---- [T -> J] ----

J: The worst part about being taken into the Wayne family is that I'm now considered part of the 1%
J: I have become the very thing I claim to despise
T: two things
T: 1) this is why you always lose at monopoly
T: 2) a few years ago a reporter asked Dickie a political question abt how he felt abt being raised by an "enabler of capitalism in its most blatant form" and Dickie sorta rolled his eyes and then right before he entered the press-free zone he looked back over his should and said "Bruce is a socialist," and the media didn't shut up about it for weeks

----

T: I was flipping through one of Bruce's old Gotham Academy year books and I found this old poem??
T: Now I lay me down to study, / I pray the Lord I won't go nutty, / If I should fail to learn this junk, / I pray the Lord, I will not flunk. / But if I do, don't shed a tear; just put a rose behind my ear. / Tell my teacher I did my best, / then pile my books upon my chest. / If I should die before I wake, / That's one less test I'll have to take. - Suffering Student
J: Legend

----

J: I only left you alone for a few hours... How were you immediately arrested and sentenced to death?

----

T: YOU DIDNT TELL IM ID BOIL HIS MOLARS AND FILL HIS SINUSES WITH ASS JUICE AND THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES

----

J: I've always known you were stupid, but not this stupid
T: No really, I'm this stupid
T: And if u don't believe me, watch

----

T: Hey have I mentioned I would die for one (1) Wilbur Soot
J: yes, many times over

----

J: Where did you learn to juggle like that? I didn't even know you could catch
T: saw Dickie do it on tv once like seven months ago

---- [All the single ladies] ----

D: Fuck you guys. Your beautiful.
W: Awww, fuck you too

----

D: Wally come'ere
W: Sure, Dick
J: It's actually Dickiebird so shut the fuck up
D: This is so sad, Timmy play Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo

---- [T -> J] ----

J: Just walked in on Dickie cleaning under his nails with a dagger??
T: That's Wack he passed the vibe check so

----

T: I like wearing all black to mourn the death of my patience.

----

J: Dickie's out with Wally and Roy trying not to have a meltdown around his two gay lovers, Alfred is grocery shopping, and Bruce is walking around all "I don't have feelings, just muscles"
J: If you don't get your ass over here I'm going to lose my fucking mind
T: I dunno, Jay, I'm kinda busy
J: Yeah? You know crying because you hate yourself and watching Bojack doesn't actually count as "busy," right?
T: ....im on my way

----

T: r u watching the news rn??
T: Vandalism
J: This villain ripped a hole through the fabric of our dimension and the best you can come up with is vandalism?

----

J: What kind of pizza do you want for lunch
T: Canadian bacon and onion with artichoke hearts
J: Excuse me?
T: Make sure not to get ham or pineapple tho
T: 'cause that's disgusting

----

T: it's like I always say; quality over quantity
J: For the last fucking time, that does not apply to sleep

----

J: You ok over there?
T: except 4 my head injury, no

----

T: it's against my nature to shut up so

----

J: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves
T: Calling me a devil, Jason-jerkoff? Original
J: Actually, I was calling you a goat
J: You goat

----

T: Its wild how Dickie always insists "shut up, we're not dating" whenever you make fun of him and Wally and Roy and then as soon as you yell up the stairs "Dickie your boyfriend is here" he yells back "which one??"
J: It's fucking ridiculous is what it is; Wally's a mess and Roy's a drunk and yet they both have a better shot at Dickie than anyone else on the planet

----

J: Dude, you need to loosen up
T: u don't think I'm a freak?
J: Of course not
T: U think I'm cool?
J: Of course not

----

T: Dickie and Walls walked past my room arguing about how to solve whatever problem they've created this week and Dickie yelled "I'm telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem!"
T: and then Wally didn't argue

----

J: What do you want for dinner tonight?
T: u

----

T: k so
T: i calculated it
T: and it would only take about 400 people to get enough iron to forge a steel longsword
J: What
T: u kno how ppl always talk abt swords "forged with the blood of enemies"
T: i calculated it and if u drained the blood from about 400 adult men and extracted the iron from it, u would have enough for a longsword
T: forged from the blood of ur enemies
J: That's... neat
T: ikr

---- [J -> W] ----

J: WALLY
J: ANSWER ME NOW
J: H
J:JDN
J: COM
J: ZKNW
J: CH
J: GX
W: what the fuck Jay
W: leave me be
W: I'm watching a very crucial YouTube video
J: IT'S ABOUT TIMMY STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE
W: GOOGLE TRANSLATING DICKIES NEW SINGLE FOR 15 MINUTES CAN WAIT
W: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE

---- [T -> D] ----

T: His jawline could honestly murder me. Who allowed that prick to have such a nice face shape. Fuck him.
T: What's the official diagnosis, Doc?
D: You may want to sit down for this
D: It looks like you've done a gay
T: FUCK

---- [T -> J] ----

T: You should cook me dinner, you make the best food
J: No.
T: Love of my life
J: No.
T: Stars in my sky
J: No.
T: my drink of water in the driest of deserts
J: Fuck off.
T: my diamond in a mountain of pebbles
J: Stop.
T: my fucking cinnamon apple
J: FUCKING FINE

----

J: I'd walk through fire for you
J: ok maybe not fire, but a very humid room
J: But not too humid, because my hair

----

T: Smut tho?
J: Smut though

----

J: Tragic
T: Not as Tragic as ur face
J: Uncalled for
T: Ur face is uncalled for too but do u see me complaining

----

T: Technically speaking I can put a safety pin in a piercing right right
T: I cAn
J: You?? Don't have piercings??? Right???
T: oop
J: What

----