So let's backtrack for a second. I know I said I never wanted to think about asshole again, but he's kind of important to what comes next. Asshole does have a name. His name is Rick. Rick and I dated for most of grade eleven, from about halfway through the year until everything blew up with him and backstabber. 

I've known Rick since I started high school. I had a tiny crush on him in grade nine, but then again who didn't I have a crush on in grade nine. Every year we always have a bunch of the same classes, and we were friends long before we ever started dating. I think that's what makes it all feel worse. I really thought he cared about me.

Last year, we started going to more parties and hanging out more, and that's when we got closer. He could always make me laugh, no matter how gloomy I felt. We had a ton in common and he was just easy to be around.

When we started making out at parties on the weekends, we'd pretend everything was normal at school on Monday, like nothing had happened. Most of the time we were tipsy or stoned, so I never really took it seriously. We were just having fun, and I never let it go too far.

It wasn't until one weekend that something shifted. We spent both nights at different bush parties, talking and kissing under a blanket. There was something different about those nights. We weren't even that buzzed, but we kept finding our way back to each other anyway. We cuddled, held hands, people-watched, stared up at the sky.

By Monday, like always, I figured we'd fall back into our normal routine at school. But when he said, "Come on, I'll walk you to class," I thought he was just being sweet. Then he grabbed my hand in the hallway, right in front of everyone.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

My cheeks went rosy and my neck got hot. "Sure. I don't mind."

His friends heckled us while my girls cooed and yelled, "Way to go, Rick!" I turned and gave them all the finger.

From then on, we were inseparable. He walked me to every class he could without being late for his own. He was always around, hanging out with me and Parker or me and Min.

He was wherever I was. Which was cute and all, but also kind of suffocating. I told him that, more than once. He knew it bugged me, but it didn't really stop him. Even when I said I was going out with the girls, he'd somehow find out where we were and show up with Brewster.

I did love him. I just didn't show it the way he did.

He was needy and clingy, and I wanted to keep things the way they were before. We were friends, we had fun, we made out on the weekends. That felt easy.

But once I was officially his girlfriend, everything changed. He was always kissing me; in the halls, in front of teachers, he even kissed me in front of my parents this one time! My dad was horrified! I started to feel guilty for even looking at other guys. Not that I really wanted to, but hot guys are hot guys and you know, they exist everywhere. 

If anything, I always thought I'd be the one who screwed things up. I was just waiting for everything to blow up in my face like it usually does.

Well, it did blow up. Just not in any way I expected.

It was on a weekend I had had it out with Rick. I told him I was tired of him following me around like a lost puppy and that he should go out and have some fun with his friends instead.

So when I found out at school the next Monday morning last June (from a mutual friend of the backstabber's) that she'd seen Rick hooking up with Tammy at a party, I almost laughed in her face.

"Yeah, right. You're so full of shit," I told her, I knew this girl loved to gossip. "Rick would never do anything like that in a million years."

"No, Sadie, it's true. I was the one who walked in on them. He had his pants around his ankles, and she looked a hot mess. I'm only telling you this because I value our friendship."

Bullshit. She probably told me because she thrives on drama and couldn't wait to see my reaction. Well, I sure gave her one.

The first thing I did was take off looking for the backstabbing bitch. Tammy was a friend, and even though we didn't hang out all the time, she'd been around us all year, and not once had she ever mentioned having feelings for Rick.

Her trusty friend must've known as much, because she yelled after me,

"Tammy wasn't in homeroom! I don't think she's here today."

I stopped mid-stride and yelled, "Then she's fucking lucky!" 

I spun around and headed toward Machine Shop, where Rick had second period.

Strangely, I remembered he hadn't come to meet me between classes. And when I realized why he probably hadn't, it only infuriated me more.

I burst through the doors of the Shop, causing a huge ruckus. All the guys, and the one or two girls with enough sense to take Machine Shop, turned around to see who had interrupted them.

"Where's Rick?" I yelled when I didn't spot him. No one answered.

"Where the fuck is Rick?"

"Try the cafeteria," some jock suggested.

I turned and hightailed it to the caf, half his class following me to see what the hell was going on.

I spotted Rick right away, standing in line at the far end. There were about twenty other people on spare in there, hanging out and eating. As I sped over, they all looked up, then noticed my entourage, and started nudging each other, gearing up for whatever drama was about to unfold.

It only fueled my rage.

I walked up to him and shoved him into the side of the counter. He knocked over a stack of salt and pepper baskets with his arm.

"Sadie, what the hell?"

"Is it true?"

"Sadie, what the hell?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true? What are you talking about?"

"Did you and Tammy fuck? Yes or no?"

Rick stood in front of me, his mouth open, searching for words that came too late. I slapped him across the face before he could say anything.

It was obvious it was true. If it wasn't, why wouldn't he just blurt out no? Or no fucking way? Or who the fuck told you that? Or my favourite: are you fucking serious?

He had every chance to deny it.

No. He was trying to find a way to weasel out of the truth.

So I had my answer.

As soon as I turned and started walking out, red just seeping out of my ears, he started up with his excuses.

"No, Sadie, it wasn't like that. It's not what you think."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Sadie, don't do this, please. I love you."

That made me stop and walk back towards him. I tried punching him in the stomach  but he just sort of blocked my fist with his hands, so I grabbed both his arms and then kneed him straight in the nuts. The entire cafeteria erupted in shock.

"Hey!" someone yelled. "Whoa!"

Rick dropped to his knees, folding over as he tried to catch his breath.

And for a second, I just stood there, like I couldn't quite believe what I had done.

I turned and ran as fast as I could. I figured I'd get detention, or worse, suspended for fighting, but no one reported it.

If they did, Rick must've said it wasn't true, because I never got called down to the office.

I spent the next three days at home faking sick anyway. Better than my parents finding out what had happened. 

When I got back to school on Friday, everybody knew. Everyone was on my case about it, calling me "Slugger" or "Butch," trying to give me high-fives in the hallway. I kept my most horrific bitch face on until people finally shut the fuck up about it.

Tammy ran the other way whenever she saw me.

I never really confronted her about it. We just... never talked again.

So now, back to last night where I'm at the bar running for what could've been my life, trying to dodge a crazy girlfriend attack (which I know all about firsthand) and who supposedly decides to come to my rescue?

Oh no. This isn't happening.