---- [T -> J] ----

T: Security at this company is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
J: Yeah, imagine

----

J: Timmy?
T: Wha
J: If we were in a zombie apocalypse and I got bit, would you kill me?
T: No, I'd let you bite me so we could be dead together
J: thats fucking stupid, I'd blow your fucking head off in a heartbeat. You would not survive

----

T: I have four grapefruits. Would you like one? I have but four but I will share one with you for I am kind and honest.

---- [All the single ladies] ----

W: oKay I have jobs for everyone
W: Jay, your selling raffle tickets
J: I'm your man :)
T: Dont yell at the costumer
J: I'm kinda your man
D: And smile
J: I'm a little bit your man?
R: And no smoking
J: You need another man

----

W: Does anyone have any questions
T: Do you think Yogi Bear killed someone for that hat and tie? He's a bear, he can't go buy it
W: About the plan
T: oh
T: Yeah, what is it? I was too busy thinking about Yogi Bear to pay attention

----

W: You're a loose cannon, Dick
D: No I'm not. A cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
T: I think you play by your own rules
J: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken
W: those are all attributes of a loose cannon!
D: no, I'm just reckless. Roy is a loose cannon. Yesterday he doused a chair in whiskey, threw his cigarette at it, picked it up while it was on fire and threw it off the balcony of his seventh floor apartment

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

R: God I loved these when I was younger, I had one named Harold
W: Roy that's a wine opener
R: I know
D: Do you wanna talk about your childhood?
R: Fuck off

---- [T -> J] ----

T: Now hit the showers. Take your time. Come up with other reasons why God shouldn't smite you where you stand and I'll shoot those arguments down when you come back

----

J: I didn't say I'm better than you, but you're not better than me and we're not equally good so that leaves me being better than you

----

T: Dickie threw his phone at me and told me to tell Wally he was abt to jump off of Wayne Enterprises cuz Wally hadn't talked to him in thirty minutes and?? Y does he have so many group chats???
J: I know, there's the one the three of us have, The Schuyler Sisters
T: Proof god is dead
J: The Three Muskequeers
J: All the single ladies
T: One with Bruce and Clark, One with Barry, Hall, and Iris (but not Wally????), also??? A locked one called No Man's Land??
T: Holy shit he has Slade saved as a contact??
T: Under the name Slady Gaga

----

J: There will be no bitchin' in my fuckin' kitchen

----

T: Dearly Beloved, we're gathered here today because a backstabbing little bitch got exactly what was coming to him
T: it's my going away party, because I'm throwing myself into the void after this
T: welcome, enjoy the free cake
T: or don't

----

J: Timmy, what would I do without you?
T: Roy, probably

----

T: UR SO HOT I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE
J: And they say romance is dead

----

J: GET THE FUCK OUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
T: I AM CHAOS

----

T: r u sure? Cause Mr. Fizzles can sense when ur being a LIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAARRRRRRR

---- [J -> W] ----

J: Except for the fact that I apparently decided to kiss him instead of punch him. Huh. I still can't figure that one out.
W: I understand that you guys have a love/hate relationship, but most people alternate between those emotions. They don't experience them at the same time. This isn't what I meant when I said to go for it.

---- [The Schuyler Sisters] ----

D: Hey Timmy, nice too
T: thanks
J: I have a fucking name

----

D: I can sense the scowl from here
J: Because my room is literally fucking beside yours you fucking dumbass, you're in my scowl radius

----

D: WHAT is a note doing in the fridge?
D: This is not for your homework, this is our kitchen!
D: What does this note even say?
D: 'To Dickie' WHO LEFT ME A NOTE IN THE FRIDGE? Did somebody eat my snacks again?!
D: 'hey I really, really, lov'- is this some kind of threat?! Somebody wants to fight!?
D: Who left me this note in the fridge, you guys?!

---- [T -> J] ----

J: how the fuck did you set a lemon on fire??
T: microwave for 40 minutes 😞
J: why were you microwaving a lemon?!
T: I read that boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I can't reach any of the pots
J: you burnt an orange too?? Why??? How???
T: microwave for 40 minutes 😞

----

T: I am VERY laid back! I only care about two things!
J: and they are?
T: every person on earth & their opinion of me
T: and the crushing phycological weight of being alive

----

J: I would like a hot tea
T: and I don't work at a café
T: what kind tho
J: I haven't decide yet, what's your name?
T: ...
T: did you just call me a hottie?

----

J: I understand that normal is subjective, but I can't say I see this everyday

----

T: I refuse to have this negativity within my eyesight. Remove urself at once.

----

J: You know I could take you apart with one blow, right?
T: I could take you apart with less than that

----

T: when u get done with work and ur like im free... and then u remember ur never free from the ironclad chains of society: :(

----

J: You know the most inspiring thing you've ever said to me?
T: "Don't be an idiot"?
J: Changed my life

----

T: This is tied for the most terrifying day of my life!
J: Tied with what
T: Every other freaking day of my life

----

J: Admit it! You like Robin!
T: So you admit there are two!
T: and, come on! I mean, am I attracted to Robin? Sure. Do my nights feel better when I spend them with him? Yeah. Does he get me in ways no one ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about him? Yes, but only in six positions
J: So, you like him
T: No
T: He's probably with someone anyway
T: And, ok, am I the kind of guy who would try and steal someone's boyfriend? Sure, of course. But do I like Robin? The answer is no, not even a little bit

----