Explicit Language.

Chat had had enough, completely. He couldn't cope. He couldn't not know who she was. It was tearing him apart. All he wanted was to reveal himself to her, for him to see if maybe he had a chance as his true self, but Adrien Agreste was nothing more than his father's puppet.

Ladybug wouldn't give a shit about a pushover like that.

"Fuck it."

He'd only stubbed his toe on patrol but it was enough to set him off.

"Chat?"

"Fuck it!"

"Chat -"

She placed a hand on his arm gently and he flinched, throwing it off.

"Oh for crying out loud -"

"Chat, what's wrong?"

He knew she was genuinely concerned for him now, but what could he say? (It didn't help that he was pissed off as hell.) Oh yeah, sorry you're the only thing I can think about night and day and I do love you; I want to show you all of me but you won't listen to me and you won't because you don't want to endanger our secret identities? Also please consider letting me hold your waist and let me see the eyes behind that mask, I just want to know who you are and take you out on a date and hold you close...

"You should know of all people!"

Ladybug turned to him angrily.

"Why would I know what's making you upset? Why is it my fault that you're feeling irritable, when we just get out onto patrol, that you suddenly decide to take your anger out on me?" She stopped herself from continuing, fiddled with her thumb and sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped." When he didn't reply she looked up at him. "Seriously, what's wrong?" He closed his eyes and deliberately didn't turn his head.

"Ladybug -"

He breathed.

"What?" Her eyes were wide and her gaze was soft. "It's okay. I'm your partner. I'm here for you."

"Ladybug -" he whispered.

"Chat?"

He finally dragged his eyes up to meet hers.

"You're driving me insane."

Now, he knew she hadn't expected that one coming. She closed her eyes and breathed hard; he could see her throat contract as she swallowed, hard.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I think you realise by now," he muttered, "that you are stunning and I can't stop myself thinking about you. God - Ladybug, I don't even know your name but I'm in love with you, and - fuck - I'm mad you made that happen! I'm mad that you made me believe in something that I didn't think was possible! I never thought I could love someone like I love you and - my god, I know you don't want to reveal yourself and that I totally understand but I just hope that you realise quite how insane this is driving me, loving someone and not even knowing what they look like outside a spandex suit or how their name sounds. I want to know it. God I want to know, but it's you and I can't force anything from you because in the end you'd be hurting and I'd be the one doing the damage when I know that you won't reveal that to me, because you want to protect our identities and I just, I couldn't hurt you. I could never hurt you."

Ladybug didn't speak. What was she supposed to say? What could she say, after that outburst? Chat didn't even look at her, just hid his face in his hands: rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair repeatedly.

"Chat," she whispered, "genuinely, I didn't -"

"Realise it actually meant something?" He grinned, half halfheartedly, his eyes downcast. There was no light in his eyes, no laughter behind that smile. But there was no malice either. It was obvious he was preparing for rejection. "I didn't do it for nothing, my lady. There was always something there, but I just knew you didn't want to believe me or just straight up didn't. I guess, I just hoped, I suppose."

"Chat -" she whispered again, "I want to love you."

And with those words, his heart was sinking like a lead anchor.

"I want to love you. I want to be able to make you happy, and I want you to find someone to love who isn't me, because I can't return anything that you give me. I'm not capable of that. I love someone else and to be with you like you need me to would be unfair on me and to you too. I couldn't hurt you like that. I couldn't kiss you and then tell you it meant nothing. That would break you and I can't do that to you. I do love you, though Chat, I love you like the brother I never had. You're my other half and I couldn't do anything without you."

"My lady," Chat breathed, taking her hand and kissing it gently. Ladybug inhaled sharply, tears running down her mask. "You don't have to do anything. I don't want you to. I just wanted you, to, to know..."

"Chat -"

"It's alright," he smiled weakly, wiping his eyes with his glove. "I'll get over you. I won't stop loving you though. I couldn't. You're far too spectacular for that."

Without another word, he had disappeared into the Parisian night, a mere silhouette against the city lights. Ladybug watched him leave almost wistfully.

She wondered how long she'd been falling for two people, at the same time.