"Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing." — Torquato Tasso

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Chapter 45
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Maggie

I tucked the last of the nail polish away. "How was that?"

Granny turned her hand in all sorts of directions for a better view. "Perfect, as always. This color compliments me so well."

I chuckled, tucking my feet under me in my chair. "You're looking like a new woman already, granny."

I had been at the hospital all day. I wanted to use the excuse of just wanting to visit, but in all honesty, I was just trying to avoid Luke.

We hadn't talked since yesterday evening. Not a peep. All that was shared between us were a couple glares, and a hushed tension.

This morning, I'd found him sitting at the table with my favorite breakfast already plated, and my seat prepared. Me, being the petty bitch I am, walked in and out without a word, took my plate and juice, then returned back to my room.

I didn't want to be mean, but I didn't deserve to be disrespected, either. If he thought he had the right to be mad, then I sure as hell did, too.

I'd only done what he'd done for me: helped. As much as I rejected it at first, I learned to accept it and attempted to show my gratitude. I hadn't went and said things like he did, despite how badly I wanted to.

The moment he practically forced me to accept his help, he'd signed his own shit over to me, as well. Now, it was mine to deal with too, or least mine to help him deal with. I didn't give a shit if he didn't like it. I didn't let the people I cared about just get beaten senseless when there was a free chance standing right in front of me to stop it.

I hadn't even realized my anger was beginning to physically show until I heard granny.

"What's got you so constipated tonight?"

My eyes raised to hers. Despite the anger from last night, a small chuckle slipped from me. It was the first one ever since then.

"Nothing," I lied through a sigh. "It's nothing at all."

Granny narrowed her eyes at me, studying me over. "Hmm." I could tell she wasn't convinced, but knew that it'd be a lost cause to ask.

"Whatever you say, baby. Here." Before I could react, she shoved a KitKat piece into my mouth. Her smile lit up at me. "Candy fixes damn near everything. Eat up and wipe that frown off, right now."

I chuckled around the candy, grabbing it to bite a piece off. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special, you know that?" Genuinely so.

As I said, I'd been here all day since I didn't know who else to go to for a distraction. I wasn't going to Jax, and I definitely wasn't going to call Kimberly and Raven about it. As much as I needed their advice on how to handle these men of ours, I wouldn't take the chance of them linking it all together.

I had definitely tested my grandmothers' nerves, though. She'd even threatened to call security to escort me out if I didn't get going soon.

Since I was at a hospital, I turned my phone off to stop Luke from following me, but it was nearing ten o'clock, now. As much as I dreaded it, I knew I'd have to get going soon.

I didn't want another late fake-officer, attempted murder situation ever again. That man had waited until it was near midnight since the traffic would be light, which meant less or close to no witnesses.

I kissed granny goodbye, tucked her in, even though she was faking sleep, then left her for the night. As soon as I shut the door to her room, I think I may have heard her whoop with joy.

In the elevator, I turned my phone back on for the tracker, just in case. If there was a problem waiting for me, at least they would be aware of my corpse's location.

As soon as the phone turned back on, though, I was getting absolutely hammered. Text after text from Luke, and calls that seemed to never end from the moment the clock hit nine.

I scrolled through some of them while I walked through the hospital doors. I caught glimpse of a couple of curses before I was hearing one with my own two ears.

My eyes jerked up from the screen, and, I was right.

Luke was standing by my car one second, then the next, he was right in front of me. Even past the bruises along his face, the rage cracked right through.

His eyes jerked over my lit phone, then rose back to me. He narrowed them at me. "Why didn't you answer me?" he snapped. "I've been driving around, looking for you for the past couple of hours, Maggie. Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"

I locked my jaw into place. "You found me, didn't you?"

"That isn't what this shit is about," he hissed in return. "I don't care what we're fighting about; I don't care if you don't want to talk to me. You don't turn your phone off, and you sure as hell never stop me from knowing whether or not you're safe and okay. I'm not doing that shit, and you're not, either."

Pulling my arms over my chest, I flicked my head at him. "Is this coming from the man who wanted me to stop caring? Who said that they didn't want anything from the girl who'll only make a fool of herself?" My chuckle was full of sarcasm. "So, tell me, Luke. Why should said girl give the asshole who yelled at her a response, or any attention at all?"

Luke's jaw clenched, his eyes falling. When they returned to my face, the blues were rimmed with agitation.

"We'll talk when we get home," he huffed out, casting another glare at me. "We're going to be talking about a lot of shit when we get home. Like—"

Scoffing, I jerked around with a mumbled, "You can talk to your own damn self."

I heard him release a frustrated sigh, along with his heavy footsteps against the concrete.

"Maggie," he said with heaps of agitation at me.

"I don't care, remember?"

He stopped me by a gentle grab of the hand, a heated tone slipping through his words. "Just slow down, and we can—"

"Don't." I yanked my hand back, throwing a glare at him over my shoulder. "It's not my fault you can't keep up."

I had to clamp my lips shut in order to avoid cursing him every which way there was. Instead, I focused on digging my keys out of my bag.

"I'm trying, Maggie," he attempted, his voice weakening. "I'm trying," he repeated with a tone that left me pausing for a moment.

The statement didn't come from this situation alone. We both knew that.

With the amount of emotion attached to it, it came from something much bigger. This thing that we'd silently built over the past couple of months. Us, this connection, that was beginning to sabotage both of our oaths of emotional isolation.

"I'm trying, okay?" he said, nearly to a whisper. "I am, Maggie. I swear I am."

The pitch of his words alone pricked at my heart, except no bleeding followed. All it did was cut holes to allow in even more of this feeling.

I glared down at the concrete with a force that physically hurt to hold. I tried to make way past his confession with nothing but coolness, but it was much more difficult than I anticipated. Until I remembered our fight.

Instead of listening to the physical reaction his words brought on, I shoved them down. I couldn't listen to it any longer when it came to him.

With an extra push, I forced myself away from the pile of emotion beginning to build in between us. I could feel him watching me, waiting for me to address it all, but for right now, I was incapable of doing so.

Luke trailed behind me in his own car. I continued to make passes in the mirror, but just as the previous times, he was right there.

After I entered the code to pass the gates, I pulled into his driveway, and he did the same, stopping right behind my car. I saw the door of his car fling open so hard, it seemed like a trippy hallucination.

On the way up the stairs, I could hear him trailing hot on my heels.

I passed by the kitchen first in order to find something to eat. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was planning to fix that.

As soon as I turned to the fridge, Luke placed something down. "I got you something to eat on the way to the hospital."

With an eye roll, I headed for the island. On top of it, was a bag of food from one of my favorite fast food places. I knew that he had got it just to butter me up, and if I weren't so hungry, I probably would have rejected it just for the hell of it.

With it in my hand, I stepped past Luke, but he blocked me off. With the size of his body, it was impossible to find an exit if he didn't make one hisself.

His glare has lessened enough to stop me from walking off mid-conversation, but even then, the bits and pieces of anger still remained inside of me.

"Where have you been all day, Maggie?" he asked. "And, what in the hell made you think it was okay to turn your phone off?"

I met his freshly worn glare. "What I do is none of your business."

His eyes nearly fell bulged at my response. "So, it's none of my business if you were missing? If you were fucking hurt or—"

Instead of listening, I turned away to retrieve a drink from the fridge.

Luke stepped closer, and something in my body seemed to jumpstart at his nearing presence. The motherfucker always betrayed me when it came to him.

"Norris," he snapped from behind me. At my silence, he mumbled a curse. "If you could just sit, and let me—"

I turned, but only to push by him to get to my room. Before I could get too far, he grasped my wrist in a gentle hold, tugging me back.

That familiar wall of pleasure edged along the very spot he touched. Despite my anger, I cursed my bodily reaction.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you, Maggie," he demanded, attempting to block me off, again. "We need to talk. We're not going to sleep in a fight, again. No way in hell."

"You've already said all you needed to say," I replied with a simple tone, side-stepping him.

My feet carried me off to my bedroom. Luke tried to walk in right behind me, but I shut the door in his face, then locked it. The last thing I caught sight of was the infuriated glare in his eye, and the last of his patience slipping.

His fist came down on it, nearly knocking the door down from the impact. It rattled and shook, but just as it did, I remained just as determined to keep him out. Fuck him.

"Maggie, if you don't open this shit right now and talk to me..." he demanded from his side, his voice hard. I heard him huff. "Don't make me break it down because you know I will."

I rolled my eyes at him, instead turning to my bed. The fucker could kiss my ass if he thought I was opening that door. He could easily break the door down without a sweat, but refrained due to the consequences that would follow from me.

I had to admit it, though. It was more than difficult to even get to sleep last night. I'd gotten maybe two hours, and that was only because Fang came into my room to cuddle with me, and I wasn't sure but maybe it was having someone related to Luke that didn't make me have a nightmare. I considered it a mini success.

"Maggie," he snapped through the door. I could see him now: fists clenched, red in the face, and a mess of curses. "Can you just quit being so fucking stubborn, and open the door?"

I scoffed, mumbling a, "Can you quit being an ass, and pushing people who care about you away?"

I guessed he'd heard it. "You know what?" A heavy curse came in the form of a huff. "Fine. You wanna keep this shit going? Go ahead; I don't give a fuck."

His banging stopped, then turned to silence. For a moment, I wondered if he were prepping himself for a drop kick to the door, but it didn't come, thankfully.

I rolled my eyes, swallowing back the swarm of anger as I sunk back into my pillows. I was nearly comfortable until I felt something poke into my back.

I raised myself just enough to retrieve it. It was probably one of Fangs' toys.

It wasn't, though. It was a wrapped box with my name written on top. Well, my last name.

I blinked at it for a moment. The 'Norris' made it's sender obvious.

I unwrapped it, quickly. The item that awaited me had my heart slamming right into my rib cages until I found it hard to breathe. It was a Harry Potter nightlight.

To be exact, the Hogwarts castle. It was more of a LED lamp than a nightlight, but it could be used as both. My name was engraved in it, which meant that it was personally designed for me.

Cool shock struck me. "What the fuck," I breathed out. "Luke, what the fuck..." He wasn't here to help me grasp it, but I still voiced my confusion, anyway.

The gift was personal. He knew it was my favorite series that I used to coax me into sleep more often than not. I hadn't even known he bought it, let alone was thinking of buying it. It was so beautiful.

Hurriedly, I replaced my older nightlight with this one, and watched as it came to life. When I finally turned the lights off, that, as well as the the glow-in-the-dark stars illuminated the room perfectly.

I didn't let that scrap at my anger, though. It was an amazing gift, but if this was his way of trying to make amends, then he'd failed. Gifts didn't compare to an apology, and that was what I deserved for his disrespect.

My shower felt quick, since my only thought was returning to the gift Even as I ate my food, I couldn't stop admiring it.

A soft knock rung from my door. My chest sucked in without even needing a voice behind it.

"Norris," his voice had shifted from a thousand bullets to a million feathers. "Open the door. Please."

Over my pajama shorts, I glared down at the skin along my knees. Around an hour had passed ever since he last attempted to last reach me, but it was his voice that was edging past the rounds of agitation.

"I know I fucked up, okay?" he sighed out with a saddened tint to it. "But, I don't want you mad at me. I don't want you to think that I meant any of that shit I said. Just..." I heard a soft thump at the door. "Let me try to fix it."

There was clawing at my door, then whining to follow up behind it. I knew who to place the sound with.

On disorientated legs, I stood to get to the door. I knew Luke was listening, but he'd be mistaken. What he said wasn't an apology.

I heard him curse under his breath. "Maggie, if you could just talk to me—"

I pulled the door open, just enough. I caught sight of Luke's relief, but only for a couple of seconds, because as soon as Fang was through, I shut the door, again.

Luke huffed with frustration, "Fang, you backstabbing little fucker."

Fang trotted over to me for pets, oblivious to all else. I chuckled through the tension, kneeling to his level. I had to weave a bit in order to avoid getting drowned in slobber, but that didn't stop him from licking at my wrist, anyway.

I chuckled, stroking his fur with a sigh. "Your dad's an asshole." I knew he couldn't understand me, but it was nice to let him in on it, anyway.

"Maggie," Luke sighed. Even from here, I could hear him pacing across the floor. "Listen, I...damn it, can you just open the door?"

Fang barked at the door, answering for me.

I heard him mutter a fresh set of curses. "I'm sorry, okay? I am, but just let me..." a thump echoed from the door, so I guessed he was leaning against it. The timbre of his voice only seemed to deepen. "Please let me in. Please talk to me. Please."

The desperation in his voice mixed in with the plea left me so spiraled, I had to recount the steps back to my plan. It was a sample of an apology, so I guess I'd give him that.

I pushed past the feelings of anger long enough to make way to a sense of maturity.  Raising myself from Fang, I returned to the door.

I poked my head through the small space to see Luke leaning against the wall, his expression hanging low with a mix of frustration and gloom. His heavy eyes jumped up to mine once he heard the creak of the door.

My hand fell from the door to motion to him. "If you're an asshole, I'm kicking you out. Understand?"

I excepted a retort as a response, but all I got was a quick nod of understanding. I stepped back as he leaned up from his spot, and started in my direction.

After flipping on the light, I settled back in bed with Fang at my feet. He was watching Luke with a look of warning or for mistake. I had to fight back a chuckle. That was my boy.

Luke shut the door behind him with a soft click. From his dampened hair, he was fresh out of the shower, and somehow more attractive than ever. As always, he didn't sport a shirt, just a pair of sweats that rode low on his hips.

Butterflies smacked and rolled in my stomach, even after I averted my eyes elsewhere. I couldn't help it.

He tried to sit on my bed, but before he could, Fang used his head to push him away. Luke glared down at him, before rolling his eyes, and stepping back.

His eyes went to mine, the turn of regret in them evident. I glanced away, tucked my legs under me, crossed my arms, then waited.

"I'm sorry," he rushed out before trying again, "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said any of that shit to you."

"No, you shouldn't have," I agreed, my voice steady. "You were an ass."

"A stupid one," he mumbled, sighing. He approached me, slowly this time. "I'm sorry, Maggie."

"You've said that already."

"Look..." A look of frustration rested over his expression as he shoved a hand through his hair. "I don't know how to say this apology type of thing, Maggie. I've never had to do it before, I've never gotten one before. Not a real one. But, I've been running this shit over in my head all night, and..." He took another step to me, his apologetic eyes piercing right through mine. "I recognize that I made you feel bad, and that I shouldn't have, I see that I hurt you, and how I hurt you, and I apologize for it. For it all." His voice was soft with honesty. "I'm sorry. I should have tried to look at it from your perspective, but I didn't, and most of my life, I've had a tendency of letting my anger get the best of me before anything else, and saying the most stupidest shit in the world. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, and I for damn sure shouldn't have said any of that shit that I didn't mean. Not at all."

I tugged at my lip, my glare slowly falling into a stare the longer his words settled into my anger. "You're sorry?"

Even past the darkening bruises, I could see the sincerity. "I'm sorry," he said, slowly sinking onto the bed. Fang remained to my side, creating a barrier between us, but the way Luke's eyes lured mine in, nothing could have separated the link. "I'm so sorry, Maggie."

Luke met my gaze, his own mirroring how compunctious he truly was. Instead of the hard exterior he usually carried, was a softened plead for my forgiveness.

A sigh left me. My eyes fell to my lap, no longer set in a glare that could burn through the toughest of material.

I hoped I was right in my belief. It was evident, physically, that he was sorry, and as long as he showed it with further action, then I could accept it.

"I forgive you," I muttered, before raising my voice to mirror my own apology. "And, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have said any of the things I said to you."

He shook his head, his face relaxing around relief. "Don't say you're sorry. What you said was built off of what I did first."

I nodded, nibbling on my lip. I raised my eyes a second later. "I have something else to say, too."

He shifted closer, his attention set on me. "Tell me."

"Luke." Inhaling, I let my exhale go into, "If you ever in your fucking life think to talk to me like that again, you won't even have a chance to apologize before I leave. Do you understand me?"

He nodded as soon, sending ruffled strands astray. "I do. Of course I do."

My arms fell to my sides. "Good."

His body fell with such a relief, it seemed to make him look younger. His eyes jumped over to his bracelet, which he'd been twiddling with the entire time.

"I just didn't want you to hurt yourself with the gun," he explained, his voice barely right on the line of quiet and audible. "That was my only concern through it all. You."

"I don't let the people I care about go through their shit alone," I responded. "Especially things like that. You can't expect, nor ask me to just sit still when it happens. Especially against you."

Fang, who was trying to get some sleep, huffed at our voices, jumped from my bed, then trailed over to his doggy bed in the corner.

"I know." Luke took the chance to grow closer, his expression heavy with guilt. "I've never had anyone help me like this before, and I've never really been this close and trusting and shit like that with someone, either. It's so new, and so fucking different from well...all of my life." His brows furrowed down at his bracelet. "When you're so used to no one really caring about you, you're scared as shit when someone suddenly does. Especially when you care about them even more. It's one of the best feelings in the world, but still scary as shit, too."

I took understanding in that part. It was foreign for me to trust someone as much as I did him, but for him, a lot of this was so obviously new. He'd never had a Jax, or a Dixie Reeves. It had to be scary to suddenly have someone who aided his fight, no matter who or what it was against.

With a small smile, I tilted my head at him. "Wasn't it you that said you weren't scared of anything, or anyone, Palce? What would everyone say?"

"I guess that shit changed a bit."

"Oh, yeah? When?"

He shrugged, running his thumb over the outline of his knuckles. He released a sigh that morphed into his confession, "Probably when I figured out that losing you scares the shit out of me. Nothing in the world ever has, or ever could touch that type of fear for me."

A pleasurable feeling ranged in between agreement and astonishment trailed up from the tips of my toes, until it had me well in its embrace. I couldn't even form a timely response that would barely agree to how much I related to his confession.

Without a doubt, losing Luke was at the top of the list for my fears. Just the thought had my mind spinning, spiraling and unhooking from the last sanity I had left. I couldn't imagine losing him, any of him, in general.

I wasn't exactly sure if Luke meant it in the way that I did, though. I didn't know if he meant as friends, or just as roommates, or as more. But, I didn't. As much as I doubted it, I knew that I meant something along the lines of every single feeling I'd only found in him. For him.

I raised my eyes to Luke, who was smiling softly at his bracelet. At it, my insides twisted up at the thought of voicing my true feelings. Whether I was reading into it, him, wrong, the fear was stopping me from finding out.

I swallowed back the truth, instead focusing on what I did best: sarcasm. "Don't kiss my ass too much, Palce." I forced a neutral smile over my face. "I can't help that our impulsive personalities make us such a good team."

His chuckle was full. "We do make a good one, don't we, Norris?"

I nodded, sweeping a hand through my hair to knock it out of my ponytail. I was feeling much more lighter now that we were okay, again. "The best."

His eyes met mine. He stared at me so closely, I nearly forgot to break the link.

My gaze went to the night light sitting on my nightstand as a distraction. Its beautiful design helped return me to an appropriate reality. I smiled at it in adoration.

Luke caught my look. "You like it?"

"I love it." I looked to him. "Was this your form of groveling?"

His face scrunched with confusion. "What the fuck is that?"

Mountains of chuckles tumbled from my tongue. "It's basically when someone fucks up, and begs for forgiveness. No matter what it takes." I paused before adding, "Remember how Kade chased after Kimberly for nearly a year after they broke up? Bought her all that shit, kept up with the apologies, the skywriting at the Christmas lights. That."

It clicked, then. "Oh..." Luke thought it over before nodding. "Then, no. The nightlight isn't my idea of groveling."

I raised a humored brow at him. "So now you're an expert, huh?"

He chuckled with a shake of the head, his fingers working at the bracelet. "No, but if I ever fuck up to that extent..." he nibbled on his lip, thinking it over. "Your favorite car is the one you've been working on for me, so it'd be yours."

"You'd give me a Mercedes over a little fight?"

"If it hurts you, then it's not a little anything, and I wouldn't treat it or getting you back as if it was," he shrugged. "When you're really sorry, and when you really want someone, you'll do whatever the fuck it takes."

In my astonishment, my mouth opened for a response, but I couldn't get anything out before he continued.

He chuckled. "You know, Ryder preached that shit to me every single time I called him a dumbass for leaving, and chasing after a girl." He paused, flicking his head at me. "But, I understand why he did it, now. For the first time, I honestly, really do."

I paused, my everything cut short. My eyes slipped up to him in shock.

I wasn't even sure if he realized what he just said, or how pressing it was. But, I did. It was him understanding why his friend went after his girl, and the only way he would be able to understand that is if...

He thought it about me.

Luke carried on as normal, as if he hadn't just turned me into a sorry excuse of mush with a heartbeat. "You know..." A smile tipped his lips. "It sucked not having dinner with you last night."

'Breathe, Maggie,' I begged myself. It was random. It was just a random statement from him, nothing more.

If only I could tell my racing heart that.

My fingers locked around a bead, counting each and every single one in order to have some type of clearheadedness here. "You missed me, didn't you?"

Luke forged a look of disgust. "Are you kidding? Fuck no, I..." he paused, running a hand through his hair as he sighed. "You know what? Fine. I missed the shit out of you, okay? I did."

I thought I may have fled the skin I was born in, and just witnessed my own life flashing in front of me. But, at the hammering at my heart, the feeling was debunked.

"I knew it." Grinning, I kicked him softly with the bottom of my foot. "It's cool. I know I'm amazing and simply the best person you've ever known, and a million other terms that kiss my own ass. I told you, all it takes is a few weeks to—"

Luke gripped the foot I had hit him with, yanking me down to him. Through my giggles, he didn't stop until my feet were tucked comfortably in his lap.

"Don't get it twisted, Norris," he scoffed, attempting a scowl. "At the first given chance, I'll still sacrifice you for a case of beer."

"Don't be ridiculous; you'd miss me too much."

With an eye roll, his finger began to trace loose patterns into the skin of my ankles. The same butterflies that I deemed untouchable debunked that very theory. Just as all of the other feelings, Luke was the one who managed to retrieve them from the grave.

My eyes snapped up to him as he cleared his throat.

"Maggie," he called, gently squeezing at my ankle. "I meant what I said earlier about your phone and the tracker. I know we were fighting, and I know that you didn't want to talk to me, but please. Don't ever do that again." He turned to face me fully, a frown framing his face. "With your dads' friends out there, I don't want to not know exactly where you are. I'm not risking shit when it comes to you, and you're not, either. No matter what the fuck goes on between us, your phone stays on, and you don't not answer me to let me know that you're okay. If you want me to leave you alone afterwards, then fine. I will." His expression folded into one which welcomed no discussion or argument. "But, you have to give me a confirmation that you're safe and that you're okay before I do. I'm not settling for anything else unless it's that. That shit will always stand, you hear me?" The meaning of his words echoed right through his dark eyes.

I nodded in understanding. I knew that no matter how petty I wanted to be, my father would take advantage of the situation if I offered it. "I understand."

Luke nodded, fingers squeezing at my ankle, again. The light had returned to his expression, as well as a smile. "So...we're okay, now, right?"

I smiled in return, nodding. "We're okay, pretty boy."

Despite our talk, hearing it made his body relax. "Thank fuck."

His attention jumped to the nightlight, squinting his eyes at it. His tongue darted in the corner of his cheek, like he was having to physically conceal it in order to avoid speaking.

I went right for it. "What is it?"

His eyes flickered to mine. "What?"

"You have that face on."

"What face?"

I rolled my eyes. "The one where you're trying to decide whether or not you'll be an ass that day."

It was funny, how observant we truly were with the other. Luke always claimed that he could read me without issue, but I could say the same about him. I considered him one of the most important people in my life, and with that, came my attention.

Luke was mean. He was cruel, and selfish. He was an ass, and a spoiled, literal bastard. He was rich. He had every single thing that a nineteen year old boy would want: money, women, a wealthy and powerful, picture perfect family. He was a bad guy.

That was how other people saw him, and what was perceived of him. That was what a number of people thought they knew about him.

But, here's what I knew about Luke.

Luke was an asshole with a sweet heart. He was kind, and sharing. He only cared for a select few, but those same people were the luckiest people in the world to have it, and him. Because, he cared hard. He gave the very thing he hadn't received from the people who were supposed to teach him that. He showed his care in many ways that he didn't even perceive as that at all, which was why he was so astonished when the action was appreciated or the service was returned to him.

He loves pizza, but with barely any sauce, because it makes him nauseated if he has too much. He loves to eat cereal from a plate, and if not that, then he eats cereal from those little snack cups, but never with milk. He likes to drive with his knees. He loves to watch Harry Potter movies, despite debunking the theory. Cursing is like breathing to him, but fuck is his favorite one. He erases a smile from his face whenever I catch him looking at me, and he smiles every single time that he sees my hair hanging down.

He blushes whenever I call him out on his selflessness or when I compliment him. The only person that he lets call him by his mother's last name is me, because it makes him give the biggest of smiles when I do. He doesn't dive into his feelings or even skim the surface with anyone, except me. He's only vulnerable with me. He scowls at every single one of the unfunny puns and riddles I tell him to keep him awake, but as soon as I start to drift to sleep, he always recalls and laughs at them. He gets this goofy grin every single time I sit down at the table for dinner.

There's a difference in the appearance he gives to the world and the one I have of him, too. Like this. His real smiles and laughs are only used when his dimple is deepened to a pinch, and when the corners of his eyes are crinkling right along with it. He only gives those to me, this. The others are just for show to the public.

He actually, really likes to talk, but pretends he doesn't, and even though he disguises it as being annoyed, it's really him being afraid that he'll annoy whoever it is he's talking to. He only ever gets shy when it comes to talking to me. He likes to sit beside me every single time we go out, or have dinner, and passes it off as nothing but really wants to be close enough to bump knees or shoulders with me ever so often since he knows it makes me laugh.

To a stranger's eye, Luke was a monster. To me, though, and this was one of the most honest things I'd ever admitted...Luke was one of the sweetest, most affectionate, and caring boys in the world. For a thousand bad things someone had to say about him, I could find a million good ones.

He chuckled at me. "I'm wondering if you'll make me leave if I ask you something."

"Find out." It had to be something eminent if he were so afraid to say it.

His fingers continued to stroke at my ankles,  I wondered if he could feel how bubbly the skin had grown, or if he'd even confront it. I couldn't blame him if he didn't; I was a little chicken shit about things like this too, I'd found out as of late.

Finally, he heaved in a single breath before asking, "Why are you so scared of the dark?"

That question alone jump-started my flight or fight. It was one I never thought I'd have to answer out loud, because I'd never shown it so freely to anyone before. It was one of those things that you knew weren't normal, but accepted, anyway.

I fought back the desire to flee, because this was Luke. He'd proven to me a number of times that I didn't have to. That I could talk about the hardest or the simplest things, and still be as comfortable as I was in the beginning with him. It didn't take away the shame, though.

"It would..." My head fell. "It would take hours to explain."

"Then, I'll sit here and listen for hours," he swore to me, his hand falling to my own.

Electricity drowned all else out, but even then, I was still struggling. I tried to find the exact pinpoint of my fear, but words wouldn't be enough. Only witnesses to the source could barely even graze the idea of understanding.

Finally, I settled on one.

"Monsters come out in the dark," was the only statement that I could provide with a innumerable understanding.

Luke's eyes drilling me right into my spot. "Your dad, he hurt you," he said slowly. "In the dark?"

My gaze fell. "Yes." I didn't want to see the disgust in his eyes, if he understood as much as I didn't want him to. "He did. A lot."

Lukes' expression hardened around pure, cold and bottomless hatred, if not the most intensified sense of rage. He released my foot, instead tightening his hand into a fist that seemed painful to maintain.

After a moment of tensed silence, he pulled in a breath through his nose, then released it in a slow form of a curse.

I watched him, carefully, but my skin reacted quicker than I did. Goosebumps grazed the surface of my arms as he moved closer to me.

"Look at me, Maggie," he demanded softly. "Look at me, right now."

I shook my head. The embarrassment was more than enough to handle without having to see it in his eyes. I knew how badly it looked. I was nineteen, and still terrified of something that toddlers could handle.

Warm fingers trapped my chin in a gentle grasp, and tilted my head up until I was forced to look at him.

His expression softened at me. "He won't hurt you, again. None of them will hurt you, again," he reassured me softly. "Not in your dreams. Not in the dark. Not here, not ever. I promise you that."

By his tone, his acts and looks, I did believe him. But, he had no idea of what awaited him ever since he decided to help me. That was the one thing that stopped my mind from accepting it.

There was something else that caught me off guard, as well.

It was quick, and probably meant nothing, but with the way my life had gone for, well...all my life, I knew to sometimes look into everything with extra care.

Luke had said 'none of them.' He said it, despite me not mentioning a them. I only mentioned my dad, but nothing else should have given him a clear indication of anything else, I didn't think.

There were many men. I still remembered some of their names, their faces and scents. Their bodies, their clothes. All of it. Some were my dads' friends, looking to collect payment. Others were fathers, husbands, officiants, politicians, men of low and high career positions. Anyone who could fill my dad's pockets were allowed in. Some nights it was just my father alone.

But, no one else other than the people who were in charge over my case, Granny, and my brother knew that. That was it, though.

I shook my head at myself, as well as the dread of betrayal that threatened to climb on my back. I couldn't use my old, doubtful logic with Luke. He had given me every reason to trust him, and I shouldn't forget it.

If he knew, I wouldn't be here. If he knew, he wouldn't be here.

He would be disgusted at it, me, and wouldn't have paid me any thought, ever again. He didn't know, and he wouldn't know until I wanted him to. I trusted him for a reason, and that didn't stop now.

Luke hadn't caught hold of my absentmindedness. His fingers were moving on my jaw, stroking and cradling me as if I were some precious jewel. At least that was how he was looking at me.

A sigh parted my lips. "A part of me..." I shook my head as the thought passed. "A part of me wants to just...get over it, I guess? Or, at least learn to not be afraid of it." My gaze fell to our hands in defeat. "But, it's impossible."

Luke stroked the back of my hand. "You want to?"

It was something I'd always thought about, and even tried a couple times, but it always ended the sane way: in a panic attack.

I didn't have anyone to trust enough to reassure me that the fear was just that. Fear. The monsters weren't there any longer. But, everytime those lights dimmed, I saw the eyes of the devil.

I shook the shame off with a chuckle. "Nevermind. It's stupid. Let's just—"

"Fuck no, it's not stupid. Not at all." He flicked his head at me. "I'll help you."

My mouth fell with shock; out of all of the things I expected...it wasn't that. "You will?"

He passed me a silly look. "Of course I will."

The fear came just as quick as the relief. "It won't work," I sighed, disappointingly. "I've tried it a million times on my own, and—"

"Well, you're not on your own anymore, and you won't be, ever again. Neither of us will be, not so long as the other is here," he interrupted me with a shake off the head. My expression melted at him. "And, I will be. I'm gonna be right there with you. By you. With you. We'll go slow, and only at your pace. We'll make sure you're comfortable, and that you feel safe. Because you are safe, Maggie," he reminded me, squeezing my hand. "I promise you."

I stared back at him in shock, and drowned in awe. His determination set me off in ways I'd never imagined. He wasn't giving up on me, or simply throwing it away. He was helping me realize that I could, and would do it. That I had no reason to drown in my embarrassment with him. That I could finally be me around him.

The thought was so tempting, I couldn't just let it pass. I knew I'd have to conquer the fear one day, and with everything that I'd have to battle in these next couple weeks, the dark was one that I could hopefully add to the list of successes.

I raised my heavy eyes to Luke. "I'll think about it, I promise," I swore. "Thank you so much, Luke."

Waving my thanks off, he nodded, his lips perking up into a smile. "Take your time, Norris." He brought our hands to his lap, squeezing. "Tell me when you're comfortable enough to do it, and we'll get started. I don't give two shits how long it'll take, or what it'll take, I'm not giving up on it, or you." He nodded at me. "Make your own boundaries, your own rules, and I'm gonna make sure they're met. It's all about you and your comfort, okay?"

I nodded, the smile on my lips stuck. I wasn't sure how long I'd need to combat it, but I'd take his advice and follow up on my own time.

When my eyes raised to his, I was nearly blown back. Luke was watching me over, intensity building within those dark eyes. My own did the same, only further building the link. It was thick, and as sturdy as ever, and all—

Luke cleared his throat, averting his attention, elsewhere. "It's getting late," he rushed out a little too quickly. "Ready for bed?"

I scowled. "You make it sound like we're a married couple."

Luke scoffed. "You're going to make me sick if you say that shit, again."

Chuckling, I paused when at the sight of the bags lying under the bruised skin of his eyes. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

He'd tried to come in my room for my nightmares, but I didn't let him. I'd thought it was more torturous to me, but now, I wasn't too confident in that assumption.

He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Not at all."

I chuckled, straightening my back up from the headboard. "Why not?"

"It might have been because I didn't have a certain smartass of mine telling me terrible jokes to keep me awake, and I felt like a piece of shit for being the reason behind it." He sent a sheepish smile my way. "And, it could have, sort of, kind of, been because I missed the fuck out of her, too."

For fucks sake. I couldn't take much more of this man, I knew it. I knew it, and I didn't know how to control or conceal it. I didn't know if I could. I knew I couldn't.

The blood was thumping so hard in my ears, I wasn't too sure if I should worry for that, or how tight my chest had gotten. It was all so, too much to just pass off as an obscurity, just as it had been that night in the kitchen.

And, I didn't even think the fear could stop me from reaching out for it. Not this time. Not with the way everything was intensifying the longer I was with him, especially the emotions I had thought were crushed from me.

They were alive. Luke had reached inside so effortlessly, and breathed life back into them. Now, they were making way past the very fear I'd accumulated over the years, the one I thought was still and important. Luke was making me forget that it even existed in the first place.

Through a trembling chest, I inhaled. Just as I went to get out out, Luke was leaning down to move me over to the side of the bed, just as he did every night.

I stopped him before he could. "Let's sleep in your room, tonight. You have the better mattress." I refrained from saying that the scent of him in his bed might be the only remedy to getting me to sleep, right now. Being in his arms was even better, though.

Shock tore through his eyes, but when it disappeared, smugness was left behind. "I know being in my bed is comfortable, but I never expected you to be so obsessed, Norris."

Instead of feeding into his ego, I met it with a middle finger. He trailed behind me as we walked to his bedroom, but before we got there, I turned to the kitchen to discard of my bag of food.

I could feel Luke lingering behind me, earning my chuckle, and, "You could have just went ahead, and got in the bed, you know," I chuckled, throwing my bag into the trash.

Luke shrugged, a smile on as he nodded toward the hallway. I nearly bounced with excitement at the thought of his bedroom, his bed, him being so close.

Once we made it inside, Fang was settled in his doggy bed, blocking us out and resting, again. I chuckled at him before heading straight for the bed.

I nearly made it before something stopped me.

"Uh..." Luke's energy turned tense from behind me. "Norris, how about we—"

I raised a finger to shush him, instead stepping closer to what caught my attention. There was a picture hanging on the wall.

"How in the fuck did I forget this shit?" he hissed under his breath.

Instead of focusing on that, I looked to the picture that wasn't too hard to miss. It was framed, right in the center of the wall. It was more than obvious, actually. Luke didn't have any pictures in his house, none at all.

Except this one.

It was the picture I took of us. I'd sent it to his phone, but I never expected him to actually do anything with it. Especially this.

I jerked around to get a look at him. It looked as if he were trying to mold into the door, his eyes downcast, and skin as red as a tomato.

The simple act was only added to the list of things that were bringing me closer and closer to giving into this temptation. It was much more than that, though. It was like a need to breathe, to feel, to be. Being or doing anything without confronting this feeling first seemed like a waste.

I wasn't sure how long I could last if it kept going. It had long ago topped the list of reasons as to why I shouldn't be wanting this, him. Compared to one another, only one of them was taking the win home. And, only one of them, and only one person, had brought my heart back to life when nothing else in the world managed to even get close.

"Our picture," fell from my lips much softer than intended. "You put it up."

"Yeah..." He shuffled on his feet, skepticism riding along his face. His next words were slow, and careful, "I did."

I took the first step. Then, another.

I didn't stop until I was in front of him. The energy was only beginning to rise until I thought it'd blind me. A part of me was frightened that I was okay with the possibility as long as the cause behind it remained.

I closed my hands around the other in order to stop from touching him. "Why?" I thought it over before adding, "You don't have any other pictures. None at all."

His throat bobbed as he conjured the set of words. "You said that people hang pictures of other people they care about," he admitted, his voice dipping. "And...you're the first person that I really, really fucking care about. That I care about the most, honestly. So, you're the first picture, that you know..." his blush deepened until he glanced toward the picture in order to avoid my eyes. "It looks creepy, I know—"

I shook my head, immediately. I hadn't found anything other than adoration, and blind feelings in it.

My hand went to his jaw before I thought it over. It was hard, and smooth under my skin. I knew now that there wasn't a thing like it, or him, and I never wanted to detach from either one.

It was starting up, again, if it even left at all. I was swimming in the ocean of emotions, and they were threatening, warning, me of how close they were to dragging me under if I didn't get the truth out. It was so undeniable that it made my heart tremble to even try to reject it any longer.

So, I wasn't going to.

My hand began it's own special routine along the lining his jaw. "It doesn't, not at all." I managed a shaky smile through my nerves. "It's really..." My lips fluttered shut as his gaze seized mine.

I noted every single thing that I could account for in this moment: everything at once.

Everything and all things pertaining to the man in front of me was only furthering my desire. My want. My wish, and plan to push the fear over long enough to take the exact thing that made me forget them.

Luke.

I hoped that I hadn't took the signs wrong. That I wasn't setting myself up for failure by stepping outside of my boundaries long enough to experience the things that had me never wanting to return to them.

No. I couldn't be. Luke's confession the other morning was one that I couldn't pass off as nothing. His actions only helped aid my belief, and damn near plead that I wasn't in this colossally, complex passion alone.

Please don't let me be in this alone.

I couldn't bare it by myself, not anymore. It was too much, too hectic and disarming to even try. If Luke could help me grasp it in the way that only he could, then we could possibly share it, together. That seemed to be the only resolution, the only right answer, to it all.

Luke hadn't moved back. His attention jumped to my lips, and my own followed over to his. So pretty, pink, and plump that it seemed a crime to just leave them untouched. If I ever got a taste of them, I knew for a fact that I'd change that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the scar along his throat jump then fall back into place, then repeat. His jaw had tightened under my hand in a clench. Our eyes clashed all over again, and just that connection along seemed to knock us into action.

Luke was moving so slowly, I nearly missed it. Nearly. With him, and the rip of adrenaline ringing through my bones at him, it was impossible to fully miss anything.

As soon as I caught on, my lips parted under his gaze as if it were routine. Luke craned his neck, one finger balancing under my chin to lift my head to him. He didn't stop until his breath fanned my lips like a sweet, heavy cover with a track of electricity to run me over in the meantime.

We were close. So fucking close. All we needed was to lean in, and—

Luke jerked back. He tore away as if I'd shocked him.

His eyes went wide, bouncing between my own and my lips. His mouth slightly fell agape at me. The shock was evident. I was sure my own mirrored it, despite how ready and bare I'd been a second ago.

He stepped back, causing my hand, and his own to fall. He stumbled, more than anything, far out of my reach, blinking back at me. A shaky breath parted his lips before he turned so quickly, it nearly gave me whiplash.

"I need a drink," was all he mumbled before he rushed out of the room. He left so quickly, he didn't even remember to shut the door behind him.

Then, I was left there. Confused, and shocked. But, most of all...

Disappointed.