Hey guyyyyys

So I pictured Bec (Sara's old friend) as Ajiona Alexus from from 13 Reasons why (: Not sure who I picture Luke and his jerky buddies to be yet.

Elena would be Michelle Trachtenberg, she's been in Ice Princess and Gossip Girl (:

"Wow," Bec says, her face slightly freezing on my screen.

"I know, so far my experience hasn't been bad or anything but it could have been better." She chuckles and continues to pack her room now, getting ready for Atlanta.

"Well it's only been a few hours, if that. But that Luke guy sounds like a douchebag," She says, lazily throwing her things into a bag.

"He's so rude, don't even get me started. But I did meet some nice guy, Peter."

Bec flashes me a look over the phone. "I'll pick a Luke over a Peter any day," She remarks with a playful grin. I groan. "I'd also take an Alex too," She teases.

"Can we forget about Alex?" I groan, sitting on my bed.

"He's so hot, Sara! How could one forget about those pectorals..those dreamy blue eyes..."

Bec fans herself and laughs at my reaction. "Nothing was ever going to happen with Alex, and I haven't talked to him since the beginning of Senior year."

"So? You said he got into Western University."

"Well yeah, he told me he did early admissions, but he probably also got into like, Harvard or something too. I doubt I'll be seeing him any time soon." Bec rolls her eyes at me.

Alex was pretty popular at our old school. He was super cute, and very kind. I'd always had a crush on him throughout the years I had known him...or known of him -- considering we never really spoke. We'd seen each other at parties and made small talk or did a friendly smile, but sadly nothing ever came from it.

"So are you gonna go to that party?" She asks, her back to her phone. I sigh and fall backwards.

"I don't know ... It's been a while since I've done that and I don't know anyone."

"Well you have to start somewhere," She adds, grabbing the phone from its stable place on her desk and holding it in front of her face.

Sure, in high school I could go to parties and have a good time but that was then, before the incident.

"I have to get going, my brother is being a brat," Bec announces with a distant look in her irritated eyes.

"Alright, give EJ my best, I'll let you know how tonight goes," I say with a falsely hopeful smile. We say our goodbyes and get off FaceTime with one another.

I'm reminded to also give Aunt Leslie a text just to make sure she knows I'm okay.

I look through my neatly organized closet, noticing that it differs vastly from Elena's. I shudder, imagining allowing myself to be so messy. My Aunt thinks that ever since the accident I've started to become more OCD, but I think she's just trying to psychoanalyze me.

I'm starting to really think about this party, and the more uneasy I begin to feel about it. I'm starting to have second thoughts, although Bec is somewhat right. I do have to put myself out there to meet new people, but that doesn't necessarily mean I have to do that in a party setting.

I finally decide that I'm not going to go. I can't go. I just can't.

Elena comes back within an hour or two, alone as well.

"Hey," She greets me, taking in my side of the room that is very clearly decorated differently than hers. My bedspread is teal, with white trim and white pillows, whereas her bed is black and white zebra print with hot pink pillows. My desk is organized to near perfection, a lamp in the corner, a map of the campus in the middle, with a pencil holder and organizer in the opposing corner of the lamp. Meanwhile, Elena has makeup, fake lashes, curling irons and other things piled on top her desk.

She purses her lips but says nothing.

"I don't know about the party tonight, I-I'm not feeling well," I lie. She lifts her brows and frowns.

"Really? What's wrong?" She asks, setting down a bag of "groceries".

I feel guilt pooling in my stomach as I search for more lies.

"I'm just nauseas and I've got this headache," I say, pointing to my head. I'm a terrible liar.

She doesn't seem to buy into what I'm feeding her.

"Okay...well, I'll let you know how it goes?" She says with a gentle smile. I nod, grateful she isn't pushing me further. I grab my laptop from inside my desk, looking over my courses for the semester.

History, Art History, Statistics, and to my dismay ... literature with a section for creative writing. I didn't want that class. It was Aunt Leslie who basically clicked the button for me. She told me that my dad loved creative writing, which I already knew. I think she was testing me, trying to get me feel something for writing again.

Suddenly, as Elena is starting to do her makeup on her bed holding a compact mirror, someone barges in through our door without knocking. The tattoo'd jerk from earlier today walks in, and acts as though I don't exist. I roll my eyes, looking for something to do on my laptop to seem busy.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Elena asks, her mouth wide open as she applies mascara. He only has a flat glare on his face.

"My keys. Eli said you had them and I'd love to know why," He near growls. I glance up at him, noticing how he seems so pissed off over something that doesn't seem like a big deal.

"Chill out, you left them in my car you ass," She says, putting down her mirror and staring at him humorously, but nothing about him looks like he's ready to laugh.

"Don't fucking touch my stuff Elena," He glowers. I'd hate to be at the end of that sour mood.

"Don't get your panties in a damned twist. Here," She gets up, picking grabbing the keys up from the pile building on her desk. She then hurls them at him, which he catches. He must notice me watching, for he finally turns his head to me.

His forest like eyes are unwelcoming, and make me feel like I should turn my head and never look up again. There's something so unfriendly, so bricked up, about those eyes.

"What are you looking at, Sweatpants?" His voice is cold and angry.

"Nothing," I reply, my voice stronger than I thought. He sneers at me, making me feel irritated.

"Thought so."

And with that, he leaves the room, slamming the door. "Never mind Luke. He has a permanent chip on his shoulder," Elena says with a sigh.

Yeah. No kidding.

"Are you sure you don't want to come tonight?" She tries again. I'm torn between wanting to put myself out there, and retreating into the shell I've built myself.

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