|| Coral ||

You know the moment when you know everything is falling apart in a relationship but you still desperately try to hold on?

That's exactly what I was doing.

One would say I was stupid to hold on. Maybe I was. But God, I loved him so much. How could I just let go? I promised that I would always walk by his side and support him. Even if it felt like I was never his priority. Even if it felt like our love wasn't mutual anymore.

No, that's all got to be just in my head. I wanted to believe that. So desperately.

That's why I was still calling him even after being sent to voicemail for the last three days.

Some miracle happened, and today, he received the call.

"Hello." I was over the moon as I heard his voice after what felt like an eternity. But his next word broke my heart. "Coral?"

That wasn't what he was supposed to call me. That's not... forget it.

I felt tears gather into my eyes, but I held back. I wouldn't cry. He'd just find it annoying. I cleared my throat and greeted, "Um, hi, Wyatt."

"Yeah, what?" Wyatt asked in a busy tone, and I could hear male noises in the background.

"Are you at the office?" I asked, trying not to be disheartened by his lack of interest.

"Where else would I be at this time?"

"Yeah, of course, I'm being silly." I let out a fake chuckle.

"Except for being silly, why did you call?"

"Why, can I not call my boyfriend for no reason?" I joked.

"Not when he's busy," Wyatt replied curtly.

I bit my lips and dug my fingernails into my palm to compromise the physical pain from the throbbing in my heart. "Right, of course, I-I'm sorry." My voice cracked a little, but I went on, "I'm sorry for calling you in your busy times to let you know that I... I'm going to Anaheim tomorrow."

"Okay. Have a safe journey."

Really? That's all he was going to say?

"That's all? Won't you ask why I am going?" I snapped.

"Don't be so dramatic. I'll ask you later. I gotta go now. I've got a meeting."

"Wait—"

"Bye. Love you."

'No, you don't! You don't love me! Not anymore!' my inner voice screamed those words at him, but my mouth wouldn't voice them out, thanks to my treacherous heart which still wanted to believe and to hold on. So I let Wyatt hang up on me without a word of protest.

I sat down on the floor to curl myself into a ball, already breaking down into sobs.

I have been dating Wyatt for more than five years, ever since my junior year in high school. Back then, he was a senior. And now, I was in the fourth year of my university. Although most of that relationship was spent long-distance, we were never unfaithful to each other. Yes, there were moments when I may have doubted Wyatt, but that was just my irrational insecurities. I could be a lot to handle, sometimes.

Loyalty wasn't really an issue between us. It was the lack of communication and time.

Despite spending most of the time away from each other, Wyatt still made me the happiest girlfriend on earth. He was the most caring person I had ever met. He accepted my overbearing self with open arms and made me feel accepted like never before. He was everything I ever needed.

But after he started his business a year ago, he has had no time for me. It was starting to get too much for me. Negligence hurts. Not being a priority anymore hurts.

While I knew that he was working hard, I was slowly falling into a depth of sadness, and he had no idea because he didn't care anymore. Money and success were everything to him now.

Still, that's okay.

I know Wyatt would be there for me when I'd really need him. Right, I was just pestering him for no reason. He didn't need to know that I was going to our hometown because my mom was sick.

I was still crying near my dorm bed when I got a call from one of my mom's friends who has been taking care of her.

I sniffled and dried my tears before picking up the call. "Hey, how's Mom?" I asked, but the only response I got was muffled sobs.

My heart spiked. "Johanna, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I inquired urgently.

"C-Coral, yo-your mom..."

"What happened to Mom? Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay!"

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Johanna sobbed. "Sh-she started coughing up blood, t-then I took he-her to the hospital. But t-they said sh-she passed away even before she was brought in."

With that, my entire world turned upside down.

———

There were no seats on the direct flight from Berkeley to Anaheim, so I booked a cab, and the only thing I did was desperately call Wyatt.

But he didn't pick up once.

"P-please, please, Wyatt, pick up. I need you," I whispered while clutching my phone tightly to my ear.

My brain couldn't really process what was happening, couldn't even get any tears out yet, just knew that I would be needing Wyatt. I wouldn't be able to stand straight when I'd see my mom. I needed his support.

He promised me he would always be there for me. He... he would be, right?

"Miss, do you need some water?" the cab driver asked. I shook my head, dialing Wyatt's number again. "You have been anxious for a long time. I really ought not to pry, but what happened?"

I rested my head on the window and stared out. "M-my mom... she died." As I said those words out loud, the reality of the situation only started to sink deeper, started to seem less and less like a nightmare I would get from an untimely nap.

"I'm sorry to hear that, dear." I was glad that he didn't say any more useless comforting words, because really, nothing would affect me. "Does your dad know?"

"They are divorced," I murmured spitefully.

"That's too bad. So I guess you're calling your boyfriend right now?"

I nodded my head. "But he... he's not picking up. I-I don't know why."

The cab driver sighed. "Most people are like this nowadays. No one has time for anyone. But stay hopeful. Maybe he will pick up soon."

"Yeah, he will. I know he will."

"And if he doesn't... then dear, I suggest getting out of such a relationship."

"What... what does that mean?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Break up with him."

A sharp pain, different than the one I had been feeling, shot up in my chest.

I had never considered breaking up with Wyatt for real. He has been my life for the last five years. I wouldn't be exaggerating even if I said that my world revolved around him.

"N-no, no, I would never," my lips trembled as I uttered those words while I shook my head perilously like a maniac. "Please don't say such things. I love him a lot."

"Sorry," the cab driver simply said and continued driving. He didn't utter a word for the rest of the journey, but his words kept ringing loud in my head, eating at me bit by bit, while the rest of my being was being scorched alive trying to process the news I had received from Johanna.

By the time I reached Anaheim, it was raining hard. I paid the fare and immediately got out to run inside the hospital.

I found Johanna waiting outside the morgue who rushed to hug me. That's when the tears finally came out, gushing like a goddamn dam was broken. I tightly hugged Johanna back and wailed to my heart's content.

Once I calmed down, a ward boy guided me inside the morgue. I steeled my nerves and prepared myself to look at my mother's forever resting face. But who was I kidding? How could a child ever be prepared to watch their parent's dead body?

My guts twisted like needles pricking inside my stomach, so I ran out of the morgue with the urge to throw up. My feet led me outside the hospital.

The splashing water droplets against my skin made my insides coil down. I let the rain soak me to the bones, hoping it would help me accept the fact that my mother, the woman who unconditionally loved and took care of me for the last twenty-two years, was dead.

I got a call from my best friend, Ara, and her boyfriend, Theo. They got to know from Johanna, and checked up on me, and told me they were catching the earliest flight possible. They had gone to the same high school as me and Wyatt, but they were now studying in New York.

Ara said that she would keep me company over the phone as long as I wanted. I really appreciated that. But I needed to contact Wyatt.

In between, my dad called, saying he would be coming in the morning, and I got many other calls too, but none from the person I wanted.

In the end, I decided something. I never thought I'd do this. But I had to. This was the only choice.

A person who couldn't be with me when I needed him the most wasn't the type of person I wanted to have in my life anymore. It was time to finally let go.

I opened our chatbox, and my heart shattered. The last time we chatted was two weeks ago. Our designated nicknames pained me even more.

With trembling fingers, I typed:

You: "We are over."

I wanted to put my phone back, but I couldn't be as much of an asshole to leave without an explanation. I sucked in another deep breath and started typing again:

You: "I'm sorry, Wyatt. I had a great time with you for the last five years. You made me happier than anyone else. I loved you a lot, and I felt that you loved me just as much. But I don't feel like that anymore. I feel like you don't love me like before. Sometimes, even I feel like I'm not the same anymore. The sparks between us are gone. Our relationship isn't what it used to be. You have no time for me. You leave me hanging for days. You don't listen to me anymore. When was the last time we FaceTimed? Do you remember? Because I sure don't. Did you know that every time you ignored me I died a little inside? Even now, Wyatt, I need you. My mom just died... I'm devastated. I have been calling you for hours, but you aren't picking up. What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to get comfort from? Where are you right now? Where are you when I need you? It's okay, you don't have to answer. Because I don't want to know. I'm done. I'm done being neglected. I'm done being your angel. I'm done with you. That's why I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye."

I poured out every anger and emotion I felt at that moment. Maybe it was all gibberish and immature, but I couldn't make sense of anything. Just as I pressed 'send' with my shaky hands and my phone screen went black.

Of course, the phone's lifespan ends with our relationship. After all, Wyatt gifted me that phone. Good then. So be it. No looking back.

I threw it across the street, letting it get crushed underneath a car. Then, I looked up at the dark sky and shed a few final tears for Wyatt, because I decided that I'd never cry for him again.

Wyatt's chapter in my life was over.

★★★