Shit. This was going to get awkward very fast. Nikita racked his brain on what to say, but Lev was just staring at him. His eyes seemed focused like he was thinking about something. He had completely blanked out. He snapped out of it the next second and he was clearly looking at him, very aware of the position they were in.

Nikita let go of him first and instantly Lev went back to his side of the couch. "Sorry."

"Yeah. I'm not suited for gaming after all." Nikita got up and ran straight upstairs passing Aleksei on the stairs.

"I guess you lost that game as well." He said.

"You have no idea." Nikita yelled out and slammed the door to his room with a bang.

Aleksei sat down on the couch picking up the console.

"Let's play something else."

"Mm sure." Lev got up to choose another game.

Outside the rain was still ongoing. They could hear it as the room was pretty quiet while they gamed.

"Aleksei.." Lev skipped over an obstacle in the game.

"mM?" Aleksei was switching gears trying to stay alive.

"How often do you think about sex?"

Aleksei was focused on the game, using his weapons to shoot down the enemy. "Just this morning or the whole day in general?"

"Never mind. Who does it usually involve?" Lev changed the weapons as well, slaying the large monster approaching them.

"Like you don't know. " Aleksei leaned his elbows over his knee in deep focus to win. "It's always Tai. In my car, in the shower, on that counter. In my head, I've had her bent and twisted in every position I could come up with."

"Do you ever think about guys?" Lev asked.

Aleksei jumped over the hurdle in the game and then hid his character behind a rock, his eyes still focused on the screen. "No. Do you?"

Lev kept playing the game in silence.

After the initial shock of the question, Aleksei looked at Lev waiting for an answer. After he didn't receive one, he continued playing the game. "So can I at least ask who it is that you think about?"

Lev didn't answer that either. He kept moving his character, eyes glued on the screen.

Aleksei bit his lower lips conflicted if he should even say it.

"Is it Nikita?"

And just like that Lev died in the game before Aleksei, for the first time since they played together. Lev tossed the console on the coffee table and leaned his body over his knees looking down. He covered his head with his hands.

"Am I gay and didn't know until now?"

Aleksei paused the game. "Well, you were with girls until now so I'd say that makes you Bi."

Lev couldn't bring himself to look up.

"So do you like him..or is it purely sexual?" Aleksei asked.

"I don't know yet." Lev reached for the back of his head untying the hair tie and ruffling his hair.

"Well.." Aleksei leaned on the couch and placed his feet on the coffee table. "When I think about my Tai in general I want to hold her close, tease her, take her on dates and think about how she laughs at my wittiness. How she react when I do something for her. Like I'd romanticize the shit out of her. Do you get me? That's the general feeling. "

"Fuck."

Aleksei tapped his back supportively. "Welcome to the crush zone, where we obsess and they live their best life not knowing shit about it."

Lev swung his head back up with a serious expression on his face. "I already hate it."

"Well look on the bright side. At least you live with him and can go into his room and seduce him and have gay sex."

Lev slammed a pillow in his face.

"Ouch-" Aleksei pushed the pillow down finishing his sentence. "I'm just saying, you have more options."

Lev shook his head disappointed, but he was relieved. He was happy to know Aleksei was still a friend in any situation.

***

Tai was on the verge of losing her mind. After the exams were over she went back to the initial problem she had. Getting certain someone out of her mind. She had redone her room, more times than necessary, went through all her clothes, contemplated her whole life, and then decided enough was enough.

The more she was thinking about him, the more she was giving him what he wanted. It started with a pinch of curiosity but then she was sucked into his world with seductive words, pretty eyes, and got addicted after that one kiss.

After numerous attempts to warn herself not to do this to herself, she kept thinking about him. And fuck it. She missed him. Maybe she should give this a shot after all?

Grabbing her boots, she went out and headed towards the stables. The school provided many after-school activities including horse riding, though it was too rainy to ride her horse, she decided she could at least spend some time taking care of it. As she was leaving her villa, she heard her name being called out.

Zakhar ran over to her under her umbrella, his hoodie soaked. "Hey. Are you heading to our place?"

"No. I'm going to the stables." Tai answered. "Why are you here?"

"I was at Arya's place. Never mind. Thanks for the cover." With that, he ran off down the street again heading to the boy's villa.

A soft smile spread on Tai's face. Poor guy. The things you do for love. Who'd want to be out in this weather?

Getting to her horse, Ava, the most beautiful chestnut brown Freiberger with a little white spot over its forehead, Tai already felt better. If the weather was better, she would have ridden her heart out, but even taking her off the horse brought her peace. She was going to miss her once she graduates. She brushed the horse, saying lovely words to it.

"Were you lonely without me these days Ava?" She chuckled.

The house gave her a head nod making Tai laugh. "Mm, I see. Should I sing something to you? Will you forgive me then?"

Not wasting a breath more, Tai started singing "Where's my love" a french version of the song by Lily Kershaw, she found comfort in listening.

The rain was pouring outside, creating a nice calming ambiance in the quiet. Her voice was quiet as she sang, but it carried a soft melodramatic feel. She gave the horse a slight kiss and then walked over grabbing an apple slice and feeding it to the horse. Giving it some attention and love, and taking care of it was more therapeutic to Tai than to the horse.

 The song turned into soft humming and she was completely immersed in it, she almost missed the slight squeak of one of the stable's doors, but when she glanced at it there was no one there.

Thinking it was only the wind, she continued brushing her horse. However, the horse started fretting nervously.

"What is it?" She glanced around to see if the horse was in any discomfort.

When she saw there was nothing wrong with the horse, she started looking around the stables. There was no one in it but her. Nervously she glanced around the stable, feeling the panic rise in her chest.

She was panicking over nothing, she told herself. What could startle the horse that much other than a shadow or a sound they couldn't recognize. Maybe Ava was feeling stressed over the weather? Was a big storm coming in? She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat and took a deep breath to calm down her heart. Freaking out like this wasn't helping the horse calm down.

Suddenly the horse let out a loud noise.

Tai turned towards the horse to calm her down and in a split second there was a shadow in the corner of her eye and then it disappeared through the doors of the stables.

Tai couldn't believe what she had just seen. Was there someone hiding in here and just ran out? Even if it was someone from the students they wouldn't just sneak up like that? Rationality was no longer helping her.

She placed the brush down and headed towards the exit of the stables taking nervous steps forward.

 Who ever was there, just left right? As she took one more step, almost reaching the exit, a figure showed up in front of her and she stumbled backward nervously gasping. Then the face features cleared up and she saw it was Aleksei. Her knees felt weak so she squatted down covering her head and sighing in relief.

"You okay?" He looked down at her confused. The edges of his hair were wet dripping over his already wet jacket.

After calming down for a second, she rose and headed toward him. "Did you see anyone just now? Leaving the stable?"

Aleksei stared at her confused. "I think someone passed me by but I didn't see who it was."

"Oh god, so there was someone here." Tai touched her chest. "It's a freaking horror movie. I almost died? Did I almost die? I can't believe this is happening.."

"Whoa whoa." Aleksei grabbed her shoulders. " What do you mean by that? Did someone try to hurt you?"

"It was so scary. Straight out of a thriller. I was alone with my horse and then in the silence, Ava just started making noise.." Tai was rumbling on.

"Ava?" Aleksei tried to keep up.

"The horse."Tai clarified."She was fine and then she was nervous and when I turned around it was like someone ran out of the stables." Tai pushed her hair back. " I know it's not you who startled her because look at her now, she's fine and horses are pretty sensitive so maybe she sensed someone else and..."

"Okay, okay." Aleksei rubbed her shoulders. "You're okay now." He cupped her face. "So just breathe."

She took a deep breath looking into his eyes. They were clear and convincing. She could trust him on this.

Taking another breath and closed her eyes and then reached for his hands pulling them down slowly. "I'm fine now. I just panicked for a second."

Aleksei let his arms fall by his torso. Seeing her so panicked and scared, awoke a need to protect her. It wasn't the usual jealousy or childish possessiveness, it was a dire need to calm her down and hold her. It was hard enough holding back from hugging her when he was sure he could wipe away all her worries with a hug. She went back to her horse, to make sure Ava was alright. A few strokes and the horse was back to normal. She fed it another slice of apple.

"How did you know I was here?" Tai asked him.

Once her panic was gone, another kind of nervousness arose in her chest. Now she was in the same space, along with the person she couldn't stop thinking about.

"Zakhar told me that he saw you and that you were heading to the stables," Aleksei answered the question and took a few steps closer, observing her. Has she calmed down?

"I understand that but.." The fear of asking this question burned in the back of her mind. "Why are you here? Why did you come?"

"You know the answer to that." He shoved his hands in his pockets looking outside at the rain.

He only needed to hear it once, and his feet carried him here. There was no logic or rationality in his decision. He didn't even try to talk himself out of it at this point.

When she didn't say anything, he walked over to the horse. "How long have you liked horses?"

Tai smiled, grateful he changed the topic. "Since I was 12. Before that, I was deadly scared of all animals. I cried when my dad put me on one. I would weep crocodile tears. I couldn't even hold a kitten because I was scared it would scratch me. But then I faced my fears and eventually got used to them. They were no longer scary."

He smiled. That was utterly cute. "And do you have pets now?"

"Don't get me started. Cats, dogs, horses."

"I've never even climbed on a horse. No one in my family is interested in it." Aleksei answered.

"Well.." Tai turned towards him. "Wanna pet her?"

Aleksei turned towards the horse. "Are you sure she won't mind it?"

"She's friendly." Tai raised her hand and stroked the horse. "See, like this."

Following her movement, Aleksei petted the horse. It seemed to enjoy all the attention.

Taking the brush and the bucket she used earlier she went to wash them on the little faucet sink in the stable. He was here to see her. He was putting her on the spot to make the decision, while she was still losing her mind over what to do. Scrubbing her hands with the soap, she didn't hear him approach her.

Once she saw him she shoved the soap in his hands.

"Here." She washed her hands in a hurry and then carried Ava back into her stall, closing the door and heading towards the exit. The rain was still pouring, so in the split second while she contemplated where she left her umbrella, Aleksei caught up to her.

"Are you running away again?" He asked her.

"I don't run. I avoid." She said it knowing exactly how stupid it sounded. She just couldn't face him.

He walked over to her. "Tai look at me for a second."

She placed her brave face on and turned towards him. It was futile when he looked at her with that intensity.

He took one more step toward her, but she glued herself to the door of the stable to keep him out of her personal space. Taking one decisive step towards her, he trapped her between his arms. Her chest was moving up and down, she was nervous and was desperate to hide it. She was avoiding eye contact, but would subtly glance at his eyes, unable to hold back her feelings.

Aleksei cursed himself. His whole point was to talk to her today instead he had her under him, looking like prey.

Her back was pressed on the door, she had nowhere to run. She could only face him. She took a deep breath and raised her hands on his chest. He was solid as a rock. She couldn't move him an inch.

He looked down at her lips. "Scared I might kiss you?"

No. She had been scared she was going to kiss him. She nudged him again wondering if he could feel her pulse and how fast her heart raced. Even her face was getting hot. He still hadn't moved.

"Please.." She grabbed his shirt, squeezed her fist, and looked up at him. She was barely holding back herself. "Just move."

He cupped her face with both his hands and tilted his head slightly brushing his lips over hers. It was a slow, light feathery kiss that was meant to last a second. He would only steal a small kiss.

Tai released her grip over his shirt and wrapped her arms around his waist. The moment he had kissed her, her self-restraint was gone.

She really wanted him. She knew so many things about him and instead of fear, the only thing she felt was desire. It didn't matter who he was, only that he had his mouth on hers. It ignited all the arousal she repressed all these weeks. She kissed him back, deepening the kiss and she pulled him closer to her pressing her fingertips on his back.

*puts on bulletproof vest*  OKay. I'm ready now.