lucas,

shocked is an understatement. i always felt small compared to you, not just physically, but mentally. my gut told me you didn't like me and i listened for a little while, until i trained you at the bar and thought things were cool between us. if i knew then what i know now, i would have never agreed to be the one that helped you.

i can't help but to forgive you for what you did.

i understand where you were coming from, but it was a mistake. you had the wrong person. i didn't do anything your brother, luke. i put that on my life.

i didn't even think of you as the one i saw in the photos your brother had shown me when we first got together. the pictures of you two were hanging on his wall in a little collage, as well as ones of mylo and your little sister. unless she's not your sister, but his, since half siblings are a thing. were you two related by your mum or dad? that's a question i'll never get the answer to, but honestly i could care less.

i never expected you to be the one to put fear back into me. sure, i've been anxious and paranoid about things, but the second you held me by my throat against the lockers was when i saw mylo written all over you. it put me in a state where i thought i was fighting him all over again.

mylo has been the only person to make me feel genuine terror — i have been shot, shot at, nearly robbed at knife point, nearly raped, and have had many guns to my head — but your brother had me genuinely terrified, as if that were the only emotion i was allowed to feel.

zayn didn't need to be brought into this mess, but you brought him into it anyways. for you to turn around and use his weakness against him was almost more cruel than you coming after me. he did the right thing by standing up for me when i wasn't around. that's something a best friend should always do.

i knew you weren't just going to leave me with a few bruises then walk away. the fear? that was me coming to the conclusion you were about to take my life without a drop of remorse. just like mylo would have, if he actually had the balls to do it.

i hope you two are burning in hell together. i wish you two nothing but tragedy, even if you are dead. your plug will be pulled tomorrow night. you've been declared brain dead, they're just waiting for ashton to come be there with you when they take you off of life support. it would be foul of me to wish nobody was there for it, but... i kinda do just because you deserve that.

please don't rest in peace. that'd be very hypocritical of you to do.

kindly rot.

- louis