#JustTheStrings

"You're so pretty!" Kath gushed nang makarating kami ni Saint sa reception. Muntik na nga kaming hindi makarating dahil ang kulit ni Saint! Dumiretso na raw kami sa honeymoon! Sobrang pasaway talaga.

"Ikaw kaya! Nakita mo na si Psalm?" I teased her.

She rolled her eyes. "Ewan ko sa 'yo. Pero ang cute if magiging sister-in-law tayo! Pero sister-in-law nga ba ang tamang term?" she pondered. Habang nag-iisip si Kath, bigla naman akong nahatak ni Kuya. Nanlaki iyong mga mata ko dahil talagang hinatak niya pa ako e nasa tabi ko lang si Kath!

"Bakit, Kuya?" I asked.

"Congrats," he said, mukhang hindi mapakali.

"Thank you... pero may problem ba?" I asked. Kuya looked at me, parang naguguluhan talaga siya kung sasabihin niya kaya naman iba na lang ang sinabi ko. "Nasan na si Mars, Kuya?" tanong ko. Sobrang busy kasi kanina sa church kaya hindi ko na napansin si Mars. E isa pa naman siya sa dahilan kung bakit sobrang naglu-look forward ako sa kasal!

"About that..." he trailed.

"Pinauwi mo?!" hindi ko napigilan na mapasigaw. Grabe na talaga kung pinauwi ni Kuya! Aping-api na nga si Mars kay Mama, tapos tumutulong pa si Kuya? Hindi na talaga ako magtataka kung isang araw, maglayas na si Mars.

"Hindi!" sigaw pabalik ni Kuya.

"E nasaan?"

"Umuwi—" he said tapos pinalo ko siya. "Bakit ka ba namamalo?!"

"Bakit pinauwi mo si Mars? Kasal ko kaya 'to..." I really wanted to meet Mars. Sobrang unfair na kasi. Na-meet na siya ng buong family... pati si Saint naunahan pa ako!

Mars was a big mystery that I really wanted to unveil. And I thought ngayong kasal ko, makikilala ko na siya...

"E may sakit si John! Uunahin pa ba niya 'yung landian niyo ni Santo?!" sigaw pa rin ni Kuya.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Hala, may sakit si baby John?" nag-aalala na sabi ko. Delikado pa naman kapag may sakit ang bata dahil mahina pa ang immune system nila... tapos si John, palagi na lang may sakit.

Kuya nodded. "Yeah... so, can I go home now? I'd like to stay but I'm really worried—"

Agad akong tumango. Naiintindihan ko naman si Kuya.

"Bakit ka naka-ngiti dyan?" he asked, nakakunot na naman ang noo.

"Wala. Sobrang mature mo na, Kuya."

"Psh."

"Good influence si Mars sa 'yo."

"Ewan ko sa 'yo."

"Basta bago kami umalis ni Saint, papakilala mo siya, Kuya."

Kuya just shrugged. "We'll see."

"Kuya naman..."

He just looked at me and sighed. "Fine. Before you go, we'll set up a dinner."

I beamed. Hindi talaga ako matiis ni Kuya. Kaya kahit sinasabi ng iba na selfish si Kuya at medyo masama ang ugali, alam ko naman na may redeeming quality siya...

Kasi kahit ganoon siya sa perspective ng ibang tao, alam ko na mahal na mahal kami ni Kuya. He's very protective of his siblings. Lalo na sa kambal.

Siguro kasi, si Kuya iyong tipo ng tao na matagal bago mag-invest ng feelings... he wanted to be sure before he does anything... pero kapag nakuha mo na ang loob niya, he'd shower you with affection.

And spoil you rotten. Kaya nga tumaba ng sobra si Riley, e. Pinakain nang pinakain ni Kuya ng chocolate. Grabe talaga. Lalo na nung dumating si Saint, mas lalong dumoble iyong supply ni Riley ng chocolates. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sobrang threatened ni Kuya kay Saint... I mean, they're different. They're at both ends of the spectrum. They're special in very different ways.

And as though Kuya sometimes annoys me, he would forever hold a special place in my heart. Because he's family.

Despite Kuya's protest, hinatid ko siya sa labas. Nagbilin din ako ng mga dapat kainin ni John.

"I already got it covered," he answered.

"Dapat, Kuya, sinabi mo na may sakit si John... Maiintindihan ko naman kung hindi ka makaka-punta."

Kumunot ang noo ni Kuya. "I wouldn't dare miss your wedding."

"But—"

He held my shoulders and faced me. "Imo, even though I already have John in my life, you will always be my first baby."

My lips began to quiver. Gosh. Maiiyak na naman ba ako? Sinabi ko na kasi na hindi ako iiyak sa kasal ko, e... But with Kuya acting like this and saying things like this...

It just made me realize that this was real. That I was indeed married... that soon, I'd have my own life. And things would change drastically.

"Kuya naman..."

"You're the first baby I took care of. I fended boys away from you. I taught you your assignments kahit sa totoo lang, mas matalino ka talaga sa akin," he said and tears began to flow. Kuya laughed. "Oh, bakit ka umiiyak?"

"Kasi naman..." I said and sobbed. "Bakit ka ganyan magsalita?"

He shrugged. "I just... want to say this. Kasi kasal ka na. Alam mo 'yun? Whether we like it or not, things will change."

"Hindi naman—"

"But it's okay," he cut me off. "We'll both have our families, but you will always be my first family."

Oh, my God. He really just opened the dam in my eyes!

When tears fell continuously, tinawanan na talaga ako ni Kuya. I kept on wiping the tears, but they wouldn't just stop from falling.

"Aww. Mamimiss mo na ba agad ako? Pwede pa naman umatra. Hindi pa registered 'yung kasal niyo," he jested.

"I'm really going away..." I said in realization. Na days from now, I'd be going away. I would literally be a thousand miles away from my family. Alam ko naman 'yun... but now, it just felt so real.

How would I be able to handle that?

I love Saint... but I also love my family. My heart ached just by the thought of not seeing them everyday.

"Puyat ka ba nung pumayag kang magpakasal?" tanong ni Kuya habang inaabutan ako ng panyo. "Parang ngayon mo lang nare-realize iyong mga mangyayari, ah."

I was sobbing like an idiot. It was my wedding day, but for some reasons, I felt so sad.

"It just feels so real..."

"Hindi pa talaga registered kasal niyo," he seriously said.

"Kuya naman..."

Napailing siya and then rested his arm around my shoulder. "Kasal ka na pero ang isip bata mo pa rin," he said and then gently pat the top of my head. "I really don't like Saint as a person, but I like him for you."

"Talaga?"

He nodded. "I saw how he took care of you... and I know that he'll always take care of you. Kaya 'wag ka ng malungkot, okay?"

I nodded, still crying. "I love Saint, Kuya... but I still can't help but feel sad na hindi ko na kayo makikita araw-araw."

"That's life, Imo. We're still your family, but now, Saint's your family, too. At saka bibisitahin ka namin palagi. Or go home when you can. Either way, we'll always be a part of each other's life. Nothing can ever take us away from you."

Kuya stayed for a few minutes, trying to appease me. Pero pinilit ko na tumigil na sa pag-iyak dahil alam ko na kailangan na siya ni John. At nang makaalis na si Kuya, inayos ko muna iyong sarili ko. My eyes were bloodshot red. I looked like a mess.

"Hey," Saint said when he saw me emerge from the comfort room. I tried to smile awkwardly, but I knew he knew that something was not right.

Saint held me by my shoulders and then made me look at him.

"Did you cry?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Okay lang ako." But Saint's face remained impassive. It's just so hard to lie to him... kasi alam ko na hindi rin siya nagsisinungaling sa akin. "Nakausap ko kasi si Kuya..." I trailed, feeling the sadness in my chest again.

Saint was just looking at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I was just... sad. Medyo. Kasi ngayon ko lang nare-realize na totoo na 'to. Na aalis na talaga ako... na... hindi ko na sila makikita ng madalas."

Each word felt like knife being stabbed at my chest. All my life, I had been with my family... tapos biglang ganito. I just couldn't help but feel sad.

"I love you, Saint. So much. Pero nalulungkot lang talaga ako," I said and then smiled. I wiped the tears that threatened to fall again. "But I'm okay. Makakapag-adjust din ako."

Hinintay ko si Saint na magsalita. He was just looking at me.

"Uy..." sabi ko at saka kinalabit siya. "Okay lang ako," I continued and then smiled. He still looked serious. I cupped his face and then stretched the sides of his lips. "Smile ka na. It's our wedding day."

Saint sighed. "I just... hate making you choose," he said, the pain in his voice was very evident.

"You didn't make me choose. I chose you. Willingly."

"But—"

"Saint, you're a choice that I'm willing to make again and again," I said and then gently caressed his cheek. "Don't ever think that you're making me choose, alright?"

He gently smiled, but I felt that he still was hesitant. I sighed and then cupped his face.

"Saint Iverson Gomez de Liaño, you're the second best thing that happened to me—"

"Second lang?"

"Of course God's the first... and then you," I said and then gently smiled at him. "You're my family now, too, Saint. And soon, we'll have our own family."

Biglang tumaas iyong gilid ng labi niya. His hands were wrapped around my waist. "Our family, huh?" His thumb was caressing the sides of my waist. "How many kids?"

"One?"

"Ten."

"What?! No!"

"Fine. Nine?" he bargained.

"No! Masakit kaya manganak!"

"Masaya naman gumawa ng baby."

Nanlaki iyong mga mata ko at saka hinampas ko siya. Tawa naman siya nang tawa. Napairap ako. "Kapag talaga ganitong usapan, ang bilis gumanda ng mood mo, noh?"

And then I heard his laugh again. "God, I really love you," he said and then kissed me on the lips. "Let's go back. They might be thinking that we're doing something that I really hope we're actually doing," he suggestively said.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo."

"Soon, Mary. Soon."