dani: so, i was just minding my business when-

vincent: BULLSHIT

~~~

harlow: so i did a thing-

elizabeth: i don't even know what to say right now

harlow: despite this, she managed to yell at me for half-an-hour

~~~

dani, in a grocery store at the intercom: can Pat MaGroin please come to cash seven? Pat MaGroin to cash seven.

atlas: tHIS IS GOLD-

~~~

dani: vince, we are thinking you have PTSD

vincent: yeah, i have PTSD. professional talent for sucking dick

~~~

dani, after breaking up with atlas: oh, this is atlas' sweater i stole.

vincent: and this brings up feelings?

dani: yes. irritation.

~~~

cole: jesus, why are you so heavy?

noah: cause i'm carrying all this emotional baggage

~~

vincent: i'm cold

jesse: here, take my sweater

dani: i'm cold

conall: what do you want me to do?light you on fire?

~~~

dani: there's only one thing worse than dying

dani: *rips off paper so the words say 'vincent dying'*

noah: *gasps* vincent

dani: nO

~~~

atlas, meeting vincent for the first time: nice to meet you, you are...?

vincent, knowing damn well dani told him everything about him: leaf.

atlas: leaf?

vincent: leaf dani alone.

~~~

mugger: give me all your money or die!

dani: bold of you to assume i have money and a will to live

~~~

dani, texting vincent: does my stomach think all potatoes are mashed?

vincent: it's 3:00 in the morning

~~~

noah: how are you?

dani: i'm fine

noah: what do you mean?

dani: i mean that i'm perfectly content but i wouldn't complain if the sun exploded and killed us all

~~~

dani: look, i'm gonna be frank

noah: can i still be noah?

~~~

dani: what do you call a 100 year- old ant?

vincent: what?

dani: ant-ique

vincent:

dani:

vincent: i can't believe you said that

~~~

dani, teaching vincent how to drive: okay. we're driving down the road. noah and jesse are on the sidewalk but are crossing when they're not supposed to. what do you hit?

vincent: noah. i could never hurt jesse

dani, rubbing her temples: the brakes, vince, you hit the brakes.

~~~

dani's future child: dad, there's a little bitch under my bed.

noah, sighing: why is there a mirror-

~~~

dani: good job on your test today, wes! here, have a beer!

vincent: dani, he's seven.

dani: oh.

dani: here, you're a growing boy- *hands two bottles of beer to wes*

vincent: dani nO

~~~

vincent on a stakeout: don't say a word

jesse: fergalicious

vincent: what did i just say?

jesse: so it's a word now, but not when we were playing scrabble?

~~~

dani: can't you just look at if from my perspective ?

noah:

dani:

noah: *crouches down to look directly in her eyes*

dani: mother fucker-

~~~

dani: i got a birthday gift from my dad!

vincent: really? what is it?

dani: it's really heavy. it must be his disappointment in me.

vincent: dani nO

~~~

atlas: what are your hobbies?

conall: i-uh, i drive my rv.

conall in her head: i throw crumbs at people so pigeons land on them

~~~

noah: i may be a big dumb jock and have literally one braincell but at least i thank bus drivers

~~~

vincent: it's a mental breakdown !

dani: *off-key kazoo*

~~~

jesse: carpenters go to BOARDing school

dani: WOOD you believe that?

vincent: i SAW what you did there

noah: tree

vincent: thank you, noah, for your contribution

~~~

dani: shit, i lost my phone.

jesse: let me call it for you

dani's phone: yOu ArE mY dAd! YoU'rE mY dAd! BoOgIe WoOgIe WoOgIe

~~~

harlow: so, i stabbed this guy and i said "KNIFE TO MEET YOU"

elizabeth:

harlow: get it? nice to meet you? knife to meet you?

elizabeth: just because i didn't laugh, didn't mean i didn't get it

~~~

dani: i want to be in the fbi
*later that day, visiting vincent at work*

vincent: it looks like he drowne-

dani: he tried to drink an entire swimming pool

~~~

dani: vincent, valory is being tested for the gifted student program!

noah: and our youngest think's his toothbrush is haunted

~~~

dani: can you carry this for me?

vincent: i don't know, i can barely handle the weight of my depression

dani: pick up the damn grocery bag

~~~

dani: want to see a butterfly?

vincent: please no-

dani: yEET *throws a stick of butter across the room*

~~~

noah: you remind me of the ocean.

vince: why? because i'm deep and mysterious?

noah: no, because you're full of salt

~~~

noah: i'll throw you out the window-

cole: square-up, bitch, lets go-

noah: but i'd get a fine for littering

cole: little bitch-

~~~

dani: old people always poke me at funerals and say you're next

vincent: you and noah are getting serious, it makes sense

dani: so i started doing it at funerals to them

vincent: oh no-

dani: and i wear rainbow. i put the 'fun' in 'funeral'

~~~

noah: sometimes i use fancy words and i don't know what they mean to sound more photosynthesis

~~~

atlas: i want to do a youtube makeup tutorial on how to have eye makeup like the winter soldier's.

~~~

dani: i'm sick and tired of you acting like you're part of the FBI like vince. i think we need to split up

noah: great idea! we can cover more ground that way!

~~~

atlas: when i die, make sure to keep updating my social media's status to freak out people

dani: sounds good, fam

~~~

dani: i changed my password to 'incorrect' so whenever i forget my password, it says 'your password is incorrect'.

noah: i am inspired

~~~

dani: choke me, daddy

noah: *chokes dani*

dani: you will never be a god

noah: time and place, dani, time and place

~~~

jesse: i have to go, for the greater good

vincent: i am your husband. i'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!

~~~

harlow: i have a licence to kill

elizabeth: where'd you get it?

harlow: i made it myself with glitter glue

~~~

harlow: i love walks in the forest

elizabeth:

harlow: the fact that i'm dragging a dead body shouldn't matter

~~~
let's just excuse the fact that it is mainly vincent x dani and barley any conall oooppps
CaZhasCake