Returning to their place in Borneo was a nightmare. Arvilla was heartbroken.
She could still feel his touch, she could still smell his masculine scent on her.

Every time Arvilla shut her eyes to sleep she saw him laying in the hospital bed. Lifeless.

"I don't know how this happened. Just hours ago we made love in that bed." Arvilla looked at the bed from the small chair she was sitting in. She couldn't get herself to sleep in their bed without him.

"How are you gone?"

The next morning Arvilla made those dreaded phone calls.

She also made arrangements to head home immediately after receiving Joe's ashes.

Arvilla spent a week alone in Borneo.

She missed her friends. She needed them so badly at a time like this.

Today Arvilla will be heading home. The entire very very long flight she will think about that moment she walks through that door. Alone.

After years of laughter filling the walls of their home, it would be absolutely silent. Arvilla wasn't ready to hear nothing but silence.

**

"Ma'am, we're here. Ma'am?"

"Huh?" A very groggy Arvilla slowly opens her eyes.

"We're here."

"Oh.."

The taxi driver helped Arvilla bring her and Joe's luggage in, and then he left.

Arvilla looked around and for the first time ever she hated the look, smell, and feel of her house. It made her sick to her stomach.

Arvilla set Joe's ashes down and ran to the bathroom. Sobbing loudly as she emptied her stomach. Which being honest was already pretty empty since she hasn't had an appetite in days.

Arvilla flushed the toilet and balled up on the cold linoleum floor.

"Oh Joe.. Why? Why did you leave me?" She cried out.

After sitting on the cold hard ground for four hours, Arvilla had cried so much, she couldn't possibly shed another tear.

Arvilla looked up and saw Joe's monogrammed bathrobe he got when they were in Europe.

Arvilla sniffled and slowly stood up. She fully undressed herself and put it on. She wanted to feel his robe against in her skin.

Arvilla then placed the robe over her nose and shut her eyes, taking in the smell of her husband.

"I know you'd hate me crying this way, Joe.
You'd want me to throw you a party, wouldn't you?
Well alright. That's exactly what I will do.

We're gonna have a party for you, Joe."