What to do...what to do....

I wanted to run.

I know, not the right thing to do to someone who just asked you to marry them but I'm not in the mood to be gentle. Worse I kind of also wanted to laugh. How could a guy like Josh ever want to marry me? It was like the biggest joke.

If I wasn't in his life I'm pretty sure some nice girl might have snatched him right up before he even thought of it being possible that he could be in a relationship with a guy. Who am I to deprive the female population from him? I'm way older than him anyway.

I sucked in a breath and tried to dampen down the bitter words that wanted to break free of my lips. It won't do me any good to be harsh to him. I can't hurt him like that or else I'm sure to regret what I've said later.

"Josh. . ." I say his name softly and pause for a second before continuing. "Please don't ask this of me right now."

"No. I want you to answer me now. I'm not going to give you anymore time to think on it. I need you to answer me." The steel in his eyes doesn't waver under my gaze. "I've already waited long enough for you."

I lean back against the table and sigh. Josh was gripping the counter tightly while looking at me.

"You have the audacity to demand an answer from me like that?" I chuckle.

"Yes I do. I love you Michael and I always will."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I've never stopped thinking about you and I don't think I'll ever will." Josh looked at me a sadly, I could see how hard he was trying to make me understand.

Marriage. I am already at the age where I should be married and have children already, a family. Somehow I'm still single and not even the least bit ready to hop onto the white bandwagon.

Hah. What am I going to do?

"If your really dead set on marrying me. A man in his thirties, mind you. Then fine. It's not I was thinking about marrying anyone else anyway." I rub my forehead.

"Thank you Michael." Josh's voice is thick with emotion. The love he feels for me is almost tangible.

Josh walks up to me and puts a hand on either side of me on the counter. Now trapped like a freaking animal I have nowhere to look at but his face.

My heart tightened. Pure love was in his eyes. Strong and unbreakable.

Josh leaned his head forward, tilting my chin up with one hand, his lips gently rubbing against mine.

I couldn't move. With every move he made I could tell how much he cared.

His firm lips kissed mine and I was awash in the sensation. It felt good. Really good. I briefly wondered who taught him to kiss like this. Please just be natural talent.

His tongue peaked out slowly from his mouth, making sure I was already well intoxicated when it slightly brushed my lips and entered my mouth. A moan escaped my lips as Josh cupped the back of my head with one hand and brought us both deeper into the kiss.

My hands not bearing staying still wrapped around his neck.

From them on we went with the flow. The chemistry between us a force to be reckoned with. We were like magnets and our bodies glued together with no space in between.

"Michael. God, I love you so much." Josh rasped out after we both broke apart gasping.

"I'm feeling that alright." I laughed. I wanted to break into tears. It was a lot of love. Way too much love. Did I really deserve to be this happy right now?

I don't even know if I truly love him but everything about him being near me, touching me, kissing me, holding me, felt right.

"Hey Michael. I want to give you something. I know I put it somewhere. Wait here. Let me look for it." Josh suddenly disappears behind a corner and I can hear several cardboard boxes being opened and their contents dumped on the floor. More than once I wince at the sounds. I hear a clack as something is opened and closed. Josh's quick footsteps sound as he comes rushing back to me.

I don't see anything in his hands but he looks flush with excitement.

What could he have been looking for?

"Ok keep stay right there." I look at him quizzically but I don't move.

Josh gets down on one knee and glances up at me with a determined expression.

He did not.

He pulls out a small black box from his right pocket and opens it. I gasp.

Inside it is a beautiful diamond engagement ring. The design is simple yet captivating. When did he have the time to buy that?

"Will you marry me Michael Vit?" I was definitely no longer looking into the eyes of a little boy but a strong, capable adult. I had a feeling that as long as I was by his side, I would be alright. Never had I ever gotten a feeling so strong like that from anyone before. It was almost too much to handle.

"Yes. Josh Levine. I will marry you." I smile at him and this time I didn't falter. I could see that his hands were shaking almost imperceptibly, the box in is hand tilting.

If he really wanted to marry me than I would let him, only time and the struggles that life would surely throw at us would tell us if it was meant to last. I would not be the one to break his heart.

Josh was glowing with happiness, it radiated from as if he were the sun. I was almost afraid I would get skin cancer. He slid the ring onto my ring finger carefully. I was secretly happy that it fit perfectlu and didn't slip off.

He and pulled out another box with a ring exactly the same as mine and took out the ring.

"I'll put that on for you." Josh looked surprised but didn't make a move as I took the ring from his hands and slid it into his finger. While Josh may have looked manly before right now he seemed even more delicate then me.

I handled him like glass and slid the ring on his finger, kissing it softly before letting his hand go.
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The long awaited chapter has arrived. Sorry if it sucks. I don't know if how I write impacts anyone really. I just write. ('･_･')maybe my awkwardness seeps into my writing too.

Sincerely, River632