'memories warm you up from the inside. but they also tear you apart.' haruki murakami.

season 1, episode 2
second chance at first line

Climbing into Neviah's room on the second story using the large tree used to be second nature to Harley. She had perfected the climb to a point where she no longer received scratches. Her small feet and long legs were her advantage to finding nooks to place her feet. Now, she ripped her favorite Deftones shirt, and her hands dotted with blood, trying to climb it. A lot changed in six years.

She muttered a curse, swiping her hand on her jeans. Harley didn't worry about Scott possibly hearing with his new super-ears since she knew exactly where he was. She gritted her teeth at the thought, reaching for the next branch. He continued to dismiss her when she opposed his ideas. Too blinded by emotions; too filled with testosterone. The both of them. Stiles didn't have the backbone to listen to Harley's side.

Harley hadn't talked to Scott or Stiles since the after-party a week ago. It was easier than she thought it would be, only lonelier. His amplified anger seeped out when she and Stiles tried to give him answers for all his sudden changes. He shoved Stiles against the wall. Harley moved to intervene. Scott pushed her away, knocking her off balance. Her head slammed against Stiles' desk. At first and naively, she didn't blame him. Everything flipped on its head in one night and he was now expected to live with it. Then Scott shoved the blame for what happened to him on Derek. He was a goddamn werewolf now and Derek was one too—which made Harley question when he was bitten. He was a possible suspect in turning Scott. It seemed to be too good to be true. If Derek had to be turned, who turned him? Why would he turn Scott of all people?

None of those questions were able to leave her tongue that morning they found Scott on the side of the road because Scott was adamant that he was right. Harley didn't want to argue with the boy who nearly concussed her. Was she just supposed to forgive him? Her stepbrother had anger issues and still managed to find restraint when it came to their arguments. Yet one lit fuse in Scott and her head almost came off.

Then she started to blame him. Hours spent thinking about everything that happened, she couldn't help but become angry at the thought of Scott. He hurt her and he was more concerned about picking Allison up for their date. They covered for him when his mom questioned where her son was and saved him off the side of the road. He didn't even apologize—at least not until after she started ignoring him.

From the day in seventh grade when Scott begged her to tutor him in math, Harley accepted the fact that having those two as her friends she would never have a day of rest. She allowed it. It was better than being alone. They matched her impulses and adventurous tendencies. They made her forget all she lost.

Her thoughts returned to Derek. It always came back to him and everything that happened six years ago. Her hand gripped the bark, ignoring the pinching pain. She refused to believe that the once-boy who would convince his basketball team to let her play whenever she was upset, would ruin one of her best friend's lives. He had lacked motive. He didn't even have a reason to come back to Beacon Hills until now. Until after Scott was bitten.

As Harley reached the top, she peered into Neviah's room. Everything seen from that angle was nearly the same. Her vanity had more items and the photos of four girls at various points in their lives were replaced with photos of Malikai, Lydia, and Neviah. They were tucked along the edge of the mirror. Fairy lights hung a few inches below the ceiling. Star sticker stains imprinted on her ceiling. Nothing had changed besides nearly everything.

Hell, Neviah still kept her window unlocked.

Harley slipped in, eyes locking on the bed. Empty. What?

The next thing she knew, Harley was slammed into the wall. Her mind wobbled, blurring into one spinning image. She couldn't fully remember at what point she was pulled from the wall and had her head hanging out the window. Two stories turned into twenty in her dazed vision.

"Fucking Christ, Harley!" her attacker exclaimed in a sleepy voice, tugging her out of the window. She landed on the floor.

Neviah heavily exhaled, wide eyes staring at Harley. She groaned, rubbing the back of her head. "You need to work on your manners."

"What the fuck are you doing here? It's four A.M. Get out," she ordered, poison lathered in her words.

Harley blinked as she stood up. The spinning room slowed into a fixed position. "I need to talk to you."

"I need you to get out." Neviah pointed to the door. Eyes dark and dull with heavy bags underneath glared.

"Scott and Stiles are trying to get Derek arrested," Harley blurted. She had been wanting to tell Neviah about Derek since Stiles told her about that day in the woods. She didn't believe it at first. She didn't want to believe it at all. If all the memories rushed and scrambled over her, she couldn't imagine what it was doing to Neviah. She could tell it was already affecting her more than Neviah would admit.

"He's been back for a week. And they think Derek is the person who murdered that girl," Harley continued, seeing Neviah's hard, defenses fall. But she didn't look surprised that Derek was back. She knew. Of course, she knew. Bitterness laced Harley's tongue. Why didn't Neviah go to her? "We both know he wouldn't do that."

Neviah wrapped her arms around herself, taking a seat on her bed. Her attention was focused on the ring on her finger. Harley remembered it being in the corner of Stiles' desk with a plethora of other gifts he wouldn't tell her what for. "We also thought we knew he wouldn't leave us."

"Neviah..."

There were memories better left untouched. Harley knew that, especially with Neviah. The feeling of being seen as vulnerable left the Degrace exposed. She would do anything to keep from feeling that. Harley remembered the dance to step around Neviah's emotions. She tried her hardest to stay by Neviah's side, Harley needed her—only Neviah didn't want to need her back. Neviah only promised to seek her out if the memories got too much to handle. Harley promised the same.

The day Derek and Laura Hale left Beacon Hills without a word, Neviah didn't cry or get angry. She harbored everything in like a secret. She stitched the emotional wound herself with only string and a sewing needle. When she was younger her lips stayed tight, but her face spoke. She learned how to hide it better. The pieces of the way she chose to hide her emotions reminded Harley of their fallen friend. Lilith always took her emotions out on others. No matter if they were a bystander or the culprit, Lilith didn't need a reason to explode at others. Neviah's explosions were more calculated. They took form in punishing others.

Harley remembered the first time she noticed it. Freshman year, just after the first week Neviah wrote Harley a letter telling her how guilty she felt for being able to go into High School without Lilith or Cora. She wrote about a boy who teased her for being startled about the flame test in Chemistry. He brought the burning metal near her face. Mr. Harris stopped him before he did any damage, but didn't punish the boy. Harley wrote a letter back with the same guilt, only extending her hand to give Neviah someone to talk to. She missed her friend and wanted to believe Neviah missed her back. She naively told Neviah that if Lilith was still there, she'd handle the boy. Two days later, Neviah got the boy expelled for endangering Erica Reyes during a seizure. It was like Neviah grew into the space Lilith left—

"If Derek didn't do it, he'll get released and hopefully he'll finally leave. For good." Neviah looked as if she was trying to convince herself of her words. A crack in her voice gave it away—it may have been from the obvious lack of sleep. She hadn't punished anyone since last semester. Harley could see Neviah was trying to suppress it all. "He obviously didn't need us when we needed him, why would he need us now?"

There were a thousand things Harley wanted to say to Neviah, shout at her, scream at the top of her lungs to make sure she heard. The speech she had rehearsed for years resurfaced, tempting her tongue. But nothing came out. She wanted Neviah to be okay. Harley pushed her tongue against her cheek, nodding. "Okay."

"Okay," Neviah repeated, locking eyes. "Is that all?"

No. "Yeah," Harley muttered. She lifted her leg out the window, stretching it towards the tree branch.

Harley made it onto the branch safely. Looking back up, Neviah was there intently watching her. "If I get arrested for beating their asses, will you bail me out?"

"Only if you buy me Ray's afterward," Neviah answered, resisting a smile.

"Deal."

༻❁༺

"I'm gonna slit your dicks off!" Harley whisper shouted as she stomped towards Scott and Stiles. They stood at Stiles' Jeep as police cars spread around the lawn. She didn't want to get arrested for making threats but would take the chance if it meant she didn't have to go through all of this.

Stiles pushed Scott in front of him as protection, only for him to get shoved towards Harley. He glared at Scott before looking at Harley. "Hey, Harley, look I get you're upset but-"

"Upset?" she shouted, gaining looks from the police. She clenched her fist. "Words can't even describe what I'm feeling right now," she said quietly.

Stiles winced, glancing at Scott for help but he gave none. Coward. "We found a body! He did murder the girl and planted the evidence in his front lawn!"

Scott shuffled closer to keep their voices from being heard. Harley's glare kept him from taking another step towards her. "The body was a wolf before Stiles and I pulled this flower away from it."

"And it turned into the missing half of a dead girl," Stiles added, proudly. He quickly dropped it when Harley clenched her jaw. "Okay, you're still upset, that's valid, but you have to understand-"

"Understand that you two idiots needed to arrest Derek for this? Yeah, I do. Doesn't mean you should have."

Scott jerked his head bewildered. "So, you wanted us to let a murderer run loose? The person who turned me into a werewolf?" he exclaimed, whispering the last bit. Police wandered around them, some digging up the body, some talking to Derek inside. She hadn't been back there since the fire. The accused man had been the one to pull her out, holding her close to keep her eyes from witnessing the catastrophe. She tried to keep her eyes on the boys rather than the decaying building. Her body rested in there once. Her body nearly died in there once.

Harley stared at him. He didn't understand. No one knew who was at the Hale house besides the people who died. She never had the guts to tell them she lived while her friends burned alive. She didn't have the guts to tell them that she knew Derek. "How do you know he didn't?"

"How do you know he did?" Scott shouted, stepping towards her.

Harley flinched, scared he would release his anger out of her like he did before the party. He was nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing now. She could see her best friend, but she didn't know if it was him anymore. He was once gentle, kind, and understanding. He noticed when she was upset and did everything in his power to make her feel better. Her best friend would have never hurt her. But Scott had. And now he was causing her more pain. Did he even care?

Scott stepped back at her reaction, glancing at Stiles, who looked at him with guilty eyes. Guilt meant nothing to her if he couldn't own up to his actions.

"I guess we will find out," she mumbled, heading towards her dad's black car. He was reluctant to lend it, but understood when she explained it was about Derek. He wasn't close with the Hales or Degraces, but knew what they meant to Harley when she had no one.

"Harley! Harley, Harley," Stiles called out as he ran after her. He reached out to grab her arm but stopped himself. His fingers grazed her. She turned. "He wasn't going to hurt you; you know that right?"

Harley blinked, then shrugged. "Yeah, I just...He doesn't know how to control himself."

Stiles frowned, nodding in agreement. "That's why he wants us to help him—you and me. Once Derek is gone, we'll be able to help him understand what he is and help control."

"How?" she asked, raising her arms and dropping them. "How are we supposed to help him when we don't know how to help?"

He didn't know the answer, it was written all over his face. "We try. That's all we can do."

Harley shook her head. "And then, we die, just like that girl."

"What do you suggest we do then?"

"Derek," she responded. Stiles clenched and unclenched his hands in disbelief. "He's like him! He knows more than us. For fuck's sake, Stiles, there are hunters who hunt things like Scott and Derek. We can't protect him from that. But Derek can. He can teach Scott and-"

Stiles cut her off. "Why do you trust Derek so much? You-you don't even know him."

"I don't trust him," Harley answered truthfully. She couldn't, she didn't know him anymore. "But he knows more than us."

Before Stiles could respond, two police officers escorted Derek out of what remained of the Hale house. Harley was there again. Fire gnawing at wood, crackling flames surrounding them. Screams and smoke filled the building. She saw Derek Hale, someone who used to be like an older brother to her, get put into the back of a cop car. And the whole time, he was looking at her. Everyone saw. Scott and Stiles saw.

Five years since Derek had seen her, it was him getting arrested that she had confirmed it was him. His face got sharper, he grew out of his baby face and soft gaze. Nothing about him appeared soft. There were so many ways Harley imagined their reunion to be. She would yell at him, ask him why he left without a word, or just hug him and not say a thing. She imagined in the latter that he would hug her back and apologize for leaving.

But she knew better. None of them were the same since then. It changed them all, and she couldn't try to grasp for memories of a person who no longer existed.

Harley gritted her teeth as tears welled. "I gotta go."

Stiles snapped his head towards her, catching a glimpse of the tears. She had shut the door. "Harley! Please, talk to me."

She didn't respond. She started the vehicle and drove off.

Stiles threw his hands up, letting out a groan. He walked towards the cop car that held Derek, not noticing Malikai standing some ways away with two figures behind him.

༻❁༺

Repeated knocks on her door hadn't stopped since Harley slammed the door shut. She should have known. She did know. She stayed an extra five minutes in the car to calm down, but the moment she entered her house, everything came out. Her boots pounded against the stairs. She didn't respond to Lia calling for her. A lump gathered in her throat. Tears pricked her eyes.

She just didn't know if her annoying, little stepbrother was knocking because he cared or because he was annoying. It was most likely the latter.

"Fuck off, Liam!"

Instead of listening, Liam barged in.

"Get out!" Harley shouted, throwing a pillow at him. He dodged it. Stupid lacrosse training with her dad made him good at that.

"Since when did you know hot, not nerdy people?" he exclaimed, ignoring Harley's obvious annoyance. His hair was halfway done, and toothpaste dried at the corner of his lips.

Harley scrunched her eyebrows. "What?"

"A hot girl and Beacon Hills' best lacrosse player are here," Liam explained slowly, staring at her like she was crazy. Harley quickly realized who he was talking about. She walked out the door. She picked up her pillow and tossed it back onto her bed. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Go get ready for school. And clean your mouth, idiot," she responded, rushing down the stairs. Liam throws his head back with a groan, listening to what he was told to do. She needed this supernatural shit packed up before Liam entered high school. The last thing she needed was Liam getting tangled into this life.

Neviah and Malikai stood in Harley's kitchen, talking to her dad and stepmother, David Thompson and Lia Dunbar. The two teens smiled, forcing the 'good kid' appearance as David complained about them not being around. He knew all too well why they were never around. He only pushed because he liked them better than Scott and Stiles.

"You two should come over for dinner on Saturday," David suggested, looking at his wife, who nodded. Lia had only heard stories of Harley's old friends since she came into the picture a little under a year ago. Her dad believed Neviah and Malikai could fix the pieces of Harley that she discarded. He didn't fully accept her for who she was, or her friends. He wanted her to stay small—she understood that after everything happened, he just wanted to know she was safe. With Scott and Stiles, she managed to get into continuous trouble.

"They can't," Harley said, gaining everyone's attention. Her dad furrowed his brows. "Lacrosse game. C'mon Dad, don't tell me you forgot already?"

David's eyes widened. "Forreal?"

Malikai smirked, unable to resist an ego boost. "Yeah, you should come out Mr. Thompson; I gotta show you how much I've improved since, what, middle school?"

Her dad opened his mouth to speak, but Harley spoke first. "Yes, he'll be there. Lia and Liam will be there. Now, it's time for school!" Harley tugged Malikai towards the front door with Neviah following behind.

"Surprised you didn't get arrested," Neviah said as she shut the door behind her. She tipped her sunglasses to the tip of her nose, revealing her tired eyes. "What happened?"

Harley huffed, pressing the sides of her hands to the sides of her face. "Derek got arrested. They found half of the body in his lawn."

Neviah shuddered. "Gross. There's no way he's not guilty, right?"

"Did you see the body?" Malikai asked, ignoring Neviah's question.

Harley shook her head. "Stiles said...something was weird about the body, but the coroner had already put it away when I got there."

"Weird? Like what?" Neviah questions, crossing her arms.

Harley remembered Malikai's not-so subtle threat he told Scott, Stiles, and herself when Stiles stupidly told him that he went to Neviah for books about Lycanthropy. Malikai didn't want Neviah involved for some odd reason he wouldn't tell them about. If Harley was being honest, she didn't either. She had been involved in it for a week and a half, and it's been more stressful than studying for the ACTs.

First Malikai and his weird secrets and knowledge about werewolves, then Derek being one. Finally, the dead body was able to shift from a wolf. Scott could only shift into a man-beast. It was all weird. Harley just wished none of this happened, so her friends and her could return to being nobodies. It was easier that way. Easier to never deal with Neviah and Malikai again. The past should have remained buried.

"I don't know, he's Stiles and the body was the top half of a naked girl," Harley scoffed. Neviah rolled her eyes. "He's a virgin, so basically everything about the female body is weird to him."

"Whatever," Neviah said tiredly. She looked at the time on her phone. "We need to leave before we're late."

Harley was confused. "School starts at 8. It's 7:30."

Neviah narrowed her eyes, pulling her bag strap closer. "Some of us have people expecting them."

Harley scowled, keeping her eyes on the two as they entered Malikai's car. Liam came outside, running his hand through his hair as he stared at Neviah.

"We'll follow you," Malikai told Harley.

She wanted to question the sudden friendliness but was too tired to care. "Get inside, Liam, and stop staring at Neviah, you're like twelve."

"I'm fourteen!"

༻❁༺

harley chapter!! god i love this girl.

yes, our beloved beta liam is harley's step brother. no particular reason why i made this relationship but i love it so im keeping it.

what do you guys think of this chapter? do you want more non-neviah pov chapters? tell me your thoughts, theories or random things. dont be a silent reader (i am begging)

i hope you guys liked this chapter. of there are any mistakes please tell me (in a respectful way) <3

Edited: 11/13/2024