"You know chronicling 2 dogs consummating, to a 7 year old was probably not the best idea, dontcha think?"

"Okayyy Kavin SheikhPyaare. Yyyep that's your new name," Purvi nodded to him, still immersed in her files, only making him roll his eyes. 

The officers had worked the case for that day and were now completing the evidence filing and filling in the database and the like.

*

The day after, Kavin came in for desk duty only to find the whole bureau gathered around Shaheer and Purvi doing a match of Chopsticks, with Pankaj collecting the money in his guinea pig's (named Guinea Pankaj) cage as every CID officer in sight placed a bet; mostly on Purvi because fuck Shaheer (that too, I swear I am trying).

Kavin didn't see Pankaj with Guinea Pankaj making his way over to him.

He also didn't notice GP munching on the cash flowing into his cage.

And neither did he notice when Purvi looked at him with distracted eyes hoping he'd place a bet on her skillset.

He only noticed the switch board in front of him short circuiting when he plugged in his dead best friend (his phone, I mean).

But neither of them noticed how Shaheer won the game, seconds before the lights went out.

*In popped Sachin Tendulkar with a Luminous Powers Inverter in hand ("tAaKi kHushiYon kO kiSi Ki nAzaR nA LagE") and the electricity is restored because why not*

When the lights turned back on, everybody saw someone, rather something, which made them wish for the darkness to engulf the whole fucking world.

It was Chitrole standing with GP's cage in his hand, and the cash nowhere to be seen.

"PANKAJ! Tumhe pata hai na bureau mein pets allowed nahi hain. Phir tum iss guinea ke suar ko utha laaye?"

"Guinea pig*, sir."

"MUJHE HINDI TO ENGLISH TRANSLATION MAT SIKHAO. WREN AUR MARTIN MERE HI STUDENTS HAIN."

"Pets banned hain toh phir toh Vansh ko bhi ban kar do," Abhijeet murmured to Daya, making him wheeze.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Abhijeet?"

"No sir."

"Goood. Mujhe machhi market wale dialogue tak nahi jaana tha."

"Par sir aap GP ko chhodiye, uske cage mein jo cash tha hume vaapas kijiye."

"Konsa cash?"

"Abhi describe kiya location ko. Phir karun?"

"Tum kehna chahte ho maine use churaaya?"

"Nahi par cash cage mein tha. Cage aapke paas hai. Toh until and unless one of us has gone senile, cash bhi aapke paas hi hona chahiye."

"Arey fuddu logon, ek choohe ke pinjre mein note daaloge toh voh thodi na anarkali pe udaayega. Voh toh usse khaayega."

"Par voh Anarkali ko kaise khaayega? Voh toh anar bhi nahi khaata lol," reasoned Pankaj.

"AREY ANARKALI KO NAHI PAISON KO. TUMHAARA SUAR PAISE KHAATA HAI."

"Huh at least criminals se toh nahi khaata, unlike Mr. uhu-uhu," coughed Purvi under her breath, making the backbenchers chuckle.

"Dekho mai maanta hu mai tatti aadmi hun, par iss suar ki tatti mein se paise main bhi nahi churaaunga."

"Sir but-"

"Oh shut up, you bet your ass he's gonna poop out 20 gandhijis right now."

"you know that wouldn't happen because of digestion, right..?"

"ARGHHHHH ACP KO BOLNA MUJHSE BAAT KARNE AAYE," screamed Chitrole before stomping out.

*

Sachin mustn't have done his research completely, because the power gave out and the bureau was dark once again. 

Money-less and vision-less officers scattered around like guinea pigs to find candles and get an electrician.

Abhijeet: ok sab log; main aur hehe tarika ji huehuehue jaake candles laate hain.

Groans erupted all around.
"phir toh aa gayi roshni..."

"ey chup be. Laa rahe hain na.  Tab tak tum log. Stick close together and get a buddy to hold on to."

"Abhijeet yeh 4th class ki picnic nahi hai but ok."

Purvi's heart was in her mouth as she approached the person nearest to her. Her hands were wet with sweat, and so was her forehead, because unknown to most, she was shit ass scared of the dark. But she somehow calmed herself and counted her breaths.

That's where our cupid came to play his role. Shaheer knew exactly what purvi was thinking and jiske paas voh jaa rahi thi voh kon tha.
He went and stood just beside her (Kavin was standing in front of his desk, searching for his phone).
He kept his bag at purvi's feet, which inevitably Purvi tripped on.

She closed her eyes, waiting to hit the cold floor, but somehow that never happened because she landed on a very soft surface??

Wait a second! Mai zinda hu? Haan hu toh, I can hear my heart beats (A/N- nahi purvi! Tum Kavin ki dhadkanein sun rhi ho. Dumbo).
Par phir aisa kyun lag rha hai ki mai kisi baadal pe leti hu? Oh achha! Mai ek cushion pe leti houngi. Mai kitni smart hu na!
Yeh cushion ki smell toh bohot achhi hai (yeah, purvi is basically sniffing kavin's shirt). Par bureau ke beech mein cushion kisne rakha? Koi baat nahi iss cushion ne mujhe bacha liya. Isse ek hug deni toh banti hai.
And, she gave the cushion a big bear hug, and continued hugging it until a pair of hands emerged from that 'cushion' and hugged her back.

What the fuck?!

Purvi was flabbergasted and opened her eyes, just to see a pair of eyes staring back at her. (Haha, yes this shit is real.)

As purvi opened her eyes and saw that her 'cushion' was staring right back at her; she went into the panic mode and started screaming. 

*deep breath* "BHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT."

And Pankaj and Freddy answered by screaming from their respective corners of the bureau and probably climbing up on the person (Daya) next to them.

But soon enough, the same two hands that had hugged her, emerged from the cushion again and had covered her mouth (so that she couldn't scream). In an instant, she found herself pinned to the ground and the 'cushion' was lying over her.

She vaguely heard someone say, "Purvi, shushh, mai hu. Shh," over her loud, loud, loud screams.

That's when she saw Kavin's face, in all its glory, hovering inches above her own.
Such close proximity with him made butterflies flutter in her stomach, and soon, Kavin removed his hand from her mouth and cocked an eyebrow at her. He was all but lying on top of her.
"Purvi, mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum mein kutton ke genes hain, kyunki jis hisaab se aap mujhe soongh rahi thi, mujhe nahi lagta vaise doosre log karte hain," he teased.

Purvi opened her mouth to speak something, but nothing came out. So, she had to shut it back like a goldfish. The butterflies were still there.
Kavin would have smirked had he been able to see his effect on her but alas.

They lay there for God knows how long.
*the writer is honestly fed up with their eyelocks. Why is she so damn single!? Ugh*
That is until Purvi cleared her throat and ended the silence, "umm, sir aapko mere upar se hatna padega, nahi toh I am afraid mera werewolf side bahaar aa jaayega." She tested the waters as she bared her teeth at him, like a hungry wolf.
Trying to scare him? What the hell were you thinking Purvi?

He spluttered apologies as he stood up and offered her a hand to stand up, like a gentleman.

Purvi slowly rose up to her feet with his hand in hers, both as red as (as someone here would say) desi tamaatar. 

Idk what the fuck this was but ok bye.