It was supposed to be a party. Just a party. A fun way to ring in the New Year with a few friends. That's all.

So how did things end up like this?

It was kind of a "two-in-one" celebration really. Crystal and I had just moved into our new apartment about a week ago. So we thought of it as kind of a delayed housewarming party too.

She was so excited for everybody to see the place. She spent the entire morning running around, getting it ready. Cooking up snacks, putting up decorations, shoving the boxes we still hadn't unpacked into closets. She barely let me help with anything. Every time I tried she'd gently shoo me away and takeover whatever I'd been doing.

"Val, stop. I got it," she insisted. "You just rest up today. You've been killing yourself at work all week."

She was kind of right. I had been working extra hours this week. I had to. Moving to this place had eaten up all of our savings. I really needed the extra cash if we wanted to eat anything more than Ramen noodles in the coming year.

But it was all worth it. Because I was finally living with Crystal.

My mom was your classic bible-thumper. Church on Sundays, holier-than-thou attitude, burn the gays, and all that bullshit. No explanation needed that I already wasn't very close with her, but I still needed to stay on her good side if I wanted to stay in the house. Crystal's family already thought I was trash. If they found out I was homeless too? I never would've seen her again.

In all honesty, I don't think the whole "lesbian" thing itself really bothered her parents. After all, gays could still earn money, right?

That's what they really hated about me. I wasn't rich like they were. My mom made minimum wage on a good month, and although my job didn't exactly pay bad, it still wasn't enough. At least, not good enough to be worthy of their precious baby girl.

They tolerated me to appease her, but were never shy to make it known that my presence was unwelcome in their little world. Whether it was her mother's passive-aggressive comments or her father's cold silence, their disdain was clearly communicated.

But Crystal wasn't like that. Try as they might to primp and groom her into their perfect little elite, she never really fit into that mold. Her heart was too big to ever fit into something so narrow-minded.

From the first day I met her, she'd shown me nothing but warmth and kindness. Even when she found out I was gay. Although, at the time, I don't think she ever once imagined she'd be the one dating me.

Which is why it was probably a good thing that her parents never really gave me the time of day. I think it made it easier to hide the truth from them. Gay? No problem. But if they knew she was dating me? They probably would have disowned her.

Crystal wouldn't have cared. I knew she wouldn't have. As long as we have each other, then no one else matters. That's what she would have said. But I didn't want that for her. I wanted our time together to be blissful and filled with happy memories. Not miserable while we starved out on the streets.

So, I worked. Weekends, overtime, holidays. Every second I wasn't with Crystal, I was at the office, furiously grinding away just to earn a little bit more that month. Just to be with her.

And now, I was. I told my "holy mother" that she could go eat a load of holy shit. Of course, she wept and wailed about "what I was doing to her," and "what would the other church members say." But I don't think the actual loss of her daughter was really all that devastating to her.

Crystal's parents. Now that was rough. There was nothing they didn't offer to buy her, no place off limits for her to travel to. If they could have, I think they would have offered her every last star in the sky if she would just stay there with them. And, of course, leave me. 

She wasn't interested.

So there we were, in our week of bliss. Floating around our new apartment like a couple of newlyweds. Sometimes, I would spend hours just watching her. Twirling around the kitchen in her little apron, humming gently while she folded laundry, the way she had to stand on her tiptoes when putting things on the top shelf. All of it. I felt like I could have watched her forever. And today was no different.

Of course, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt just sitting on the couch while she did everything, but what else could I do? If she was going to force me to sit here all day, then I might as well have fun with it.

"I don't know how you do it, Babe," I murmured, leaning over the back of the couch to look at her.

"Do what?" She asked, barely looking up from the cake she was currently decorating.

"Manage to fill out that dress so perfectly," I teased, giving her a wink.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, choosing to ignore my comment completely. It was everything I'd ever wanted and more. Stupid, simple, domestic. A moment that meant everything because it meant nothing. As I watched her, I dreamed about how many more of those little moments we would share together in this apartment.

And I was sure tonight was going to be one of them. New year's eve. All of our friends together. Laughing, drinking, celebrating. And a kiss. A kiss without fear, a kiss without secrets. A kiss with the woman I loved as we started our new life together. I just couldn't wait.

I didn't have to either. By the time the clock hit nine, the party was already in full swing. We didn't invite too many people, just a handful of friends, but we partied like we were the only people in the world that night.

Maybe that's why it happened. I was too happy. Too careless. Because if I'd looked at Crystal tonight even half as much as I usually did, I would have realized just how much she'd been drinking.

It wasn't that I didn't see her, it was more like I didn't give too much thought to what she was doing. It's a party. Let her have some fun! That's what I was thinking. 

After all, it's not like I wasn't doing the exact same thing. Downing drink after drink until the world around me became nothing but a warm, happy haze. How could I tell her she couldn't do the same? Besides, my mind was already busy with thoughts of tomorrow. And the start of a new year with Crystal. Hangover and all.

"Hey, guys! The countdown's starting soon!" Someone shouted through haze.

The next thing I saw was Crystal stumbling her way over to me with a drunken smile on her face. She grabbed my arm, tugging me towards the window.

"Babe, Babe, come on! Let's go to the balcony. We have a view all the way to the park. I bet we could probably see the fireworks display from here! Let's go watch," she insisted, pulling me towards the sliding door.

I grunted in protest as the cold air whipped across my skin from outside. And I wasn't the only one. A chorus of displeasure came from everyone who was standing nearby.

"Jesus, close the door! It's freezing," someone hissed.

"Yeah, yeah. Calm your tits. We'll close it."

Crystal's voice slurred slightly as she spoke. Her entire body swayed as she waved off whoever she'd been talking to. For a moment, reason came to my drunken brain and I thought about asking her to stay inside to watch the fireworks. 

But then she smiled at me. And, just like always, that smile intoxicated me more than any alcohol ever could. I forgot what I was going to say in an instant and let her pull me outside.

She hissed slightly and rubbed her hands together in the cold, but kept a smile on her face. She hooked her arm with mine and nuzzled up against me.

"It should be there, I think," she said, pointing somewhere in the distance.

I could hear everyone clamoring inside the apartment. I couldn't make out any specific words, but it was clear that they were all crowding around the TV, getting ready to see the ball drop. 

But outside, it was quiet. It was calm. Just me and Crystal. Like we were the only two people in the world. The warmth of her body pressed against mine, the slight red on her cheeks and the tip of her nose from the cold, the comfort of her arm linked with mine. We were here, together, waiting for it. The start of our new life.

And then it started. The countdown.

Ten, nine.

"It's almost time," Crystal said, bouncing up and down excitedly.

Eight, seven.

She turned to look at me.

Six, five.

"I'm so glad we're doing this, Val."

Four, three.

"I love you."

Two, one.

"I love you too," I murmured, squeezing her arm.

"Happy New Year!" Everyone cheered from inside.

I barely heard them though. Instead, I leaned in and pressed my lips against Crystal's. Her nose was freezing, her lips were chapped, and it was perfect. Just like I dreamed it would be.

As I pulled away, she, again, smiled that intoxicating smile at me. Yes, this really was going to be a happy new year.

Suddenly, a bright green light illuminated her face, she turned in the direction of it and gasped. "Val, Val! Look! It's starting!"

Sure enough, the fireworks had begun. The sky lit up with beautiful shades of red, green, and white. The sound of the booms and crackles filled the air around us. I could even hear the soft murmurs of awe from the people inside watching from the windows.

"It's so beautiful," she mused, leaning against the railing.

I wouldn't have known. All I could see at that moment was Crystal. But yes, the view I had was definitely beautiful. Probably even more so than the fireworks.

She stepped up onto the middle bar of the railing suddenly, pointing somewhere into the distance. "Babe, look! Someone's using purple ones!"

I was glad to see her happy, but something was... wrong. I had a bad feeling in my stomach that I couldn't quite shake. I wish I'd acted on it sooner. 

She was drunk. She didn't have the balance she usually did. So it didn't take much.

She leaned forward slightly, just ever so slightly, and her feet slipped out from underneath her. And then she was floating. And then she wasn't anymore.

It was hard to believe that it was only one o'clock now. How everything could be exactly the same and also completely different all at once. There were still lights flashing. Only now they were red and blue. And instead of fireworks booming, my shrieks and wails were the only thing echoing in the air. 

A police officer came over to where I was, still glued to the railing, screaming Crystal's name. He put a blanket over me and tried to calm me down, but all the comfort in the world couldn't reach me now. I was lost.

This year. The plans I'd had. The plans we'd made. They were all gone now. And now, I had absolutely no idea what this new year was going to bring.