Iori: Between Nanase-san, Rokuya-san, Nikaido-san, Osaka-san, and Yotsuba-san -- if you had to -- who would you punch?

Mitsuki: No one! They are my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

Iori: Nikaido-san?

Mitsuki: Yeah, but I don't know why.

--

Riku: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Iori: Aren't you forgetting something?

Riku: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Iori's forehead before running out.*

Iori: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

--

Tamaki: What's wrong with you?

Sogo: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

--

Mitsuki: Just be yourself, say something nice.

Iori: Which one? I can't do both.

--

Tamaki: What's your biggest fear.

Riku: Being forgotten.

Tamaki: Damn that's deep.

Tamaki: Mine is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

--

Riku: Nagi, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.

--

Gaku: Am I cool or what?

Tenn: What.

Gaku: I said, am I cool or-

Tenn: Yeah, I heard you.

--

Riku: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Iori: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

--

Riku: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Iori: And you came to me?

--

Mitsuki: Don't change the subject.

Yamato: What's the subject?

Mitsuki: Me.

(Doesn't necessarily fit, but Yamato just tends to be the guy changes the subject sooooooooooo)

--

Riku: Hewwo.

Mitsuki: Hihiiiiii.

Nagi: Greetings, Humans.

Yamato: Heyo motherfuckers.

Nagi: Four kinds of people.

Tamaki: I want pudding.

Nagi: Five kinds of people.

Drunk Sogo: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Tamaki: Six kinds of people.

(Iori just facepalming at a distance)

--

Iori: Aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice.

Riku: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm and everything... uh...

Iori: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I'll take the fall tonight.

--

Anyone in IDOLiSH7: I've been feeling kind of sluggish lately.

Riku: I like slugs.

--

Nagi, stroking Mitsuki's head: You're so tiny and adorable.

Mitsuki, half asleep: I could kick your ass right now.

Nagi, looking at Mitsuki with heart eyes: I know.

--

Tamaki: Why don't you and I have a special dinner?

Sogo: I'll cook.

Tamaki: Haven't I suffered enough?

--

Tsumugi: You need a hobby.

Iori: I have a hobby.

Tsumugi: Staring at Riku-san's face isn't a hobby.

Iori: You're right. It's a profession and I excel at my job.

--

Tamaki: I'm not jealous. I just get this weird burning feeling when I think about Sou-chan being with somebody else.

Yamato: That's jealousy.

--

Iori: [to Riku] Your smile? It makes my day.

Nagi: [to Mitsuki] Your happiness? I live for that.

Yamato: Hotel? Trivago.

--

Iori: You're on speaker. Behave.

Riku, over the phone: Or what? You'll spank me?

Iori:

(i am not sorry)

--

Tamaki: I'm cold.

Sogo: Here, have my jacket.

Riku: I'm cold too.

Iori: What? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn't listen and now [piling scarves on Riku] now look, I've got to make sure you don't FREEZE to death and [taking somebody else's hat] how long have you been cold you should've said something sooner.

--

Iori: I have high standards.

Riku: [smiles]

Iori: Oh no, he's meeting all of my standards.

--

Yamato: Just tell them "you're beautiful".

Nagi: Good idea, thanks.

[a few minutes later]

Nagi: I'm beautiful.

Mitsuki: ...I knew that already

--

Iori, has trouble expressing feelings: Hey don't worry, you're valid to me.

Riku, knows Iori has trouble expressing feelings: I love you too.

--

Iori: I had a nightmare that you left me.

Riku: That's ridiculous. You know I have no sense of direction.

--

Iori: Hey shhhhh, do you hear that?

Riku: ... No.

Iori: Exactly. Please keep talking. I love listening to your voice.

--

Tamaki: Guys, it's time!

Sogo: *raising a knife excitedly* It is?

Tamaki: *lowering the knife down* No, Sou-chan. We talked about this.

--

Iori: I love the way cute people smile, it makes my heart warm like what Nanase-san does.

Riku: *smiling* Stop attacking me like this.

Iori: And stop attacking me like that.

--

Iori: I can't find anyone as annoying as Nanase-san.

Tsumugi: What? Why?

Iori: Just look at them.

Riku: *breathes*

Iori: *sheds a tear* His wonder is just too pure for this world.

--

Iori & Riku: [arguing, again]

Yamato: You're arguing just for the sake of arguing.

Iori & Riku, in unison: No we're not!

Yamato: Yes, yes you are.

--

Riku: I'm going to get soup.

Iori: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Riku, leaving the room: Pff. I'm not going to burn myself.

[30 seconds later]

Riku, entering the room: I burned myself.

--

Iori: I just decided I don't like you.

Tenn: I just decided I don't care.

--

Mitsuki: [gets mad and starts yelling]

Yamato: I didn't know so much rage could fit in such a small creature.

--

Iori: You gave my brother a flying suit?

Nagi: Of course not. Destiny gave it to him. I served more in a delivery man capacity.

--

Tamaki: I hate this!! I hate everything!!

Sogo: *softly* C'mon, Tamaki-kun, please don't be like that...

Tamaki: I'm sorry omg, I love you-

--

Riku: *does something cute*

Iori: *brings phone up to ear* Hello, 911, this person is trying to kill me.

--

Iori: Alright, you need to stop.

Riku: Stop what?

Iori: Stop smashing my heart to pieces when you do that face.

Riku: What face??

Iori: Your face... It's too cute.

--

Iori, sees someone doing something idiotic: Oh God what an idiot

Iori, after realising it's Riku: Oh no that's my idiot.

--

Riku: Iori asked me if I slept well last night and I didn't know whether to say good or okay and I panicked.

Yamato: What did you say?

Riku: Gay

--

Mitsuki, to Riku: *gets on one knee* Will you become my brother-in-law?

Riku: What?

Iori: Did you... Did you just propose to Nanase-san for me?

Mitsuki: Well, you were taking too long.

--

Iori: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Riku: Okay, but in my defense, Tamaki bet me 500 yen that I couldn't drink all of that shampoo.

Iori: That's not what I wanted to...

Riku: ...

Iori: You drank SHAMPOO?!

—

Riku: I can't believe how low I've gotten. I'm drinking my problems away.

Iori: You're drinking chocolate milk.

—

Mitsuki: Do you know what I've realized?

Iori: That some thoughts are better left unexpressed?

Mitsuki: Nice try.

Also

Nagi: Do you know what I've realized?

Yamato: That some thoughts are better left unexpressed?

Nagi: Nice try.

—

Mitsuki: It takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Tamaki: Once my father forgot me in a parking lot.

—

Tenn: Why did you just take off your shirt?

Ryuu: My contract says I have to every ten minutes of screen-time.

—

[At a party]

Tamaki: How much longer?

Sogo: We've only been here twenty minutes!

Tamaki: Twenty-THREE!

—

Riku: It gets too hot in there after a while. The air gets all squishy.

Iori: It's called humidity, Nanase-san.

Riku: I haven't slept in almost two days. It's squishy.

—

Riku: What's a baby worm called?

Iori: They're just called worms.

Riku: I'm calling them squiggles.

—

Iori: I'm going to get coffee. Anybody want anything?

Mitsuki: I'll have a Latte.

Nagi: I'll have a blueberry muffin with decaf.

Yamato: I'll have a bagel with a little...

Iori: You know I was just being polite.

—

Mitsuki: There's a question I want to ask you. About your past.

Yamato: Excellent. You wait here, I'll go to my room, shut the door. As soon as you're absolutely certain I can't hear you, ask away.

—

Tamaki: I'm so sorry.

Sogo: That's okay. You were standing up for me, and I'm glad you said something.

Tamaki: So, should I go back and apologize to your dad?

Sogo: Oh hell no! We're sneaking out the back.

Tamaki: Oh thank God. He is terrifying.

—

Riku: Iori, you need to have fun. Do something relaxing.

Iori: NEVER!

—

Riku: What if ducks threw bread back at you?

Tamaki: You'd have to duck.

Iori: I hate you both.

—

Mitsuki: I'm sorry to tell you this but you have a heart, and capacity to feel.

Iori: You take that back.

—

Iori: At any time, did you consider that what you were doing was stupid?

Riku: ...

Riku: ...No.

—

Tamaki: What the hell's up with Iorin? He's been lying on the ground for, like, fifteen minutes.

Mitsuki: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Tamaki: Why?

Mitsuki: Riku just giggled.

—

Tamaki: [Ordering a cake by phone].

Baker (maybe Izumi mom?): And what would you like your cake to say?

Tamaki: Nagicchi, do we want a talking cake?

—

Gaku: What's for lunch?

Tenn: Food, generally.

Gaku: No, I mean what are you having?

Tenn: An unwanted conversation.

—

Sogo: It's called cauliflower, not a ghost broccoli.

Tamaki: I know what I saw.

—

Riku: Always stay positive!

Riku: [Falls down a flight of stairs]

Riku: Wow, I got down those stairs so fast!

—

Yamato: I'm sorry, maybe you'd like a chocolate... notice that I haven't eaten any of the chocolates.

Tamaki: That box had two levels. You know it and I know it.

—

Iori: [Sarcastically] Oooh, have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Nanase-san?

Riku: No.

Tsumugi: You told me he was cute.

Iori: No I didn't!

Tsumugi: Oh, I remember 'cause you said not to say anything in front of Riku-san.

—

Riku: I don't want to hurt their feelings!

Iori: Hurt their feel... Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings?

Riku: Yeah. Don't you?

Iori: No! How do you get anything done?

—

Nagi: What does the chef recommend?

Mitsuki: Nagi, this is McDonald's.

—

Sogo: Face it, Tamaki-kun. You get competitive about everything.

Tamaki: I am so not competitive! In fact, I am the most non-competitive! So I win!

—

Okarin: I'll be back. Don't move.

Yuki: No problem, I hate moving.

—

Tamaki: There's no "I" in team, but there is one in "pudding."

Yamato: ... So you're not going to share.

Tamaki: I am not going to share.

—

Riku: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.

Yamato:

Mitsuki:

Yamato: I'm gonna tell him.

Mitsuki: Don't you dare.

—

Riku: I'm cold.

Iori: Here, have my jacket.

Tamaki: I'm cold.

Sogo: Want me to set you on fire?

—

Yamato: I love you.

Gaku: Is that you or the alcohol talking?

Yamato: It's me, talking to the alcohol.

—

Yuki: You wanna know who my best friend is?

Momo: Me!

Yuki: Sleep.

—

Riku: I bet if I was pregnant, you'd be listening to every single word I have to say.

Iori: If you were pregnant, I think we'd all have a lot of questions.

—

Riku: What does "y/n" mean?

Iori: Your name

Riku: Oh ok

Riku: [continues reading] Riku looked into Riku's beautiful eyes...

—

Riku: What are you talking about? Iori doesn't like me...

Tenn: Yes he does.

Yuki: Yes he does.

Yamato: Yes he does.

Mitsuki: Yes he does.

Iori: Yes I do.

—

Tamaki: I SAID I WANTED MCDONALD'S.

Sogo: Yeah, and I bought you McDonald's.

Tamaki: I MEANT A BIG MAC OR SOMETHING. NOT THE ENTIRE COMPANY??

—

Nagi: Love is in the air!

Mitsuki: Yeah, and so is the flu.

—

Iori: Look me in the eyes and stay serious with me for a second.

Riku: *smiling and giggling* Your eyes are so beautiful.

Iori: *forcing themselves to stop smiling* nO!

—

Mitsuki: *curled up in a blanket*

Nagi: Aww look a little blanket burrito!

Mitsuki: HISSSSS

Nagi: Oh, an angry blanket burrito...

--

Tamaki and Sogo grocery shopping

Tamaki: Are we done yet? I'm bored.

Sogo: Yes we're done...

Tamaki: *rejoices*

Sogo: with this half of the shopping list

Tamaki: Why must you be so cruel to me?

--

Toma: So you're telling me you have an old flip phone that you only use to talk to people that annoy you

Minami: Yes, So then when we're done talking I can flip the phone shut and pretend I'm shutting their coffin

Toma: ...Are you ok?

--

Riku: I'm 18, and I JUST realized that you say "Ready or not" during 'Hide and Go Seek' is because the person hiding might not be ready yet...

Iori: ... This! *Points dramatically at Riku* This is why I love you!

--

Yuki: *starts a fucking war*

Momo: *holding a camera* You're doing great sweetie! Love you!

--

Momo: I had a dream that someone yelled at you and I am ready to throw hands

Yuki: It was just a dream-

Momo: Shh, it's okay, who am I punching??

--

Riku, cupping Iori's face in his hands: I appreciate you. You are such an amazing person and I appreciate you so much.

Iori, visibly blushing: P-please stop, my entire family is watching us.

--

Riku: Oh man, I forgot my earbuds for this 4 hour trip. It's a shame that no one is willing to share their music.

Iori, sighing and holding out an earbud: Here.

Riku, cackling and immediately taking the opportunity to lay on Iori's shoulder: My savior

(in the back)

Yamato: Riku has earbuds. I can see them sticking out of his bag.

(except Riku probably genuinely forgot he had them...)

--

Sogo: Want a kiss?

Tamaki, thinking of a Hershey kiss: Oh, sure!

Sogo, leaned in: Uhh why do you have your hand held out?

Tamaki: Huh? Oh... Ohhh shit

--

Nagi: How is the most beautiful person in the room doing?

Mitsuki: I don't know. How are you do-

Momo, from across the room: Yuki is doing great, thank you.

--

Riku: If you were starving, would it be worth it to eat your own leg?

Sogo: You're more likely to die from infection than starvation.

Yamato: Pretty sure you'd bleed out before you starved to death

Iori: Why is your first instinct to eat off your own leg?

Riku: That's a good point-

Iori: THANK YOU.

Riku: You should eat off somebody else's leg!

Iori: NO!