The dreaded day was here.
I was sat in a standard therapist waiting room ten minutes before the appointment and all I wanted to do was run out.

The photos of Ethan laughing on his date with this woman was replaying in my head. Even knowing the facts, the way he'd looked made my insides shudder.

The door opened and Ethan entered, looking nervous until he saw me.

"Good! You're here!" he said and sat next to me.

"I said I would, " I shrugged.

"Yeah. But I know you don't want to," he mumbled.

I looked at him.

"I want to fix us. Fix me," I replied.

"Good!" he smiled and took my hand.

A door opened and the fan I recognised from the concert and the paparazzi photos looked at us with a smirk. She shook my hand, introducing herself as Tessa.

"Well... most of my clients aren't even looking at each other and here you are holding hands," she chirped and waved for us to follow her into a comfortable room designed to relax people.

"Well... As I told you. We just lost the sat-nav and need a new map," Ethan smiled in some kind of inside joke.

I sat down on a plush sofa feeling the sting of exclusion.

"Izzy. What's on your mind?" Tessa asked.

Damn this woman was intuitive.

"Honestly?" I asked and saw her nod.

"If you're not going to be honest in here, I won't be able to help," she explained.

"Honestly. It feels a bit weird having you as our relationship therapist when you've been on a date with Ethan," I mumbled.

"It wasn't a date!" Ethan huffed.

"It looked like a date," I mumbled.

Tessa looked at me with a small smile.

"It's been a few years, Izzy. But we've met before. And, let me tell you. When I was 13, I wanted to be you!" she said.

I studied her and tried seeing a younger version.

"I went to Valley school with Elsie," she said.

I looked at her, trying to jog my brain.

"I was there trying dresses with Elsie before the Christmas formal. Before Obstruction were famous. Before you two were a couple. But I was also there when we recorded 'Another brick in the wall' at your house. Do you remember? We were playing football while you and Elsie were... well... giggling?" Tessa asked with a nod to Ethan.

My mouth drew up in a smile at the memory at how Oddball's sister and I had spent a whole afternoon bonding over our mutual appreciation of the shape of Ethan's ass.

I looked at her again and saw the 13 year old I once knew.

"Teresa. You were one of the Simonites? The brat who kept giggling and ruining the sound?" I asked.

"That's me. So... yeah. I've been an Obstruction fan since the very start. I have followed you and your music since before you even knew you had fans," she smiled.

"So? A date with Ethan? Fangirl moment?" I asked.

"Not at all... well... I was fangirling a bit, but not like that," she chuckled before looking directly at me.

"So what do you get out of this?" I asked.

"Izzy. Did Ethan tell you why he met me?" she asked.

"Something about your job..." I said uncertainly.

Tessa looked at Ethan who drew a breath.

"Izzy... Ever since I moved out, the fanforum has been divided between the ones that want us to split and the ones that wants us to stay together. The only person in there who said that it was our business and said that regardless of what happened, we'd have to talk it through. Was Tessa," he said witha motion of his hand towards Tessa.

"You followed those discussions?" I asked.

"Yeah. I wanted one of them to just tell me what to do! And then Tessa wrote that she would offer her therapist services if we wanted. So I PM'd her asking if she was serious," he smiled.

I looked at her.

"I'm here as a professional. My inner fangirl wants to tell you you're my ideal couple, but my professional side is here to make you talk about whatever it was that caused the split," she said.

"Ethan moving out caused the split!" I muttered.

"No... it happened way before that," Ethan mumbled next to me.

"You moved out!" I growled.

"Do you resent him for moving out?" Tessa asked.

I just nodded.

"What other choice did I have? You didn't talk to me... or look at me! " he said.

I heard the soreness in his voice and kept my eyes on the floor.

"I let you down," I mumbled.

"How did you let me down? I never blamed you," he said.

"But every time I looked at you, you looked like I was about to explode, or like you were holding back" I muttered.

He was quiet.

"You stopped touching me! And you always looked so sad," I muttered.

"Because I was sad, Izzy!" he said.

I looked at him to see that same sadness I had avoided.

"I couldn't face the disappointment. I failed you," I said.

He shook his head heavily.

"I lost your love Ethan. You went from all-out to nothing in less than half an hour," I mumbled and saw how his face fell.

"Izzy..." He whispered.

"It's okay. I disappointed you. You were allowed to fall apart. I just wish it didn't feel like I'd lost you," I told him.

"How did you disappoint him?" Tessa asked.

I lifted my eyes to her before looking at Ethan.

"You always wanted more children... and now it's too late," I said.

He turned to look at me with tears in his eyes.

"Not enough to lose you!" he stated.

My eyes shut to hold in the tears.

"I'm so sorry!" I whispered.

Ethan's arms were suddenly around me.

"I love you so much," he whispered over and over into my hair.

I choked back a sob and lifted my eyes to look into his. The grey eyes were sad, but there was still that soft look I had feared I'd lost.

"I love you for you. And for the two children we do have," he said.

I tried to avoid my bottom lip trembling but failed as two heavy tears released from my eyes.

"And the one we lost?" I asked.

Tessa looked at us with a curious tilt to the head.

"You lost a child?" she asked, forgetting her professional role for a second.

I nodded.

"Don't blame yourself," Ethan told me.

"Well... who else? " I asked.

"We miscarried.... It wasn't your fault," Ethan said and cupped my face.

"The doctor said high maternal age. And you let go of my hand," I said, hearing my own voice crack.

His arms wound around my body as i broke down into the sobs I had been holding back for over a year.

My face hid into the crook of Ethan's neck while my tears wet his skin. Through my own shudders, I felt his body shiver with mine and I felt his breath in sharp burst into my hair.

***

Short chapter there but I hope it clarified some things.
Did you see it coming?

Teaser: what actually happened a year earlier?