In the end I decided to wait on breakfast. Ivy's comment about Minna feeling better if she got to feed me stuck with me. I wasn't that hungry yet - it was later in the day than I normally had breakfast at, but it had also been much later in the evening when I had finally eaten dinner - so I told myself I just wasn't ready to eat.

But deep down a part of me wanted to fix things with Minna. I didn't like the idea that she was upset.

Which only bothered me more.

The heat lamp had been turned back on, and my den looked comfortable... but... neither of them felt right. I spent a few minutes trying to get comfortable in my den, but I kept glancing back towards the couch.

Years of living on my own with Susie had put a habit in me. When she was resting out in the open, I was always there. Nothing would ever sneak up on her. And things had tried - more than one creature in the park had scratches on its face that matched my claws.

Now it seemed that the habit to be around and protect Susie had transferred itself over to Minna. It just felt wrong to be too far away while she was asleep.

I climbed back up onto the back of the couch and stretched out along it. Just like I had time and again on low branches when Susie had been resting.

The sound of rain grew lighter as the day wore on, but it was still a constant in the background, and I felt an urge to fly in it. Seeing Ivy fly had reminded me of the sorry state of my wings and of how long I had been stuck on the ground. It would be so nice to just glide through the air again and lose myself in wind and sun, and not have to worry about any of this...

Minna stirred after about three hours of sleep. She yawned, then lifted her arms over her head and stretched out. She held that pose for a few seconds, then relaxed and pulled her hands back in.

How many times had I woken up in that exact same way back when I had been human?

I chirped down at her. "Good morning."

She blinked a few times and looked down towards her stomach, then glanced up at me. "Oh. Hi..." She seemed suddenly nervous, like she wasn't sure what to say or do around me.

I watched her for a moment... then my stomach rumbled. She winced at the sound. "I owe you a few meals. Come on... let's get you something to eat."

She sat up on the couch and started to stand. I think she thought I would follow along on the ground, but before she could stand all the way I hopped the short distance to land on her shoulder.

It was just easier to ride on her shoulder than to navigate the bits of wood that covered the carpet.

Or at least that's what I tried to tell myself.

"Minna's awake." I nibbled on the piece of apple I had been handed. "We're finishing up breakfast now."

"Okay. Trenil will call over in a few minutes, then we'll head up."

"Why not just come right up?" Minna handed me another apple slice and went back to her own meal - we were at the table, and she was trying to eat in between handing me food. I think she had picked apples for my breakfast so she would have time to eat her own food in between passing me slices.

"Trenil's supposed to think she's asleep. It'd be a little weird if he just showed up as soon as she woke up; that kind of timing is a bit too much to be coincidence. Best to leave her explanations other than 'the strange alien lizard is spying on me'. Trenil called her a few times already, so she'll see missed calls and know it wasn't a coincidence he called again."

I chewed on the apple slice. Okay, that made sense, but... this was all so much to worry about. "I'm not an alien."

Ivy's tone shifted to one of light amusement. "You are to them."

I sent the entirely too smug green dragonet an image of myself rolling my eyes, then went back to my meal. I glanced towards the plate on the table that held Minna's meal. It was something resembling a pancake, though it was the wrong color and smelled strange.

Minna noticed my interest and slowed down in her eating to watch me. She dug through the bowl of fruit again and this time produced a grape; she smiled at me and started to hold it up... but at the last second she brought the grape to her mouth and ate it instead.

My ears drooped. That had been how she had started things yesterday, by pretending to eat the shia fruit. Oh, no, is this about to turn into another training session...

Her playful smile melted into a concerned frown. After a few seconds she looked down at her plate and continued eating. She passed me another apple slice when I finished the one I had.

A few minutes later I perked my ears as I heard a faint chime come from the living room. Minna looked up after me, then flinched. "Oh... oh, I forgot about Trenil!"

She quickly rose out of her chair. I squawked in surprise at the sudden movement and tried to catch myself, dropping the apple as I fell back down to all fours. She winced again and brought her hand up to steady me. "Sorry... that's going to take some getting used to."

Minna grabbed the container of fruit with her free hand and moved us back into the living room. She sat down on the couch and passed me a new slice of apple, then tapped a button on the device sitting on the coffee table. "Trenil, I'm really sorry; I'm awake now, and he is too, if you would like to come back up?"

"I'm on the way." A 'bonk' sound came from the device's speaker as Trenil hung up. I fidgeted nervously on Minna's shoulder. Trenil sounded angry with Minna.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Minna slipped me a few more apple slices until another soft chime filled the room. "Come in." The door opened with its usual 'ding' sound and Trenil stepped in.

The Kymari had obviously been out in the rain for a while. His hair and clothes were wet, though I noticed that for some reason the left side of him was much wetter. He was practically scowling, an expression I couldn't remember ever seeing on a Kymari before. It was a little disconcerting. He glanced around the room once before he spotted me on Minna's shoulder... then his annoyed gaze settled back on her.

Ivy sat on his left shoulder and shook off as soon as she was out of the rain, sending water flying everywhere... much of which landed on Trenil. Well. That explains why that side of him is so much wetter.

Trenil reached up and unclipped the harness from around Ivy's back. "Go on." The green dragonet spread out her wings and glided over to perch a short distance away from me on the back of the couch.

"Come on." She chirped at me, then glanced towards the side of the room where the heat lamp was quietly humming above its end table. "The grown ups need to have a conversation."

I hesitated on Minna's shoulder and glanced back at Trenil. I knew he wasn't going to hurt her, but everything about his posture and expression gave off annoyance. It felt too much like exposing Minna to a threat.

Which just made me more upset inside. I shouldn't even care, even if she really does get threatened.

I curled my tail a little in nervousness and chirped back at Ivy. "Are you sure?"

Ivy jumped up and glided the short distance from the couch to the bowl of sand. I instantly felt jealous - the red light shone over her scales and reminded me of how good it would feel to just soak up all that warmth. I was still cold from yesterday.

Ivy glanced back at me, then bent back to scratch at a part of her back the harness had covered. "She'll be fine."

I hated that she could tell what I had really been wondering.

I glanced between the two Kymari again... then hopped down from Minna's shoulder. It was a short trip through the splinter-covered carpet, then I sprawled out in the sand.

The sand was pleasantly hot under me, and the heat coming off the lamp was even stronger than it usually was. Trenil must have upped the temperature for me when he had turned it back on. I wiggled a bit in the sand, burrowing down until the warmth was pressed against my belly and sides, and relaxed in the strong warmth.

Ivy waited until I had gotten comfortable, then she squeezed in beside me. The bowl wasn't really big enough for the two of us, but we made it work.

Trenil watched us for a minute, then looked back at Minna. "Let's talk in the kitchen. I don't want to disturb them."

It hadn't been a question.

Minna looked shocked at his suggestion and glanced back at us. I knew she wouldn't be happy at being ordered about in her own home... but she was still obviously guilty about yesterday, and I knew she wouldn't want to risk anything that would make things worse.

She nodded after a moment, and the two walked off to the kitchen.

I stared across the room at the dead plant and tried to figure out if I hoped Trenil would go easy on Minna or not.

"-cannot force him like that, he needs time-"

"-was comfortable with me; he came up on my shoulder, the same way Ivy does-"

"-does not mean he has become comfortable, just that he is starting to be! I gave you that schedule for a reason-"

"-only two weeks left, I was worried it wouldn't be enough time-"

"-most important thing is patience; training was not supposed to be for another month! You cannot rush this with-"

"-don't then he could die; that's not something I can accept anymore!"

"-that is not the way to do it! Think how your parents dealt with you, would they have ever made you starve unless you did a trick for them?!"

"-not a Kymari! It's not the same-"

"-needs the same love and the same respect you would give one! He is not a doll that you can make dance on command; he is a fully grown, independent creature who has been used to meeting every one of his own needs, and the needs of another creature on top of that, for years! You cannot starve him and force him into obeying you. He is going to be your bond companion, Minna, and that means you have to treat him like one!"

"Please make him stop..." The shouting from the kitchen was too much. What little snippets I was hearing of Minna were sounding more and more distressed... and as much as I wished it wasn't, it was upsetting me.

Ivy gently nudged at my side with her head. A couple seconds passed in silence.

"Sorry." Trenil's voice was calmer, and seemed slightly closer. He must have moved into the dining room, or at least into the doorway between it and the kitchen. "You can't do that to him. You get that, right?"

"Yeah..." Minna's voice was also a little closer and still sounded upset, but it wasn't as defensive anymore. "He just seems... empty. It's little things. He doesn't scratch at me when I pet him too much, but I can still feel him tensing up; he keeps coming up on my shoulder, but then he just kind of scrunches in on himself like he's too scared to do more than look around. I even stole food from him and he didn't yell at me or anything. Which should all be good things, but... it's like I've killed him inside. All his personality is gone."

Trenil sighed from wherever he was. Their voices had gotten much clearer - maybe they had moved into the dining room, and sat down at the table? "Not gone, just... hiding. You pushed him too far. He is starting to become attached to you, I could tell even by the little I've seen so far, but... you frightened him. He was beginning to trust that you would provide for him and love him unconditionally, and you suddenly put conditions on it. The part of him that wants to scratch at you or run away is all still there, but he doesn't know that he can do those things. Part of him is wanting to like you, but other parts of him aren't ready to do that yet, and you scared him into hiding those parts. It might look like an improvement on the surface, but it's not a real improvement. You can tell."

"You make it sound like he's a Kymari."

"Minna... it might be better if you start to think of him as one. These are truly amazing creatures; they are not as simple as most other beasts. In a lot of ways they are like Kymari children. I've seen how curious Ivy can get, and I've seen how happy she can get. But being capable of that means she is just as capable of being confused, and just as capable of being hurt. Things that will confuse and hurt you will confuse and hurt him, and a lot of times you'll find they react to problems in ways very similar to the way we would react to them. You did something he did not expect and you frightened him, so now he is confused and scared, just like you would be. He needs time to adjust. To get his feet back underneath him. Just like you would."

There was silence while Minna let that sink in. "Can he?"

"I don't know. It might be that he just buries everything and waits you out, and that when you release him he'll just fly away and never look back."

Minna was quiet for a moment before she spoke softly. "What if I don't release him?"

I felt a sudden terror wash over me. I had been counting on being released in just a few days. If she... if she decided to keep me trapped, would I be able to stop her?

And more frightening to think about... would I want to?

Ivy nudged softly against me with her head. I felt a bit of relief. That's right... Trenil wouldn't let Minna do that. The Kymari that knew about us wouldn't sit back and do nothing while someone kept us against our will.

"That isn't an option for you, Minna." Trenil's voice was almost as quiet as Minna's had been. "Not with him. You know that won't be accepted. Elder Naishi gave specific instructions that he be released once he is better. She hopes he will decide to stay with you, but she was still very clear on that point."

There was another pause, and I felt sympathy enter his voice. "And even if you tried, it wouldn't work. You cannot force this on them. All you can do is offer it to them. If you trap them like that, if you keep an unwilling fire lizard and try to make it like you... then it never truly will. You won't ever have a bond companion. At best you will end up with a scared animal who obeys you out of fear of what you will do to it. And what you are more likely to have is a creature you can never really trust, and who is too desperate to escape to ever trust or love you. Is that what you want?"

"No." My ear tufts fell at the sadness and fear in that simple word from Minna.

"You have to release him. And he has to want to stay with you. He has to come back."

"What do I need to do so that he will?" Minna sounded sad. I understood why - that part of me that was growing to like Minna didn't like the idea of separating from her. She couldn't like it any more than I did.

But Trenil was right, too. The part of me that was sad at the idea was very, very scary to the rest of me. Escaping felt like a very good idea, even though I knew it would hurt Minna.

Which made me sad to think about.

Which scared me even more.

Another heavy sigh. "There isn't really anything you can do, Minna. You can make things easier for him, but this is ultimately going to be up to him. He's been pushed too far, too fast, and you took things from him that he wasn't ready to trust you with by doing things to him that he was starting to trust you would never do. Now he's going to hold onto everything he has left even harder to protect it."

Trenil hesitated as if trying to find the right words. "A wounded animal hides in its den to protect itself. That's what he's doing now. If you try and go in after him, if you try and force him out, you'll only hurt him worse. The only thing he'll have left will be the decision to accept you or not. He'll bury that so far down that you'll never get to it, no matter what surface gains you make, and he'll make that decision against you just because you didn't allow him to do anything else.

"You have to trust him. The way he had been starting to trust you; you have to fix what's been hurt in him by giving him some of your own. He's got to be the one to come out. He's got to come to you."

"But what if..." Minna's voice cracked. "What if he doesn't? What if when he's better, and we go to release him... he just flies off, and that's the last time I see him again? At the start of this I didn't care if he did, and I was certain he would, but now... what if after all this, he leaves?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Even just thinking about that...

"Then you let him go. You remember that he's alive because of you, and that you helped him, and you cherish the time you had, and you go back to being the best shuttle pilot in the universe with a glowing recommendation from every Elder on this planet for what you tried to do for us. Because that could happen, Minna; there's a very real chance that at the end of this, that is what he will do. Just like there was that same chance when I took Ivy back to the park the first time, or when Tasha escaped, or when Alec let Tom and Serena fly off-leash for the first time, and like could happen for every other fire lizard handler after us. Tasha could have fled to her home in the park and never come back. Tom and Serena could have kept each other from bonding with Alec and left to work on a nest instead. Ivy could have rejoined her friends in the wild flock and never come back to me again."

"Yours may have been on his own for too long, and may not be able to ever accept anyone at all. There's so much about them we don't know, and it'll always be a possibility that one will reject us." There was a sympathy and sadness in Trenil's voice, and he paused. I heard the faint sound of movement, as if Trenil had just reached over to put his hand on Minna's shoulder.

Or maybe I just really hoped he had comforted her after that.

"But you have to let him reach that point, and you have to let him make that ultimate decision. You can encourage it and help him, but you can't threaten or force it. Because if you try that, if you don't let him decide to stay with you, if he doesn't want to stay with you... then you'll have no chance at all of seeing him turn and fly back to you."

"You won't ever know what Taureen knew when Tasha found him again, or what Alec knew when he called for Tom and Serena and they flew back to him. You won't know what I knew when Ivy settled back on my shoulder after flying with the flock. You won't ever have that with him. You'll never really have a bond companion - you'll just have a frightened animal that's terrified of crossing you."

The two Kymari went silent for a long moment.

"Were you and Trenil like this?" I kept my eyes closed, still not trusting that they were dry. There was just too much raw emotion everywhere, both in me and in Minna's voice.

"I didn't think so." Ivy's voice sounded sad. "He never said anything to me about it, but..." Ivy paused, and a bit of hurt entered her voice. "A lot of what he said just now sounded personal. Like things he had to tell to himself. I never really thought that he could have been just as worried that I wouldn't want to stay with him."

I felt more sympathy towards her, just like I had the day she had been fired. I wasn't quite sure what to say, or how I felt about Minna's worry. "Minna is very worried about that, isn't she."

"Hm?" I felt a tickling against my neck as Ivy's ear tufts perked in surprise, then fell again. "Oh. Yes, she is." There was a distracted quality to her voice, as if she had been thinking of someone else instead. It was replaced with sympathy as she nudged her head against me once more. "This bond works both ways. The more attached we feel to them, the more attached they feel to us. She can't help but be."

I frowned. Ivy... had been comparing Trenil's feelings to Minna's when she had mentioned him being just as worried, hadn't she? Who else could she have meant by that?

I didn't really have the energy to puzzle that out. We all sat in silence for a little longer.

Minna's voice was just barely audible over the pitter patter of the rain on the window when she spoke again. "What can I do to help him? Help him get better, I mean? Feel safe?"

"I'm not sure. There aren't exactly any notes from another handler about this type of situation." Trenil was quiet for a moment while he thought. "Show him you trust him. Show him he's safe. Let him decide a few things, and let him know he won't starve or be cold if he decides in ways you don't necessarily want. Be patient, and wait for him to come back to you."

"How do I do that?"

There was more silence for a time. I cracked open one eye enough to make out an unfocused look in Ivy's expression. Great. She's giving Trenil suggestions. Has that ever ended well?

"Give him back his food. He's comfortable with you around so you don't need to push him to get over a fear of you physically hurting him. Put some fruit out in the morning and evening, and make sure it's always there no matter what, and give him the option to come to you to be fed with his favorites instead if he wants. Same with baths; put out some water for him to manage with, but bring out the scrubbing pads and the water from time to time and give him the option to come to you if he wants it. Show him that he can trust you again, if he wants to."

Minna's voice sounded dejected. "And if he never does... be okay with that."

"No. Accept it. I don't think it is possible to really be okay with it. But let him be the one to decide it."