Grace's POV

"I'm sorry," I said, breaking the silence that surrounded Josh and Ben's apartment. I felt a cold, salty tear tumble down my face, dripping onto my lips.

He looked at me with a tilted head, his eyes puffy. 

"For what?" he asked.

I let out a small whimper allowing more tears to come flooding out of my eyes. I coughed slightly, gasping for air between my tears, attempting to spit out some words but they wouldn't come. I tried to slow my breathing after it had suddenly spiked, but it didn't work as well as I'd hoped. Slower but not slow enough. 

I managed to spit out words, my voiced craking and slightly higher than usual. "For everything!" I sobbed. 

Josh turned on the sofa to face me, taking his huge hands in my small ones. He shook his head, "no, it's not your fault he's gone".

I started to cry even harder, and I buried my head in Josh's lap, rocking us slightly in an attempt to comfort myself. Josh didn't say anything else, he just patted my hair and cradled my head with the occasional sniff - I think he was crying as well. It reminded me of that day back in England...

(Flashback)

"It's okay, shhhhh" the paramedic comforted me whilst I was crying on the ground, firefighters rushing around me, finally wheeling the hoses back into the red trucks. 

Through my tear-filled eyes, I looked up and saw what was once my house standing tall now burnt to blackness. It only made me sob harder. I turned around and saw a sight that I would never have wanted to see. Two trolleys wheeling two things, or two people, into an ambulance.  They were both covered in white sheets but I knew who they were - my parents. It's all my fault! If I had simply made sure that the oven was off, then...

Time slowed down as the trolleys passed me. Yet another tear falling from my eye. The sound of voices muffled in the distance as I watch my mothers ring fall from her burnt finger. I rushed over, time now becoming normal again, and collected the ring from the ground. I took my necklace off and put the ring on it so I would never forget my mother. I looked up, the world still coated in water.

 Everyone had straight faces, knowing my fate, knowing my brother's fate. We were orphans. He'd would be fine, he's 18, he is a free bird. Me, on the other hand, I'd be carted off to some home filled with strangers. I couldn't do it. So I ran, I escaped down the street to find a quiet place to cry. I knew I'd be found but not yet. I wasn't ready yet...

(end of flashback)

Josh lifted my head up. "Why don't we get some ice cream?" he asked.

"What about Ben, don't you want.." 

Josh sighed defeatedly. "Ben - Ben, he'd want us too, he wouldn't want us waiting for him," Josh laughed slightly, "He always hated me waiting for him to come home, said it always made him feel guilty". 

I smiled slightly, happy that Josh had laughed slightly, remembering Ben at his best. I smiled through my tears and grabbed his hand pulling him off the sofa. We both went to get changed into something more presentable. I got changed into a pair of dungaree shorts matched with a white T-Shirt with a blue trim. I walked out of my room and pulled on some white converse. 

I sniffled slightly, because placed next to my white converse, were ben's converse. I smiled weakly at Josh because I knew he felt the emptiness present. I grabbed his hand and we left for some ice cream.