Chapter 21

It was just there, just plainly there. The evidence to his words, his con, his lie. I knew Mr. Elxa to be someone who dealt with not-so-legal things. I knew he lied –everybody lied.

But I don’t know why I thought he would never lie to me. Of course he would lie to me. I was just another tool in his grand scheme. Just another weapon he used, another resource he would use to get the best of situations. But why me? Me, out of so many people in this world? Me, out of so many people he could use in Miami alone?

I was stupid; so naïve. I didn’t know why I was so stupid, so blind. Of course Mr. Elxa didn’t care. My mother had taught me to be wary of everyone ever since I grew up. She had told me to never trust anyone, even if they meant to do something good. Everyone did good things for their own reasons, and I shouldn’t ever trust anyone to do me any good.

I should have taken my mother’s advice and left so long ago. I wouldn’t have developed feelings, wouldn’t have developed a routine in Mr. Elxa’s and Jon’s lives, and wouldn’t get hurt so badly.

“Kaylen!” Jon yelled, and he grabbed my shoulders, spinning me roughly to face him. I didn’t try to wipe the tears streaking down my cheeks, only glaring at him through teary eyes. “What’s going on? What did he say?”

“You knew, didn’t you?” I accused, grabbing my bag that I had thought I had lost so long ago. I didn’t need to open it, but I knew the belongings I had that night; they were all still there. This had been Mr. Elxa’s way of keeping me with him. Even though the bag had not been carrying anything of real importance, the fact that it was here, sitting in his safe as he’d said… it made everything real.

It made everything a lie. Every word he said, everything he did.

“Knew what? What are you talking about?” Jon demanded, expression half between anger, half between shock at the tears streaming.

“About everything! You must have had such a great time lying to me with Mr. Elxa!” I shouted back, hitting his hands away from my shoulders roughly. The righteous, indignant anger won out over the pain and hurt at the moment, and I took the pleasure of lashing it out on someone as I grabbed the bag sitting alone in the safe, jumping to my feet.

They’d taken my life away from me, for their own sick pleasures, and made me believe that they were truly a troubled father-and-son duo. They’d taken away my freedom, and shackled me to Jon, depriving me of my own life. No wonder Mr. Elxa had wanted me disconnected from the outside world; had wanted to stop me from making friends outside giving the excuse of protecting Jon’s safety. He’d been making a joke out of me the entire time, and Jon had joined hands with him to make me a gigantic fool.

“Lie?” Jon asked, incredulous as I heard his footsteps following after me as I stomped out of Mr. Elxa’s walk-in closet. “Why would I lie to you? What would I lie to you about?”

“I don’t know!” I screamed, clenching my free hand into a fist while I threw my newly-found bag on the floor of the bedroom in a fit of rage. “How about the fact of why the hell I’m here, and what exactly Mr. Elxa needed me for? How about the fact that you guys totally made a fool out of me, and probably shared endless laughter mocking at someone like me, desperate to salvage the faked broken relationship between the two of you? I can’t believe I cared!”

Jon’s footsteps stopped behind me.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jon demanded. “We’re not making fools out of you! At least, I’m not! Everything about us is real! Everything that you know between me, you and Elxa, it’s all real!”

“Right!” I spat angrily, spinning around with irate anger. Why the hell would Jon want to continue pretending? “The game is over, Jon! Mr. Elxa told me everything! How everything was a lie, how he was just conning me, and using me to his advantage! He’s just a conman, and so are you! So do me a favor and leave me alone from now on, Jon!”

“Conman?” Jon repeated, blinking a few times as if trying to comprehend what that word meant. “You are half right. Elxa’s a con. But I’m not a conman. I haven’t been lying to you, Kaylen. You need to calm down, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Yeah, right.” I decided I didn’t need to see that bag anymore –the bag that symbolized every of Mr. Elxa’s lie –as I turned away, thinking to make for my bedroom, so that I could pack up and leave everything behind. “Like hell I would sit down and listen to another lie from you and your father.”

“Wait.” Jon’s incessant footsteps following me stopped and it was by pure reflex that I stopped in the middle of the hallway too. “My father? Who are you talking about now?”

“Mr. Elxa, of course. Or are you going to lie to me and tell me that he isn’t your father? Sure, you can drop a bomb on me anytime, Jon? Maybe you aren’t even his son. Maybe you’re adopted. Yeah, that’ll work.” I replied snidely, not trying to leave a single inch of doubt in my heart, for fear that I would crumble again and be taken in their lie again.

“Of course; don’t be ridiculous. Elxa isn’t my father.”

“And May isn’t your mother.” I shot back quickly, crossing my arms and turning around to survey his reaction, wondering exactly how long he was going to keep his lie up.

Again, he did the slow blinking of his gray eyes, as if he suddenly began to realize something else altogether.

“By the gods. You really believe my mother fucked Elxa and had me?” His tone of question was so shocked and incredulous that I couldn’t help but allow the seed of doubt to grow.

“What else, then? You don’t deny that May is your mother, but what will you deny then that isn’t a lie?” I challenged, but Jon shook his head, as if to clear the thoughts inside.

“You got it all wrong. May is my mother, Jed is my father. Elxa isn’t my father, though he always makes himself out to be since he’s responsible for me ever since they died.” The matter-of-fact tone in Jon’s voice took me aback, and I tried my best to search for some sort of truth in his eyes, though it remained a fact that I was extremely bad at it, because I could not decide if it was the truth or not.

“Then who is he to you?”

“Maybe you need to sit down. I’ll tell you everything, and if you decide that you are still angry at him, then I’m not going to stop your leaving.” Jon offered, gesturing towards the couch. We’d moved back to Mr. Elxa’s apartment after Jon calmed down, and we had been waiting anxiously for a call or any form of connection from him ever since. I had been elated when the phone finally rang, but his words had torn me apart.

Not wanting to dwell on further thoughts about Mr. Elxa’s cold, factual tone of voice when he’d addressed me, I stalked past Jon with righteous anger and sat heavily back down on the couch, still crossing my arms to show that I wasn’t ready to swallow his lies whole just as yet.

Jon seemed to know my wariness of him now, as he chose to sit at the armchair close to the couch, so that he wouldn’t exactly have to sit beside me.

“I’m seated.” I said impatiently. “Now explain yourself.”

“You asked who Elxa is to me.” Jon started, and I nodded impatiently.

“He is my elder brother. Yes, I understand our age gap is pretty large, but it changes no fact. I was born when Elxa was twelve. I don’t know how you expect Elxa to be able to impregnate a woman to have me at the young age of 12, but I will assure you that he is not my father.” Jon continued, as I hit my mind into a mental block. Right. I had never really dwelt on Mr. Elxa’s age, always charting him down to be in his early thirties. It had never struck me that Mr. Elxa could be a little too young to be Jon’s father.

“I’ll tell you everything without the lies, but you must listen to me and put in no opinions of your own.” Jon made himself clear, and I nodded silently. I would decide if I would forgive him and Mr. Elxa for lying to me after he was done explaining.

“Then we’ll start from long ago. We need to cover some grounds if we want to make everything clear.” Jon shifted to make himself comfortable in his armchair, and looked at me coolly.

And then he started.

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My family is not the typical family. We are a family of cons. My father is –was –Jed Dal, my mother May Lorrens. They had Elxa first, then 12 years later, I came out as an accident. My parents were both cons, my father being one of the best few in the industry. My father claimed the seat on a council called The Circle, which presides over the entire world of cons, and held power that few men can hope to wield. He, from the Dal family, had a forbidden love with May, who came from his rival family.

Dal and Lorrens had been fighting for long, and so it was understandable that my mother and father could not be together. But they ignored all odds, and Mother decided to turn her back on her family. She escaped to be with my father, and when he claimed the seat on The Circle, he declared that he would protect her from anyone who would be against their relationship –both from Dal and Lorrens. He didn’t have to worry about his own family; they welcomed Mother like one of their own. Lorrens, however, hated her for the sting of betrayal.

Then they gave birth to Elxa. From what I know, they taught Elxa to be the perfect conman, to grow up taking the footsteps of our father on The Circle. Elxa, with incredibly ingenuous mind, must have flourished under their care, because ever since I was born, I knew my brother to be a conniving, cheating man. Elxa was already mature enough to make decisions for the family when I was born, and Mum and Dad treated him like an equal –not their child. He thought for everyone, and they trusted his opinion as much as they trusted each other.

They chose a different path for me. They wanted to give me a choice to be a con or not, and so they didn’t force me to pick up the skills like how they did Elxa. Then fifteen years ago, when I was 4, a con war began to brew. Cons never really got along well, but it was The Circle’s job to hold everything together, to smooth out the problems. But –this is what I managed to piece together after furious research when I was younger –this war happened between two members on The Circle itself –Hayley Seyfried and a man named Tyler Yule.

Everyone was made to choose, and Elxa convinced Mum and Dad to join hands with Hayley. Tyler was furious to find out that another member on The Circle was siding against him, and in retaliation, he cut the brakes in their car on the day that they planned to meet Hayley to tell her of their decision. Mum and Dad were in the front, and Elxa was at the back. The car crashed through the barriers and rolled down a hill before it was battered to a stop by a tree. Then it exploded. Elxa was somehow pulled out before the explosion, but they were too late for our parents.

I was only 4 years old. I didn’t understand anything. Elxa took it upon himself to watch after me. He called himself my father, and refused to get help from anyone. A conman of 16, he knew how to cover his tracks in the eyes of the laws, and we didn’t end up in foster care.

And then he continued conning. That was when I began to hate him. I knew it was because of the con world that our parents died, and still Elxa wanted to con. I thought it was because of his conning that I lost my parents, that he somehow planned it. I thought he was trying to put me in danger too, because he just couldn’t stop conning and meddling in that dangerous world.

He never tried to make things clear for me. He just took my hatred as it was, and he just kept silent throughout. He doesn’t exactly make a good father for a young boy. You know how I was when you first came.

I swear to God, I have no idea that he was lying to you. I thought you knew at the very least that he was a conman. Even if you didn’t know he was a conman, I thought at least he was trying to protect you and me by not telling you anything. If there is one thing I can rely on him for, then it is his responsibility in protecting me. Ever since the death of our parents, he seemed to take on the role of an external person, as if he doesn’t belong in the family. He doesn’t call May our Mum, he calls her by name. He calls our father by name. It’s like he doesn’t want to remind himself that he belonged into the family that he destroyed.

So when he brought you in –like he brought in so many woman in before –I thought he was just being annoying, trying to make up for what he couldn’t ever make up for.

But you changed those thoughts for me, Kaylen. You opened up my eyes to the real him, and you made me change. You made me see that he wasn’t conning just because he loved it. He was conning to support us, to make sure that I was safe because if he didn’t become powerful through conning, then there would always be people looking to hunt us down like how Tyler hunted our parents down. There was no point in my destroying myself to make him hurt. I learnt it all with Ellen; it was never his idea to keep conning. But it was what he had been taught right from when he was born. It was all he could do to survive and keep me alive too.

Yes, he was a bad father, a bad guardian to an angry teenager. But that was all he could be blamed for. It wasn’t him who killed our parents. It was Tyler. It wasn’t his choice to continue conning and put us in danger. It was our parent’s forced decision on him.

In fact, Elxa had gone so far as to punish Tyler for his crime. While I had been a useless, worthless rebel, Elxa had been out there in the con world, trying to drown himself in the work that our father once did, trying to protect me by being the most powerful. Elxa is now on The Circle, taking up our father’s seat. He’s trying to fulfil Jed’s dream of seeing his son powerful on The Circle, while trying to make up to May by making sure that I am safe and alright at all times.

That’s why Elxa is what he is now. I cannot explain why he brought you in, Kaylen. I cannot explain what he said to you. I cannot explain why he lied to you, and led you to believe that I am his son, but I’ve learnt by now that he has a reason for everything.

And I’m disgusted, Kaylen.

I’m disgusted by myself. I cannot believe what a ridiculous punk I have been acting since the death of our parents. You can give the excuse that I was young, but it changes no fact that I was just useless and a lousy little brother.

I loved Elxa when I was young, Kaylen. I looked at him like he was everything when our parents were still alive, and he loved me back. We had each other’s backs. But when our parents died, it was like he had died in my heart too. All I saw was a shell of the old Elxa.

And I, being young, hated him. Can you imagine what he had to go through? 16 years old, just lost his parents, having to take care of his younger brother who has turned around and hated his guts.

I would have killed myself.

I don’t know what to do to make it up to him, Kaylen. I owe him so much; I owe him my life. I owe him for every time he took my insults quietly, every time he came down to bail me out of jail, every time he kept me out of trouble. I used to hate his surveillance on me, but right now, I can’t be anymore grateful. He had loved me all this while, and all I wanted was for him to hurt and suffer, nursing a wound of fifteen years.

It never occurred truly to me that he must be nursing the same wound for fifteen years too. It never occurred to me that he was trying to make up for his mistake 15 years ago by taking care of me. It never occurred that it might not be his fault that our parents died.

It… never occurred to me… that I had been the bastard all these 15 years.

I’m a fucking bastard, Kaylen. I hate myself for all that I’ve done to him.

If he comes back, if he walks back through the door now, I’m going to go to my knees and beg his forgiveness. I’m going to apologize for everything I said, screaming at him in rage. I’m going to tell him that I love him like the brother he has been all this while.

I’m going to tell him that he means everything to me in this world.

He is everything I have left in this world.

I cannot explain how he cheated you, but I can tell you the side of him you don’t know. Elxa is not a good man –he is a conman. He lies and cheats, cons and lies. He plays deceit and he covers up his wrongdoings with more lies.

But he loves me. And I think he loves you too.

So if you still can’t forgive him, I understand. But I will stay here, waiting until he comes home. And if he doesn’t, I will hunt down Ellen and make her pay for destroying my brother. I don’t care if he did everything he did to protect me. I will hunt down Ellen, and I will make sure she understands that Elxa isn’t the only Dal in the family.

I am Jon Dal, and even if no one has trained me in the areas of conning, I am still a force to be reckoned with. My brother is Elxa Dal, and I will never be ashamed and disgusted to say that ever again.

My brother is Elxa Dal, and I will never forgive myself if I don’t see him ever again.

My brother is Elxa Dal, and I will never hate him for trying to protect me, for making up for something that he could never have prevented.

My brother is Elxa Dal, and I love him.