CHAPTER TWO: SOPHIA

"who do you think had the best diving record in king county public pool?"

—

HOPE AND DOUBT WERE AT WAR IN INDIANA'S MIND.

What came next?

No CDC, hardly enough gas, and losses they couldn't seem to shake.

Indiana wasn't close to Jaqui, but she liked Amy well enough. They'd died within a week of each other, and Morales' family's departure only stressed everyone out more.

Less mouths to feed, Shane said, but less people to count on, Rick argued.

Indiana glanced over at her father; her leg pressed against the table across from him in the RV. She knew he was taking it all hard. The guilt, the deaths, the losses.

He and Rick were struggling to find a balance in leadership. Shane was radical, Rick was pragmatic. Both were good leaders, in entirely different ways.

"How're you feelin', Indie?" Shane asked finally, cutting through the silence.

Indiana removed herself from her mind, shrugging acutely. "I just keep thinking about everyone," she confessed. "How long is this shit meant to go on for? How are we supposed to keep everyone safe?"

Shane laughed humorlessly. "That's a damn good question, lev."

Nostalgia filled Indiana at the nickname, a bittersweet smile taking over her face. She'd always loved animals growing up and had more stuffed animals in her bedroom than she knew what to do with.

Shane had been the one to take her to the zoo for the first time and he'd sat next to her outside the lion's area for nearly three hours before she finally moved. Even still, Indiana didn't know what compelled her to them, but something about the ferocity of a lion inspired her.

During their ice cream break, he'd remarked that she was like a lion. He claimed her own bravery was different than the animal, but stronger in another sense. She'd endured insurmountable odds and came out with a dimpled grin and selfless heart.

To Shane, Indiana was equally as tenacious and brave and resilient.

And from that day on, a nickname was born.

He called her "lev", which held a dual meaning to both his heritage and affection. Hebrew for heart and Russian for lion. Both were languages he grew up around and both were languages he hoped to teach her one day.

He claimed she had a lion's heart and made his feel warm and when he tucked her in that night, she cried.

He stroked her hair and affirmed his love for her. His little heart, his little lion. Brave and strong and true.

A decade later, Indiana sat across from him in an old man's RV, cleaning a gun.

Things had changed in the world around them — and Indiana wondered what had become of the animals in the zoos; were they alive? Lost? Abandoned too? — but their relationship hadn't.

"Think Fort Benning's a good plan," Indiana responded finally, digging in her pack for a granola bar.

Halfway through her search, she remembered she'd given her last one to Carl an hour prior and zipped it back up.

"Thanks," Shane sent a glance in her direction. "Rick was bein' naive with the whole CDC shit, y'know?"

Indiana nodded. She didn't completely agree with her dad's perspective, but she couldn't argue that Jaqui would still be alive if not for the detour.

"At least we had showers," she pointed out. "Could've been worse. I think even Daryl took one."

Shane smiled then, small, with an eye roll, but it was there. "Blessed be," he muttered.

Indiana let out a small laugh. "God knows he needed it," she joked, "almost as much as you did."

That earned a real smile and another glance. He poked her side and she let out another laugh.

"You little shit," he teased her, "keep talking."

The energy in the truck shifted between them, warmth surging from their chests into the sun, combatting the emptiness that the world outside spurned.

Absentmindedly, Indiana realized how little she'd seen Shane smile the past few months. He took on the weight of the world and refused to burden anyone else with it and she could see how much it killed him.

But laughing with him, feeling like a kid again, she vowed to make an effort to encourage laughter again.

Not just from her dad, but from everyone. Andrea glanced over at them from her place by the window, a small smile on her face, and Indiana wondered if Andrea could even laugh again after her loss.

Amy had an infectious laugh, always making those around her feel comfortable. It couldn't have been easy to watch her sister take a final breath, and then continue on without a purpose.

Indiana decided that would be her purpose. She'd always been gifted at jokes and humorous interlopes and she'd try her best to keep Amy's laugh alive, even if her body wasn't. For Andrea, who would have to live without her until she perished, too. And for Shane, who seemed to forget how happy the world was when he smiled.

Laughter couldn't be forgotten; happiness couldn't be swapped for survival. It wasn't right to give up positivity in place of circumstance.

"Do you think Rick was right?" Indiana asked after they quieted. "About hope?"

Shane pursed his lips, eyes narrowing in thought. "I don't know, kid," he confessed. "I've never been one for hope, you know that."

Wasn't that the truth? Indiana had always been the optimist in their relationship, never relied on her father for words of encouragement. He was good in other ways. Stronger in actions than words. He'd pushed her to self-defense and survival classes — which, she supposed had come in handy now more than ever — but lacked the comforting reassurances when she broke down about her parents.

He was a good listener. Shane could sit at her side for stretches of rambling and silences, gripping her hand to show his comfort. And he'd ruffle her hair and make her favorite food, but he never could find the right words. He never seemed to scramble up a "you'll be okay, kid" because he didn't really believe that to be the case.

And to combat his lack of faith, Indiana mustered her own tenfold. She comforted him after breakups and promised him she'd be okay. The older she got, the less parental Shane became, but that didn't mean he loved her any less.

He was young when he adopted Indiana, they both knew that. And eventually, she realized he hadn't been accustomed to support or love either.

Shane provided the stability and security in their house, but Indiana made it feel like home.

"I think hope is more important now than ever," Indiana countered, "if we all believe in the inevitability of our own demise, then what's to say we'll ever actually get to live? There's more to life than survival, right? Even in this world?"

Both Shane and Andrea watched her for a moment. Andrea looked down, contemplative. Shane simply shook his head, chuckling.

"You were always a weird kid," he teased lightly.

But Indiana knew what that meant. She knew how to read someone incapable of expressing emotions in a healthy manner. She'd done it as a young girl with her parents, and then with Shane growing up.

He meant she had a point and he'd think on it, even if he didn't believe it. And he was proud of her for not giving up hope — it had gotten her this far, right?

"Oh, geez," Dale's voice carried through the RV. "Aw, come on."

Indiana liked Dale a lot. He reminded her of the grandfather she always wanted. Shane didn't speak to his parents — especially not after adopting Indiana — but she volunteered in the old folk's home just outside of town in high school.

They were full of stories and patience and taught her empathy in the highest regard. Dale was soft-spoken, but strong-willed. He practiced quiet strength and moral decisions and she found herself aligning with his opinions more often than not.

Shane stood first, Indiana right behind him, looking over Dale's shoulder.

A semi-truck flipped over, blocking the entire road, cars littering the street. There was no chance they'd make it across the road without figuring out a way to move them.

"That's a bummer," Indiana commented, biting her thumbnail.

Shane glanced back at her and tapped her hand, stopping her movements and small pout settled on her lips. He looked back to the road, then to the window as Daryl drove towards them on his motorcycle.

Before, they'd slipped it into the bay of the truck, but now he preferred to drive it.

Shane said no when she asked to ride on the back of it, but Indiana thought he was being overprotective.

(And swore to herself she would definitely ride it the next time Daryl offered.)

"See a way through?" Dale called to Daryl, who nodded for them to follow him.

Indiana's attention was grabbed by Glenn, who looked up at her from the passenger seat. She flicked his baseball cap, and he scowled playfully up at her, before focusing on the map.

"Maybe we should just go back," he suggested tentatively. "There's an interstate bypass—"

"—We can't spare the fuel," Dale shook his head.

They drove in silence, looking around morbidly at the abandoned lives sprawled on the highway. Cars turned over; doors left open. People were gone but their footprints remained, creating a bleak atmosphere.

"Geez," Indiana and Glenn said together, barely sparing a glance to the other as the word left their mouths.

An uneasy feeling of doom settled in Indiana's chest and she found herself leaning a fraction closer to Shane for comfort. He seemed to notice and pulled her to him gently, running his hand up and down her back comfortingly.

It wasn't easy to forget the world ending with Walkers roaming about and eating cold tomato soup. But it was easy to forget the world before — and Indiana wondered how many of these people had lived to form their own groups. Or were they walking aimlessly, feasting on the living with nothing more than a primal urge?

Indiana leaned her head on Shane's shoulder, pondering how many more graveyards they'd have to walk through. And what awaited them on the other side. Heaven? Or Hell?

Indiana jumped when the engine spluttered, smoke flying from under the hood of the RV. Shane pressed a kiss to her head, pulling back and she moved out of the way for Dale to exit the RV.

"I said it," Dale remarked, sighing. "Didn't I say it?"

Indiana rolled her eyes fondly, exchanging a mildly amused look with Andrea. Leave it to Dale to give an "I-told-you-so" when there were so many more important things to worry about.

"A thousand times," he continued, "dead in the water."

"I wonder if fish are doing okay," Indiana mused to Glenn. "Think they're suffering?"

Glenn shrugged. "Probably not half as bad as we are. I could go for a swim."

"Oh, heck yeah," Indiana nodded. "I miss the pool."

"Did you like waterslides?" Glenn asked curiously.

"Duh," Indiana scoffed. "Who do you think had the best diving record in King County Public Pool?"

"Seriously?" Glenn inquired.

"Guys," Shane interjected, sending them a look.

Glenn and Indiana had matching sheepish smiles, nudging the other. "Sorry," they responded in unison.

Shane simply shook his head, Rick sending them a look of mild amusement. Glenn and Indiana sent each other another look, as though blaming the other for the reprimand.

"Problem, Dale?" Shane asked, adjusting the grip on his gun.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere," Dale explained agitatedly, waving to the RV.

"Well, more fun that way," Indiana tried weakly. "More adventures."

"This isn't one of your books, Indie," Shane shot her another look. "This is real life. Try to take it seriously."

Indiana shrank in a bit, a frown overtaking her face at his words. She knew he didn't mean it harshly, he never did, but he'd said it in such a condescending tone it made her want to cry. Blinking furiously, Indiana looked away, catching Glenn's worried eye.

Without saying anything, he grabbed her hand and squeezed, smiling reassuringly at her. She nodded, sniffling into her hand and avoiding the eyes of anyone who glanced in her direction.

"We've got no hope of—" Dale continued, before cutting himself off. "Okay, that was dumb." He looked around at the abandoned cars.

"It's okay Dale," Indiana comforted. "You're aggravated, and justifiably so. We'll figure it out."

Dale sent her a small smile, eyes softening at her hopeful look.

"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane turned in a small circle, trailing off his words.

"There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find," Daryl pointed out from where he rummaged in the back of a car.

T-Dog nodded, walking past Indiana and Glenn, looking around at the closest vehicles. "I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start."

"If that's the thing that involves putting my mouth on the gas and then pushing it in," Indiana mumbled to Glenn, crinkling her nose. "I am not doing that."

Glenn nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"Maybe some water?" Carol suggested, arms wrapped around Sophia.

Indiana glanced back at the mother and daughter, heart surging with affection for the pair. She didn't often like to think of her own mother, but Carol's timid nature reminded her often of the woman who birthed her.

Ed was more like her father than Indiana would care to admit — Shane knew it, too, disliking Ed from the start — and Indiana's heart went out for the little girl in Carol's arms, trapped behind a wall of abuse and terror, only for the wall to crash down when the world ended.

"Or food," Glenn added, squeezing Indiana's hand.

Indiana's attention shot back to Glenn at the suggestion and her face lit up. She'd been hungry for days, it seemed, always offering half her portions to Carl or Sophia.

"This is a graveyard," Lori spoke up cautiously.

Everyone exchanged looks at the words, and guilt flooded Indiana at her words. They were true. As much as she wanted to help the group and refuel and restock on goods — they would be taking from people's very memory.

Lori looked to Rick, running her hand along her jeans. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"We're not digging up skeletons," Indiana objected quietly. "But it's like when someone dies, and you carry their memory with you. We're not taking their lives, Lor, but we're not destroying ourselves because they died. That would be cruel to who they were before."

"They were people, Indie," Lori's eyes met hers, a flicker of hesitation there.

"And so are we," Indiana smiled gently. "If you were one of these people, would you want a group to pass up feeding kids because they were trying to be respectful?"

Lori glanced down at Carl, then to Indiana again. "She's right," Lori relented, sighing softly. "Just...a lot to take in."

"Come on, y'all," T-Dog pat Indiana's shoulder as he passed her, heading to the cars behind the RV. "Just look around."

Indiana dropped Glenn's hand and walked to Lori, pulling her into a tight hug. Lori held her gently, squeezing her once.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly to Indiana. "Always knowin' what to say."

"Learn from my mama," Indiana smiled at Lori, pulling back and poking her side playfully, but the sentimental words didn't go unnoticed.

Lori's face softened and her eyes filled with tears, pulling Indiana into another hug. "I love you, Indie," she breathed out. "Always know that, okay? I was so proud to raise you."

"I know," Indiana nodded, pulling back and ruffling Carl's hair, pulling him to follow her. "Right back at you, Lor."

Carl and Indiana trudged through a few cars near the RV, allowing Rick and Lori a moment to speak.

"Do you think we could find any comics here?" Carl asked, too nonchalant to be uncaring.

Indiana's eyes lit up. "I sure hope so," she opened the trunk of an older Toyota. "Imagine adding to our collection without having to pay for them."

Carl glanced up at her and then down at the objects in the car. He wasn't really helping Indiana search — not that he really knew what to search for — but he was keeping her company and it's more than she could ask for. "Think Sophia likes comics?" He asked innocently.

Indiana shot him a look. "If she doesn't, you have to show her them," she spotted a coloring book and her face brightened. "Go hide this in my bag," she shoved it into Carl's hands. "If anyone says anything, say it's for you."

Carl smirked up at her. "You're really obvious," he chuckled. "Shane'll know."

Indiana rolled her eyes. "The day Shane tells me I can't color will be my last day on Earth."

Carl stilled. "Maybe that'll happen sooner than you think," he didn't meet her gaze, clutching the coloring book tightly in his arms. "The world is different now."

Indiana kneeled down in front of him, forcing him to meet her gaze. "Doesn't matter how different everything else is," she explained gently. "You and I don't have to change who we are to live."

Carl mulled over her words. "But Shane is strong," he countered. "And my dad. We have to be strong, too."

Indiana nodded. "That's true," she amended. "But it takes even more strength to keep true to yourself, especially in a world like this." She tapped the coloring book, just over Carl's heart. "I'm not going to sacrifice things that make me who I am," she explained softly. "If we do that, there's no point in trying to live in a world like this. Without colors and light and happiness, this world is only darkness. And who wants to live in all darkness?"

Carl smiled a bit. "You know who you remind me of?" He asked after a beat.

"Who?" Indiana's eyebrows pulled together.

"Squirrel Girl," Carl nodded. "I think if you were in a comic, you'd be her."

Indiana beamed at her brother's words, ruffling his hair. "I think you're Billy Batson," she watched his face light up in awe. "You're strong and brave and might be young, but you're more powerful than your foes, and you just have to channel your inner Shazam, and you'll always protect the people you love." She tapped the coloring book again. "Don't lose that strength, bubs."

"I love you," Carl said quietly, a bit sheepish.

"Me too, kiddo."

—

"I'm going to need another set of limbs," Indiana remarked to Shane as he handed her another can of food. He smiled at her words. "Don't laugh at me," she pouted. "I have toned arms, but they're not immune to the weight of a million pounds."

"Million pounds?" Shane raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Okay, a mild exaggeration," Indiana rolled her eyes. "But close enough. These cans weigh a ton. Where's Carl? He should be my pack mule."

Shane scoffed out a laugh. "That's awful."

"Oh, like you didn't use me for extra arm strength, so we didn't have to lug a grocery cart around the store," Indiana pointed out with a teasing smirk. "I distinctly remember you hating having to push those around because I was 'too big to fit in it right, Indie'," she quoted with a laugh. "And so, you had me carry any and all light things."

Shane grinned at the memory. "You liked it," he disagreed. "Always telling me you could handle more stuff." His smile fell a bit, shaking his head. "It's weird to think about that kind of shit now."

Indiana nodded. "I know. I don't even remember the last time we went to the store together."

A small smirk tugged at his lips. "This is it, lev, we're at the grocery store of the apocalypse. No cash, no worries."

Indiana laughed, pulling the cans closer. "I'm going to run these to the RV, be right back." He nodded, smile still on his face, and looked back to the vehicle at hand as she turned and headed off.

Passing Sophia on her way, she stopped, watching the young girl look over a pink backpack with a little unicorn keychain. "You can take that," Indiana said softly. "If you want it."

Sophia jumped, looking like she'd been caught stealing. "It belonged to someone else."

"It did," Indiana agreed. "Now it's yours. If you want it."

Sophia looked back at the bag and then up at Indiana. "Dad always said I couldn't have pink things," she revealed softly. "He said they were too girly. He didn't want to raise a...bad word."

Indiana softened, watching Sophia's face fall at the memory. "You know," she drew Sophia's attention away from her thoughts. "When I was little, before I met Shane, I had a different mom and dad."

Sophia's eyebrows tugged together. "You were adopted?"

Indiana nodded. "Yeah. Shane's my dad, and I love him like one, but when I was younger than you, I had a different set of parents. And they weren't very nice to me or each other."

Sophia stilled, hung on Indiana's words. "Really?" She breathed out.

Indiana's heart broke. Sweet Sophia didn't believe anyone could ever understand the pain she'd been through. Indiana wanted to pull her into a hug and never let anything bad happen to her ever again. It was like looking back at her own childhood — facing the anxieties she quarreled in her waking moments — only in a little girl, instead.

"Really," Indiana affirmed. "They both liked to hurt me a lot. And I wasn't allowed to have anything. If you don't take that pink bag, I think I will."

A small smile settled on Sophia's face. "Do you mind if I take it?"

"I get the unicorn keychain," Indiana narrowed her eyes a fraction, a small smile at her lips. "Deal?"

"Deal," Sophia confirmed, following Indiana to the RV. "I don't really like unicorns anyway. My favorite animal is a tiger."

"Really?" Indiana asked curiously, offering Glenn and Dale a smile as the girls passed them. Sophia opened the door for Indiana, who brought the cans to the table and set them down. "Tigers are fierce. I see where you're coming from with them. My favorite animal is a lion."

"I like lions," Sophia pulled the backpack on, straightening a bit with pride. It made Indiana's heart nearly burst. "They have really loud roars. One time, my mom took me to the zoo, and we heard a lion and it was suuuper loud. I felt it here," she pointed to her chest. "Like when I get hungry."

"Yeah," Indiana agreed with a small laugh. "They are loud. Have you ever heard a dinosaur roar?"

"Dinosaurs don't exist anymore," Sophia pointed out as Indiana headed back out of the RV. "Are you trying to prank me?"

"Of course not," Indiana shrugged. "Do you like dinosaurs?"

Sophia nodded. "Yeah, I think they're cool. One time, Dad and I watched Jurassic Park together." Her voice saddened. "He was really nice that day."

Indiana stopped walking, pulling Sophia into a soft hug, cradling her head to her stomach. "I know it's weird," she said softly. "You miss him, even if he was mean to you. And you're happy he's gone, too. It's okay to feel both things."

Sophia sniffled. "I just don't want Mommy to think I'm mad at her."

"She knows, Sophia," Indiana responded softly, running her fingers through the girl's hair. "And I think she's feeling that way too. Your mom loved your dad, too, just like you did. And I bet she is just as happy he's gone as you are."

Sophia pulled back, wiping her eyes. "Thanks, Indiana."

"Anytime, sweetheart," she glanced around, finding Carol watching the girls with tearful eyes. "I think your mom was looking for you." She offered Carol a kind smile and wave, who nodded back shyly in response.

Indiana walked away from the RV, but her attention was grabbed by Shane, who waved for her to come over, a grin on his face.

"Glenn, Indie, were we short on water?"

Indiana gasped at the jackpot Shane hit. Gallons of water, all lined up in the truck.

"Oh my gosh!" Indiana exclaimed, laughing when Shane popped open a gallon and let the water wash over him. "Look, Glenn, we can swim after all."

Glenn laughed gleefully, standing next to her as Shane got his fill, before the pair stepped under the water. Indiana drank some and let some fall over her hair, the liquid pouring over her clothes.

"I don't even care how uncomfortable my pants will be," she said as she pulled back, filling her own canteen with the water. "This is heaven."

"Seriously," Glenn agreed.

Shane laughed at the pair, walking closer to Indiana and adjusting her hair. "You're always a mess," he muttered, setting the part correctly. "Your curls are going to explode, kid."

Indiana rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me," her nose crinkled up. Ever since she couldn't use her hair products, the sweat and humidity made her curls nearly unbearable. "Maybe I'll shave my head."

"Not a bad idea," Shane alluded. "Though, I'd have to call you egghead. You'd look like an egg."

"You look like an egg," Indiana countered.

Shane snorted. "Nice comeback, you've still got it," he responded sarcastically.

Indiana rolled her eyes. "You're not worthy of my real comebacks, dad."

Shane grinned — eyes light like they always were when she called him that — reaching his hand under the water, cupping it, and splashing it into Indiana's face. "I miss the days you weren't around."

"Hardy-har," Indiana laughed, nudging her father with a light fist. He straightened a bit, smile falling when Lori and Carl came into view.

Indiana's heart sank at the sight.

She knew Shane and Lori had an affair when everyone thought Rick was dead. And she knew it wasn't fair of Shane to ask for more. Heck, she didn't even think Shane should ask for more or was even deserving of more from Lori. But she pitied her father, nonetheless.

The heart wants what it wants.

Their attention was grabbed by Rick, who was gesturing for them all to hide, mouthing "walkers." Indiana and Shane exchanged a look, jumping into action.

Shane grabbed Glenn, ducking under the RV, but Indiana rushed around, mind only thinking about Carl. Logically, he had Lori and Rick to protect him, but the surge of worry consumed her, and she found herself two cars down, relief flooding her. She had a perfect view of her brother, and sweet Sophia in the car next to it, who's mom she couldn't depend on for protection.

Indiana gripped one of her knives tightly, prepared to take out any walker that threatened her family.

Sophia was the first one out, catching Indiana's attention as a walker noticed, crouching down and reaching under the car for her. Sophia walked off the highway, two walkers growling after her.

Indiana spotted Rick moving out, but he was struggling with the gun and Indiana rolled out from under, rushing after the girl. She and Rick met halfway, nodding to each other, as they pursued Sophia into the woods.

Rick spotted her first, pointing to the sprinting blonde, and Indiana rushed after her, catching herself in a trip along the way. In another situation, she knew Rick would've laughed at her and called her a klutz, but this was neither the time nor place, and the pair kept running.

"You lead them out," Indiana said to Rick, "I'll get Sophia."

It wasn't the best idea, and the two of them could take out the two walkers, but Indiana didn't want to risk losing Sophia in the process to fear, and it seemed Rick had the same thought process.

Rick nodded, rushing to the walkers and throwing a rock to grab their attention. Indiana dashed after Sophia, following her to a small creak.

"Sophia," she called softly, her voice just above a whisper. "It's Indie."

Sophia peaked her head out from behind a tree, relief filling her face. She rushed into Indiana's arms, burying her face in Indiana's shoulder to muffle her tears. Indiana breathed out soothing words and ran her hand up and down the younger girl's back.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she soothed, "you're okay. You're okay. I'm here. It's okay."

Sophia sobbed against Indiana, trembling. Indiana leaned back against a tree, cradling Sophia. She knew they'd have to move locations, head back to the highway — which was...north, right? Shoot, she really should have packed a compass — but she also knew Sophia was in no state to move yet.

Indiana allowed Sophia three minutes, counting the seconds to ensure her timing was correct, before pulling back from her, cradling her face in her hands.

"Okay, sweet girl, we're going to head back to the group now, okay?"

Sophia nodded, sniffling.

Indiana didn't to alert the girl that they were about a quarter of a mile out and she hadn't a single clue which direction she'd come from. Adrenaline was a terrible commodity to a directionally challenged individual like Indiana.

"Let's go," Indiana mumbled to herself, nodding. She could do this. They would be fine. Totally fine.

—

They were not, in fact, fine.

She'd totally gotten lost. Indiana was sure it was just a straight shot back, but the longer they walked, the further from the highway it seemed they got. They'd been confronted with another couple of walkers and had to veer far right to avoid them, but surely that wouldn't have separated them from the others that much?

The irony of hating living next to a busy street as a child was not lost on her now. She'd do anything to hear a car and know they were in the right direction.

The sun was setting, putting Indiana's unease at an all-time high. If it were just her, she might be less worried. But with Sophia?

Sophia clutched her little doll in one hand, Indiana's in the other, panic written clear on her face the entire way. Indiana tried to keep her distracted, coming up with games to play along the way, making puns about things they saw.

She got a couple laughs from the younger girl, but they were few and far between.

—

Indiana had only run away once before. She was twelve, had just entered her "emotional phase" and had accidentally broken one of Shane's trophies from when he was in college. She was terrified of getting into trouble — so accustomed to the treatment from her birth parents — that she packed a small Power Rangers backpack and set off.

Fortunately, Shane was an officer and tracked her down easily enough. She was safe at home that night.

And the only trouble she was in was worrying the livin' hell out of him for leaving. He didn't care about a trophy, he'd told her. That was his past. But Indiana?

All that mattered to him.

The words reigned true as Carol prattled on to Dale about Sophia. Shane knew Sophia would be fine. Daryl said there were two sets of footprints. They'd stuck together.

He'd raised Indiana well enough to take care of herself, and others, if need be. It's why he asked her to be his right-hand when he was in control of everyone before Rick showed up.

Rick.

Shane scoffed at the thought. He loved his brother, he did, but if the guy hadn't come around and wasted everyone's time with the CDC bullshit, they'd be in Fort Benning by now. And Carol wouldn't be a crying mess, Lori wouldn't be hounding him — they'd be together, he was sure about that — and his daughter would be fine.

His heart tugged at the thought of finding her body. Fuck, he prayed that would never be the case. He needed that girl like air in his lungs.

He'd seen enough cases of missing kids in his time, and each one, he'd sleep with Indiana curled up on the sofa next to him, a movie playing in the background. He never talked about the cases, but she knew.

She was smart like that.

Indiana knew fucking everything. Random shit that no one on God's green Earth should know. She was top of her class in school and babysat Carl and the other neighborhood kids on weekends, volunteered at shelters. She was busy with sports and art and helping.

Christ, she was the sweetest fucking thing he'd ever known, and he was so damned proud of her. The thought of her...not surviving this shit made him sick to his stomach.

He didn't want to imagine a world without Indiana. Fearless, empathetic, bubbly, innocent Indiana.

"We're not going anywhere 'till my daughter gets back," Carol looked between Shane and Dale.

Shane nodded, opening his mouth to say the same when Lori spoke up.

"That goes without saying," she said in passing, patting Carol's arm.

Shane sighed. "Rick and Daryl, they're on it, okay?" He comforted. He understood where mothers came from about shit like this, but, fuck, if it didn't always annoy him. "And there were two tracks, Daryl said so. Indie's with her, she'll be okay."

"Indiana is no more than a child," Carol replied weakly. "What's she, nineteen?"

"Her birthday's in June," Shane confirmed, "she's a little under twenty. But I assure you, she is a damn good kid, and she knows how to survive in shit like this. She'll bring Sophia back."

"And if she doesn't?"

Well, then, I'll be fucking happy it's Sophia and not Indiana, Shane thought to himself.

"She will," he replied instead.

But the words he thought were truth. He knew Indiana would come home. But on the slim chance that Indiana proved to be as self-sacrificing as he knew her to be...

No.

She'd come home.

And they'd leave together.

She'd go with him, right? He knew she was attached to Glenn, shit, if the kid wanted to come, he could. But he couldn't be around Rick and Lori and their happy-go-fucking-lucky marriage anymore.

He and Indiana would separate and go their own way and they'd be fine.

All they needed was each other.

It's the way it had always been and it's the way it would remain.

—

i won't write shane's pov often but i think it's important to detail WHY he spiraled so quickly especially since he has family through indiana now, so we'll get him here and there. i also love indie and shane's relationship sm and i'm going to sob my eyes out when rick kills him man it's going to destroy indie. also indie is my baby, little bitty sunshine and i will defend her forever. she's literally paired up with joel and negan who are the grumpiest fuckers known to man, so ofc she's going to be a ball of sunshine and innocence. too many stories where the oc is badass with them nahhhh they need a grumpy x sunshine type energy. anywayyyyysyssss thanks for reading