Jace's eyes shine with satisfaction and excitement, though both the expressions are tangled with curiosity and a hunger to know more. Having found out another piece of Lucy, I feel breathless and for a quite long moment, I can't speak. Thousands of words but I can't think of a thing.

Jace breaks the silence like he always does.

'This makes sense. She always planned everything. And these pages, this story, it's leading us somewhere. Somewhere...' He takes a deep breath, his voice trailing off, hardly able to control his eagerness. 'For a start, how did you know it was this book?'

I can't peel my eyes off it, I want to hug it to my chest and drown in the ocean of sadness. But that's the last thing I can do. I've never been a survivor in such a situation where I've got this little choice and have to do so much against my will. I heave a sigh.

'It's about the woman abused by their husbands. She read that one aloud and I remember the story. It made her cry. She said that the heartache would never go away until eventually, we had to head out to have a late-night dessert to make up for the sad emotions bursting through her heart.'

Jace smiles. 'She seems like the sort of person you read about in books. Sensitive, beautiful and different. I've quite never heard of a woman like her.'

'Lucy was different.' I reflect on what once was and though my heart aches, it sorts of spreads warmth inside me as well, reminiscing.

'She loved midnights. She would get out of bed at two-thirty to search for her diary because she would suddenly feel poetic. We often had late-nights desserts, mostly thick slices of chocolate cakes, for treats. Whenever one of us felt sad, we ate chocolate. Lucy used to love chocolate so much that she ate a big bar every day, and I would stare at her and wonder how she could get addicted to it that badly.'

'She used to get addicted to stuff?' Jace asks with that curious look again, that one that makes me wonder what's going on in his head.

'Pretty much. She read as the world depended on it, often getting so lost in the book, I would have to shake her shoulders to get her to listen to me. When she got addicted to cakes, we had so many, that we had to walk for hours every day to make up for it. She liked to stay fit, but she ate as if she tasted more than the food. I don't know how to describe it.' I rub my neck. 'When she made up her mind to do something, she devoted her entire soul to it.'

I put the paperback in the book, and decide to take it back home with me. Another broken piece of my perfect wife to take home, where she should be, waiting for me and yet she's gone like she is never meant to be found. My heart races at that thought, I hope she didn't take the meant to be the line of hers too seriously.

'That could mean that once she decided to run away, she planned it all. Seven missed calls, right? All while the shooting was going on and you couldn't possibly pick them up. Then the messy room that implied struggle but no fingerprints found. And now these torn pages of her diary, and her story. There was a reason behind all this. I can't get my head around it-'

'You think I do?' I cut in. 'I don't even know why she ran away. I can't figure it out. Yes, things changed, she changed. But we all do over time, don't we? Lucy didn't look that happy but in those days before she ran away, she didn't look as if she was planning to leave with my daughter either, knowing that it'll probably be more worse for me than a heart attack.'

'We'll figure it out. That part of it. Maybe that'll explain a lot of things.'

I sigh. 'This part of the story, it already does.'

Jace nods. 'Explain.'

'Her favourite memory? It was that moment when she fell in love twice. She didn't say that it was the moment when she held Celine for the first time. She talked about it over chocolate cake. She said that that was her favourite memory, that moment when she realized that she was in love all over again.'

'Chocolate cake? What could have made her sad that day?'

'I don't know.' And I feel a stab of regret again. 'Oh, actually, I think I do.' I confess as an explanation burst inside my head. 'We had a party that day. Nothing too big. There were about fifty people. We normally have more than a hundred.' I think again, trying to figure out what triggered that thought because it doesn't make much sense. 'But it was perfect. Lucy did the baking herself and was ready an hour before the guests started arriving. She was humming, always a good sign. I don't recall anything that must have went wrong. She was the star of the party, everybody loved her.'

'What about you? Did you have any conversation with her that could have made her sad, disturbed even?' Jace frowns, his eyes boring into mine.

I think so hard that I almost get lost in memory. 'She acted a bit weird after the party. But then, she was tired. I didn't think much about it because she said that she wanted to go out to eat dessert. I realized that she was sad, and thought that maybe that was why she was acting weird.'

'Weird how?' He asks again. He's asking questions a little faster now and I'm not sure if I can keep up the pace.

'Still and silent. Lost in thoughts. Thinking too much. That is what Lucy was like when she felt sad, most of the time. It feels a bit weird now because when we talked over dessert, she didn't talk about anything sad. She kept talking about old memories.'

'Something happened. At the party. What could have? Can you think it over?' His tone is brisk again. I'm sure his mind is working so fast that he's lost in his thoughts and trying to make some sense of something that he sorts of understand but can't quite grasp. His expression makes me think that that might be the cause of his sudden brisk tone. His expression match what I feel inside.

'Nothing did. It was a party, sort of even quiet. If something happened, I would have known.' But my mind still replays the memory again, trying to grasp an explanation.

'Something was wrong, and Lucy knew it. Or there was something wrong with her,' It hurts to admit it. 'Lucy never raised a hand on Celine. And Kim says that she beat her so badly that he couldn't stand letting her stay. That kills me. The Lucy I know would rather die than hurt Celine. But-' I stop suddenly, remembering what Eva said.

Did everything start changing?

'What?' He looks eager and confused. I can hardly blame him.

'Things started changing.' I say slowly, every single word hurts to say. 'Lucy loved to dress Celine in pretty clothes. Celine was always that baby girl dressed in frilly frocks and smelling like flowers. Freshly bathed and so clean that it used to make me wonder how Lucy managed to keep her that clean. But then-'

I stop again, a realization dawning to me, hurting so much that it makes it hard for me to speak. My voice cracks, heavy with grief.

Jace nods encouragingly, placing a hand on my shoulders, his expression soft.

'Sit down on the sofa. Let it come to you,  Aiden. Stop fighting back. You need to stop fighting with yourself if you want to fight for Lucy. Embrace it. Sometimes that's what you need to heal.'

So I continued, soaked with emotions. How could I stop now?

'But then she stopped.'

Jace frowns. 'Stopped what?'

I look away, unable to look at him, tasting the same bitterness I tasted long ago.

'She stopped looking after Celine like she used to. I started to give Celine baths because I would come home to find her dirty. I grew closer to Celine over that time because I started doing the things Lucy did mostly. I thought, back then.' I sigh deeply. 'I thought she needed a break, that she was too tired. I was happy to help. But maybe she was stressed and-' I stop to think, shutting my eyes tight. 'I don't know.' I give up, staring at Jace, feeling almost hopeless. 'I don't know why Lucy wouldn't have talked with me if she was stressed. She talked about everything.'

Then I sit up straight. 'The diary. She must have written something in her diary. Anything. She would have been unable to keep herself from writing.'

Jace nods. 'And that's why she tore the pages. I assume there was more than one?'

'A couple.' I sigh impatiently. I want things to stop being so confusing. I want the world to start making sense. I'm fed up feeling so lost and confused. It feels like I'm falling down into darkness and being unable to stop. I want to stop feeling this way. I have to end it, somehow.

'She tore all the pages. I found the leather jackets. And that single page.' I rub my eyes. 'Damn, I'm so tired. What the hell went wrong? I'm so damn tired thinking about things that make no sense.'

'Some things do.' Jace shakes his head. 'Lucy was going through the emotions that she hid from you. It makes me wonder what was making her feel that way, and why she didn't talk with you about it.'

'Maybe I was the reason.' I look up, eyes achingly dry. Maybe tears really will make me feel less crappy if only I can push them out of my eyes. 'I don't know why, or how that can happen. But then, there is a lot that I don't know.'

'We'll figure it out.' Jace says as he stands up. I'm glad he's done asking questions for now. I can't think about Lucy much longer, about memories that bring heartache, or my heart will burst.

'I want to go home. I need sleep.' I stare around, feeling desperate. I don't know what's exactly happening to me. 'No. I need Lucy. I need to understand. I need to stop thinking. Damn, my head is spinning. I need to stop feeling Jace. I want this to freaking stop.'

'Hey, hey.' Jace catches hold of me and shakes me a little. 'Listen to me. We'll find her okay? We'll find those answers-'

I shake my head, pushing him away, hard.

'I want Celine too. Not a damn child who looks like her. I want my baby back.'

The world spins, tears spill from my eyes, and I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I gasp, coughing violently, my throat dry. My ears ring painfully, my lips are trembling and stinging. I stare at my shaking hands, my eyes wide, feeling tears slide down my cheeks, and then I look up, my eyes falling on Jace who looks completely lost.

'She messed me up. Lucy killed me.' I mumble the last words, feeling hurt run through my body like acid, and then, I pass out.

Soft small hands grasp my own, and as I blink, a beautiful sight meets my eyes.

I see dark braided hair, and deep green-grey eyes staring back at me.

'Celine?' I want to cry.

'No.' She says softly. 'I'm Eva.' She hesitates before adding, 'I'm your friend. Remember?'.

I nod, closing my eyes, feeling a tear slide down.

'Are we going home?' I ask quietly.

'Yes. We are going to the airport. The plane is about to leave in two hours and Jace is frantic.'

'I'm sure I scared the hell out of him.' I manage a weak smile. My head hurts.

'You sure did.' I hear Jace groan loudly, and this time, my lips curl into a smile themselves, though I feel guilty.

'I'm sorry.' I sigh. 'I wanted to cry, and I was sort of trying not to cry-'

'And that triggered a panic attack. Apparently, you couldn't breathe too.' Jace inhales deeply. 'I wasn't expecting it, and by the look on your face, you weren't either. You must have been feeling crappy, inside and wasn't showing it. Sometimes thinking too much, and feeling like that can start a panic attack. But-'

'You didn't expect me to have one.' I cut in. I heave a sigh. 'I totally lost control, and I guess, I sort of gave in. She was everywhere. In my head, in my heart. I saw Celine.. abused. And-' I heave another sigh, shutting my eyes tight. 'And that sort of made me take it out. I'm sorry you had to deal with-'

'Don't be.' Jace says shortly.

'When will we get there?'

'An hour.'

I slump back onto the seat. I catch Eva staring at me with a thoughtful expression.

'Is something wrong?' I frown.

'No.' She shakes her head. 'I'm just-' She stops, biting her lips. 'I was just thinking.'

'Oh? What were you thinking about?'.

She blushes. 'I don't know what happened. I was thinking about what you found out.'

'He doesn't want to talk about it.' Jace snaps sharply.

'No. It's okay.' I offer her another little smile, just for the sake of Celine. She used to say that she loved my smile. 'We have just found something. A reason. And our next clue. We need to go to Aldeen's now.'

'What's that?' Jace's voice drowns Eva's. She gives him an annoyed look.

'The place we used to have desserts. It's on the next street from ours. But.' I stop again, my heart feeling heavy.

'But what?' Jace asks mire impatiently.

'But she might have left that single piece of paper there ages ago. It may not be there anymore.' I swallow a lump in my throat.

'We'll see.' Jace sighs. 'As long as we get to meet a worker who met her when she went there to leave our next clue. I'm sure I can get somewhere.'

'I remember something else' I sit straighter on the back seat, my eyes on Jace.

'You don't need to talk about it just yet if you don't want to.' He says, but I can see the impatience in his eyes and the way he keeps biting his lips. I'm sure no one has ever seen him do that, but I choose not to comment.

'It's okay. I think it's better to get it out of the way.' I lean back on my seat, my body feels achingly stiff.

'There was this day when I came home late. I didn't have time to check my phone before, and I only got to find out that I had fifteen missed calls when I was on the front gate. That day, she welcomed me with a tight smile. She always had coffee ready for me. But she didn't that day. I guess it wouldn't have felt like a big deal if she wasn't so strict about the whole routine.'

'She wanted everything done on time?' Jace asks.

'Mostly, yes. I always thought that that was why she was so upset about it. That night, when I asked her if she wanted to head out for dessert, she refused. It made sense, she was upset. But now-' I stop, thinking.

'But now, it feels strange. Lucy always had cake when she was upset. The more upset she was, the more she had it. I was pretty tired and to be honest, I didn't think about it much. Not until now.'

'Why now?' Jace asks briskly. 'Is this about the Novel?'

'Yes.' I confess though that information feels private. 'It's about abuse. It made me wonder if I was the reason Lucy ran away. But why would Lucy think I was abusing her? How is that possible when I never raised a hand on her? Nothing was that seriously bad.'

'I've thought about that.' Jace stops the car and looks back at me. 'Everyone did. But you proved to be innocent. Nobody spoke against you. Everybody said that you were the perfect husband. Not that the police really believed them. We were after you for seven months, until we had to give it up as bad luck.'

'But now I'm not too sure.' He adds. 'Let's just get home.'

I sigh. 'Sounds beautiful.'