He was faceless, but he was everything. He was the reason I still breathed, aside from Moonsie. It would've been better if I never found out more- at least, that's what I used to think.

(edited xx).

****

I'm fuming so hard as I stalk away from Michael, my fists clenched and my arms stiff at my sides. I can't get my mind off of it, the way a churning storm awaited me behind his eyes, begging me to take the bait. But I didn't, and I've promised myself I never will.

The grass is wet with early dew, my feet swishing furiously as I crush the deeply green blades. Jay hops up from his spot in the circle to meet me, but I stalk past him, my heart beating in my chest erratically. Can Jay see my heart beating? It must be impossible for him not to.

"Hey, Skipper!" Jay calls after me, running to catch up. "Hey! What happened, are you alright?" "No! He's so infuriating, he just..." "It's ok, just ignore him." I can't! I want to tell him I can't! There's a part of me that yearns for Michael, yearns to know him. Aches for him to want me the way I can't stop myself from wanting him, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise. He's even more magnetic than Zeus, but his bi-polar mood swings frustrate me.

Jay faces me, frowning with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. I face him. He's everything I ever thought about in a guy, not that I really spent much time on it. He seems to like me for me, and he's not hard to look at. His smile is sweet, his eyes have a lack of turmoil. "Skipper, I-" I stand on tiptoes, and press my mouth to his, hooking my arms around his neck. He smiles through the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You're so amazing." He whispers into my hair, brushing the surface of my cheek with his thumb. I'm gonna force myself to like Jay the way I ache for Michael. He's the ideal guy, so... I've decided he's gonna be my only focus. I rest against him. "You are too." I know he's grinning without even lifting my head from his chest.

****

What is the name of the procedure that removes excess liquid from the pericardium? Pericardiocentesis. Easy. I would already be done with this week's pretest if it weren't for Michael staring at me. I tuck a curly ringlet of hair behind my ear, and close my eyes. The lecture hall for my surgery class is too big, too empty, toomuch space and not enough people. There's nothing to distract me, not even the medical knowledge on the pretest to keep me from acknowledging the icy brown eyes glued to me.

"Princess Joanne Nelson." Michael whispers for the fiftieth time today. I close my eyes, growling quietly. I will never give in to him, even though my heart is begging me to. I wish I hated him. It would be so much easier if I did. My heart rate wouldn't speed up when he talked to me, my skin wouldn't prickle at the slightest brush of his fingertips. My conscience wouldn't betray me every time I see his beautiful face...

Right now my conscience is cooperating with me. "Princess Joanne Nelson!" He whispers more urgently, his hand sliding across the long desk towards my spot. The seats are not assigned in this class, so he could sit in a different spot everyday if he wanted to. Instead, probably to spite me (and torture me) he sits in the spot right next to me everyday.

"Shut up! I'm done talking to you!" I almost spit, barely containing the venom in my voice. "Why?" He says quietly, softly, everything that's the opposite of Michael.

"All you do is make me emotional, and hurt me! I will not be friends with you, I will not be your girlfriend, I will not talk to you, look at you, or even breathe your air! So give up now, because I am done!" I whisper-scream, standing to turn my test in. He scowls, his eyes harder than diamonds once again, and... just as shiny and beautiful.

"Fine, I don't know why you kept coming around anyways. You're just some fucking chick who thinks she's something, like the rest of them." "I don't know why either." "I guess you just couldn't take the hint." He smirks, and once again, I feel a pang of hurt in my chest. But I guess I asked for it.

I walk my paper up to the desk. The professor looks over it as I ignore the daggers shooting from Michael's eyes and digging into my back. "Congratulations, Miss Nelson. You'll be going back to the hospital this week." I grin with pleasure.

****

The week seems to pass in the blink of an eye, especially without Michael to weigh me down. Jay and I... made it official, he asked me immediately right after the bonfire kiss. And I'm happy, but... there's something missing.

I'm furious at Michael. Completely furious. But I find that once I've worn out thinking about my dad all night while I'm trying to fall asleep, my mind wanders to Michael. I seriously dislike him, and even with that said I find myself desperately wanting to see him. I want to see his shiny-toothed smile, and hear his rich laugh. It's music to my ears when he isn't being an ass.

Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I rush down the path towards the bus. "Hey, Skipper." Jay runs up, slinging his arm around my shoulders. I rest against his shoulder as I rush simultaneously, giving a smile to him. I would never tell him he's not the man primarily holding my thoughts.

"Hey." "You heading off to the hospital again, saving some lives?" "I'll probably be stuck in the pit on scut, but I love the hospital anyways." He faces me right before I get on the bus. "Have fun, alright?" He smiles, hugging me to his chest. "Of course." He kisses my forehead gently, a simple and sweet gesture. I could never imagine Michael doing that.

I wave to him and climb on the bus. I can't help but notice Michael was watching the whole time, an unreadable expression on his face as he stares.

****

I frown, looking back and forth one last time. I'm the one who feels like a lost puppy now, watching all the interns mill about the Pit, chasing after their assigned resident.

A list was posted in the locker room, binding each intern to a resident, but for some reason my name wasn't on that list. I changed into my scrubs and lab coat anyways, and while everyone was getting their brand-new shiny hospital pagers, I stood there like a damsel. Michael didn't even look at me, brushing past like a cold and unfeeling robot. Why do I care? I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with him, and he returned the favor. So why do I feel that there's something left unsaid?

I stop one of the residents, forcing my thoughts of Michael to a different corner of my mind yet again. "Um, I didn't get a resident." The man stops and faces me, hands on his sides. "You're... Dr. Nelson, yes?" "Skipper." "Oh, well. Chief Rose requested that you weren't assigned to a resident, and that you're to report to his office immediately."

My eyes widen, my heart flipping and kicking in my chest. "Oh, um... ok." I choke, my throat squeezing shut.

"Can you find it on your own?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." I turn stiffly, and walk away quickly, scaling the stairs and walking across the bridge suspended above the lobby.

Chief Rose's office is very open, the walls are made of glass with tasteful furniture and even a few paintings. I stand in the open doorway, unsure, shifting my weight from foot to foot. He sits at his big dark wooden desk, covered with papers and forms. He's writing intently, his eyebrows furrowed. I really don't want to interrupt him, so I stand there, caught between knocking on the door and walking away.

"Are you just gonna stand there, or come in?" He asks, scaring the crap out of me. I recover quickly, and ease into the room. "They told me you wanted me to report to you?" He looks up at me from his paperwork, twirling the pen in his hand over and over.

"Yeah. Sit." He almost smiles as I take a seat in the chair in front of his desk. He slides a pager across the desk. "This is your special pager, it's a bit different than the ones the other interns received. I've decided that you are going to be my intern. You've got... so much untapped potential, and you remind me of myself." He says, studying me. I nod, swallowing over and over.

"Thank you." "Alright, enough with the flattery. Rules. You answer every page at a run, and I mean every page. When you're on call, sleep when you can, eat when you can, but other than that, you will work hard. Keep up, and do your job to the best of your ability. It's all I'm asking of you." I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. He's wearing a bandanna and baseball cap again, twisting some of the silver rings on his fingers.

He stands, stretching his arms. "So, are you ready to go?" He smiles, adjusting his lab coat. "What, you mean that's it?" I ask, blushing at the sight of his chest beneath the scrubs. "No point sitting here any longer. Let's go."

I tuck the pager into my belt, and follow him, speeding fast to keep up with his long strides.

Basically, my job is to shadow him, take notes, put in central lines, and just try to absorb his job. It's pretty hands on, and he seems to enjoy teaching me. I get to watch him take care of patients, and best of all, I watch several procedures in just one day, up close and personal, right in the OR.

The other interns are jealous of course, but that's expected.

After a long day, he sends me home with another pet on the head, and a smile. God, why are doctors always so attractive? They're either hot, or they look like they're straight from the stone age.

****

My jaw drops as I stare at the TV, my hands is still gripping Ana's as we stand in the lounge. It was a quiet Friday night, after another week of nothing but joy (Jay and I have really started to click, his dates are sweet and thoughtful) until now. The flames of the bus crash fly through the TV, and I can practically smell the smoke from here.

I turn to Ana. "I need you to drive me to the hospital." She gives me a weird look, cocking her head. "What're you talking about?" "It's gotta be swamped, and none of the interns are there. They've gotta be stretched pretty thin, my boss could probably use some help." She sighs. "Won't you get in trouble?" She mocks, wiggling her eyebrows. "Are you gonna drive me or not?"

I burst into the hospital, pretty sure my eyes are deceiving me. I knew it would be pretty busy, but this? It's a zoo, injured people crawling all over the place. Doctors mill about, doing their best to assist people in this chaos, but it isn't working. I can practically smell the burns, the foul stench of it stings my eyes.

I look around frantically. "Junior!" Chief Rose sighs in relief, running up to me. "Thank god you're here." "I thought you might need some help, I heard about that crash." He takes time to smile at me, like he always does. His smiles are beautiful... intoxicating... attractive.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighs. "I need you down here on burn victims and sutures, alright? I'm gonna be needed in the OR 24/7." "Yeah," I nod, running toward the locker room to get changed.

****

I smile at the little girl as I finish up her stitches. "There you go," I sing, patting a bandage over the wound. "All better." The little girl smiles, showing snaggle teeth.

I chuckle, my pager beeping on my belt. I look down at it. It's been a while since I've seen Chief Rose, but this pager reads that I'm needed in the OR... for an emergency craniotomy for a patient with a swelling brain?

I rush to the OR. This can't be right, but I scrub anyways, and walk in. "Um, where's the Chief?" "You got the page, didn't you? We need you for this surgery." My jaw drops. "I've never done this before! I'm an intern, I'm... I'm not qualified for this." The scrub nurses exchange glances.

"The chief requested you, and said you were more than capable of handling this for him. He's stretched thin. If this patient stays like this any longer, the swelling of the brain will cause brain death." I gulp, my heart pounding in my ears. That disappears quickly when my surgeon side kicks in, my mouth setting along with my attention.

"Alright. Gown and Glove me."

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