"..."

9/5/2022.

Captain's bedroom, he's waiting for the 5.7 update to be installed on his phone. He's smiling happily as he watches the new version's trailer over and over again, can't wait to have Aponia aka thicc nun.

"Yo Captain, what are you doing?" - Himeko knocks on the door.

Captain opens the door and greets her.

"Well the new update is here, still waiting the installation to be done." - Captain saying as holding his phone to show to Himeko.

"Ah I see, going to pull for Aponia?"

"Yes, i've got 27k crystals ready, but I am at 100 roll for guarantee Valkyrie."

"Wow.. That's pretty bad."

"Yep, but don't worry, I am not that unlucky to not get her in more than 90 pulls, such unluckiness couldn't happen to me." - The Captain said as he laughing.

"Hahaha... Wish you luck Captain."

"Okay, see ya."

The Captain closes the room and checks, he sees the update is done, and is ready to play.

"Good! Let's go!"

He log in, checks the stuffs, receive crystals and re-calculating some stuffs.

"Wait I can get 98 pulls with this shit, oh boy, OH BOY!!!" - He yells happily from inside his room.

Kiana who was walking pass by his room.

"Dafuq?"

"MUEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEH LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO---"

He then proceed to the Gacha, and sees the rate up supply which features thicc nun there being thicc.

He begins to pull.

First 10 pulls.

my own rolls btw. it's not exactly my own experience in this story, but take it for better understanding of the pain.

"Oh man, that was kinda unlucky, oh well, it's just first 10 pulls and just in time I need to level up Raven up to SSS." - The Captain smiles as he let it pass, then begins to pull again.

"Oh nice, next 10 pulls and we've gotten some fragments of thicc nun. nice nice." 

he pulls again. 

"What the-"

He pulls again, but he is feeling... somewhat uncomfortable as this is the 30th roll already. But he still has more crystals on the way.

"Fuck it, let's go." 

"... I- What? How is this possible?"

Meanwhile in the corner of his room, a wild, dangerous Raven is observing him with somewhat of... thirsty intent.

"What the..."

"The fuck? Fuck it let's try pulling some single pulls." 

"What the-" 

He begins to pull more and more. 

The Captain rn.

"RAVEN I LOVE YOU, BUT PLEASE STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY ROLLS."

He proceed to spent all the crystals in the expansion supplies, 98 rolls and there is more than enough fragments to move Raven from SS 1 star to SSS, heck, I believe the Captain would have more than enough to reach the SSS 3 stars, if that's ever a thing.

"How is this possible..."

He get no thicc nun. Pein.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!" - He slams his head against his desk many times.

The next day.

"Hm? Where's Captain?" - Theresa came up to the bridge but he's not there. 

"Ah.. About that." - Himeko shows up with some worry on her face.

"Eh. He didn't get Aponia?"

"yeah..."

In the Captain's room. He is depressed, no thicc nun, no life. He ran out of crystals for 98 rolls, 2 rolls left and he will definitely get Aponia, but what can he do now, he can't get more crystals from the middle of nothing.

Bronya walks pass his room, she is beginning to pull for Aponia as well.

"Oh." 

She got Aponia on first pull.

"Damn, I am lucky today."

The door slowly opens and reveals a terrifying Captain peeking out to Bronya's phone with his supervisions. And breathes heavily right next to Bronya, this even scares her.

"Thicc nun... Thicc nun..." 

The Captain mumbles as he sees Aponia on her phone.

"THICC NUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"BUNNY 19C!!!!!!!!!!"

Bronya ordered the Project Bunny 19C to attack the Captain, pushes him against a wall then run away from there, the Captain was being scary.

That night when he is sleeping.

"Huh? Where am I?" - The Captain asks himself as he sees he is standing in the middle of the Teri world. He met his alternative self, patting his shoulder. "You can do it brother." - His alternative self saying, and then showing him his phone, which shows that he has Aponia. "99th roll."

He wakes up immediately, reaches for his phone, get into the game.

Claims daily crystals. 

Do a long ass motherfucking Elysian Realm run.

Get the crystals.

Get into Supplies.

Pull.

Gets Fu Hua.

He breaks his phone in half and went back to sleeping. 

Meanwhile at some offline meeting of the f2p captains.

"Hahahahaah..." 

The lights went off, they see a Ai-chan standing there menacingly.

"Ai-chan?"

"It's Whaling time!!!!!!!" 

Coming soon, Ai-bius, a movie of movies.