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evangeline blackwood

Adonis was waiting for me, as usual, outside my house. He hoisted my bag onto his shoulder as we climbed out of his truck and into college, grabbing my hand as he did so.

I sent him a questioning look as he squeezes my hand, not sure if I was comfortable with the very public display of affection. But he shrugs at my look.

People are going to think we're together and I might like him but I don't want people to know that.

By the time we're in Biology, I finally gathered the courage to ask him, "Why?"

"Because, even though you don't need me to protect you, I need people to know that you aren't alone."

By the time lunch came around, I'd received about a hundred looks and was getting irritated.

I glare at Adonis as I sit across from him at the lunch table but he just cocks his eyebrows at me.

"I could fucking kill you right now, everyone keeps staring at me."

Following Adonis walking me to English Literature after our Biology Class, I've not been able to walk or sit anywhere without hearing my name in countless whispers and having people staring at me.

"Darlin', it ain't because of Adonis." Morgan speaks up, Ashanti and Rory nod at his words.

I freeze, "What d'you mean?"

"A video of you and Karis arguing has been on Snapchat all night. It ends with her face covered in blood as you walk away."

"So what?" I shrug my shoulders, but my nonchalant expression fades as I notice Logan's absence.

"No one's ever fought her and walked away standing before." Ashanti informs me, but I already knew that. "E, people aren't staring at you because you and Donnie are suddenly a thing, they're scared of you and, I think, they're scared for you. You can hear her mention Jonah and threaten us."

"She won't touch any of you, neither will Jacobsen or Osman." I promise but I can feel Morgan staring at me, I avoided his gaze.

"I can't believe she mentioned your brother, E. That's fucking disgusting." Rory shakes her head, disgust littering her face.

"I bet they know who killed him." Ashanti says without hesitation.

"Yeah, th-"

I cut Morgan off, "Everyone needs to calm down. Where's Logan?"

Ashanti snorts, "Probably getting some."

"What?"

"Him and Apollo. They're official now, didn't he tell you?" Ashanti asks, eyebrows furrowed.

Staying silent, I shake my head even though I can't control the confusion in my features.

Maybe I'm overthinking what Karis said, maybe it's just because I haven't seen him in a while so we haven't had a chance to catch up.

"I think we should go out after College." Rory suggests, handing Morgan her last box of chicken nuggets.

He starts eating them eagerly, nodding in agreement with her statement.

"Fine."

I stand up, going to walk to Psychology when I notice Ashanti walking beside me.

My frown deepens as Ashanti begins to follow me. "Your class is on the other side of college."

"I know." She chirps, shrugging as a tiny smile tugs up my lips.

Ashanti's always been the sun in my life, the epitome of light and happiness. Warmth and serenity; bright eyes, bright smiles and soft stares. Whenever one of my storms commenced, she was always radiated the light at the end of the tunnel.

She's always been my sunlight when my world's been grey, always holding me up through the hurricane.

"Why are you following me?"

"Maybe I just wanted to." She tells me teasingly.

"'Ti," I level up with her now, stopping. "Tell me the truth, has a hit been put out?"

She hesitates, looking away from me. "Not at the moment."

"So why am I being followed by all of you 24/7?"

"Karis won't drop this, you know that."

I nod my head, "I ain't scared of her, Ashanti."

"It isn't about being scared, it's about being smart."

-----------------

Morgan's eyes widen as he stares at the gang of boys stood outside college. Even though they weren't for us, or at least as far as I knew, he still looked anxious. His eyes lock with Adonis' and then Ashanti's and they all seem to have the same idea.

Adonis grabs my hand, turning to me while I watch Morgan do the same for Ashanti.

But I pull my attention back to Adonis, who speaks to me quietly. "Eva, go to the library and I'll come find you once it's cleared."

"I'm not scared, Don. I ain't going to hide just for some boys." I try to search his eyes but all I see is pride and fear.

It isn't a good combination.

"I know, Eva. I know." He swirls a strand piece of my hair around his finger, "But for me, please? I don't want to worry."

I nod my head, "Okay."

"Okay." He smiles softly.

Ashanti and I wait in the school library for them to show up. The word patience and me have never become acquainted so I go to find out what's taking the boys so long, despite Ashanti begging me to stay put.

"I'm just going to the toilet, give me a second." I lie, knowing that Ashanti can see through my bullshit.

By the time I'm going to leave the building, I pause upon hearing Morgan and Adonis speaking.

"-different when I'm around her." Adonis says, "She makes me better, she makes me feel safe."

"Safe? How?"

"Because she's like me, she knows how I feel about Scar. When I'm with yous...I.." Dee trails off.

"It's not what?" Morgan cuts him off, the sharpness of his tone almost making me flinch despite the fact I couldn't see him.

"I don't even mean you, Morgs. But back home, no one was like this. Before they discovered sex and weed and alchohol, they were different, happy. Now, that's the only important thing."

"I'm not like that."

"You're my brother, family." He says with so much honesty that it's almost overbearing to overhear. "I've never felt like this about anyone before that wasn't family, I've never cared."

"We need to protect them, man." Morgan tells him lowly, "I'd die before I let anything happen to them girls. They're everything."

"Me too." I hear Adonis slap Morgan's shoulder and I take that as a sign to go back upstairs. A million things are going through my mind upon hearing that conversation, Morgan and Adonis seem scared that we're going to get hurt.

If they're scared, why aren't I?

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"That smells good." Adonis bolts upright as we step into the Ice-Cream parlour.

As usual, the scent of mouth-watering cookie dough and waffles welcomes us.

"Thank you, Sir." Morgan grins, wafting his face dramatically as if he was the one being complimented. "I'm ordering, go sit down."

I pull out my purse when Morgan's hand goes over mine, "Don't worry about it, Darlin. I'm getting it."

"Bu-"

"No." He finalises, "You can get our next one. This round's on me."

"It isn't cheap, Morgs." I try to stress, "Especially for all of us."

"I've been saving up so I could take us all out. Don't worry about it, E." Morgan tells me gently, giving my arm a quick squeeze before gesturing for me to go over to the booth.

I settle down next to Adonis, whose arm is already wrapped loosely around my shoulders.

Morgan brings over all our food with the assistance of two waitresses, I shake my head at him.

"Why is there 6 cups of coffee?" Ashanti questions.

"Have you ever met Adonis?" Morgan rolls his eyes, handing each of us one and Adonis three.

"Why?" I turn my head up so I can look at him properly, my eyebrows furrowed.

"I like coffee." He shrugs, but I felt like it was more than that.

He seems to notice my suspicion and lowers his head down to my ear, "I'm trying to cut down on the beer. This helps."

I don't reply to him, just leaning my head on his shoulder as a smile tugs on my lips.

"Is that all you eat?" Ashanti mutters, looking at Morgan's massive bowl of ice cream.

He'd bought both Ashanti and I a waffle covered in chocolate, while Adonis had his coffee and cookie dough.

But all Morgan had was a bowl of ice cream.

Adonis' shoulders shake with laughter, "Cookie's n Cream? God, that's all you've had since we were about 7."

Morgan shrugs with his mouth full.

"Seriously?" Ashanti asks, disgust written on her face.

"My Mum used to buy us tubs of it when we were younger and he just fell in love with it. It's the only ice-cream he'll eat." Adonis explains.

As all the food is set onto the table, the bell from the door rings and Apollo strolls in. After spotting us and, more importantly, our food, he comes over.

"Cookie dough?" He stumbles as he makes his way across the array of tables, "Cookie dough." He mutters again, reaching his arms out like a zombie.

I stifle a laugh and push him one of the bowls.

"Coffee? Tell me you have coffee." He's giving me them puppy dog eyes now and I send a glare to Adonis, who's covering his THREE cups with his arms.

"Dee."

"No."

"Just give him one."

"No."

"Please?"

"Mine."

"For me?" I flutter my eyelashes, smiling at him.

He's shaking his head but we both know his refusal is futile.

"It's my coffee."

"Please." I repeat, sticking my lower lip out.

"I hate you all." He mutters, quite opening showing his difficulty in handing his twin brother a cup.

Apollo eyes us knowingly, his eyebrows quirking up as he takes in our close proximity.

"Did you speak to Logan?" Morgan asks stiffly, sending everyone's attention to Apollo.

He seems uncomfortable at the question, avoiding eye contact instantly with all of us. "He said he didn't want to speak about Karis."

"Did he say why he hasn't been around much anymore?" Ashanti buts in, not being able to hide the pain in her eyes.

It has been almost a week since Logan had shown up at my door covered in his own, and someone else's blood. He hadn't spoken to me since, despite the array of missed calls and unread texts that I've sent him.

I knew Ashanti was in the same boat.

"Said he's been busy."

"I don't know what's going on with him but I don't want to drag you in the middle of it all," I tell Apollo, "So please, just take care of him."

Apollo nods simply at me and I take it as my message to relax.

The others begin to engage in some random conversation when the first shooting pain hits me. I know what it is instantly and I can't even explain how unnecessary it is at this moment in time.

I curl over, gripping my stomach. It burns, spreading and submerging my insides until I feel like my entire torso is on fire. Constant stabbing sensations.

"Fuck." I mutter, gripping my teeth as I lean my head down on the table and wrap my arms around my midriff.

"Get her pills." I hear Ashanti say but it feels distant.

My head fucking hurts.

I can't wait for this pain to stop. To not have to worry about going out with my friends in case I have another episode.

Someone touches me and I know it's Adonis by the way my skin ignites upon his touch. He pushes my painkillers into my hand and nudges my shoulder with a cup.

I swallow them without hesitating, putting my head back on the table.

Ashanti starts up another conversation, I thank her internally for providing a distraction so I can focus on something other than this pain.

Confession: That episode lasted on-and-off for about a week. The pain never gets easier.