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ZERO. NOVEMBER 30, 1983
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

OFFICIAL SESSION TRANSCRIPT
JUDITH LILLIAN MONROE #2
DATED 11/30/83

[TIMESTAMP: 5 MINUTES 39 SECONDS]

JUDE:    Sometimes, when you take an ordinary substance, like coal, and you put it under enough pressure, you get something extraordinary—you know, like a diamond.

MS. KELLEY:   And in this case, you feel like you're the coal? Under extreme pressure?

JUDE:    Yeah. I mean, I hope I am.

MS. KELLEY:    You hope you are? What makes you say that?

JUDE:    I just... I don't know, I really hope that all of this isn't for nothing... I hope that all of this... this pressure I've been under... I hope that it'll all pay off, eventually.

MS. KELLEY:    You mean you hope you become the diamond?

JUDE:    I hope I become something extraordinary.

MS. KELLEY:    So you think of yourself as just ordinary?

JUDE:   Yeah. I mean, no. I just mean... I don't know what I am. I know what I'm not, though, and I know that I'm not extraordinary.

MS. KELLEY:   Why do you think that? Why do you think you're not already extraordinary?

JUDE:    Why? I... I don't know. I just know it's how I feel, but I don't know why that's how I feel.

MS. KELLEY:   Okay, let me ask you a different question, then. Why does it mean to you to be extraordinary?

JUDE: To me?

MS. KELLEY: Mhm.

JUDE: Oh... Well, I guess to me... It's kind of like being a diamond. Strong, doesn't break under pressure... Not just valuable, but priceless... And... I also think that it's being remembered after you're gone; a lasting impression.

MS. KELLEY: Why do you feel like those things don't apply to you?

JUDE: [SCOFFS] I... because they don't? At least not in the way I want them to. If I die—when I die—nobody is going to miss me. My mom might miss having a daughter, the school might miss their cheer captain... But nobody is going to miss me. Nobody is going to miss Jude.

MS. KELLEY: What about your brother, Quinton? You don't think he would miss you?

JUDE: No, no... Quin is my best friend... When I was, um... [SNIFFLES] When I woke up, he was the first thing I thought of. And it was just, like, all at once, I realized how scared he must have been. And I remember hating myself for scaring him.

MS. KELLEY: You can't be angry at yourself for that, Jude. We've talked about this—you need to show yourself grace, give yourself a break.

JUDE:    You keep saying that, Ms. Kelley, but who else's fault could it be besides mine?

MS. KELLEY: It's nobody's fault.

JUDE:    I keep trying to tell myself that that's true, but I'm having a hard time believing it...

[THE RECORDING GOES QUIET FOR ABOUT 2 MINUTES, ALL THAT IS AUDIBLE IS JUDE'S SNIFFLES AND QUIET SOBS.]

MS. KELLEY: You said Quinton is your best friend... Do you have any other friends? Any that are outside of your family?

JUDE:    Um... [SNIFFLES] Not really... I've never really been good at making friends.

MS. KELLEY: Why do you think that is?

JUDE:    Ah, I'm not sure. I think it's because, like, a lot of people already have this preconceived notion of me, you know? People think I'm some sort of perfect angel, and once they already think that highly of me...

MS. KELLEY: It's easier for them to be disappointed in you?

JUDE:    Yeah. I can't live up to their expectations—nobody can live up to those kinds of expectations. But they still expect me to.

JUDE:    Well... Except for one person...

MS. KELLEY: Oh? Who would that be?

JUDE:    Before Quinton was old enough for us to really be close, he used to be my best friend. He was my favorite person in the whole wide world.

MS. KELLEY: What happened?

JUDE:    Well... It's just the tale as old as time. We got older, we started high school... And suddenly we were on two different paths. I was super focused on school still, and he started to become more concerned with his social status, and being popular...

MS. KELLEY: Ahh. So, you had a falling out?

JUDE:    Yeah, something like that.

MS. KELLEY: Do you want to talk about it?

JUDE:    Umm... Maybe some other time? I've been looking at the clock and our time is almost up.

MS. KELLEY: Oh, would you look at that? You're right.

MS. KELLEY:    I have some assignments for you again.

JUDE:    Okay...

MS. KELLEY:    First, I want you to continue practicing those breathing exercises I taught you. Getting good at those will greatly increase your ability to handle stress.

MS. KELLEY:    And then, I want you to try and make some more friends. You're on the cheer team, right?

JUDE:    Yeah, Junior captain...

MS. KELLEY:   Well, there's a perfect place to start. Hang out with a few of the girls outside of practice, go get a milkshake or watch a movie. And at our next session, you can let me know how it goes.

MS. KELLEY:    Okay?

JUDE:    ... Okay.

MS. KELLEY:    Okay. Have a good rest of your day, Jude.

JUDE:    You too, Ms. Kelley.

[THE RECORDING ENDS.]

woah... first chapter kind of... hey guys 😅😅 this is basically the prologue but. this takes place a year before the story starts, and it's just to try and help u get to know miss jude haha... anyways!

thank you to my talented wonderful a amazing wife digitalskin wormery for the beautiful gorjus stunning out of this world banner i love it sm thank you <333