Ocean's POV

"you sure your ready for this?" Michael asks sitting on the edge of the bed, as I'm getting ready. "I need to do it now, before she get's out" I sigh "I don't wanna randomly see her in the street and I honestly don't know how I'd react if that happens"

"but, you don't know how you'll react when you see her today either" he points out. "true... But at least it'll be in a safe and controlled environment" I shrug "do you know what you gonna say to her yet?"

"I have know idea" I sigh sitting beside him "you sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

"she's my mother. I have to face her alone at some point"

I haven't spoken to my mother since the night we were taken to Mollie's. Michael and I are trying to move on from the past, but until we can do that fully we need to go backwards and close certain parts once and for all, that's why I'm going to see my mother at the hospital today. I have so many unanswered questions and she's the only person that can answer them and when she does I can finally have closure and move on with my life.

**********

Michael's POV

In a way I understand why Ocean wants to see her mother. She need closure and I get that, but in other ways I don't. Our house is almost ready and pretty soon we're gonna be far away from here just like we always planned. We always talked about having a nice home. The big white wedding and a large family and in the past it's always been more of a pipe dream, but now it's really happening and pretty soon we will have the life we always dreamt of. I know seeing her mother is going to hurt her and she knows that too. I know this sounds strange, but she needs to do this and go through that pain so she can be truly happy, just like I need to do the same.

*

I go downstairs to give the children their breakfast before we go and Janet is feeding Princess her bottle and I notice the strange way she keeps looking at her. "everything ok?"

"what's it like?" She mumbles "Having children?" I ask and she nods."well... it's tiring, stressfull, expensive, even scary at times... But, it's also the most amazing thing in the world" I smile taking Princess from her giving her a kiss and cuddle "you don't ever regret having them so young?"

"not for second" I smile, pulling faces at Princess "why?"

"I was just wondering" she shrugs "well don't wonder too much. There's no way your gonna be a teen parent" I chuckle slightly under my breath "you and Ocean did it"

"yeah and look how hard it was for us"

"but you don't regret it?"

"of course not. But look how badly we messed up with DJ. We only managed to keep for five months"

"but that wasn't your fault, it was Jessica's. The courts even said he was taken away wrongfully and you didn't mess up. Your kids are all really smart and well behaved and you both take great care of them "

"maybe now" I sigh "But let's be honest, me and Ocean were shitty parents at the beginning. We cared more about ourselves and spent most of our time out of the house taking coke an doing our own thing and left everybody else to take care of DJ instead of being home taking care of him ourselves like we should have been. We we're young and we weren't ready to be parents. We thought we were and that everything would be easy and perfect, but we clearly wasn't" she doesn't say anything for a moment then looks at the ground. "is that why you did those thing's to Ocean? Because you didn't want to be a dad?" She mumbles. "I never said I didn't want to be a dad. I loved being a dad and a husband back then and I still do. Everybody thinks I felt trapped, but I've honestly never felt that way. Ocean and I were kids trying to play grownups and raise a baby, but we were still just babies ourselves. And I told you before. I never did those things to Ocean, because I was angry or resentful towards her... I was hitting her long before she got pregnant" I mumble that last part guilty. "I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because I was sick. And those blackout were happening years before DJ or Ocean came into my life and I pray every night thanking God for blessing me with them"

"so it made your life better?" She mumbles. "yes" I nod and she doesn't say anything. "why don't you guys go see if mommy's ready for me?" I smile turning to DJ and Nevaeh and they nod smiling and leave the room.

"is there something you wanna tell me?" I ask once the kids are out of the room and she shakes her head looking away from me. "Janet, are you pregnant?" I ask soft yet nervously and She doesn't answer and looks at the ground. "your are aren't you?" I sigh softly "It only happened once and..."

"once is all it takes! Surly me and and Ocean were a bad enough example for you!"

"I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me" she sobs and I pull her in close to me. "Dunk, of course I don't hate yo!" I say softly wiping her tears and pull her close to me then break away slightly. "what about the father?"

"he won't wanna know. After it happened he said he didn't wanna see me again and told everybody at school that I was a slut and I'm not I swear! I only did once and he said he loved and..."

"who is he!?" I snap hearing enough "Jimmy Carter" she mumbles Tony Carters little brother!?" I frown and she nods "you know Jimmy?"

"no, but he's about to know me!" I snap getting up to leave and she rushes over stopping me. "please. Don't say anything. If you do everybody will know!" She panics "Janet, it's bad enough some boy fucked my little sister, but to knock you up and call you a slut! I'm not letting that shit go!"

"Michael please don't tell anybody" she pleads with me. "Janet, your pregnant! People are gonna find out!"

"find out what?" Ocean says innocently walking down the stairs. "um... Nothing. Everything's fine" Janet shakes her head. "what's happened?" She asks seeing Janet's nervousness and my annoyance. "nothing. Are you ready to go?" I smile through pursed lips and she nods smiling back the same way. "I just need to get my coat"

"Please don't tell her" Janet asks when Ocean leaves the room. "Ocean has enough going on today already, but me and you are gonna talk properly when we get back ok?" I say in a softer tone and she nods nervously.

**********

Janet's POV

When Michael leaves, I turn to go upstairs and Joseph is standing at the top frowning as he walks down. "you better get your ass upstairs and stay there until I tell you" he says coldly and I not quickly rushing past him to my room.

**********

Ocean's POV

"so what was wrong with Janet?" I ask Michael as we're driving to see my mother. "nothing, she's fine" he mumbles keeping his eyes on the road. "something clearly happened? Did you two get in a fight or something?"

"don't worry about her. Just concentrate on seeing Jessica"

"Michael, I'm stressed enough today. Just tell me. Please don't have me go in there worrying about what's wrong with Janet" he doesn't say anything for a minute then sighs taking a deep breath. "Janet's pregnant"

"she's what!? To who!?" I gasp and he parks the car. "we're here" he says changing the topic. "I didn't even know she had a boyfriend and when did you find out!?" I ask going back to the topic. "she doesn't. It was a boy from school and she told me before we left"

"so why didn't you say? We should go back and..."

"Janet can wait" he cuts me off. "you need to concentrate on this" he says softly and I sigh and nod nervously. "are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" He asks nervously and I nod. "I'm sure. I have to do this" I sigh and he nods. "I'll be here if you need me, I promise" he smiles through pursed lips and pecks my lips.

**

I get to the room and take a deep breath before going in. Still not knowing what the hell I'm going to say or even how I feel at this point "you came!" My mother smiles opening her arms to me and I stand frozen. "I um... I guess your not ready for that yet" she smiles through pursed lips and sits down and at it in the chair opposite. "so... How are the kids"

"their Ok" I mumble. "and the baby 'Princess'? did she recover ok after her surgery?"

"their all fine"

"they must all be getting so big now... I remember when you kids were that young and..."

"why do you hate me so much?" I blurt out cutting her off and she looks at me shocked. "I don't hate you! Your daughter I could never hate you?"

"so why did you treat me so badly and do all the things you've done? What did I do?"

"you didn't do anything" she sighs putting her head down. "it was me I hated.... I hated myself for what I did and the reason I had you. I should have brought you into this world with love and not just for Marissa and I'm so sorry for that" she croaks. "is that all you saw me as? Just spare parts for your daughter?" I ask and She nods wiping away a few tears. "but that doesn't mean I hated you or I didn't love you because I did. I've always loved you. I never let myself grieve for Marissa and when DJ was gone I jus broke down. Which is why I took Princess that day at the hospital. I didn't see my Granddaughter I saw Marissa! My beautiful little girl and it's hard to explain but..."

"I get that you were sick and you had a break down after DJ came back to me and Michael, But that doesn't explain why you took DJ from me and Michael in the first place"

"because I messed everything up with you and your brother and you both hated me and couldn't wait to get away and when I saw Duncan I saw a second chance. A second chance to do things right this time and be a good mother and love him and...."

"I'm his mother and I'm the one that should have been raising him. You say you wanted a second chance, but what about me? Didn't I deserve a first chance? When you took DJ from us it killed us!" I croak. "you and Michael were way too young to try and raise a baby. Surly you see he was better off with me? Your lives went down hill after you had him. And me having him not only gave me a second chance, but it should have been a second chance for you two. You could have gone back to school got good jobs. You two could have done anything you wanted and...."

"are you seriously blaming DJ for our downfalls!? DJ was and is everything to us! And he didn't ruin our lives and he wasn't the cause for our downfalls you were! All that stuff with the drugs and everything else, we didn't do it because we had DJ! We did it to fill that emptiness we had and numb that pain we felt. Because the one person that made our lives perfect and the one person that's kept us going was gone. Because you took him from us and then dangled him in front of us all the time, making us jump through hoops just to see our own son! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your child literally ripped from your arms? Then be held down as they scream and cry for you as their being taken away and there's nothing you can do?" I croak and she doesn't say anything. "and you say you love DJ? Him and Nevaeh had to watch as his parents were dragged away and he screams at night getting flash backs of not only when he was taken from us, but the night me and Michael got taken and every time DJ and Vaeh  sees a dog in the street they cry hysterically, because not only were they forced to see their parents taken, but saw their dogs be killed! Are children are traumised because of you! And you think you would have made a better mother to my children!?"

"I'm sorry" she whispers "sorry? That's it?" I shrug "what did I do to you that was so terrible, that you would hate me so much to put me and my family through hell?"

"nothing. Like I said, I've been ill and I do love you..."

"no you don't. And if you did you never shown it"

"of course I did!" She says widening her eyes and I shake my head. "no you didn't! I didn't even understand what love was until I was away from you. I had to go to therapy to learn not only what love was but even simple emotions that everybody should already know... I came here because I needed to know the truth" I sniffle "why did you hate me so much?" She doesn't say anything for a moment then sighs. "I didn't hate you... I just didn't love you. I tried to I really did, but no matter what I did or how hard you tried, every time I'd look at you all I could think about was that You weren't Marissa.. She gave me so much love and I never got that from you. Even when you were a baby. You'd never want to cuddle with me or cry for me. You didn't love me enough and in return I couldn't love you" I don't say anything and she looks at the ground and start crying. "I did try I really did"

"I'm never gonna be good enough for you am I?" I say shakily and she looks up at me. "I'm sorry. I do want to try again. We can start over an- and get to know each other and...wait!" She says as I get up from my seat. "please don't go. I'm getting help here and..."

"I'm glad your getting help and I hope you get better I really do but..."

"but what? We can have that mother and daughter relationship you always wanted, and when I leave here we can work on it better and..."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that... Not now" I sniffle and walk away closing the door behind me.

*

As soon as I leave the room Michael pulls me into him tightly. "I thought you were gonna wait in the car?" I croak still trying to fight my tears. "you needed me here" he says softly and I break down in his arms.

***********

Janet's POV

"b-but Michael got to keep his baby" I stutter to my mother as Joseph leaves the room to go and answer the phone. "Michael wasn't 13 years old. And he had Ocean" she sighs shaking her head "but Ocean was only 15 and..."

"hasn't their been enough shame and embarrassment brought onto this family?" She cuts me off. "but..."

"but nothing" Joseph cuts me off walking into the room. "that was Michael on the phone" he turns to mother "Thing's didn't go so well with Ocean and her mother, so he's taken her to a hotel for the night so they can have some space"

"I'll let Duncan and Nevaeh know,they'll be back in the morning, so they don't worry" mother says to him "their really going through alot of stress right now" I mumble and mother turns to me. "we're not doing this to spite you. It's for the best for everybody"

"but what of they don't..."

"they will" Joseph cuts me off. And mother sits beside me and places her hand on my shoulder. "Michael and Ocean are married and are in a stable place. And you've seen how happy and well cared got their own children are and so will yours" she says softly "but what if they say no?"

"they won't say no. Not if you say to Michael exactly what told you to say" Joseph says. And I nod trying not to cry again