https://youtu.be/138EFwZF4Hc

Song: My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Guess What? I'm Not Okay

Genre: teen fiction

I was walking without a care in the world down the concrete sidewalk, towards the dining hall where the camp counselors would be serving a midnight snack. Specifically ice cream. My friend, Andrea was beside me talking about the latest drama in life and what was happening at our camp so far.

"So like I was saying, Jade was being sooooo annoying. Like really, when does she know, like, when to stop? How am I supposed to concentrate on my writing if she keeps on, like, running her mouth," Andrea rambled.

I put up four fingers.

"That's how many times you said 'like' in that one blob of words," I said and laughed.

"Hey, it's not like you like her either," she said back.

I sighed. It was true. I honestly didn't like the girl. Anymore at least... She was too lovely-dovely with all the camp guys. Plus, she annoyed the heck out of the camp girls. A dangerous combo for a person at a camp.

"Look, you can survive two nights and two days more, alright?" I said.

"Oh I know I'm going to survive," she started. "The question is if you will."

"Oh please," I scoffed. "I can survive being with her for at least a week without going insane. In fact I might be able to-"

I was interrupted by Maria, who poked me and pointed behind her. I obviously looked behind myself, but I didn't see anything weird. I mean, it was pretty dark.

"What is it?" I whispered to her.

"Just looked behind you," she replied in a hushed tone.

Again I turned around and saw nothing.

"I don't see anything!" I whisper-screamed to her.

"Look real closely behind you," she started. "I'm pretty sure you'll see something you wouldn't want to see."

"But I didn't see anything before. How do you expect for me to see anything now?!?" I whispered, rather loudly.

"Number 1, lower your voice and Number 2, put on your dang glasses!" she said to me, with a stressed tone.

'Wait, I didn't have my glasses on? Well that explains a lot.' I thought to myself.

I hastily put them on and looked behind me. To my horror, I saw my worst nightmare. Jade was cuddling up to Liam, and he looked okay with it. She had his right arm in a tight lock and her head was basically glued to his chest.

"I'm so cold Liam, could we stay like this?" she asked him and held his arm tighter.

"Sure," he said, with zero emotion.

I forced myself to look forward towards the dining hall and I took my glasses off.

"Hey," Andrea started. "I know this is hard for you, but I'll be here for you. And I'll help you as best as I possibly can."

"Thanks Andrea," I said and wiped away a few stray tears that were unknowingly there.

After this statement, I heard Jade singing a sweet song to Liam. That was the last straw.

I started singing my lungs out so that I couldn't hear her voice and it worked. Meanwhile, Andrea and I sprinted towards the dining hall.

When we got there, I angrily got my ice-cream and went to a room to the side of the dining hall. I placed my chocolate ice cream down and sat down on the soft couch.

I calmed down just a tiny bit, and the anger I had was now replaced with sadness.

Jade used to be one of my good friends. I could always talk to her about everything, well, until she became the way she is today. And during that time, I told her something that I had only told Andrea at the time.

That I had a crush on Liam.

He didn't talk very much around people in general. But whenever he was around people he was comfortable with, he would have this wonderful smile and beautiful laugh.

And to be frank, I didn't talk with him very much until he had helped me with this problem I had. Sure he didn't talk much, but he listened to everything people said around him, and from the things he heard and listened to, he was able to help me.

After that day, I fell in love with him.

"She knew that I loved him," I said, tears pouring out of my face. "If she knew, why would she do that? What does she want to prove?"

"Maybe she's finally picked a boy that's perfect for her," Andrea replied with an unsure tone.

"Why did it have to be him? Why?!?" I screamed and stabbed my ice cream with my spoon.

"I don't know," Andrea said.

"Me either..." I said sadly.

I was switching between anger and sadness. I just couldn't decided which emotion to completely stay on.

"Maybe we're taking it to far?" Andrea suggested.

"Yeah," I said and lit up a bit on the inside. "Maybe this was all just a misunderstanding."

"Hey guys, come and check this out!" a boy said while his head was in the doorway of the dining room.

"What is it?" I asked, but he was already gone.

"Let's check it out!" Andrea said and sprinted towards the dining room.

I followed her and saw something that completely broke my heart.

Liam was making out with Jade.

They stood on a table with many people surrounding them. Liam's hands were all over Jade's back and chest and her hands were cupped to his face.

I collapsed to the floor and was on my knees. I cried and cried and cried, but no one except Andrea could hear me.

Everyone else was too busy wolf whistling or cheering in delight.

I didn't realize how bad my heart could be shattered just by loving someone who didn't have the same feelings as you.

Everything I thought about Liam was wrong. And I didn't need any more proof saying that I was wrong. Because I wasn't.

I slowly got up from the ground, turned around, and walked over to the karaoke machine.

"Faith, are you okay?" Andrea asked while I was walking towards the machine.

I didn't say anything back to her as I continued to stride towards the machine on the stage in front of me.

Once I got there, I plugged my phone into the karaoke machine and grabbed a mic. I created a screeching noise with it, which made everyone turn towards me.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen of the Pocono Heights Camp! Today I will be singing a special song for everyone here!!!" I said into the mic.

Most of the people seemed excited and waited for me to start the song, while others sat bored in a seat. Even the couple's attention was turned towards me.

"This song represents all of the jumbled up feelings that I'm experiencing right now," I said and started the music.

The rock intro started and I swayed back and forth, using the music as a way to express my feelings. Once the intro ending, I started singing my lungs out.

"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way. For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?"

"I'm not okay! I'm not okay! I'm not okay! You wear me out!"

"What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means. To be a joke and look, another line without a hook. I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!"

"I'm not okay! I'm not okay! I'm not okay! You wear me out!"

I pretended to play the guitar as the instrumental was going. People seemed to be cheering my name and had smiles on their faces. Everyone but Liam and Jade.

Jade was disgusted and Liam tried to show no emotion, but I could tell he was unhappy.

I continued singing.

"Forget about the dirty looks. The photographs your boyfriend took. You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed!"

"I'm okay. I'm okay! I'm okay, now. But you really need to listen to me. Because I'm telling you the truth. I mean this, I'm okay!"

"Trust me."

"I'm not okay! I'm not okay! Well, I'm not okay

I'm really not okay! I'm not okay! I'm not okay!"

After I finished, I held the microphone up in the air. Cheers could be heard from almost every person in the dining hall.

I turned my attention straight towards Liam.

"I have a broken spirit, a shattered heart, and guess what?" I said into the mic, after it bringing it down to my lips.

"I'm not okay."