Time continued. The hole she had continued to grow with every day that went by. Every week. Every month. Every year. He came around again. But this time we had a brother and step sisters. To little ol me it was all looking great. She was happy, she was grateful, and she was finally feeling like things were definitely getting better. Time continued and even with all those great times, somehow he still left. And there went the little girl back into her hole. The hole she thought she filled in. 

She was still writing but instead of keeping what she wrote she’d throw it away so no one knew what she felt inside. All her accomplishments, he missed out on those. She only continued to feel more heart. Her heart continued to break. But that little girl was still so sweet. Still loved hard because she never wanted anyone to feel the hurt she felt. If she can make someone feel better, it made her feel good.

 She slowly began to lose the hope she had about having him there. She stopped putting her standards so high for him. She stopped crying so much. But that doesn’t mean the hurt was gone. That hurt only increased. And just because she wasn’t crying anymore didn’t mean she was ok. She was the same broken little girl. The one who wondered where she went wrong as a child for her parent not to want to be around.