If I killed someone for you ~ Alec Benjamin.

Love me or leave me ~ Little Mix.

I throw myself at the locked door, crying out in frustration. The darkness has enveloped me with its cold embrace and I cringe away from its icy touch. It keeps drawing me in tighter with every moment I scream.

Everything and nothing folds into me, constricting my lungs until I am gasping with dizziness and an urge to vomit. I hold my head in my hands, trying to tear into my skull with hysteria and everything from the past couple of months is catching up with me and I am falling. I am falling into the abyss.

     .....................flashes.................

"I told you, you'd pay blondie."

"No!" I scream.

"He will never be happy with you. I'll make sure of that!"

"Please let me out! Keep him away from me!" I ram on the door feeling my last bit energy leave my body.

My lungs feel tightened and I gasp for air desperately.

"I- I- I ca-can't br-breathe...."

                              ***
Everything feels dark. Pitch black but weirdly enough, it feels comfortable. My head is resting comfortably. I'm warm.

I open my eyes to meet the sight of a pillow. White sheets covering me. Am I..? Am I on an actual bed?

My eyes struggle to open and feel swollen. They are already welling up with tears as reality comes rushing to hit me. The familiar walls give away where I am. My room...

"Good you're awake," Harry's voice startles me.

I sit up quickly trying to get away from him. He sits on the edge of the bed looking at me intensely. Something weird is happening. He doesn't seem like himself. I've seen that look before. The way his eyes are bloodshot, teary and pupils dilated, he is high on something.. Or various things.. I don't know. But I'm scared.

"Oh honey, are you that afraid of me?" He sarcastically asks.

He moves closer and takes my hand in his. I'm very confused by his actions right now. He pulls me to himself and I don't fight. Once we are closer to each other, he cups my cheeks, keeping his eyes closed. Some locks of hair fall effortlessly on his face.

He then opens his eyes. Tears look like they're about to flow with only one blink of an eye.

"Harry-" I move my hand to touch his face but he grabs my wrist midway, stopping me from making contact.

He pulls me into a hug. Embracing me so gently. Running his hand through my hair. Weird enough I can feel his heartbeat on my chest.

"Why? Why him?" Harry whispers.

"This- this is a huge misunderstanding Harry."

"Misunderstanding huh?" He scoffs and pushes me away.

"Yes. If you'd let me, I can explain everything I promise. Please." I hold his hand.

He helps me get out of bed and I'm not sure where this is going. Taking my chin in his fingers, he stares at my lips and kisses me softly. It all starts out really gentle and slow then the hunger and need grows.

"Are- you- working-with- him?" Harry asks in between the kisses.

"No!" I answer him firmly.

We move across the room until we get to my dresser. My back against it so Harry turns me around to have my back against his chest. He pushes my hair to the side on my left shoulder. He plants a long kiss at the back of my neck.

"Why are you chipped then?" Harry's voice turns cold.

"Wh-what?" I try to turn around.

He roughly bends me over and literally bashes my face on the dressing table.

"Why the fùck do you have a tracking chip in you?" He shouts.

I'm so confused and my head is hurting from all the pressure he is applying.

"I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" I cry, being in shock and utter confusion.

"Oh yeah? You wanna play this game?" More than anything, his sadistic tone of voice scares me.

"I'm not playing, please! You have to believe me!"

"I'll jog your memory for you sweetheart." He says as he reaches for something in the drawer. A dagger.

"Please Harry don't do this to me!" I beg in horror and tears. I think he is going to kill me.

I feel a sharp pain at the back of my neck. As the tip of the blade sinks into my skin, I scream my lungs out. My throat cracks but I keep screaming as the pain becomes more and more unbearable.

"Please! Stop!!" I can't seem to find more words.

He digs more into my flesh and even when I try to wiggle out of his hold, he holds me more firmly.

Finally he holds a tiny bloody piece in front of my eyes. He releases me from his grip and I slide to the ground, shaking and crying.

"You let him put a chip in your head?" He growls still looking at it.

"I- I- I- No..." I still can't seem to form actual words.

"I'll send someone with a band-aid," Harry states and walks away. Leaving me sobbing uncontrollably.

I put my hand on the back of my neck. I'm bleeding more than I thought.

How can Harry do this to me? How can he hurt me like this?

I bring my shaky hand in front of eyes. The wail that leaves my lips is enough to awaken the dead. I can't believe this is happening.

I don't know how long it took but I open my eyes to Niall squatting in front of me. He has a first aid kit lying beside him.

"Please get up, I'll help you to your bed," he tries but I don't move.

"Fùck," he mutters under his breath. He stands and scratches his head like he doesn't know what he should do.

He walks back to me and scoops me from the ground, carrying me to the bed. He lays me on my side, facing away from him. He pushes my hair to the side then goes ahead to clean up my wound. The sting is so painful that I end up bursting into tears.

"Ssshh.. Please don't cry. I- I- I'm really sorry Allison. I'm sorry he did this to you." Niall tries to soothe me. I think he is genuine. But I can't trust anyone.

I sob silently until he finishes fixing me. After that he sits there quietly for a while.

"He loves you. But you've hurt him. You've hurt all of in different ways. But he can't do this to you. It's not right."

With that, Niall walks away shutting the door behind him.

                         ***
Every now and then Louis would come up to my room to bring food and water. He never says a word and would just sit there and wait until I ate. Sometimes I wouldn't so he'd leave me there with only a plate and plastic bottle of water, things that I couldn't hurt myself with.

I don't know how long it's been and how many days have passed. But I just can't take it anymore.

HARRY.

"What is wrong with you?" Niall's tone surprises me.

It's already bad enough that I have this headache from all the alcohol and a little bit of other things that have been helping me cope.

"Excuse me?" I cock and eyebrow.

"I thought I told you to stop mistreating her. She's not a prisoner. This is someone you lov-"

"Shut the fùck up Niall. I told you to stop meddling. I will do whatever I want to her. She's mine!" I yell loud enough to make my own head ache more.

"Are you even listening to yourself? After you torn into her neck to get that chip out, I kindly asked you to stop hurting her. I could hear her crying and banging on that door when I came in. She's not some kind of asset she's a human being!" The audacity Niall has to raise his voice at me.

I hastily walk towards him and grab him by his shirt. The horror on his face makes me laugh.

"So what now, you're in love with her? You wanna be her knight in shining armor?" I mock him.

"You don't have to be in love with someone to treat them like a decent human being. But you wouldn't know that would you?" Niall bites back. Still shaky but certain.

I drive him to my desk, knocking down a few things.

"I'll fûcking give you one of those beatings I gave Zayn."

"Do it Harry. It's what you do best right? Hurt everyone close to you when you don't get your way right? Go ahead." Niall counters.

His attitude confuses me. He has always been loyal to me. Never ever defied me like this. I let him go and pull onto my hair in frustration.

I notice the gun on my desk and I grab it.

"How dare you!?" My voice echoes around the place as I point the gun at him.

Niall raises his hands but doesn't say a word.

"You are supposed to be loyal to me! ME!" I kick the chair in front of me to the side as I approach him.

"So now you won't speak? Go ahead. Run your mouth like you were a few moments ago buddy!" I dare him.

"Hey what's going on-" Louis barges into the study. "Harry... Put the gun down." He approaches me slowly.

"Stay back!" I point the gun at him.

My head. My chest. My stomach. Everything is in pain. My chest hurts the most in a way I've never felt before. I close my eyes to fight back the familiar sting.

"Get out! Both of you! Now!" I think I'm losing it. I really am losing my goddamn mind!

"Harry, you're going to lose everyone if you keep doing this. I promise you." Niall walks past me after having the last word.

"And don't expect me tomorrow night, I'll be having dinner with my family. Whatever you decide to do with her, just remember my words." He adds.

Niall gets out then Louis follows him after giving me a long concerned look.

"Fùck!" I throw the gun at the door once he's closed it.

I open my desk and take out the one thing I've been trying to avoid. I pour it's content on the desk and use one of my cards to make a line. I snort the entire line and sit on the floor.

The pain inside me is too unbearable. All I have to do is distract myself. This is the best way I know how.

AN:
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