I put my hand threw my hair as I look down at the cafeteria, white floor.

This Instagram account named "TaekookNews," has been getting on my nerves for years. Ever since TaeTae and I met and started hanging out, the account has been posting left and right.

The account even managed in some type of way to get to my own personal photos that were on my phone. Posting them too, saying in the selfies I took by myself, were ones I took while TaeTae was there with me, and causing controversies and people digging into my personal business. People sometimes really can't shut their own mouth.

The person or people behind the account even dug up one on one conversations with my close friends, and posted those too. I never post pictures of TaeTae and I too, or texting conversations so I have no idea what to even think anymore.

The account is mysterious too, nobody knows who is the mastermind behind all this.

Few years ago, I tried to get a whole new identity. I purchased a new phone and got a completely different number. I didn't even give that number to my close friends or TaeTae because I was freaking scared to death that someone was hacking into my phone. If I desperately needed to contact my friends for an emergency, I would use a telephone or payphone near my complex, that was not capable of anything but communication.

No social media too. In my apartment, I covered all the windows that once had white, silky curtains, with pure black shades. I didn't want anyone to be peeking in. Even though I barely took any photos, I put them in a photo album which I created a password for. I didn't leave my apartment unless I had to buy groceries or take my bicycle to school.

It felt like there were eyes staring at me, through the cracks of the school bathroom stalls, through the slit of my apartment door, and through the dark shades of my window.

Despite all of my efforts, and how anonymous I was, pictures of me were still uploaded. Pictures of me in my apartment were posted on the internet for everyone to see. How that meant there was something to hide, like a couple relationship between TaeTae and I. I was miserable because I was trying so hard to keep my personal items and conversations private, but it wasn't working.

TaeTae seems remain the same. Happy and bubbly . He doesn't even realize their is an account dedicated to us being a "couple."

Seriously though, how the fuck are they seeing me do fucking everything? If that doesn't scream creepy I don't know what does!

After seeing that it was no use, I just opened up and stopped protecting everything and I did. There was no point.

...The only things I protected were the things that needed to be protected...

I read through the the entire post word for word, over and over again. Seeing everyone from each of the lunchroom tables eyes on me, waiting for my reaction, I excuse myself from my table. As I walk towards the exit of  the lunchroom, I can hear people whispering, as it is almost dead silence.

"HEY PEOPLE! WHAT CHU LOOKING AT? TURN AROUND OR ELSE SOMEONE'S GETTING KICKED IN THEIR BALLS OR PUSS," Irene yells at the students at the lunch tables who were just still gawking at me. "STOP STARING OR I WHIP ALL OF YOUR ASS-"

I walk up the flights of stairs, panting, breathing in as much air as I possibly can. By the time I reach the top of the long staircase that leads to the school's roof, I have beads of sweat dripping down from my face.

Putting my hand onto the handle, I open the door that opens to the roof. I walk onto the roof of the school building and stare out into the blue sky with big, white shaped clouds floating above me.

I turn my head, sensing that someone was behind me and lucky me I was correct.

It was Yoongi.

"Jungkook we need to talk."

"Cut to the bullshit," I say angrily. I'm tired of playing the pawn in everyone's games.

"Let's pretend that the conversation we had the other day never happened. Tell me what's really holding you back," he says softly.

"I don't know what your implying," I say, snarling at him.

"With Taehyung!" he says a little louder, but he wasn't screaming at me. Yoongi's face was genuine and his expression was honest, full of comfort.

"Do you really want to know?" I ask quietly so only he could hear me. I could feel my lip tremble, but I really didn't want to cry again, so I bit my tongue down hard.

You know that feeling where you're tired of crying and being weak? That's how I feel right now.

"Does it have to do with your parents?" Yoongi asks, looking at me with concern. Yoongi was the only person besides my family who knows the real me.

"It's just so hard to explain..." I say in response. It's true, I don't even know how to get my thoughts straight out about how I'm feeling.

"It's okay, just say it," Yoongi says.

"I just... I don't want to fall in love with someone who's just going to leave me in the end, all alone in the dark to cope with the pain. After years of marriage my dad just decides it's a brilliant idea to divorce with my mom, and marry some blonde, white girl half way across the fucking globe. Without any explanation to why he packed up his bags and left. He doesn't even think about the feelings he hurt in that process. My dad even had the guts to take my older brother with him. Then, my dad and his new and improved family moved to America and then sent my older brother back to Korea to study! My mom and I are replaced by some blond American and a bratty six year old."

I look at Yoongi deeper in his eyes to get a sense of how's he's feeling about my words. I can't make out how he is feeling so I just continue.

"My mom is heartbroken, she's so stern and serious. She barely has any time for me anymore, because she's working in the fashion industry all by herself. My mom is never happy, and I never seen her smile or laugh ever since the divorce. I just don't want someone like my dad... and change myself like my mom did."

"Why should I risk falling in love? What do you get out of falling in love? It's falling into a deep trap that you'll never ever escape. The fierce demons and haunted ghosts just run even faster than you can, even if you have been running for so long. It bites you on your insides until you numb and confused and don't know what to think. Everyone just tells you what to think, so you never actually think for yourself."

Yoongi gives me eyes of empathy as he reaches out for my hand, but I back away from him, separating us. I don't want to feel his touch of pity. I don't want anybody's pity. Nobody should pity me.

"You want to give in because your feelings and emotions can't hold it in any longer, but your brain won't let you. Your brain tells you it's bad for you, it's a drug. When your brain is practically your mental therapist because you're keeping this all inside, and theirs nobody to talk to."

"But even if it's a toxic relationship why do I want the toxic relationship still even if I'm with Taehyung? How come even if Taehyung is a drug that makes or drives me go crazy, I still want him?"

Then, through my nose and my mouth, I don't feel air. I try to get air into my body but I can't breathe. I start choking, without being able to stop. My knees buckle and I can't prevent myself from falling as I hit the roof pavement. My eyelids can't help but flutter open and shut, with black circles could my view of seeing anything.

"Jungkook! Don't black out! Where the fuck is your asthma inhaler?! Shit!"

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『 Word Count: 1462』
『 Author's Note: 』

• Heyyy! What do you simply think of this chapter? Point of views will be switched next chapter! Who's turn do you think is going to tell their chapters about Taekook? [hint: it ain't Taehyung!] (^з^)-☆
• What do you guys think of Irene? Do you think she is harmless like Jungkook thinks? Or do you think something else? m(._.)m
• Why do you think Jungkook didn't tell anybody how he was feeling? (^｡^)
• i purple you! 💜
〜strose1311