<><><><><>

Jo

I was dozing. I don't know how much time had passed but it didn't really seem to matter at this moment. I was draped across his bare chest, one of his hands was buried possessively in my hair while the other moved in long, soothing lines up and down my spine. I wanted to stay here all night. His bed was warm and safe and if I could just keep dozing I could forget what was beyond this room. What we had to do tonight.

Unfortunately, as soon as the thought crossed my mind I was awake, worrying and over analyzing the plan. There were so many things that could go wrong tonight and I finally felt like things were starting to go right. Negan's heart thundered out a perfectly steady rhythm beneath my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to force myself to stay in the moment and stay as calm and relaxed as he felt.

He leaned up and brushed his lips across the top of my head. "I can actually feel you thinking," his voice rumbled beneath my ear, low and sexy.

I groaned and tried to snuggle closer to him. His hand stilled on my back and he held me tighter against him. "That bad?" I complained.

He snorted and it moved his chest. "I can practically see the smoke coming out of your ears," he chuckled and his hand tightened in my hair affectionately.

I sighed. "I can't stop thinking about it," I told him honestly. "There's a lot that could-"

Negan interrupted me. "Just relax sweetheart it's in the bag." Negan's confidence didn't make me feel better.

"What time is it?" I asked.

He leaned his head back so he could see the clock behind him. "Forty minutes," he said flopping back down on the bed.

I groaned and wrapped both arms around him. I needed to get up. I needed to get back to my room and get changed, check my weapons and check in with Kate if there was time. I hadn't spoken to her since that morning and a lot had changed since. She needed to know I was going tonight. As much as I didn't want to get into it with her it wasn't fair to her for me to leave without saying something.

Negan and I lay together in comfortable silence for a few more moments. It was hard to get up. After being so opposed to being touched for so long, now I felt starved for it. His hands were firm but gentle. If I were a cat I would have been purring. I moved my hand across his chest enjoying the warmth of his skin.

"I need to get up. Get ready," I said forcing myself to pull away.

Negan tensed, locking his arms around me. I grunted and scowled down at him playfully.

"Stay here," he ordered gruffly. I lifted an eyebrow and his face turned uncharacteristically serious. "Don't come with tonight," he clarified.

I snorted at him. "You need me." I said in a teasing voice because I didn't really want this to turn into a fight. Things with Negan were finally good and I didn't want us to be at each other's throats over this.

"I am plenty scary all on my own," he assured me rolling me over so his body pinned me to the mattress. His lips found my neck again and I shivered beneath him.

I sucked in a breath and tried to not let him distract me. "Sure," I said, struggling to keep my voice casual as his lips grazed the sensitive skin under my ear and my toes curled.

"I am sweetheart," he assured me. His voice was a sexy rumble in his chest and his teeth grazed my neck.

I couldn't help the noise I made in my throat, and his chuckle was low and pleased. I rocked my hips against him and his breath caught in his throat. It was a giddy feeling to know I could effect him as much as he effected me. I hooked my leg around his hips and rolled him so I was back on top.

"Mmm," he groaned and he moved beneath me.

I locked my thighs around his, forcing him to remain still. "Not as scary as we are together," I said firmly, but even trying to be serious I couldn't stop the matching smirk that stretched across my face.

He crossed his arms behind his head and smirked up at me looking incredibly pleased with himself. "Well, it's hard to argue with that."

"So don't," I warned him. "I'm going," I said firmly, tightening my thighs.

The smirk stilled on his face. "You're hurt," he said looking suddenly serious.

"It's a scratch," I said dismissively. I sat up, still straddling him. The sheet dropped to pool around my waist. The air was chilly but Negan was warm.

Negan's eyes darkened and he bit his lower lip. He ran his eyes over me, looking incredibly pleased with himself. His hands side up my back and his fingers grazed along the edge of my bandage. He turned suddenly very serious. "It's a scratch that went down to the bone and required sub-dermal stitches," he pointed out. His voice was tight and carefully controlled.

I gave him a look of disbelief. "I've had worse, and fought through it. I assure you."

His eyes darkened again but this time it wasn't from desire. His hand closed over the back of my neck and pulled me down into his chest. He wrapped both arms around me and held me protectively against his chest. His heartbeat was thundering faster than before.

"You don't have to do this anymore," he said into my hair.

I pulled back, pushing myself up on my hands so I could look him in the eyes. "I'm good at this," I said firmly. "Scary good. Right?" Negan opened his mouth to respond and I pressed my finger against his lips and gave him my most severe look. "This is what I can contribute. It's a waste of resources to only have me training recruits. Odds are good we will lose less people if I go. Weaknesses into strengths, remember?"

He groaned and flopped back down against the bed draping an arm over his eyes. "I shoulda known that was going to come back and bite me in the ass."

I smirked down at him and swung my leg off of him, climbing to my feet. "Your words boss man not mine. I just drank the coolaid," I said smartly.

I bent down to pick up my jeans and suddenly Negan was behind me. He collared my throat with one hand and the other dropped to grip my hip. He dragged me backwards until my back hit his chest. The long line of his body was hot against my cooling skin. His arousal pressed against my low back and my mind went blank.

His lips brushed against my ear. "I love it when you call me boss," his voice was a low growl in my ear as his breath fanned against my neck. The tips of his fingers glided across my hip bone. I leaned back into him, wanting more.

"Don't get used to it," I warned, but my voice was breathy and unconvincing.

He chuckled suggestively and the hand at my throat pulled me tighter against him. I collapsed my weight against his chest, leaning my head back giving him more access. My body was soft and compliant in his hands. He kissed his way down my neck as his fingers skimmed down my thigh. I moaned.

"Yes, ma'am," he growled.

It took every piece of self control for me to step forward and pull away from him. Negan's hands lingered but he let them drop as I turned back to face him, a teasing smirk on my face. He watched me with hooded eyes. I rested a hand against his chest to steady myself and went up on tiptoes so I could whisper in his ear. "I like it when you call me ma'am," I teased and I grazed the shell of his ear with my teeth.

He made a noise low in his throat and I stepped back. If he touched me again I wasn't going to leave. I scooped up my pants and pulled them on. He watched me through hooded eyes but he kept his hands to himself. I pulled on my shirt and scooped up my shoulder harness, looping it through one arm like a backpack.

"I've got a couple things to take care of. I'll see you at the gates in half an hour."

Negan smiled and it reminded me of a wolf. "Yes, ma'am."

I changed quickly. We were going to make a statement and I was an integral part of that statement so I had to look the part if I was going to be standing at Negan's side. I wore skinny, black leather pants, motorcycle boots and a tight black Henley. I unbuttoned a few extra buttons than I normally would have so I was flashing some cleavage. I ran some product through my hair and even put on make up. Standing in front of the mirror I hardly recognized myself. I wasn't the woman who The Governor had kept in a cage anymore. I didn't look like anyone's idea of a victim. But I also didn't look like the wife, mother and student I had been before the turn either. I was somebody new. I just wasn't sure if this was someone I liked or not.

I didn't have time to philosophize however, so as usual I pushed those thoughts away and only allowed myself to focus on the present.

I pulled on my shoulder harness and thigh sheath, checking each of my knives twice to make sure they would draw easily. Lastly I shrugged into my new leather jacket as I made my way out of my door. I had just pulled it open when someone appeared on the other side.

I flinched, my hand dropping to a knife before I even had a chance to process who it was.

"Jo!" Kate's voice was as overly loud and upbeat as usual. I quickly dropped my hand before she noticed I had reached for a knife. I didn't want to scare her.

"Hi Katie," I greeted surprised to see my sister standing in front of me. She hadn't come to visit me in a long time. I normally had to track her down.

She looked me over and frowned. "Why are you dressed like that?"

I shifted self consciously. "Like what?"

"Like you're about to-" Kate dragged off and disbelief flickered across her face. "You're going tonight too aren't you?" She challenged as though she were daring me to prove her wrong.

"Too?" I asked, frowning.

Kate let out a disgruntled sigh and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Both Tommy and Merle are going on some run tonight. They won't say where," she frowned and looked me over again. "Must be some run," she said almost to herself.

I crossed my arms over my chest self consciously.

Kate as usual was entirely oblivious to my feelings and she cocked her head as she continued to scrutinize me. "Anyway, why are you going on a run? I thought your job was training people. I didn't think you did stuff like that...and aren't you and Negan on the outs? You said before that's why you haven't taken in any more work right? I mean you said you hadn't spoken to the guy in like forever, so why-" Kate for once stopped herself from talking. She frowned for a minute and then stared hard into my face. "Are you and Negan still on the outs?"

Finally, she paused long enough for me to get a word in but I didn't know what to say. I licked my lips and opened my mouth but nothing came out. "I-" I started but I didn't know how to explain what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. So much had changed and I barely understood it.

Kate went very still, and then she stepped closer, studying my face suspiciously from only inches away. She pursed her lips as though I were hiding something from her. "Oh my god," she snapped, her eyes suddenly bugging out. "Did you-?" She slapped a hand over her mouth. "You did! You totally did N-"

"Stop it," I growled glancing past her to the hallway beyond to make sure no one was close enough to hear our conversation. I certainly didn't regret what had happened between us, but I didn't exactly know where we stood now. I wasn't ready to answer the inevitable questions, not when there were other, more important things going on.

But Kate being Kate just continued bullishly without listening. "Did you seriously screw Mr. Hot Pants?" She enthused.

"What? No. I-" I started to say, anything to get her to stop but I recognized that gleam in Kate's eye.

"I bet he was amazing. I mean that ego has to come from somewhere, am I right?" Kate wiggled her eyebrows. "You have to tell me everything."

"What? No! That's private I-"

"So you did screw the boss!" she said triumphantly and I realized in that moment she had me. She had gotten me to confirm it had happened.

I cupped my forehead in my hand. Kate really was a force of nature. If Negan ever had more prisoners to interrogate he wouldn't need me there to help intimidate them into talking. All he needed to do was turn Kate loose on them for five minutes and she would have them singing like a canary.

"Yes I'm going on the run," I finally said, unable to keep the exhaustion out of my voice.

Kate smirked down at me knowingly, but she didn't push the point any further. And why would she? I had already given her the answer she wanted. I turned and started down the hallway towards the gate. I would be early but I didn't want to keep having this conversation.

"So are you like his wife now?"  Kate asked easily stretching her long legs to keep up with me.

"What? No!" I snapped defensively, because I absolutely refused to let him refer to me as that. Negan had made that word meaningless.

Unaware of my turn of thoughts Kate continued. "Well you know he got rid of the others for you so clearly-"

"Kate," I snapped. "Enough."

Kate sucked in a breath and looked down at me. Whatever she saw on my face had her nodding.

We walked the rest of the way down to the courtyard in peaceful silence. Kate looked over the gathered men. "So you're leaving," she said.

"I'll be back," I promised her.

"You're all leaving," she said and suddenly my brazen sister sounded incredibly young.

I paused and turned to face her.

She blinked rapidly and clenched her hands together. "You, Tommy and Merle are all going," she clarified jerking her chin to where the others were chatting together near the cart where they were handing out weapons for the run.

"We'll be back before dawn," I promised her.

She opened her mouth once to say something but Negan swaggered up to us. "Hopefully sooner if everything goes according to plan," Negan slid an arm across my shoulders pulling me into his chest. "Don't you worry your pretty little head Katie. I'll get your sister home before you know it," he said with a teasing smile.

Kate snorted and lifted her chin defiantly and she leveled her gaze on me. "Make sure you bring the boss back in one piece," she commanded, then she lifted a brow as though daring him to contradict her.

I smirked back at her. "I'll do my best."

Negan snorted, shook his head and walked away from us towards the others. "Alright assholes, let's load up!" he called loudly. The others started filing towards the waiting trucks.

Kate stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me in a quick hug. "Be safe, kick ass," she said in a low voice. Then she stepped back and left me to speak with Tommy.

"Jo with me!" Negan called from the weapons cart. Negan didn't look at me as he pulled out a handful of additional knives and guns.

By the time he was done I had fifteen knives, a rifle over one shoulder and a hand gun under my left arm and Negan still didn't look satisfied. He would never admit it, but he was worried. He pressed his lips together as he led the way towards the truck. We rode together in the truck with Merle driving. If Merle noticed anything different between Negan and I he didn't say anything, but the tension in the air was thick with the weight of what was to come. I had never been on a run like this, and if I was completely honest I was a little nervous. This wasn't just mindlessly fighting biters. That I could do. This was something else entirely. We had to be strategic about this. If things went south I would be fighting side by side with our people. And that had me more worried than anything else. I didn't know what was going to happen or if I would be able to control myself. I clenched my hands into fists and stared out into the night.

Merle drove through the dark, keeping the lights off. I wasn't sure how exactly he managed to keep it on the road, but he did.

He pulled off next to two trucks and I remembered Negan had sent Simon ahead to scout the area. We climbed out of the truck. Simon was waiting. He nodded respectfully to Negan.

"How we looking?" Negan asked and I wasn't sure if anyone else would notice but he seemed tense as well. This was new territory for him as well.

"Everything they said was true," Simon confirmed.

Negan smirked. "Alright, let's do this," he said and that cold, calculating mask was firmly in place. He turned back to the people gathered around us. "All right boys and girls here we go," Negan announced pacing in front of his people. "We are going to run this one a little differently," he flashed his wolf smile.

<><><><><>

Negan

It wasn't really a hotel, but one of those piece of shit roadside motels my wife used to refuse to stay in. It was a two story building. With a courtyard in the middle where the motel pool used to be. Each room opened to the external balcony all of which faced out. The plans Matt had given us so far were right.

The leader of the group stepped out onto the balcony. He looked over our people who were fanned out around us. I had another dozen further back in the woods outta sight ready to come charging in if things went south. He was hard looking for someone with a home base. He was built like a fighter. His eyes scanned my people and he didn't look concerned in the slightest. It made me wonder if our intel was any good or if Matt and Scotty boy had sent us straight into a trap. We had a lot of resources at The Sanctuary. It made me want to snatch up my walkie and call back to Regina to make sure everything was secure at home.

Beside me Jo shifted her weight restlessly and I was sure she was thinking the same damn thing. She was holding a rifle in her hands and I knew she didn't like it. My girl would always feel better with knives in her hands instead of guns, but it made me feel better to know she was armed to the teeth. I didn't like that she was here but she had agreed to stick close to me. Plus unbeknownst to her Merle, Tom and Dwight were all assigned to not let her out of their sight.

If she found out chances were good she would want to kick my ass. I glanced sideways out of the corner of my eye at her. She looked sexy as hell and I wanted to wrap this up as fast as possible and get her back into my bed pronto.

"We haven't met," I called to the other leader, flashing him a dangerous smile. "Hi, I'm Negan. Now you don't know me but-"

"I've heard of you," the leader interrupted.

My smile widened. "Perfect. Saves time when your reputation proceeds you," I twirled Lucille theatrically.

"Why are you here?" the leader asked leaning forward aggressively.

Beside me Jo coiled another round tighter. I cracked my neck, trying not to get distracted by her and looked up at him. "You know Matt, right? He's got this little group of people, live in an old satellite station," I continued like I didn't have a care in the goddamn world. I pressed the end of Lucille into the ground and leaned against it casually. "Now, him and his people are in a tough way. People are sick, they're down on resources...now old Matty came to pay me visit. Seems when what few sprightly people they had left made a run you and yours came knocking on their door and took what they had. Now, normally I would congratulate you on recognizing an easy score, however, in this case your asshole decision is costing people their lives. And in this world...people are a resource."

To be honest I was surprised he let me get so far into my speech. I kept waiting for him to give the order for his men to attack but he was politely listening. Which meant either we were outgunned and he wasn't worried about the fight, or that we had them outmanned and he was hoping I would keep talking and buy him time to come up with a plan.

"What are you some kind of hall monitor?" the man asked sarcastically and I was betting it was the former.

I smirked up at him. "The hall monitor from hell," I said flashing an aggressive smile. "So, here we are. Now I'm not going to demand you return everything you took. Your men risked their lives and you gotta eat to, but I am going to insist you hand back over the meds."

"You insist?" the man asked and he started chuckling, elbowing the man beside him like I had just told the funniest damn joke he had ever heard. "You and what army."

My smile grew. "This is gonna be your last warning," I said calmly. "You got women in there?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "Kids?"

"Why?" The man challenged. "What's it to you?"

I shrugged casually but inside I was pissed as hell he would risk innocent lives for his ego. It was his job to protect those people. "Do yourself a favor. Don't make this hard. There's no reason we can't all get along."

"Get along?" The other man snorted. "So I just hand over the meds and what? You and your men just walk away?"

I barked out a laugh. "Of course not. What kind of a lesson would you learn from that? You hand over the missing meds and me and mine help ourselves to half your supplies, for our trouble."

The man pulled back in surprise. I flashed him a smile that had too much teeth. "For the next six months." I added and I was pleased as punch I got to stick it to an asshole like this. Anyone who pretended to be a leader but didn't actually take care of his people deserved every bit of what was coming his way.

The man's hand dropped to his gun and a smirk stretched across my face.

I picked up Lucille and gave her a twirl. "However, if you force us to fight you. Force us to kill your men..." I shook my head sadly. "Well then...you'll force my hand...we'll be back once a month for however long a group of miserable bastards like you live for. So-"

And the gunfire started. Honestly it took longer than I expected. Instinctively, I turned towards Jo. I looped and arm around her waist and pulled her into my chest, using my body as a shield as I dragged her behind the truck. She felt so goddamn small in my arms it made me want to drag her out of there. What the hell had I been thinking bringing her into this mess?

"Fire!" I yelled to my people.

<><><><><>

Jo

It was absolute chaos all around us. Bullets were flying everywhere. Negan was crouched beside me, a protective hand resting on my low back as he angled his body so there was no chance of me being hit. He was barking out orders to our people. There was nothing we could do until our back up arrived and I knew the moment they did. The plan was for the dozen soldiers Negan had left in the woods to come around and attack the motel from behind.

There was suddenly shouting from inside and the power was cut. The people holding the front didn't relent however. The plan had been for them to scatter enough for us to get in, but that wasn't happening. If we didn't get into that motel our cavalry was about to be slaughtered.

"Alright boys and girls, it's go time!" Negan called loudly. "We gotta get our asses in there!" He was about to turn back to me. I knew he was going to order me to stay behind or at his side or something equally as ridiculous, but I had another idea. I rolled under the truck and came out on the other side. My shoulder throbbed but it was an easy pain for me to push past. I swept the rifle in a arc of bullets across their men trying to keep us back providing my own cover.

I heard yelling behind me but I was too focused to listen. There was a hail of bullets as my people gave me cover. I shot my way up the staircase and then threw the rifle behind me, hoping my people would get it. Now that we were in close quarters my knives would be better.

It was absolute chaos as my people rushed in from both sides and the community here fought to hold their territory. I only hoped none of our people came at me. I wasn't in control. I didn't see the faces of the men I fought, they weren't exactly real people. I let all the dark places in my head take control as I slashed and stabbed and twirled and kicked and punched as I worked my way towards their leader. Our entire plan hinged on our ability to subdue him as quickly as possible.

I threw a few of my blades but for the most part I didn't need to. Behind me there was more yelling. It sounded like people were saying clear. Behind me our men were going room to room like the organized unit they were.

I wasn't a part of that. I wasn't capable of stopping. Not now that I had spotted the threat.

Their leader was crouched down behind the half wall of the balcony shouting orders. He was only one hundred feet ahead of me. I could throw a knife twenty feet with near perfect accuracy. I needed to get closer. I pushed my body harder. Faster.

I fought my way so I was only fifty feet away when he acknowledged his people were being overrun. He climbed to his feet and bolted. I didn't think, didn't consider it could be a bad idea or potentially dangerous. I just took off after him.

"Jo!" someone bellowed my name but I couldn't be sure who it was. I didn't think, I just ran.

He ducked into the first door, slamming it behind him. I paused long enough to kick it open. The cheap frame yielded under my boot. I ran into the dark room.

"Goddamnit Jo!" were the last words I heard before the door slammed closed and I was hit from behind.

<><><><><>

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long! This was a difficult chapter for me to write. I hope you enjoy it!