---- [T -> J] ----

J: What's wrong with you?
T: What is wrong with me? Off the top of my head I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of maternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

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T: "There's a father sized emotional void in my life and this valentines day I want you to fill it" is a good card right

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J: Bitch, do I look like the kind of coward that dies?
T: Um????

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T: I burned my hand ;-;
J: Idiot. How?
T: I was printing out pictures of my parents and lighting them on fire

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J: His vibe is "I'm screwed so I can do whatever the fuck I want"
T: It's like nihilism but angrier

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T: my names timmy drake and im here to make things worse on purpose

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J: You can tell a lot about a women by her hands
J: For example, if she's holding a gun she's probably angry

---- [The Schuyler Sisters] ----

T: Why would I fuck a demon? Simple; the status. Imagine u and ur enemies arriving at the gates of hell, they're all crying, scared to death and u just walk into the arms of ur sugar demon. Legendary.
J: it's 3am? Go the fuck to bed?
D: No, wait, he has a point

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D: How was the camping trip?
T: HE TRIED TO KILL ME
J: HE SAID THE BUGS WERE BOTHERING HIM TO I SPRAYED HIM WITH BUG-SPRAY
T: A S S A U L T

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T: i almost got surprise adopted yesterday
J: You what?
D: he almost got kidnaped
J: Yeah I got that fucking part, I meant yOU WHAT

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J: Dickie broke into my room and stole my fucking kidney?! What the shit?!
T: u think that's bad? Dickie stole my coffee once!!
D: i deny both of those claims and i'll see y'all next tuesday

---- [T -> J] ----

J: You're acting like a child!
T: I am NOT acting

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T: is
T: is that a knife under ur pillow
J: a man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one

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J: Why would you need $5000
T: bad night at poker or a great night with a hooker

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T: How're we lookin?
J: Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard
J: Like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless

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J: You can't just ask everyone if they're short a marble every time they say something you disagree with
T: Jay
T: Are you perhaps short a marble? Yes I fucking can

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T: Do you remember that time Dickie and Walls got in one of their fights over pudding Wally's aunt made and the night ended with Roy getting arrested for public indecency, me waking up in a train station in Aberdeen with no memory of getting there, Wally eating everything from Wendy's, and you waking up in Oliver's bathtub??
J: yes of course I fucking remember

---- [All the single ladies] ----

W: God I haven't cha cha slid since middle school
J: I've never seen the cha cha slide referred to in past tense and I am fucking shaken

---- [T -> J] ----

T: Dickie gave me a get better soon card
J: That's sweet
T: I wasn't sick, he just thought I could do better

----

J: Just heard Bruce telling Dickie he had to apologize and Dickie said "Unfuck you, or whatever"

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T: What the hell are you doing?
J: buying music on iTunes?
T: legally?
T: Oh my god, pass me the computer

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J: Seduce me with the science homework answers, baby~

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T: suck my dick, Jerkoff
J: I prefer the phrase: "inhale my richard," but ok...

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J: This is Roy's buildings stray cat. Her name is missy, short for Missile Launcher

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T: YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME IN YOUR HEAD
T: I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER
T: WHISPERING IS THE SAME VOLUME AS SHOUTING AS LOUD AS YOU CAN
J: It's because we think in concepts, idiot
J: concepts have no volume
T: a thought is the loudest silence of all

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J: On the outside, I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying

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T: My aesthetic is the kid on the playground who tells all the other kids that ring around the rosie is about the Black Plague

----

J: So wait, do you prefer men or women?
T: death

----

T: He protec
T: But he also attac

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J: Have a drink
T: I'm working
J: Then sit down and watch me drink

---- [T -> D] ----

D: Timmy are you, by any chance, seeing someone?
T: ya y
D: Well, I just think you'd benefit from seeing a therapist.
T: n thk u :)

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

J: What's that?
T: I locked Roy in the closet
R: LET ME OUT YOU TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN
R: YOUR SUPPOSED TO RESPECT YOUR BETTERS
R: DICKIE WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS A TIMID, TIRED, GOOD PURE BOY?
D: He is!!!
R: HE LOCKED ME IN THE CLOSET
D: Timmy, sweetie, why did you lock RoyBoy in the closet?
T: He was being a dumbass
W: Well, if you were being a dumbass RoyBoy, then there's nothing we can do to help ya. Seems like Timmy's in the right here to me
R: LET ME THE FUCK OUT

----

R: You all have a real-life boyfriend and I'm sleeping with my 23-year-old ex-professor and accidentally did crack the other night
W: I got a new dishwasher!
J: I'm still like 77k behind Dickie in twitter followers
T: I haven't slept in 77 hours!
D: I'm in Venice and I'm pretty sure the hotel clerk who checked me in last night is a ghost

----

T: Also Dickie, if it's really a problem for you, then I'll break up with Jay. 
J: woah, what now? 
T: I'm just kidding Jay. I love you and I wouldn't break up with you for anything in the world. 
J: I love you, nerd.
T: Except Roy. If I could date him then I'd leave you in a split second. 
J: what
R: Awe, I'm flattered, Timato. I'd date you too.
J: WHAT

----

W: Take care of your mental health!
W: Talk about your feelings
W: Keep active
W: Eat a potato
T: Recite a dark spell
R: Throw your phone in a lake
D: Kiss a bird gently (it's me I'm the bird)
J: Make fun of someone you don't like
R: Scowl
T: Lay down in the dirt and let the earth slowly reclaim you
D: Commit a murder
W: Drink some water

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R: wait I thought Clark didn't want to live in the manor?? How did Bruce swing that?
J: He bought Clark's apartment and kicked him out

---- [T -> J] ----

T:  I would not call whatever this is "pleasantly surprising"

----

J: I'm so far gone I actually think this is cute

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T: I want to be a dinosaur
J: Because they're scary?
T: Bc they're dead

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J: He is beauty he is grace he'll call you pathetic to your face

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T: Ur so fucking arrogant!! I will literally never marry you!!
J: enemies to lovers, character death, slow burn, 300k words, angst to fluff-

----