Okay. That may have been a mistake.

The next day was nothing but misery.

To kick the day off, a storm moved in sometime during the night. I woke up to greet the sun... and saw nothing but dark clouds and heavy rain through the window. Instead of the rejuvenating excitement of the Morning Song, I was left feeling grumpy and cheated, like a kid who had woken up to find snow all around but was told they still had to go to school.

To add insult to injury, my decision to approach and sit on her shoulder had apparently triggered a decision for Minna. Up until that point she had been following Trenil's instructions and working with me, but she always gave me the impression it was an obligation for her, and that she didn't truly expect it to work. She didn't seem like she would be too put out if I returned to the forest once I was better; sometimes it even felt like that was what she ultimately wanted me to do. She wanted me to get better, but hadn't really been particular on what might happen after that.

But now...

Now she had a determination about her. She wanted me to stay. And she seemed to believe that she could get me to, if she tried hard enough. It wasn't enough for me to heal up and then go, it wasn't enough to make a token effort to satisfy the Elder's request, or to soothe her own guilt. It wasn't enough to make an offer to stay that she expected me to reject.

Now she was actually putting her heart into it.

It started with breakfast. It wasn't good enough for me to just sit on her leg to eat anymore. Now that she knew I could tolerate sitting on her shoulder, she simply refused to hand over the pineapple ring until I was perched there. We fought for a good half of an hour over the piece of fruit before I finally gave in to hunger and perched on the extreme edge of her shoulder. Her shirt seemed to have more padding than I had expected, and I was able to vent some of my growing frustration by digging my claws into the fabric.

But then, because that wasn't humiliating enough, she decided to pet me through the meal, too.

I had thought that we were finally done with that now that she was able to get away with touching me at other times, but apparently Minna had gotten other ideas. So before I could enjoy my reward for sitting on her shoulder, her hand reached up and started stroking over my back. It was hard enough to eat with the nervousness that came from being right there on her shoulder, and the random pressure and nudges from her hand on top of that made it impossible to enjoy the food.

I tried carrying the food away from her to eat, but that was now a huge no-no, and she snatched the pineapple back from me the second I hopped off her shoulder. No amount of squawking or angry hops could convince her to give it back.

It was well over an hour after we had actually started breakfast that I managed to sink my teeth into actual food. The only consolation I had was that at least she hadn't gotten to eat yet, either.

When I had finished the pineapple I was given a raspberry, then a slice of apple. By that point her petting was simply too much, and I hissed to make her stop... but apparently that was against the rules, too. The petting continued, albeit at a more gentle and slow pace, but no new piece of fruit was offered.

Hissing louder and jumping frantically about had no impact on the lack of food being offered, either.

It was only when I stopped hissing that another slice of food appeared... and Minna's strokes along my back returned to their normal pace along with it.

I made it through a few more bites before it got to be too much, and we fell into a pattern as the process repeated itself. Her petting slowed when I grew frustrated and hissed at her, but it never stopped, and the meal wouldn't continue until I had relaxed enough to stop hissing.

Eventually it got to the point where Minna would seem to know it was becoming too much for me and would slow down her petting just before I began to hiss at her. The meal continued as long as I wasn't actively making a fuss, but the idea that she was somehow reading me and sensing my frustration well enough to change her rhythm before I actively told her to stop was somehow even more disturbing to me than the petting itself.

She had mapped out my comfort limits and was steadily pushing me past them. And there wasn't a thing I could do to stop her without going hungry. And I wasn't even sure that would stop her.

The meal was incredibly frustrating. Eventually I had eaten enough that my annoyance outweighed my hunger, and even the promise of the sunburst berry waiting for me wasn't enough to convince me to stay. With roughly half of the meal still left to go I gave up and fled to the bowl of warm sand. The steady warmth of the heat lamp helped calm me down a little.

But that had just been breakfast.

Minna let me rest in the sand for about an hour, during which she ate her own breakfast... and then she casually turned the heat lamp off.

I hadn't even realized the thing had an off switch before that point.

I hissed grumpily and squawked at her to turn it back on - which only resulted in her petting me a few times before she went back to the couch. She then held up a slice of a shia fruit, of all things, and made a show of getting ready to eat it herself.

The bowl of sand was still wobbling from my jump out of it when I landed on the couch beside her.

Minna didn't seem surprised by my speed and simply hid the blue sliver in her hand. She slipped a glove made of some thick leathery material onto her other hand and made a fist with it. We watched each other for a second or two, then she spoke the command, "To fist".

I hissed back at her - I remembered Trenil using that phrase when he wanted Ivy to fly to his hand, and no way was I going to let her teach me tricks of all things. That only resulted in more pets, a repetition of the command "To fist," and the showing off of the shia fruit.

I hissed at her again just on general principle, then returned to the end table to sulk in the cooling sand.

Which led to her following after me to make sure I got a few more strokes from her hand. I was rapidly getting the impression that any hissing from me would result in a petting session from her.

She taunted me with the fruit for the rest of the day while I glared at her from the cooling sand. Lunchtime finally arrived and I waited for her to go get the smaller lunch portion of fruits for me... but she just kept watching a show on the screen.

I waited a little bit in case I had misjudged the time - I hadn't eaten a full meal in the morning, so it might have just been a case of being hungry early - but eventually my stomach was growling so loudly that I was worried Minna would mistake it for hissing and come pet me. I slunk back onto the couch and let out a creel for food.

She looked calmly down at me for a long moment... then held her gloved hand up in a fist and said, "To fist."

I skipped lunch and hid in my den.

I was too hungry and grumpy to properly sleep, but it was at least warm under the blanket. Plus she couldn't pet me there when I hissed at her. Which I did for the next several hours straight.

Dinner finally came around, and my stomach demanded I eat something. I emerged from the box that served as my den and scurried into the kitchen. I knew I still couldn't jump up onto the counters, but I had to do something to make my stomach shut up. And even though I didn't think of Minna as a monster anymore, that didn't mean I was going to just do tricks for her amusement.

I slipped into the kitchen and hissed in sheer anger at what I saw.

Minna had put two of those blasted dragonet-proof containers on the floor of the kitchen. Right smack in the middle of the room, where it would be impossible for me to miss them. One held what was clearly a lunch portion of food, while the other held what was clearly a dinner sized meal. And another sliver of shia fruit rested just underneath the lid of each clear container.

I heard Minna walk up behind me... and sure enough, she crouched down and stroked her hand along my back.

She slowly stroked my back until I stopped hissing. Then she stood up, put one hand into a fist, and said, "To fist." Her other hand made a show of covering the first, clearly illustrating that she wanted me to jump up on her hand.

I kept from growling at her, but only barely.

I ran back into the living room and attacked the scratching log she had left by the couch. Up to that point I had just scratched at the rough surface a few times a day just to keep my claws in shape, but now I was angry. I didn't want to bite or scratch Minna - and with how frustrated I was I should have wanted to, which was even more frustrating - and it seemed like I wasn't even allowed to hiss anymore. I really, really needed to rip something apart.

The log survived for all of two minutes.

Chunks and splinters covered the living room floor. A few had flown up onto the couch itself. Minna actually looked a little worried by the destruction I had just unleashed, but other than that she seemed to be pretending nothing had happened. We met each other's gaze for a long moment... then she lifted up her hand again. "To fist."

Stuff your blasted fist! I threw a tiny chunk of wood that remained from the log at her. Take your fist, and your stupid claw proof containers, and your stupid door I can't open, and your stupid cast that's keeping me here, and stuff them all!

I don't think she had expected that. The chunk bounced harmlessly off her arm, but her expression looked surprised.

I spent the next two hours chewing uselessly on the chunks of wood lying scattered across the carpet... but by that point I was starving. I had gone through stretches without eating before, but those had always been when I had been healthy and inactive. Depressed. Now that my body was doing its best to heal, and now that I was worked up and angry... I needed food. My stomach was convinced I had not eaten in months, and had twisted itself into knots in what I could only assume was a desperate attempt to wring out a few missed crumbs from some forgotten corner. It was growling out an angry demand that I give it something substantive, anything that actually counted as actual food, and it had reached a volume that made me concerned Minna would mistake it for me growling at her.

I was grumpy from not getting to sing that morning. I was cold from not having any warmth from the heat lamp. I was angry with being put through all this. And I desperately needed to eat!

And it didn't really matter if I let her try and teach me tricks, did it? As soon as I was back out in the forest, I could forget every last one of them. If anything this was simply a form of rent. She was letting me stay here and eat her food while I recovered, so I could do a few easy tasks for her by way of payment.

I didn't believe that, but it made me feel better to pretend that was all I was doing. Because far, far too large a part of me was urging me to do it just because I knew it would make her happy. And that bothered me. It was much easier to pretend I was just being practical.

And I didn't really care why I was doing it anymore. I just needed food.

I hopped up on the couch and glared up at her. She put the glove onto her hand and made a fist with it... then calmly looked down at me and said, "To fist."

I waited several long seconds just because... then hunger overrode my stubbornness, and I hopped up onto her arm. It was hard to keep my balance without being able to spread my wings, so I leaned my chest against the back of her hand and dug my claws into the glove to keep me steady. After a half second of hesitation I curled my tail around her arm, too.

"Good boy!" She smiled widely at me and brought her other hand over.

My ear tufts rose in spite of myself as I felt a sick sense of actual pride fill me from her tone. This is so humiliating... Just get the pets over with and let me have some food, please...

I had been sure she was bringing her hand over to pet me, but at the last second she turned it palm-side up before me. A sliver of shia fruit rested there.

The small slice vanished in a heartbeat. It was delicious... but not nearly enough to make a dent in my hunger. I was still starving.

I started to jump down from her hand, but she lifted it up into the air and stood up. She brought me towards her shoulder, then said "Up." Her other hand came up and rested on her shoulder by way of demonstration.

A hiss started to form in my throat, but I quashed it at the last second. Fine... more stupid tricks. I jumped on to her shoulder. Then, just because, I dug my claws into her shirt again. I doubted she noticed any more than when I had tried to dig my claws into her shoulder back during breakfast, though.

Even the little things about this day were stupid.

Her hand came up to pet me while I stood on her shoulder. I started to wonder what the next trick would be... but she began walking carefully back into the kitchen. She made sure to keep her shoulders level as she moved, and I managed to keep my balance without too much effort. It was a little tricky when she bent down to pick up the container of fruit from the kitchen floor, but we managed.

I waited until she opened the lid to reveal the fruit inside, then I dove for it. I jumped off her shoulder and leapt for the meal, too hungry and cold and miserable to wait any longer...

She slammed the lid back down on the container the second I left her shoulder, and I landed on a fully sealed wall that separated me from my dinner.

I balanced precariously on the container and tried to scratch at it, but my claws were just as useless as they had been every other time. Stupid Kymari containers, stupid Kymari reflexes, stupid everything! I'm so hungry, please, just let me have something...

I looked up at the Kymari and wailed helplessly. "Please... just let me eat..."

I saw a look of shock and sad surprise in her eyes and thought she might be about to open the container... but she just took her gloved hand away from the container and held it up in the air again. "To fist."

I felt my tail sag and my ear tufts droop. This isn't fair... I lowered my head, then hopped onto her fist.

She brought me up by her shoulder. "Up."

I jumped the short distance to her shoulder. "Good boy." The same feeling of pride welled up in me again, which only upset me more. I didn't want to feel good about this. She opened the container again, and this time I waited on her shoulder. She pulled out the sliver of shia fruit and passed it up to me, then brought me a pineapple ring.

I hated how good they tasted.

I sat on her shoulder and nibbled on the food. After a few pieces she held up her gloved hand once more. "To fist."

I felt another feeling of helplessness come over me. I knew if I didn't that she would just stop feeding me, and I was still so hungry... I crossed the short distance to her hand and dug my claws into the leathery material.

A sunburst berry was offered for doing the trick. I felt almost sick taking it.

A gradual feeling of numbness settled over me. I was starving. I needed to eat. And this was the only way to get it.

But I did not want to do this.

I felt betrayed. I had been nice to her just the day before. I had put enough of my hatred towards her aside and gotten close, and tried to comfort her, and actually worried about her. I had helped her feel better when she was hurting.

And in return she had half-starved me and taken the heat lamp away, all so I would be in the right frame of mind to jump through hoops for her.

And worst of all was that I couldn't even bring myself to wish I hadn't gone and comforted her. Even after all this, I was still glad that I had cheered her up. The memory of being there for her made me feel happy. It was a warmth inside me, and a positive memory that made me feel good about myself for having done it.

She passed me more fruit, and occasionally gave me the command to hop onto her shoulder or back onto her fist. I did whatever she said, though I felt heavier and heavier with each one. I noticed changes in her voice as the meal went on, and thought she was sounding almost upset... but I didn't care. I just wanted the meal to be over. Just wanted my stomach to stop being hungry.

Finally she came to the last piece of fruit - another sunburst berry. She held it out to me, and I stared at it for a long moment. I just felt too broken to even want the thing.

I clung tighter to her fist and looked away from the berry.

I lay on Minna's shirt and felt the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out. She had carried me to the couch after our meal and laid down on it, then pulled me to her chest. She was just staring down at me now with a look of ever-growing guilt and concern.

I had considered moving, but... I just felt miserable. Missing the Morning Song had been bad enough, and then being cold and hungry all day had added to that, and then... even my wings were hurting from all of the jumping around I had done. I just stayed where she put me. I was full and just wanted to stop being awake. At least she was warm. And the rhythm of her breathing felt comforting. This was as good a place to rest as any, what with the heat lamp still off. I wasn't even sure if Minna realized she hadn't turned it back on.

Minna's hand came up to slowly pet along my back. I started to grumble but immediately cut off the sound - she had made it clear hissing would just lead to more petting. If I was quiet, there was at least a chance that she would get bored and stop.

And worst of all... I couldn't even tell if I wanted her to stop or not. My instincts and emotions were all a mess. Especially in the state of post-meal contentment. Her hand was soothing against my scales, and her body was warm. And... the worst part of it all, the part that was really eating away at me to have to admit, was that I liked that she was petting me. I was starting to like her, I liked that she was holding me close. Not even just the simple physical pleasure of friendly contact because someone was holding me close.

I was glad that it was coming from her.

Not even an entire month with her, and I was sitting here letting the person who had killed Susie hold and touch me. Not even half a year after Susie's death. And now I liked her.

Something had happened the day before. Something had changed between us, something that had been slowly growing all along and which had finally formed into... into something. It must have.

Because otherwise I couldn't be feeling like somebody I trusted and cared about had betrayed me.

I stared at the back of the couch and tried to make sense of everything I was feeling while she gently stroked along my back. All of the feelings kept conflicting inside me. The only constant was a feeling of complete, utter helplessness.

What have you done to me...

I felt Minna shift underneath me and reach her free hand to the table, then heard the sound of the phone device. It made a few beeps... then I heard Trenil's voice. "Good evening, Trenil speaking."

"Um... h-hey, Trenil?" Minna's voice was unsteady, and I thought I felt her hand trembling as it pet me.

"Minna?" The voice on the other end of the line became concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"No..." Her hand pressed down against me, rubbing carefully over my neck. "I did the stuff the notes said, about teaching him commands, and to use food when he was hungry, but... I... I think I messed up..."

"Nate? Are you okay?" Ivy's voice. She sounded just as concerned as Trenil.

I slumped down against the shirt beneath me. I didn't want to deal with anything right then. I didn't have the energy to talk to her. "Please just leave me alone..." My mental voice sounded exhausted even to me. Broken.

It was quiet for a short moment, long enough for Ivy to talk to Trenil, then Trenil spoke again. "We'll be there first thing in the morning."