The morning after the photoshoot, I walked into the living room where I drew a deep breath. If today went well, I would be going to sleep with my husband next to me tonight. I quietly lay a framed photo into the top drawer of the dresser. It would only be fair to have Ethan there when I placed it out in the open. Besides, I had trouble looking at it without welling up.
Next I opened the other frame. The one with the backturned picture and turned it to face the glass. I couldn't look at that either, but at least it was turned. With Ethan there, looking at the graytoned picture wouldn't hurt so much.

I returned to the kitchen and got the coffe on just in time. The front door opened and inn strode Simon with a wide smile.

"There she is! My favourite vocalist!" Simon said and gave me a big hug.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"This!" Simon grinned and showed me a photo of Ethan and me on our date. We were stood by his car, so close to kissing it could look like the photographer missed it by a second. Behind us was the Italian bistro we had just been eating at.

"The tabloids are loving it. The fans are cheering and we are deciding on what to release as our comeback single!" Simon laughed.

I went to scroll down but Simon snapped his phone out of my hand.

"So? What do you think? First single?" He asked.

"I'm thinking in the direction of Homebound. I know you didn't want it on the last album because of the country vibe, but it's honest," I shrugged.

"We'll do a vote," he nodded.

"And Oddball said about Sugar&Spice, but I am thinking that might suit the boys better. It's a bit young for us," I said.

"Which leaves Ethan and me...," Simon agreed.

Just then Ethan entered with a fearful look at me.

"Oh. Simon is here. You all right Izzy?" He said.

"About what?" I asked.

"The... pictures?" He asked.

"Yeah. Simon showed me that..." I shrugged but stopped as I saw Simon shake his head vigorously.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," Simon said innocently.

"Nothing what?" I asked again.

"Please don't..." Ethan started and I stopped to look at him carefully.
There was a wide eyed fear there as he slowly shook his head. My suspicion was wide awake. Something was being hidden from me

"She will find out," Oddball said by the door. For once his voice was serious.

"Let me tell you first before you look it up!" Ethan said.

My heart hardened in an instant and I got my phone out faster than ever. As I looked at the headlining news of an entertainment website, my brain blanked out completely.
The headline "Easy Ryder" lit up towards me accompanied by a small version of the photo Simon had shown me, inset into a larger one of Ethan laughing and looking very happy at a different restaurant. At the same table as him, looking equally happy, was an unknown brunette.

I scrolled to see the text revealed that the picture with the other woman was taken on Sunday.
The day after our date.

All the while I was studying the photos, Ethan was talking. I heard him but couldn't bring myself to register a single word.

"What's this?" I asked.

He stopped talking and stared at me.

"Saturday?" I asked.

"Huh?" He replied.

"Was Saturday a final closure?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Is that why you took me on a date?" I asked, my voice starting to quiver.

"Izzy..." he started.

"Is that why you agreed to talk things through today? So you can tell me that you've found someone else?" I hissed.

"She's a therapist!" He said.

"A therapist?!?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's who we have an appointment to see," he shrugged.

"You're dating a relationship therapist? Before even ending things with me?" I asked in a steadily rising voice.

"Good thing the kids are at school," Oddball mumbled.

"Stay. The fuck. Out. Of this!" I snarled towards the drummer.

Oddball's hands shot up in a dismissive sign before he went towards the stairs.

"Izzy," Simon started.

"You too!" I growled, sending him downstairs as well.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked the remaining man in front of me.

"I thought if I spoke with her first, I could figure out if she was right for us," he said.

"Right for us? You realise it sounds like you're planning a threesome, right?" I hissed.

No. No. Not like that!" He muttered.

"Okay. So you take a relationship therapist on a date..." I said, the coldness of my voice evident.

"Not a date. Just dinner," he said firmly.

"Why does this look like a very cozy date?" I nearly screamed holding out my phone and the photographic evidence towards him.

"Because it was a nice dinner!" Ethan replied in a loud voice back at me.

"So a date!" I accused.

"No! A meeting! With our therapist!!!" Ethan huffed, looking frustrated.

And that's when I realised. For all our years together. We had never actually fought. Our disagreements had always been inconsequential and resolved with a kiss. But this time, I felt betrayed, angry and so repulsed by him that I didn't know why I ever loved him in the first place.

"You went on a date. The day after our date. And I'm left here feeling like an idiot. Because I was ready to beg for my life back when your plan was obviously to rip my heart out!" I shouted at him.

"I had to meet her to see if she was serious!" Ethan said again.

"By the look on her face, pretty damned chuffed about snagging a chance with you, yeah," I scowled.

He gritted his teeth obviously holding something back.

"Where did you go after, huh? In the article it says you got into the car together. Seb was at Hale's, Aya was here... Which, I guess, leaves your apartment free to use?" I snarled with hurt venom.

"Do you really think that little of me Izzy? I drove her home. To her husband!" Ethan shouted back at me, finally giving in to his anger.

"So she's married too. How convenient!" I laughed without humour.

"She's a married relationship therapist who was going to help us, Izzy. You and me!" He yelled.

"Fat lot of help this was!" I shouted back.

My heart was thundering and my eyes were burning with the bitter tears I was holding back. All my sadness from the last year. The feeling of grief the day he'd moved out. The dread of telling the kids we were no longer going to be a family. And the gaping hole in my heart that had just started ckosing up.
Suddenly everything washed over me and I had to close my eyes to hold my body upright through the storm.

"Izzy. We haven't been talking. For a year you have shut me out. We need help! And I think she might be able to do that," Ethan said a lot softer.

"So it's my fault? I'm to blame for you leaving? Its up to me to keep us going?" I asked and heard my own lack of logic. I didn't care though. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed.

"I was trying to find a solution," he said while running his hand through his hair.

"You took a therapist on a date. The day after you took me on a date. And you never even mentioned it to me?" I asked, tears finally filling my eyes.

"Izzy," he said softly.

"I thought today was going to pan out different," I said, feeling the muscles in my chin tighten.

"It wasn't a date, Izzy," he insisted.

"Then what the hell was it?" I shouted again.

"She gave me advice," he muttered.

"Advice? To wait for me to say the magic word Divorce, so that you and her could ride into the sunset on a unicorn?" I snarled.

"To talk things through. Izzy!" He huffed.

"Yeah. That's really working..." I grumbled.

"If you could only hear me out...." he tried.

"Right?" I asked.

"And not overreact...." he said.

"Am I overreacting? Really Ethan? Cos there are at least ten photos here. Of my husband holding hands, laughing and flirting with someone. Someone who is not his wife. Someone who is not me!" I screamed back at him, unable to control my anger and tears anymore.

"Izzy!" Ethan said and I could hear the tears in his voice too.
Suddenly his arms were around me and his face was in my hair.

"You're my everything, Izzy. Please believe me!" He pleaded into me with his voice broken into grating fragments.

"How am I supposed to believe anything you say now?" I sobbed.

"Because I love you!" He murmured.

I pushed him away from me. A bit more roughly than I intended.
I had to get away from him before my heart caved in.

"What now?" He asked.

"I don't know!" I sobbed.

"Will you still fix us with me?" He asked.

I shook my head and heard his shaky breath.

"I can't do this back and forth anymore," I sniffed through the tears.

"So? What? We're over?" He asked carefully.

"I don't fucking know, Ethan! You moved out. And now you're dating someone else. You tell me what that looks like!" I said.

He shook his head, his eyes pale and wide.

"No. Izzy. No!!!" He whispered.

"You can't have both. You can't choose to leave and string me along," I said firmly.

"I wasn't... Izzy, please!" He said.

"I've never been so angry with you before. Never felt so betrayed. I just don't know if I can get past that," I said and turned to go out on the patio.

Before I reached the door he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. His eyes were watery and his face was scrunched in pain.

"Izzy! I can't loose you!" He whispered.

"It seems you might have," I replied and shook him off.

Quickly I went outside, listening for the footsteps going away from the patio doors before I rested my back on the wall. Slowly my body slid down along the wall until I was sat down with my face in my elbows quaking with sobs.
I was in a complete chaos, drawn between knowing how irrational I had just been and the feeling of humiliation and betrayal that I felt every time I thought about the photos. I was angry, sad, hurt and hollow.
After crying out for an unknown time, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. A fresh wave of tears released into Simon's shoulder as he held me without a word. Slowly my eyes dried a bit and my sobs reduced to hiccups.
After a few swallows, I looked up at Simon's unusually serious face.

"Thanks," I said and received another hug.

"You're my girl. I've got you," he smiled.

"Yeah. As if you'd ever choose me over Selma," I teased.

He just shrugged to confirm my statement.

"What do I tell the other two? Do I tell them to leave for today?" Simon asked.

I stood up from my balled up position on the ground and squared my shoulders. Defiantly I wiped my tears and drew a shaky breath.

"We were supposed to decide on what song to release as our comeback single right?" I asked, my voice still hoarse.

Simon nodded doubtfully.

"Izzy. You don't have to... I mean. We can delay the release and the tour," Simon said.

There was a look on his face as if he was waiting for me to combust into flame.

"Look! I'm not going to kill him," I told Simon with a fair amount of sarcasm.

"You're half way there... He's a mess! But I'm more worried about you," Simon said.

"I'll live! If Fleetwood Mac could release their best album in a total chaos, I'm sure I can get through this!" I laughed dryly.

"You know we can do this some other day, right?" Simon said.

"Yeah. Let's just do it," I replied and started walking into the house. Simon followed on my heels.

I drew another steadying breath before walking downstairs into the basement.
Down there Ethan lifted his head from his hands to look at me. The look on his face was a mix of fear, hope and deep remorse.
I waited until Simon was down there with me before looking at each of them in turn.

"Right. We were going to decide on the single. As far as I see it, on the time frame we're working on there is only one song we don't have to rehearse and sort arrangements for," I said, keeping my voice cool.

Ethan was staring at me in surprise.

"Does that mean..?" He started.

"It means you'd best shut up," I replied.
He nodded.

I looked at Simon.

"I think we should record Liquid Silver!" I announced.

"No!" Ethan said at the same time as Odd nodded happily.

"It makes sense. We've done it live enough for the fans to know it. It carries a mythical status," Simon smiled.

"But Izzy...?" Ethan said.

"You regret writing it?" I asked sharply.

He shook his head in denial, but looked downright frightened.

"So own it!" I snarled.

"So... pissed off Izzy is a shove-your-head-down-the-toilet-and-flush kinda vengeful?" Oddball asked with a smirk.

"Don't push it or I'll lock you in the playhouse with Dylan," I replied darkly.

"After she's used the toilet first apparently," Oddball mumbled.

Simon chuckled to my side.

"But Izzy is right! It's a great song and the fans know it," he said.

"Exactly. I'm going upstairs to work on my prints. Let me know when you are ready for the vocal track," I ordered and turned on my heel, stomping upstairs before anyone could object.
The knowledge that Ethan would have to play the one song he had always said was the most honest and personal he had ever written would be enough of a reminder of what he had screwed up. He would have to revisit how he'd felt about me every single day during promo and the tour.
It would hurt me too, but there was no way he was going to win!

***

You totally saw that coming, right?

Please vote and comment to let me know what you thought of the chapter!

I'm telling you though, this was so hard to write!

Teaser: Another memory coming up. What song did Obstruction choose to cover for the first song the kids participated in?