"How long do we think it'll take for someone to notice?" Kaminari mused, his cheek pressed against Izuku's hair in their current cuddle pile. The second Star Wars prequel playing on the TV was going mostly unnoticed as the three men were past the bubbly stage of being stoned and nose-diving into nap territory. 

Izuku yawned, turning slightly to bury his face into Sero's shoulder as his eyelids grew heavier. "Notice what? Us sleeping in the middle of the day?" he asked, his words slurred and slightly muffled from the t-shirt pressed against his mouth. 

"Boyfriends with training wheels," Sero clarified, one of his hands absently smoothing over Izuku's hair. He let it move to far and bumped Kaminari's nose. It earned a disgruntled noise from the blond. "Sorry." 

"Dick." 

"It's been two hours and you're already fighting," Izuku whined. Even in his elevated state, he wasn't going to miss a chance to say I told you so.

"That's not fighting," Kaminari grumbled. "Back to my question." 

"I don't know, probably right away," Izuku mumbled, wishing they would be quiet so he could sleep. 

Sero scoffed at the answer. "I don't think anyone will notice 'til we say something." 

"They're not going to notice us dating?" Izuku asked, unconvinced. 

"Look at us right now, Iz," Sero instructed. 

Izuku lifted his head with a sigh, hating how much work it took. He glanced at Sero, then over his shoulder at Kaminari. "Yeah?" 

"Anything different?" 

"Um, we're cuddling." 

"Is that new?" 

"Oh... no." 

"Now you see it," Sero said with an amused hum. "We were basically dating already." 

"New question," Kaminari said with a sleepy mumble, but Izuku could hear the smile in his tone. "Who's gonna kick our ass first?" 

"There are so many options," Sero teased, his fingers never stilling as they combed through Izuku's hair. The green-haired man was positive his curls were going to be a frizzy mess, but he found that he didn't really care. 

"Nuh uh," Izuku mumbled. "Sho or Kacchan. My money is on Kacchan." 

"Then there's Shinsou," Kaminari added with a small hum. 

Sero nodded in agreement. "And Kirishima. We're gonna be disrupting his boyfriend's fragile equilibrium. He'll be pissed too." 

"I don't think Ash will be angry, but we'll probably get smacked for letting chaos descend on the house," Kaminari said, squeezing the arm around Izuku's waist once to get more comfortable. 

Sero rolled his eyes as he sank further down the headboard he was propped against. "Don't forget the entire freshman class that've been eyeing him since the start of term." 

"Wow, we made a lot of enemies in the part two hours," Kaminari said with a breathy chuckle. 

"You're both drama queens," Izuku mumbled, not seeing the big deal. His brothers were the only ones they had to worry about, and Izuku already had a tentative deal with one of them. It truly wasn't a big deal. 

Kaminari lifted himself onto an elbow so he could see Izuku without the shorter needing to strain his neck. "Oh, you think we're being dramatic?" 

"Insufferably, yes," Izuku said simply. 

"Who do you think is home?" Kaminari asked Sero. 

"Ash and Kiri, probably," Sero said with a shrug. 

"Perfect practice round!" Kaminari said cheerfully, jumping out of the bed like he wasn't comatose two seconds ago. 

Izuku let out a cross between a whine and a growl at the loss of warmth on his back. He was a basking snake, and the sunlight just fled. 

"C'mon, carino. We're about to prove that we're practical, not dramatic," Sero coaxed. He lifted the arm Izuku was lying on until the younger man had no choice but to sit up in bed. A kiss was placed on top of his fluffed-up hair, and a hand was wrapped around his wrist, urging him to his feet. 

"I hate you both and want to break up," Izuku mumbled, but neither of the men gave an inclination they'd even heard him. 

Izuku was dragged, barely awake, to the first floor of the house and deposited onto a stool at the counter. Ashido was sitting two stools down, watching the three over the brim of her coffee cup with eyes twinkling with laughter. 

"Hey, Ash," Kaminari greeted with his beaming smile. "Kiri home?" 

"Upstairs," she said simply. Her mug was set down as her eyes looked between the three men. "What're you plotting?" 

"You'll see," Sero said with a matching grin as Kaminari moved to the stairs, calling for the redhead. 

Kirishima walked down the stairs a minute later, towel drying his hair in only a pair of black sweats. Izuku suddenly had a new respect for his blond brother for punching so far up when it came to his partner. Katsuki Bakugou really did not deserve all of that. 

"What's up?" 

Kaminari bounced up on his toes once, his hands on the counter as his golden eyes flipped from Kirishima to Ashido. "So, you know how there's been a whole bunch of drama in the house with Iz?" 

"Wow, really starting to fall in love over here," Izuku mumbled as he folded his arms and let his head rest there. He still wanted to nap. 

Ashido's eyes had narrowed at the opener, much more suspicious now. "Where're you going with this, Kami?" 

Kaminari placed a hand over his heart like he'd been shot. "I fix our household problem, and this is how I'm thanked?" 

"You're gonna be single real quick if you keep referring to me as a problem," Izuku griped, still not lifting his head. His eyelids were incredibly heavy, and he was debating giving in to their wishes right there on the counter. 

"Single?" Kirishima echoed, a look of sickening dread taking over his features as he stared at his blond friend. 

Sero took a seat on the stool between Ashido and Izuku. "Who's dramatic now?" he whispered to his half-asleep boyfriend. 

"They're boyfriends with training wheels, or something," Izuku said through a yawn. "I don't know, I'm pretty stoned and Denks is bad at explanations." 

"Are you out of your god damn minds?!" 

Izuku was awake and alert at Ashido's barely restrained yell. 

"I did not foresee her being this pissed," Kaminari stage whispered to Sero, who just smacked him on the back of his head. 

"What the fuck is boyfriends with training wheels supposed to mean?" Kirishima asked this time, not yelling like Ashido had, but still not sounding happy. 

"They're gonna date me 'til I fall in love with them," Izuku said, rubbing at his eyes in an effort to stay awake. "It was that or be best friends until I fall in love with them, but they were really insistent about this love thing." 

Ashido's hands flew into the air as she backed up and turned to leave. "I'm moving out before Bakugou's home in fifteen minutes, and this place becomes a crime scene." 

Kaminari winced, a breath escaping through his teeth. "Didn't think that one through." 

"Kacchan can fight me if he needs to," Izuku grumbled. "For the last time, he doesn't dictate my life." 

Kirishima pinched the bridge of his nose as Ashido disappeared up the stairs. "It's not about that, Midoriya." 

Izuku blinked, looking at the redhead. If anyone was going to give him insight on his closed-off brother, his boyfriend was a good place to start. "What is it about, then?" 

Kirishima's eyes flashed up, looking between Sero and Kaminari in a silent question. 

"I don't care what you say in front of them; they probably know more about me than anyone here," Izuku said with a shrug. 

"He just-" Kirishima cut himself off to take a breath. "He just found out that for most of his life, his so-called friends had been taking advantage of you." 

"Oh, forgot he knew about that," Izuku mumbled. 

"You forgot?" 

Izuku rolled his eyes at the redhead. "Kirishima, I forget it happened to me most of the time. Ever heard of a trauma block? Sorry, I didn't wanna actively relive my brother finding out over and over again." 

Kirishima shook his head but dropped it. "The point is, he's been beating himself up for not being able to protect you then. Now, you're dating two of his current friends. Shut up. Yes, he thinks of you two as friends; you already knew that." 

Kaminari's mouth shut with an audible click. 

Izuku raised a brow at the redhead. "You don't think he trusts them with me?" 

"He doesn't trust you with anyone," he clarified. 

"Well-" 

"No, shush." Kirishima lifted one finger in Izuku's direction, effectively cutting him off by the sheer audacity the redhead had. "Kats is different than Todoroki. Todoroki grew up as the youngest, other than you. He has experience with siblings and navigating that relationship, even as fucked up as that family is. Katsuki is an only child, Midoriya. You are all he has, and for most of his life, he has had to physically protect you. Whether you realize it or acknowledge it, that is all he has ever done when it comes to you. He doesn't know how to just shut that off." 

Izuku nodded slowly as he let the information process. "What do you want me to do, then? He can't just protect me my entire life. I'd be absolutely miserable." 

Kirishima ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do with his hands before deciding to cross his arms over his chest. "You have every right to do this, but you need to be the one to tell him. You have to actually sit down and have a conversation with him, not a fight." 

Izuku snorted a laugh at that. "Try telling him that-" 

"Oh, I will," Kirishima said quickly. 

"Fine." 

Kirishima seemed to relax at Izuku's reluctant acceptance. "Thank you." 

He looked back over to Sero and Kaminari. "Honestly, you two should just run." 

Sero raised a brow. "Would he rather have Shinsou dating his baby brother? I feel as if Denks and I are the lesser of two evils." 

"Still evil," Kirishima said with a shrug. 

That was the moment Ashido decided to reappear at the top of the stairs, a duffel bag in hand. 

"You were serious?" Kirishima asked, a brow raised in question. 

"Deadly." 

Before she could actually make good on her threat, the front door opened. Katsuki Bakugou came strolling in without a care in the world, seeming more relaxed than he normally was in front of people. That relaxed state completely flew out the window when he came to a halt, staring at a packed up Ashido, his shirtless and tense boyfriend, his clearly stoned baby brother, and two grinning idiots he refused to call his friends out loud. 

"What the fuck did you do?" he asked in Sero, Kaminari, and Izuku's general direction. It didn't take more than two brain cells to figure out the tension in the house was their fault. It usually was. 

Izuku stood from the counter, placing himself physically in front of Kaminari and Sero. "We need to have an adult conversation that doesn't involve yelling," he said slowly. 

Bakugou let his backpack fall to the floor with a groan as he trudged into the house. "Thank god you're not actually my sister, or I'd be worried you were pregnant right now." 

"Well, that's physically impossible, so we're on the right track," Izuku mumbled as he watched his brother go to the fridge and fish out a bottle of water. 

The blond stopped at the counter across from Izuku, looking at him expectantly. "So? What is it this time?" 

Izuku hesitantly glanced back at his boyfriends, both of whom shrugged in response. Seeing as Kaminari and Sero weren't going to be helpful, he looked to Kirishima. 

"You have to tell him," Kirishima said again, crossing his arms as he stood at the end of the counter. 

Izuku rolled his eyes and looked back to Bakugou. The blond was being surprisingly... calm. The term 'calm before the storm' tickled Izuku's brain, but he decided to ignore it. 

"I..." Izuku trailed off, unsure of how to begin or the best way to phrase it to keep Sero and Kaminari alive. "I... struggle-" 

"Not new information," Bakugou said with a snort as he unscrewed the cap of his water bottle and took a swig. 

"Shut up, jackass," Izuku hissed. "Fine, you want me to rip off the bandaid? I'm incapable of being in a healthy and happy relationship because I have a fear of abandonment or something, and Denki's bright idea was for me to date him and Hanta. Any questions?" Izuku was huffing as he stared down the blond who had gone a little too still. 

Everyone in the kitchen waited with baited breath for Bakugou's body to catch up to his ever-violent mind. Slowly and meticulously, he lowered his water bottle, screwed the cap back on, and looked over at Kaminari and Sero. 

"You gonna take care of him?" 

Izuku's heart dropped to his ass at the question. That was what he wanted to know? Since. fucking. when? 

"Yes," Sero said quickly, not having as much of a struggle to grasp the concept of a calm Bakugou as Izuku did. 

"Keep him out of trouble?" 

Kaminari was the one to speak up this time. He made a 'so-so' motion with his hand, "As much as Izuku Midoriya is capable of staying out of." 

Bakugou mulled over the answer for a moment. "You gonna hurt him?" 

"Not even in the realm of possibilities, Bakubro," Kaminari said with a firm nod. 

"I'm giving a branch right now, don't hang yourself with that stupid fucking nickname," the blond growled, a flash of the anger Izuku knew he was feeling breaking free before he could reign it in again. 

"Fine," he said after another moment of silence. 

"Fine?!" Izuku exclaimed. "No screaming, throwing things, threats? Just fine?" 

Bakugou took a breath, looked between everyone in the room, before he zeroed in on Sero and Kaminari. "They're both idiots. I don't think they're smart enough to hurt you, Deku. Not only that, they're genuinely scared shitless of me because they know I won't care about going to prison if they so much as make you uncomfortable." 

Kirishima moved from his place as the middleman and slung an arm over Bakugou's shoulder, knocking their heads together once. "And?" he prodded. 

The blond rolled his eyes, but continued. "And, if I'm not such a hardheaded dick all the time, you'll be comfortable enough to tell if they do hurt you. Then they're my problem. Until then, they're yours." 

Izuku blinked. "You gotta teach me how you did that," he said in awe to Kirishima. 

"Okay, okay, moments over. You can all fuck off now," Bakugou snapped, pushing his boyfriend off of him as the redhead threw his head back with a laugh. 

The tension of the moment left, and Kaminari snuck up behind Izuku, wrapping his arms around the younger man's middle and letting his chin rest on his shoulder. "If Bakubro isn't gonna kill us, does that mean Todoroki is?" 

Izuku hummed, leaning back into the touch. "Kacchan's all fight now, talk later, but Sho likes to plan. You've got... probably two weeks after you tell him before you have to worry about retaliation." 

"You really know how to put us at ease," Sero mumbled, placing a kiss on top of Izuku's head. 

"That's for referring to me as a problem twice." 

Kaminari's lips met the skin behind Izuku's ear and sent a shiver down his spine. "Sorry, sweetheart." 

"You're gonna make me vomit," Bakugou grumbled from across the kitchen. 

"Boo-hoo," Izuku snapped back, sticking his tongue out at his older brother. 

The doorbell rang, and everyone in the kitchen glanced at each other, silently asking if anyone had invited someone over. 

The doorbell rang again. 

"I'll get it," Ashido said with a huff just as it rang again. 

And again. 

And again. 

"I'm coming, Jesus fucking Christ. I swear to god if it's Monoma I'm gonna- Oh, hello, beautiful." 

I'm just having fun tbh :)