YOU GUYS WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED.

Okay, okay. So let's start from the beginning.

Ever since I've literally been birthed, I've been wanting a kitten. Not just one. I wanted a whole house of them. Like we're talking retired old lady style. 

But for ALL MY LIFE, I've received so many animals. BUT NOT A CAT.

My dad literally came home once with pigeons. Fat, grey-feathered PIGEONS. Like okay, they were cute and stuff. They stayed in our kitchen and after a while we-- me and my siblings-- slowly started to adore them. 

Like when I like something or someone, I feed em. I like cooking, but like not eating. I mean I like eating, but cooking feels better. Don't ask, I'm weird.

So we fed them. And fed them. And they were SO CUTE and chubby but SO CUTE.

And then one day they were GONE. We asked what happened, and my dad said, "I'll tell you all at dinner."

And we all sat for dinner and started eating some yummy veggie and chicken rice my mom made with salad and all that. And then halfway through we ask again cuz we CURIOUS AS HELL at this point.

My dad was like, "Oh, the pigeons? You're eating em."

THE CHICKEN WASN'T CHICKEN. IT WAS PIGEON!!!! MY BIRTH FATHER PLAYED THE EVIL VILLAIN AND MADE US EAT OUR PETS!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So yeah. That happened.

I still wanted a cat, so I asked again. And then we got birds. Two dozen canaries and two parakeets. And you might think it sounds beautiful with the chirping and singing, but IT DON'T MAM. IT SOUNDS LIKE BULLETS INTO MA EARS EVERY. Try having that many birds singing at once. You thought you getting nature calls? NOPE, we're sending in the entire army with their gun power and EVERYTHING.

They wake us up every single morning before even the outside birds wake up.

SINGLE.

MORNING.

But I still want a cat.

Now we have 20-something chickens that live in our backyard. We had turkeys that lived with them, but they've relocated to the freezer. Guess they're half polar bear or somethin' I don't know lol.

And DO YOU KNOW WHAT CAME IN TODAY, LIVING IN MY GARAGE FROM HERE ON OUT??

Four baby goats.

Four. Flipping. Ba-ba-ing. Furry. (Cute). BABY. GOATS.

And they're all male, so we can't get milk from them. And my dad don't get pets as a hobby, if they don't have their benefits he ain't buying it. So do you know what that means??

Pigeon trauma all over again.

SOMEONE SEND ME GET A CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: we have one now :)