dragonmaster7822
the-pulls
JackStrider
Avarice_King-_-8

so, i just saw our handsome le zragonmastier do this (i know i'm a bit late to the publish Henri, so sorry!) and i figured that i too, might as well do this so here goes.

life's been crap and cruel to me guys...in the past year alone i've moved to another country for personal reasons only to have a verbally abusive relationship with my stepmother(who's now out of my life), a relived nightmare from my past that has led me to suicidal acts numerous times, my eldest dog(who i think of as my best friend and sister) was re-diagnosed with severe cancer and i had to go back to new zealand to say my farewell to her which led to more suicide attempts, after that i became the #1 person to bully at school so i hate it now, on top of that barely three weeks ago my father decided to beat the crap out of me because i left a tap running. i'm in a bad place, a seriously bad place. just got diagnosed with depression(no shīt that that was a surprise) and i'm now taking rescue remedy because of my common panic attacks, especially with exams coming up.

now, in more detail to that brief explanation:
last year, i moved to england because i wanted to reform and build up the bond i lost with my father when i left with my mother, sister, stepfather and dogs to new zealand to start a new life. upon arrival, i came into contact with my dads girlfriend: Lindsay Bradley. i knew straight away what type of woman she was and i was very upfront with her about me feelings. i let her know that i do not appreciate people who attempt to deceive me or my family so straight away i became her top priority of extermination. to defend her though, she has C.P.T.S.D. (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which caused her to consistently be on fight or flight mode and, naturally, it was commonly fight with me. she would scream her head off at me next to every night to the point that i started to cut myself when i was finally alone, she would consistently accuse me of conspiring with my mother to get her out of my dads life, which she was wrong and would usually get all up in my face in the hopes to intimidate me. timeskip a few months later, i finally had the courage to stand up to her and told her exactly how i felt before packing up and forcing my dad to take me to my nans, which he did so. he apologised and all i said to him was that if he was going to stay with that woman, he is never talking to me or my family again. he left her a week later and moved in with me and my nan and that is where we are as of now.

next up, i received news three weeks before my birthday that Leila, my dog, had cancer again and that they wouldn't be able to get it out of her this time. i forced my dad, and my mother, to put every cent and penny of their wages into a plane ticket for me to come over and they did so understandably. after some drawbacks, i was finally over in new zealand and was told that she was going to put down tomorrow, that i only had sixteen hours left with her. so i stayed up all night with her and the next day, lay beside her as she was put down. i didn't cry then, i promised her i wouldn't, that i couldn't. so i never shed a tear for her until I was alone. on the seventeenth of december (my birthday and a week after Leila's death), i arrived back in the uk and was forced to stay up and have cake when all i really wanted to do was go to bed and cry. so i obliged but left early and did exactly what i wished to do.

now, i don't really need to go into detail about the bullying, people just decided to take advantage of my weakened state. though i will let you know that i have attempted to kill myself five times in the past six months and only one of which i had stated publicly on my wattpad account a few months back, even though i later lied by telling everyone that i just said i was killing myself to get away from wattpad when in actual fact i did attempt, and fail like the other times, to kill myself. my father doesn't need explaining much either: he's a alcoholic smoker with a bad temper and i just did the wrong thing at the wrong time though it had led me to trying to kill myself again, and this was three weeks ago. i now am going through serious counselling session as my cuts all over my arms are taking their time to heal and two weeks ago i was officially diagnosed with depression.

thats my life the past year or so, how's yours been? sorry if mine isn't exactly the happiest path in the world but it's mine so theres nothing that can really be sorted about it. i just miss you guys and our pokémon role-play...we should try to do it again sometime if you guys want to....