Chapter 28

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Terrence

It's difficult to watch a broken heart try to mend itself.

Life's a funny old thing isn't?

Nothing really changes through the generations, we teach our children what we've learnt from our own experiences and then ask them to do the same for theirs.

Advice can be the hardest thing to force yourself to listen to, especially when the receiver of this advice, no longer respects you like they used to.

Occasionally it makes me wonder, why we proceed to complete actions that we know will have consequential repercussion? I still haven't figured that one out yet.

My eyes have witnessed numerous occasions, which sometimes they wish they'd been allowed to have been kept closed.

It would be naive of me; the man that I've grown to become, to try and banish these memories away. They've shaped the person who I've become and I wouldn't change that for anything. I don't think any of us, really would.

Infact, it would probably be irresponsible to admit, that this wonderful materialistic filter, that the magnifying glass we chose to peer through onto our own lives, gives us all a false sense of security.

It might frighten you to consider, but some actions are well out of reach and some situations are inevitable.

It's not as picture perfect as some of the clueless ones amongst us would like to believe.

Even so some chose to continue to be delusional of the prying issues, that dictate other people's lives.

Sometimes the power or fait of a situation is out of our hands. Out of sight, out of mind, maybe you just have to numb the mind? It saddens me to admit.

She was a pretty young thing, I couldn't help but hope that her life would come to something more. She deserved better.

She looked so out of place in this hospital dedicated to treating the mentally inept.

She was a ray of sunshine, amongst a cloud of endless smoke. Fogging my gaze, wherever I turned.

Although she amused my attention, I knew that she was so out of place, amongst this foreign environment her actions had led her to.

She needed to learn her boundaries, if not then, when would she?

He was a bright young spark, who's energy was far too contagious for my liking.

He grew on me like tumour, after a while, I had to except defeat that he wasn't going anywhere.

I wasn't comfortable amongst many, he surprised me, almost everyday. It felt natural this bond I developed for him.

He possessed this calm ambiance, that she needed to soothe her soul. Otherwise she'd drive herself into a state of insanity. She was capable of many things, both irrational and incredible.

As the months passed, I could tell he cared more about this one certain patient, more that I knew could be professional possible. It surprised me both mentally and physically. How could a man not act on his emotions? He held so much self control.

He never broke any rules or oaths, that's how he earnt my respect. I should of noticed sooner, but he was talented at hiding his inner thoughts. Something his children have inherited or maybe learnt, I'm not too sure.

I noticed far too late on in his stage of brewing lust, by that stage he was intoxicated, infatuated, blink drunk in her presence.

Any form of communication that wasn't instructed from her mouth, washed above his state of being.
He was away with the fairies, flying sky high, guided by cupid himself.

They had my blessing, she knew that. He was aware, I trusted him with my life, my word, my everything.

This period of reflection has only made my bond for their offspring that much stronger. They had become faces that I recognised as my own.

What was mine was there's and vise verse. I made that clear, shortly after the twins were born. I was a man of my word, that was never questionable.

They were a young couple, struggling to make ends meat and in need of guidance. It didn't take much persuasion on my behalf.

I feel like an old sod, reminiscing the lives of two individuals, I've been so blessed to have known.

It took the kids a while to acknowledge their newly orphaned state. But, I knew they would cope, they were stronger than this short term loss. They had inherited this confidence from their parents, it held them together in their web of courage. Together they were strong.

They are all at the peak of adolescence and I never stopped reminding them, whenever they dropped by to weep on my shoulder or share their latest ventures.

The first one to contact me was Jacob, the poor lad beat himself up over the loss of his Mother.

He's a strong man now, it takes a lot to see him fall from his self proclaimed success. I pulled him back into himself, he now anchors this family from that point onwards.

Lissy was a different story, as strong as that girl pretended to be. She was fragile, she pained as much, maybe a little more than the others.

She still has so much to learn about relationships, but her creativity has helped her recover her lost self. Now she needs to prove to us all, that she's reliable.

Thomo liked to isolate himself, but luckily for him, his subsequent brother was always by his side.

None of us really every questioned their bond, it was remarkable how two polar opposites to some degree could waste away their days together.

And then the little one. Although not as fragile as her older sister, Char seemed the most broken. Sadly it was probably due to timing.

Some call it chance, I call it destiny. She was suffering inside a box of darkness, I felt obliged to dismantle this box as much as I could.

Until she felt, that she had enough strength to return back to us.

I never doubted that she would make her way back, but I was surprised to still not see that smile grace her face as much as it used to.

She'd lost her mother and her life long lover. There were no questions really to be had, about how she was feeling.

"Although, we may feel oppressed by the recent loss that may have  settled above our heads and left a hole in some of our hearts. It's made me realise how lucky we are to have had and continue to still have these tremendous people in our lives. " I admired the smiling faces that were paying attention to my speech.

"Although a few have been picked off the Rose bush, sooner than we would have liked. I deeply apologise for the pain that has graced our hearts and minds on this day of recollection. " A tear trailed across a few familiar faces.

"But, I want you all to promise me, that through these tough periods of struggle. As difficult as this might appear in context or on a sheet of paper. None of us are alone. We have and also will continue to unite on such occasions and proceed to grow individually in ourselves. It's what is so remarkable about these budding Roses." Terrence spoke with a soft comforting tone.

It had been a year, since her passing and they'd promised to Steph, that every year they would collect together and remind themselves that she had lived an adverntous life.

Although cut short, due to no fault of her own, she'd made their lives that much more bearable.

She was as a rare as a speck of dust colliding with your atoms for the second encounter in this lifetime. She was a spectacular chance that humanity was blessed to have met, even for the briefest of moments.

She'd created this bunch of young adults, prepared to endure the journey that had already been set out for them.

"They will both always be missed, from a heart and from a kiss. It was a pleasure to have known you, we're all looking forward to our next encounter and know that you both will never be forgotten from our minds and souls."

A roar of applause echoed and bounced around the acoustics of the pavilion, followed by bantering conversation refuelling the vibrant atmosphere. Although the prospects of a dismal day, seemed to have evaporated after such a heart clenching speech.

The Heath always looked so beautiful in spring. The blossom was daintily places across the trees and birds chirped happily going about their days. To an outsider, it could appear that everyone was celebrating a wedding engagement, rather than mourning the death of a loved one.

Terrence caught himself grinning at the photos displayed around the room, exposing her loving nature. It was difficult for him to hide his grin, as he was reminded of the deal he had made with their mother, all those years ago.

"Steph, I know you hate it here, you know you hate it here. There's only one difference between me and you, I have the ability to keep you here or set your free. " Terrence paused for a moment of thought.

"What's it gonna be this time? Can I really trust that you'll keep yourself out of mischief ?" A stern look dawned across his face.

"Guard, you can't keep me cooped up, inside this building for the rest of my life. I might be different to the other patients in here, but trust me when I say that I've learnt my lesson." She seemed sure of herself, although she usually did.

"I'm sorry for disobeying your trust. Going against your word and doing all the things you told me would get me back here." She looked so genuine as she spoke these words.

Terrence couldn't help but hope she was telling the truth.

"Well it might have something to do with your new Doctor, but I think I'm made my point."

"You've got a hell of a way of making a point, but I guess there ain't no rest for the wicked." She didn't appear spiteful or annoyed by his decision, surprisingly to his eyes. She was grateful.

She's learnt the hard way, but who said that the worthwhile things in life were going to be easy.

Terrence never forgot that look that confirmed his wise decisions, in trusting her again.

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―Most of the problems in life are because: We misunderstand people's intentions, We don't listen and jump to conclusions, Then we are too proud to apologise and too stubborn to forgive.―
―  Mouloud Benzadi  ―