"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."  ― Marilyn Monroe

The thundering sound of music floated around me- I could feel the notes hit my skin, causing me to hum in response. Bright, neon lights flickered through the darkness of the club. Somehow, they reminded me of my emotions.

My eyes caught sight of my best friends heading towards me- the distinct smell of alcohol filled my senses. Smirking in satisfaction, I rested my arms on the dark, wooden table—I desperately need a drink.

Out of boredom, I took a closer look at the advertisement placed on our table- "The Barito - the biggest and best club in the US."

The sound of drunk voices started to overpower the music, causing me to swift my gaze in their direction. The voices floated in the air, like smoke searching for a way out. I watched as Katy placed the tray of drinks on the table- the clear liquid could easily be mistaken for water.

Out of nowhere, Katy burped like an amazon warrior- while the others took their seats.

Even while being with my friends, I felt more alone than ever. "Drink up, bitches." Katy squealed loudly, interrupting my inner thoughts. Her face beamed with excitement, and she looked somewhat flustered. I would take offense- however, this is who Katy is. She has absolutely no filter.

Keeping my eyes on the drinks in front of me, I inhaled the scent of vodka. The smell reminded me of my father and how he would teach me lessons behind closed doors.

Once again, Katy giggled loudly- she smiled and handed me a vodka shot. Before I knew it, the taste of spicy, briny-water took my breath away, causing me to choke.

"Easy, tigress!" Katy snapped at me- she patted me on the back, a little harder than needed, by the way. She pulled a face that almost represented that of a wet cat. Making me giggle in response- yes, I have a low tolerance for alcohol.

Then, a song that had all my friends on their feet in seconds started playing. "Oh. My. Fried. Chipmunks!" Demi shouted at the top of her lungs. Her hair flew across her face- she bobbed her head back and forth- which reminded me of something very... wrong.

"I got a feeling," She sang with all her might, but all I heard - was something that sounded like a dying underworld creature.

Taking a glass with a dark-unknown liquid, I watched as the ice hit against the brittle

edges. The sound never reached my ears as my lips touched the edge of the glass. My fingers barely had a hold on the drinking container, so I adjusted my hold, gripping my fingers tightly together.

As I emptied the glass-in record time, the burning-liquid traveled down my throat- leaving two half-melted ice cubes behind.

"Let's dance," Katy shouted. At first, I protested. Downing another drink- as a courage booster. I used to be much more tolerant of alcohol, but now I'm almost like most of my friends.

Human.

I miss my wolf, I miss feeling in control of my emotions and being able to hide what I'm feeling from others.

"Take it easy, M." Demi shouted as I downed another drink. Ignoring her, I placed the glass back on the table and downed a few more shots.

"Oh hush now, Demi. Allow her to live a little!" Katy responded with a stern voice. She shook her hips and moved her arms as she explained something to the stranger beside her- I giggled internally- she reminded me of Squidward. However, before I could say anything, she and Demi started their familiar bickering- again.

Mentally scolding them, I pushed my chair back and stood from the table- grabbing a few more shots as I talked away. With my newfound courage, I emptied the shooters in record time and walked to the dance floor.

The vibrations of the music pulsed through my body, and for some reason, it started to get very flustered. I shook my head as I watched the dancing crowd move in sync with the rhythm- as the song came to an end, I eagerly waited for the next one to start.

Then the worst thing ever happened- Impossible started playing.

I could not help it- my emotions, anger, and whatever madness was within me started to bubble inside- making me feel like a boiling kettle.

"Who plays this depressing crap?" I shouted to no one.

"This is not what I wanted." I cried out. I wanted to forget- not embrace and remember.

My brain was so messed up- I started singing along with the familiar song.

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the rooftops

Write it on the skyline

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them all I hoped would be impossible

I slurred on the words, singing with all of my might, the music was loud and deafening, making it hard for others to hear. Tears started to fall from my eyes, as I sang the last few lines.

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worse

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

And thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear

I know

As the song came to an end, I wiped my tears and tried to find my way back to our table- this was just a little too much for me, and I felt dizzy and wasted. Halfway to our table, I whipped a few more tears that for the life of me, escaped the grip I tried to hold on myself.

Clenching my fingers on the hem of my bright-blue dress, I wiped my tears with my other hand.

If life had not dealt me enough, the next song hit me right between my heart and my heart- that's right- in my heart.

Stone Cold.

"Marvelous," I mumbled to myself. Suddenly my body felt heavy, and somehow my legs felt weak- causing me to invest in a piece of floor. The lyrics played in my head like a broken record "-if happy is hurt, I'm happy for you."

I shook my head and came out of my horrid memory of her purring in satisfaction. Her moaning echoed through my head- however, his growls of approval were what caused the dam to break.

My heart felt like it broke into a million specs of dust- like nothing would ever be able to heal this unbearable pain that consumed me. I clenched my eyes shut, taking a shaky breath- I got up from the ground and suddenly felt two arms wrapped around me.

"Demi?" I asked confused, she always carried this sweet, cherry-like scent with her.

"Dammit, M! We have been looking everywhere for you. Come. Now," she instructed me. Now Demi was the friend who would take care of you better than your own mother- for a human, she had such a kind soul.

Demi took me by my hand and led me towards our table. However, nature called, and I needed to pee.

"I need a bathroom. Give me 5, please." I told her.

I walked to the bathroom in record time, considering that on my way there- I stumbled over my own feet and fell more times than I would ever admit.

But like always, my thoughts drifted to him. First, he accepts me. Then he rejects me.

"What a prick," I mumbled- however, the next moment, I walked straight into a wall- that sent little tingles through my spine. A wave of intense lust shot through my body. Like my soul- had been awakened, and somehow life emerged from within me.

"I blame the alcohol." I thought to myself.

"Excuse me?" The wall roared, and I swear I heard it growl.

Wait.

That's not a wall.

Walls don't talk, walls don't make you feel things.

Walls, don't growl.

Walls don't make you want to take a ride on their choo-choo train.

My eyes almost shot out of their sockets- my mind was consumed with lust. For a dam wall. I must be losing my mind.

Mental note- drink less, and by the way, look where you're walking.

I closed my eyes quickly, composing myself to face the wall of desire. However, as I lifted my head and opened my eyes, something struck me to the very core of my being.

In front of me stood a man- his bright-blue eyes darkened as he searched my face. I stood frozen, only staring at him- his black hair looked good enough to get lost in. I bit my bottom lip- I couldn't help the feelings that started to bubble inside me. I need to touch him- however, the need- to be touched by him was much more consuming.

The realization hit me in the face when a group of teenagers walked past us. I felt ashamed, filthy, and plain awkward.

Okay. Mental note. Don't look into the eyes of strange men. Alcohol makes you want to jump him. Retreat at once, I repeat- retreat. Abort toilet-mission.

"Uh... I... sorry. It was not meant t- towards, you." I stumbled on my words like a nervous lab rat- hiccupping at every second word.

He did not say anything and just walked away from me. Wow- rude much.

"Definitely, a prick. A hot- no an extremely hot prick, that makes my body burn." I mumbled as I walked back to my friends, clearly forgetting why I came here in the first place.

I found our table a few minutes later. Katy and Demi were as drunk as me, only Nicola seemed to be sober. Nicola is my best, best friend. She is a gem and the best friend you could ever want, and like the old me she is also a werewolf.

There's a handful of us around here. We don't belong to a pack- as we were all abandoned at the doorsteps of humans, as day old babies.

"You okay?" She asked, placing her hands on my shoulders as I took a seat in front of her.

"Yeah," I said, giving her a drunken smile. Katy, Demi, and some guy, I didn't know placed a new tray of drinks on our table.

When did they leave? I thought to myself.

Out of nowhere, Nicola's face went from rosy pink to pale- shock and anger spread through her eyes as she looked behind me, growling. My other friends also became quiet and looked behind me.

I snapped my head and turned around to see what's got them so worked up. My head throbbed in pain, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight before my eyes. I felt sucker-punched- as the world should rather swallow me in.

There he stood- with her, they are practically eating each other's faces- while he, has his hands in places that should not be on public display. Her familiar moans made my eyes sting in pain. Horny darn idiot of a wolfprick!

Somehow I thought he would not be able to hurt me anymore. The bond's broken- the rejection accepted. However, it still pained me- it ate me alive each day. Was it because that's when Ella went away? Was it because I felt used? Was it because I failed in the one thing that was gifted to me?

Three months. That's how long ago it happened, and here I am. Still broken, betrayed, hurt, and unable to breathe without feeling choked. Rejected and used for a quickie.

Nausea creped up from my stomach- I can't see this anymore. So, I stood up, running towards the bathroom- again.

The world started spinning around me, and just as I was about to walk into the bathroom, I was pulled back and slammed into the wall. I could feel the bricks behind me this time, pressing into my skin as someone pressed themselves against me.

I looked at the person who was twisting my arm- digging their nails into my skin. The intense pain of his nails formed bruises immediately, I could feel the blood oozing out of the wound. But, it did not bother him at all.

"Let go of me, Mitch!" I screamed, trying to get out of his grip. As a Beta, he is much stronger than I will ever be. He could destroy me with one movement- I had no defense, no strength that could even match him.

"No. I can't do that, now can I bitch?" He grabbed my chin with his other hand- taking a moment to stare at me.

What's there left to see?

"You're hurting me, and for your information. I am about to puke. If you want to stay clean, move along. I'll let go if I was you." I stated.

He growled, like the darn animal he is, and slapped me through my face. "I feel like eating you tonight." He said with an evil look in his eyes. My heart clenched at the thought, somehow being with Mitch now, him touching me- it felt wrong.

"Go fuck yourself, Mitch. Leave me alone." I hissed, earning me another slap across the face.

"You're wolf still missing, I cant sense her? Tell her Jack sends his hatred." He said smirking, he knew what he did to me, and still, he did not care. Mitch, is such an idiot- such an amazing, stupid Idiot. Why he was my mate, I would never know. I must be cursed.

Him, standing in front of me, still hurt like hell, and as I felt the blood drip from my arm, nausea came to the surface without any warning.

Within seconds Mitch was soaked in it.

This made everything worse, and I could see the anger in his eyes. He growled loudly in anger, and I saw his eyes go black. He did not care that we were in a public place, surrounded by wolves and humans alike. Mitch never cares.

"I gave you a warning, Jack," I spoke, hoping to turn the situation around. Although, I already knew Jack took control of Mitch.

"Fuckoff. Weakling." He growled loudly, showing me his canines.

It was like slow motion decided to invade my mind. I saw it all. So, I did the only thing I could, as Mitch pinned me against the wall.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact to destroy me.

Waiting for death.

In some way, he already killed a part of me- this would be the final straw.

I made a final wish- I could not help the burp that escaped my mouth, followed by complete darkness. 

Hi Everyone. 

Here you go, I hope this one is much better that the first attempt.

Please Vote and comment if you liked it.

All my love

Jay

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