READ THIS!

Okay so let’s clear a few things first because I don’t want to keep repeating myself. Do imagine me doing the bunny-hop though while reading this so I don’t sound like an uber-biatch because it’s not the purpose of this rant! lol

Uno. Few of y’all over reacting kiddies misread my last beginning rant. I meant it as in you won’t care what happens next in THAT specific chapter, not as in the story in itself. I’ve been planning and thinking about the next few chapters for SO long I’d be the dumbest chick if I skipped it! So YES I’m still into that story, YES I will finish it, no stories will ever be left unfinished. Might take time (like years with for instance the Chosen One, lol) but I will finish everything I write. Okay? So no more “oh she just isn’t into that story anymore, sucks we’ll never get an end blah blah blah crap” I never said that so don’t assume. 0_0

Dos. I haven’t uploaded fast enough for your liking for a few reasons. For one thing I’m back to college and the amount of work I have could put a lot of you into a burn out. I have to train for my fracking marathon, I have three expositions to prepare so that means a LOT of sculpting and painting and drawing to do, many many hours to put into it, and I need to call people to finance it, and I have to write letters to a bunch of people and a lot of preparation because yes there’s planning to do when you expose your stuff. I also have my final redacting class so I need to write a whole lot of stuff for that class, and no I can’t put one of my stories because it’s a French class. I also need to plan things because I’m moving next semester, specializing in English Lit in University so that’s a lot of planning and test doing, because yes I have tests to pass for that and I’m moving town, leaving my boys and that’s a lot of whining for finally agreeing to come back on the weekends. But the most “important” thing is I’ve been sick. Really really really sick. Almost puking my guts out, fainting, gut wrenching pain sick. Tingly feeling in my legs and hands sick. Head spinning sick. Can’t breathe sick. Pain in the chest when breathing sick. Crying curled up in a little ball because of pain sick. Chief almost dragging me one his back to the hospital sick. So basically in no condition to write sick.

I know I had said I wouldn’t make you guys wait that long again, but one cannot predict when sickness will hit them again, so if you want to complain to someone complain to my college, my body or my fracking immune system.

On the plus side, if I die È has all my codes and the last chapter of “I Sold..” and few extra chapters are already written so you’ll still get what you want. Happy? 0_0

I’m sure I had other stuff to sort out with you guys but right now I’m on the verge of fainting again, so you’ll excuse my light-headness.

Enjoy.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I walked in the girl’s camp that’s when the freaking out hit me.

I wasn’t freaking out about kissing Blake though, no that was… wow… I had a hard time believing it had actually happened… no I was freaking out because I didn’t know what I was suppose to say. People would ask questions, obviously, girls liked gossips and some must have noticed I never got back to the camp last night. Daphnee was just bound to make inappropriate comments.

With that in mind, what was I supposed to answer? Obviously I knew I hadn’t had sex with Blake, but still I had spent the night and slept in a bunk with him. If people asked what I had done last night, where I was, what was I supposed to answer? I was in bed with Blake? Or was I not suppose to tell people? Blake hadn’t said to keep it between us and obviously all the boys in the camp were aware of what had happened. So now, what was I supposed to say? What explanation was I supposed to give? Should I not give any explanation and fall in the “one of the many girls that had sex with Blake” canon because that’s what people would probably think?

I knew I shouldn’t be freaking out about this, and I shouldn’t be worrying about what people thought, because frankly who cared about what people thought, I had kissed Blake! 

But truth was, it was because by kissing Blake I had officially changed our status whether I liked it or not. Blake had said we weren’t done and it wasn’t just in the “making out” aspect of the whole thing, we still needed to clear things out, talk and give some sort of definition to what we were now. Because as far as I was concerned you didn’t make out the way we did with a friend.

And what was Blake opinion now on the whole thing? Because he had obviously seemed to enjoy the making out part but what about the real aftermath part? What about the whole giving it a definition. Blake had said he only had one serious girlfriend, that I clearly knew nothing about, and I didn’t know what his position was on the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Ugh! Why did I need to over think this? Last time I had over taught about a kiss shared with Blake it had ended up with me freaking out, pretty much running away from him and actually making myself sick over it. Okay I had a Blake at my window at night because of it but still! If I hadn’t thought and just let him do the talking things might actually be different by now. Though I think it was better for things to go the way they had because I was closer to Blake than I was when we had kissed for the first time. I knew more about him, I understood more and yes I believed we were closer.

Oh god, seriously, couldn’t I just mentally shut up for one second?

Let Blake do the thinking for once. What was the worse thing that could happen if I didn’t think things through? Get my heartbroken? I could easily do that by over thinking too. And even if a little voice in my head was telling me that it was exactly what would happen, that anything Blake related would end up in a heartbreak, seriously what the hell was wrong with that little voice, I didn’t like it, not one bit, still, anyway, a part of me, most of me, just knew that I couldn’t hide how I felt about Blake anymore. Every fibre of my being also knew, was sure at one hundred percent that I was in love with him. It wasn’t just falling in love with him. It was the actual thing. And denying it would just be unwise… and seriously? Shut up Lexi!

At least the mental rambling cut me from noticing anyone in the camp as I made my way back to my room. Everyone seemed to be up and doing their things. The clock on the wall in the hall before my room said it was past eleven o’clock so it was kind of a given.

Wow, we had overslept. And I didn’t even feel rested.

I walked fast with my head low, probably not helping my cause on the whole gossiping thing though, and then dropped Blake’s shirt and hoodie on my bunk, okay that was definitely not helping me. If I listened to myself I would go right back to sleep. I was still tired, heck, I was exhausted physically and mentally and the bed bunk was pretty darn inviting. But I still hadn’t had a shower, and I needed to eat and then start packing because we were leaving in the afternoon.

So I grabbed my stuff to go take a shower, hurrying up, so I could hide there for a bit and post-pone the questioning glances that would surely go my way. I knew it was a real self-centered way to see things, thinking that people would bother if I had spent the night with a guy, but truth was it wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It was Blake the interesting factor in the whole scenario.

But I didn’t get past the door because Daph was standing there, leaning on the door frame, her arms crossed over her chest, grinning evilly.

Oh oh…

“So? Did you get some of Blake’s baby gravy in you cock pot?”

My eyes bulged, “Oh my god! What the hell?”

But Daph just shook her head of course, not realizing how fracking wrong what she just said had sounded, “It’s like talking to a two year old,” she pushed herself away from the door frame and leaned her hands on her thighs, like she was bending to talk to a child and said, pronouncing each word separately and way too loudly “Did. You. Have. Sexual. Intercourse. With. Blake. Eaton. If so, was it good, was he big, how long did it t—”

Ya no, she wasn’t finishing that statement or sentence or word or whatever, seriously what kind of friends did I have? I covered her mouth before she could go on and nodded once, “Thank you, that will be all”

The minute I let go of her face though, she just grinned again but didn’t let me get out of the room, blocking my escape. “So you did?”

I glared at her. “No I didn’t!”

Daph snorted. “Then what did you do last night? Stare at him while he slept?”

“We both slept actually, and we clearly did not have sex. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go take a shower”

“Hmm… If I hadn’t already traumatised you I would so say something inappropriate, but because I’m a good friend I’ll refrain myself from speaking and saying you need to take a shower because he got you all wet and bothered.” Again with that scary grin.

I sighed in discouragement, closing my eyes, brushing my hand against the length of my face. “Could you just leave me alone?”

“Where would be the fun in that?”

“You’re a really sucky friend!”

“Shut up! I’m supportive! Did it seem like I was judgmental on what you did last night with your Running-Back Boy? No I wasn’t, I was in fact really open minded about the whole thing, you were not but that’s fine. Now you can’t say that’s not supportive!” she pointed at me sternly.

I snorted this time. “You need to get back to civilisation soon, you’re starting to make less sense then you already didn’t”

“I’ll have to agree on that one.” Daph nodded, moved from the door letting me pass, and smirked. “Have a nice shower,” she said it in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes but didn’t press the matter, there really was no reason.

Damn hippie!

When I was safely hiding in the bathroom, luckily alone, no one else was taking their shower at eleven o’clock or using the toilets, part of me didn’t want to take my shower. I had a hard time admitting this but it felt like when you shake the hand of your idol or something and then go “I’ll never wash my hand again” well, ya, that was pretty much the feeling I was having right now, seriously, I had troubling issues.

Just take your goddamn shower Lexi, I internally groaned.

And anyway faster I was done with this faster I could see Blake again right?

And then the mental rambling continued, as if it had ever stopped.

Would people ask questions and give knowing glances? What would I say to Blake when I would see him again? Would things be awkward because we had time away from each other and he wasn’t shirtless anymore? Oh wait, would he be shirtless? Should I go back to the boys camp or wait for Blake to come here? Could you please stop thinking you crazy lady?

Ugh! Seriously?

When I got back to my bunk, I started to gather my things, to make my bags, trying not to think and just do that simple task but when I got to the taking my sheets and pillow step I thought “Screw this” and snuggled back into it. I hadn’t sleep in my bunk last night and I wouldn’t sleep in it again and the crying baby side of me was already getting nostalgic about it.

Okay, serious issues right now.

Still, I snuggled in my sheets and before I even knew it I was dozing off. I feel into not-so-much-of-a-sleep, waking up, slightly dreaming of something I couldn’t remember the next second, and I had no notion of time.

A hand stroking my hair woke me up. I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet though. I knew who it was, it surprise me that everything in me just instinctively knew whose hand it was. I wanted the moment to last just a little longer, to feel his fingers stroking through my hair. This was all new to me, me and him, if there was such a thing, and I wanted to cherish every second, like the giddy school girl I had become.

And then I opened my eyes to Blake’s almost blue ones, staring intently at me, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

Waking up to find Blake’s face beside me… I could definitely get used to that…

“A bit lazy, aren’t we, Miss Grayson,” he smiled more.

In my head I was singing “Blake is hot! Hot hot hot!”

Keep it together lady…

“What can I say; the bed bunk was calling me.”

Why did my voice have to shake, why did I need to loo like a complete idiot in front of him? Ugh!

“Ah, completely understandable. Alex’s bunk wasn’t that comfortable.”

I don’t know if he realized there were no chances in hell I would be saying anything against Alex’s bed bunk.

Blake brushed one of his hands in my hair, pushing away a strand off my forehead like this was a completely natural gesture. “Did you eat?”

It took me two seconds too many to answer. It gave me chills to have him touch me, even if it was just the lightest touch. Voice, need to find my voice. “Nope”

“Hungry,” he smiled, his hand leaving my hair.

I wanted to whine for him to continue but controlled myself and my stupid hormones.

“A little,” I answered and Blake, still smiling took cookies wrapped in plastic foil out of his hoodie pocket and gave them to me. I smiled at him and when I did saw the dark circles around his eyes. I frowned.  “You look tired.”

“Ya, well I’m still tired” Blake answered and hoist himself up in my bunk.

Was it wrong to think that most of the time I had spent during this trip had been in a bed bunk with Blake? In my mind it wasn’t but I don’t think that if dad asked me what I did during the trip I could tell him that… or maybe I could, if that meant he’d won his bet I’m sure he would high five me or something…

And I was rambling in my head because Blake was making himself comfortable beside me on the bed bunk and we had a lot less space then we had when we had been in Alex’s bunk and it was like every inch of my body could remember how it had felt to kiss Blake and… Breathe Lexi…

But I barely had time to do so and Blake was pulling me in his arms, almost cradling me against his chest. This was all too good to be true, seriously, maybe I was still sleeping maybe all of this had only been a dream… That would fracking suck.

“What are you doing tonight,” he whispered, his lips against my hair, his hand absentmindedly rubbing my back.

My thoughts were as incoherent as ever, especially since I had my cheek resting against his chest and his smell was filling my head and I was crushing the cookies he had given me in my hand, not on purpose but it took all my control to not just attack him again and I shouldn’t be attacking him because there were people getting in and out of the room to take their stuff.

What was the question again? What I was doing tonight?  Was ‘you’ the right answer?

Ugh, shut up Lexi… Stupid stupid hormonal Lexi.

“Nothing planned” I mumbled against his chest. My right hand holding the cookies was under my side, and my left was on his chest too, feeling his fast beating hearth under it.

“Want to come over my place then,” he asked, his finger slowly trailing down from the corner of my jaw by my ear to my chin, “because there’s a few things I want to tell you and I need to give you something.”

My eyes closed of their own accord, my head leaning in his hand.

Blame all the time I had been spending with Blake but I heard a lot of innuendo in that sentence.

“Should I be worried?” I whispered, half smiling.

“Very” Blake whispered back and with his fingers still under my chin, lift it up and pressed his lips softly to mine.

Holy crap, he’s kissing me!

My reaction was immediate and I could feel a thousand butterflies flapping like crazy in my stomach and my nerves coming alive as I gently moved my lips with his.

Don’t attack him Lexi, you’re in public, don’t attack him!

My hand that had been on his chest curled in his hair to bring his face closer while he pulled me more over himself.

But it pretty much stopped there because girls walked in the room and started to complain about our position.

Ugh!

Seriously why did we always have to be interrupted?

Disappointment probably showed in my face because when I reluctantly back away from his lips and opened my eyes, I saw Blake’s amuse expression.

Prick.

“Why don’t we go eat downstairs,” Blake offered, getting out of the bunk.

I guess that was the reasonable way to think but all I really wanted was to just stay snuggled with him in my bed bunk.

For one second, all I wanted was for the trip to be over already and I could go to Blake’s place and he could tell me what he wanted to tell me. For the trip to be over so we could stop being interrupted every two seconds.

Okay hormones call down a bit…

Ugh!

So I got out of my bunk too and followed Blake downstairs.

The minute we reached the middle of the stairs and the guys that were sitting eating or cooking in the kitchen saw us they all started to applauded really loudly, cheering and whistling.

Oh god…

Stacey was washing her dishes, or more like letting the water from the tab fall on it and then shake it and when the guys started to cheer she looked our way and made a face at us, like she’d smell something bad or something. Maybe her nose was too close from her mouth. Hoe.

 Internally I wanted to do a snap of the finger with a little hip movement and say “Take that you skank”. In my mind it was pretty funny.

Either way, she just dropped the plate she had been “rinsing” and left the kitchen.

Na na na na na!

The cheering calmed down a bit, especially after the teacher told the boys to shut up, but when we reached the end of the stairs, Cameron came to stand right in front of us. “So…” he trailed, a huge grin covering his face, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh god!

Really?

Ugh!

We seriously needed to get back to civilisation soon. Some people were obviously in need of entertainment.

“Seriously, how old are you?” I sighed discouraged. Blake wasn’t really helping because he was just chuckling behind me.

I kept myself from slapping him on the stomach just because I knew that if I did I would want to keep my hand there.

Cameron was still grinning. “And if you say ‘Old enough to do your mom’ I will hurt you!” I added, pointing at him sternly.

Those boys were way too predictable sometimes because his face fell a bit.

“Fine,” he said, making a face, “I just hope that now the boy won’t be so grumpy anymore. Now he’s bound to stop being so on edge all the time. He was seriously frustrated s—”

“And we are done, thank you,” Blake cut him, covering Cameron’s face with his palm.

Ha ah!

I stuck my tongue out at him while Blake took my hand in his, after letting go of the stupid twin.

“So? Want me to make you something to eat,” Blake said way too cheerfully with a wicked smile.

“Nah ha! No thanks, I know your cooking reputation,” I laughed.

It was weird walking around the kitchen with Blake and having people around stare at us with smirks. I mean, couldn’t they snap out of it? Weren’t we always together? Just because we had made out in a bunk didn’t make it necessary for them to stare at us like proud AP student parents.

Under the piercing and seriously annoying gaze of the boys still gathered in the kitchen and dinning spot, I made left over spaghetti. Anyway I wasn’t that hungry. Well I wasn’t hungry at all to be honest. I mean I was hungry but after one bite of food it was enough for my system and it felt like if I ate something else I would puke. Like my stomach was already full… Full of butterflies because of Blake.

My feelings for this boy were getting unhealthy!

We ate our dinner at one of the tables in the dinning area. Mark, Catherine, Trevor and Davis were eating with us too.

But the term eating was used loosely. It was more like moving around the food in my plate for me, trying to not jump on Blake. I had my one of my leg sprawled on his lap and he was holding my calf with one hand drawing circles with his thumb. And it was pretty freaking maddening. Again I didn’t know how we had ended up in that position but I wasn’t complaining, at all.

Acting like this… didn’t it mean we were boyfriend/girlfriend already? Because I was assuming that the talking Blake had been saying we’d need to do tonight was to specify this fact but why couldn’t we just do it already? Why couldn’t we just say “Hey wanna be my girlfriend” and wiggling of eyebrows inserted? Why did we have to wait for tonight? What did Blake have to say? Okay I was completely okay with talking together about it when we weren’t surrounded by our entire classmates, but still… did Blake had something bad to tell me? Something like “Oh you know that only girlfriend I had, well in fact it was an only boyfriend. Ya, I went out with Alex we were totally in love, but he moved on”? Ya if that happened I think I would become a nun or something…

But honestly… should I really be worried?

After eating I went back upstairs to really finish packing and Blake went back to his camp to finish packing too.

From what I had got of our conversation at the table, which was really not that much to be honest, I was going to sit in the bus with him whether I liked it or not. It was kind of dumb of him to think I wouldn’t want to though.

I had a hard time packing because I kept dancing around for no reason and people were eying me weirdly.

But who cared? I had kissed Blake today! There was hardly anything that could affect me at this point.

Time wasn’t going fast enough but going fast, way too fast at the same time. As much as I wanted tonight to be there already, I also didn’t want to leave this place.

Confliction confliction.

The feeling was similar as to when I had left the Creek few weeks back. Nostalgia I guess. Like leaving a huge part of yourself back, which was kind of stupid because I knew that what was up next had to be just as awesome if not more awesome so why wasn’t I just shutting up already?

Oh ya, right I had kissed Blake; I was still freaking out about it.

Pitiful, really.

Soon, too soon it was time to leave. We still needed to walk all the way back in the trails, to get to the bus and then drive to school so we couldn’t just hang around, we had to get going.

I gave a long goodbye stare at my bunk and my room before leaving it behind me.

I dropped my bags in the entry at the same place I had picked them up when we had arrived so the guys with the truck could take them to the bus.

When I got outside, it wasn’t raining today, which was a good thing, but the sky was still gray and the air pretty damp. And the leaves and grass was still filled with raindrops so it wasn’t dry weather.

I looked around and spotted Daphnee and Alex. Well actually Alex carrying Daph piggyback style while she slapped his butt.

I shook my head in discouragement and caught up with them.

“So where’s your… never mind” Alex laughed when I reached them and I frowned confused for a sec but then saw Blake walking towards me and tried not to roll my eyes.

“Didn’t feel like walking Daphnee?” Blake asked laughing when he got by our side.

I was glad he hadn’t broken into a sprint like he had when we had arrived.

“No and I officially nominated Alex as my bitch for the next twenty four hours.”

“And it’s not negotiable” Alex added, and Daph nodded in consent.

What weird friends did I have…

Blake laughed, shaking his head like I was, but his gaze slowly went from my Papa Bear and favourite hippie and rested on me, his smile warming my cheeks. And he knew what his stare was doing to me because he was smirking and softly knocked my shoulder with his. I pushed his arm, away, and rolled my eyes, and that just made him smirk more.

All the way back to the bus, we kept chatting and Blake kept smirking at me and teasing me, sort of, and for some reason I had fracking blushing fits.

Seriously why was I blushing? He was just looking at me and barely-touching-me! Could I be any more confusing?

The walk back to the bus was definitely shorter then the one to the camp had been. Or at least time was going much faster. But it probably had something to do with the boy next to me.

The bus was there when we reached our destination, so all we had to do was just bring out happy little camper’s butt in it.

I didn’t even ask when we got in, I headed for a seat and Blake slid beside me. How could things feel natural but make me so giddy at the same time? Really… I was a big contradiction on two legs.

Everyone was a lot quieter then when we had arrived. I guess we were all a bit exhausted, and any kind of car ride at the effect of making me sleepy so I was suddenly hit again with exhaustion.

“So how does this going over to your place tonight thing works,” I asked yawning, while I leaned my head on Blake’s shoulder.

I carefully didn’t use the word coming. It was like I could never use it in a sentence in front of Blake anymore. Stupid boy making me hear innuendo everywhere!

Blake leaned his on top of mine, weaving his slender fingers through my own.

This felt way too natural. I loved it but it scared me at the same time…

“Well, I’m guessing you need to drop your stuff at your house and check in with your dad?” I nodded my head in consent, my face hitching to just nuzzle his neck. It smelled so good there. “Josh is picking me up, so we can drop you at your house first and then I can pick you up later?”

I closed my eyes and tried to smell him more. “Well technically I could just drop my stuff home and you could drive me back with you. No need to go home then come back”

Okay yes I didn’t want to not be with him, what was the big deal, I was pitiful. At least I accepted it.

“Normally yes but I have football practice,” Blake explained, yawning too, his arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

Swoon…

“Oh right, the game tomorrow.” Ya I had completely forgotten about that one…

“Yep. So when practice ends I’ll call you and pick you up. Good?”

I smiled a bit. “Will you shower at school or only once you get home though? Because I might not want to go for a car ride with an after-football-practice-smelling-Blake… And no innuendo allowed” I added when he started to smirk.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try not to stink for you” he laughed.

I tried to hit his side with my elbow but I was snuggled too closely to him to really do any damage. Anyway I didn’t really want to because Blake was brushing his finger through my hair and it kinda made me go all gooey-like.

And just like that I fell asleep again, but in Blake’s arm this time and only woke up when he said “we’re almost there Pumpkin”

What was that? Three time waking up by Blake? This was definitely my lucky day!

I got up and followed him, a little disoriented, holding on to his hand.

When we walked to the back of the bus, to get our bags, which were taken out by the emergency exit door, Daph was standing there, stomping her foot impatiently, almost biting her nails and hissing every two seconds “Imma gonna get that god damn bag or what?”

I didn’t understand right away but then turned my head and saw Blake’s Escalade and Josh leaning on Blake Escalade.

That damn hippie was trying to make a run for it, wasn’t she?

“Daph, why are you in such a hurry. I need to give you something in my bag, why don’t you meet me up at Blake’s car?” I asked, grinning.

He answer was instant, “I swear to god I will choke you with your own hair! Don’t mess with me”

I had to keep myself from roaring with laughter but I definitely rolled my eyes. “Jeez… lighten up Hippie-Dapphie”

She mumbled something back, I have no idea what, Blake was laughing too much beside me, and then her bag finally arrived so she pretty much ripped it out of the guy’s hand and almost sprinted to her car.

“I don’t understand her” I snorted, looking her way.

“Have you ever understood her?”

“On rare occasion”

When we got our bag and walked towards Blake’s car, Josh wasn’t there anymore, but Tyler was standing there. Class was just over for him at this hour after all.

“Hey, you’re riding with us?” I asked him.

“I’m just following the weird dude’s orders.”

“Smart decision” Blake nodded.

“And where’s the weird dude?”

“Over there” Tyler answered, his chin pointing behind me.

And sure thing, Josh was standing, in the middle of the parking lot, right in front of Daph’s car, grinning like some sort of serial killer or something. Daph was in her car and I could distinctly see her glaring at him while he made a phone with his hand and mouthed “call me”

In order to not get run over by her, he moved out of the way and when she drove away I could see a phone number written on her back windshield in big character. Obviously his again.

You could call that perseverance…

“Was that really necessary?” Blake laughed when Josh came back.

“If I’m giving my number to someone it’s got to be used,” Josh stated.

I rolled my eyes at him. “You might want to wait, she’ll come to terms on her own…”

When I said that Josh grinned my way, his freaky grin. “She’s your friend?”

Oh oh…

“Ya…”

He grinned more. “What’s her name?”

I rolled my eyes again. “If she wanted to give you her name she’d give you her name”

I wasn’t going to step in into that relationship. I already had spoken with Daph about Josh. She would do what she wanted and when she would be ready. I shouldn’t be interfering.

Josh quickly discarded me. “Blake?”

Blake was still chuckling. “What she said”

Josh took two twenties out of his wallet and waved them at Tyler “Name?”

“Daphnee Harrison” my brother automatically answered, snapping the money out of his hands.

Tool.

“Thaaank you” Josh said in a sing song voice. “Let’s go now, I don’t have all day Miss Daisy”

We pretty much all rolled our eyes and got in the car.

Though I had kinda missed him. He was definitely entertaining.

But I pretty much swallowed back my words. During all the car drive Josh recited “Neung, song, sarm, si, ha, hok, jed, pad, kao, sib, sib ed, sib yhee, sib sarm, sib si, sib ha…” and on and on and on and he was doing it really really fast and it was seriously annoying. Blake told me it was numbers in Thai, to me it sounded like complete gibberish.

We got home quickly and I felt a little twisting in my chest because I would be away from Blake for the first time in three days and I didn’t want that right away. It was stupid of me, considering I was going to see him tonight but I wasn’t the one doing the decision in the whole chest hurting department.

“Don’t forget to call” I reminded Blake, before walking to my house, pointing at him sternly.

“So melodramatic Pumpkin,” Blake teased, and smiled before nodding in consent.

Stupid football practice…

After taking a deep breath and waving goodbye, I followed Tyler inside, almost painfully aware of Blake’s gaze on my back, but a good painful though, if there was such thing.

Dad was home when we arrived, and he automatically got out of the living room when he heard us get in.

“So kid, how did the trip go?” he asked, smiling.

I had missed dad…

So I started to talk but Tyler cut me “She made out with Blake”

My eyeballs almost dropped out of their sockets.

“What the… I… where the hell did you hear that?” I stuttered.

But the two boys weren’t listening to me and dad was smiling triumphantly, “Pay up kid, I won!”

Tyler shook his head making a face. “Sorry your date expired. So that means I won.”

Were they really arguing over this?

“But you date is still far away. I’m much closer. I win. Go on! Go clean your damn room!”

I guess they were…

“Dream on”

I held up my hands to stop this nonsense. “Wait wait wait wait! Time out! First, you guys will stop betting on my personal life! Second, where the hell did you hear that” I asked glaring at Tyler.

Tyler grinned. “I have contacts.”

My eyes narrowed. “Vanessa through Alex?”

He grinned wider. “My contact is much closer to the source”

“Damn it Tyler,” I groaned.

Damn little brother!

But he stopped listening to me, turning his head and attention to dad. “What are we eating tonight, I’m starving”

I poked him on the chest. “Oh don’t you change the subject Tyler Grayson!”

He kept ignoring me though and talking with our father. “She’s so keyed up. I would have thought making out with Blake would have eased all that tension, wouldn’t you occur?”

“Oh that’s IT!” I groaned and grabbed him around the waist, throwing him on the ground kicking and screaming.

We beat each other up in perfect brotherly and sisterly love, because he was a damn idiot and where the hell had he heard that?

But we kinda both stopped punching on each other when we heard “Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans, way back up in the woods among the evergreens”

“Is dad singing Johnny Be Good?” I asked incredulous, while we were both still on the floor.

“I’m… not… sure…”

I looked at my brother in shock. “Did he get laid?”

“Oh my god ew!” Tyler cringed.

“I heard that!” dad yelled from the kitchen, and started to sing again.

We both instantly got on our feet and pretty much ran into the kitchen “What’s going on dad?” Tyler asked.

He laughed. “Can’t I be happy?”

“Yes but…” I trailed, my face pondering.

“Why,” our father offered.

“Ya why?” Tyler nodded.

Dad smiled. “Because everything will be alright”

That made Tyler snort. “You are aware that you sound like a fortune cookie right now?”

I shook my head. Tyler Grayson, always the one to say the right thing. Sarcasm noted. Stupid little brother.

“Yes, add “in bed” to my sentence” dad rolled his eyes “Can’t a father be happy that his children will be happy. Because that’s all a father really wants”

“Love you dad” I smiled.

“Love you too kid”

“Alright, enough with the Lifetime Channel family moment. What are we eating” Tyler whined and both my father and I laughed.

While dad cooked dinner, Tyler and I sat at the counter and talked about everything and anything, just chatting with dad. It was nice, things definitely felt like they used to be when we were still a complete family, better even. Tyler mentioned how Anna had called to get money, she had gotten fired, typical and then ensued a bunch of jokes on her incompetency as a human being in general which got us a few protest from dad but that never stopped Tyler.

I didn’t want dad to cook me anything because I didn’t know if Blake would want to eat something after practice but there was no discussion about it. Plus six o’clock passed and Blake still hadn’t called.

I was getting worried.

I mean on one hand I was glad to spend time with my family but on the other… why wasn’t he calling?

He finally did at seven thirty after I was done eating and seriously worried.

“Took you long enough” I joked when I answered, trying to keep my tone light.

“I know I’m so sorry” Blake said. His voice sounded off.

“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine… hmm.. would you mind coming tomorrow morning instead?”

Oh oh… I should be worried right?

“No, that’s fine,” though it definitely sadden me a bit, I mean heck I wanted to know what he had to talk to me about, I wanted to know what he had to give me and moreover I wanted for us to finally be able to talk without being interrupted already. But I didn’t say that, I just asked “What’s wrong,” again.

There was something wrong, there had to be something wrong right?

“Nothing, we just have company over and I can’t really… escape from it…” Blake kinda groaned. Okay that was acceptable I guess…

“Again, don’t worry about it. I’m sure dad’s going to be trilled that I’m staying home tonight”

It was the truth but deep down I was thinking It sucks it sucks it sucks

“Just call before so I can open the door for you cause I won’t hear you knock all the way up in my room”

“No problem. You sure you okay though? You sound stress.” He did sound stress.

“Naw I’m fine I’m just pissed with the situation right now.” I could totally see him brushing his palm against his face when he said that “You’ll come tomorrow morning right?”

“Yes” I assured him. I would probably get up earlier to get to him.

“Just call first” he repeated.

“Alright Blake. You know you’re funny when you sound stress. Like a little school girl” I said, trying to light up the mood again, plus it was kind of true.

And maybe I was just worrying for nothing.

“Why thank you very much. What would that make you if I’m a little school girl?” Blake answered, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. Ya that was my Blake.

I laughed. “Oh shut up”

He laughed too. And then said “Sorry again.”

“It’s fine Blake” I sighed.

“Okay… see you tomorrow”

“See you tomorrow… good night”

“Good night Pumpkin”

I kept the phone in my hand against my chest for a minute before I started to do anything.

So tonight I wasn’t going to clarify every fact with Blake about our relation, but I would tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. That was soon right?

So I ended up spending the rest of the evening watching TV with dad in the living room. I knew he was just happy that I was there with him and seeing him genuinely happy, like he had been ever since I had gotten here made me even happier. Dad would be okay.

Dad was okay.

When I finally went upstairs to go sleep, I stopped at Tyler’s door and knocked before going in.

“How are you doing?” I asked him while he paused the game he was playing on his PS3.

“Good, you?” he answered absentmindedly.

I rolled my eyes. “I mean honestly”

Tyler sighed heavily, leaning back in his bed, putting his arms behind his head, resting it on them. “On one hand I’m ecstatic and on the other I’m miserable. Does that sound more honest?”

I sat on the edge of his bed “I wish you could see the bigger picture though”

He raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“You love Vanessa?”

He sighed again. “Yes.”

“Then there’s no reason to mope around. You love her, she obviously loves you. There’s no reason to worry about anything. You have the right to miss her but you’re in love. You don’t have the right to wear the heartbroken mask.”

I let that sink in for a few second. It was the truth in a way. Vanessa and my brother were together, and even though she was far he had to remember that; they were together.

“Anyway, I’ll let you sleep for now.” I told him and got up on my feet “But tomorrow I will get all the answer from you that I want, got it?” I pointed at him sternly. I still needed to know where that little rat learned I had made out with Blake though I had a pretty clear idea.

Tyler chuckled but nodded. “Got it.”

“Night Tyler.”

“Night Lexi.”

When I got in my room, I took my shower and then snuggled in my bed. I had definitely missed it. But it felt like there was something missing, something I couldn’t sleep without and it didn’t take me a while to guess what it was.

I got out of my bed, opened my bags and took Blake’s grey hoodie out. And then I crawled back to bed and snuggled it, slumber hitting me almost instantly.