Alright here it is! Sorry for the long wait! But ya... I'll be working a lot, it's the flower season, I'm needed! lol

Well, little rant before (more like BIG rant but whatever)

So I just love how yall jumped to the "he's dying" conclusion! lol

Not saying he isn't or he won't (cause technically we'll all die, well expect me cause I'm an alien and I regenerate and shit, it's nice really, minus the gooey thing but don't mind my self-rambling)

So ya... I'm all about details guys! And a kick in the face.. doesn't that hurt usually? lol

But hey I could be leading you guys into a wrong track all-together. You never know with me! MOUHAHAHA

Now to all my impatient little fans! I just love how so many of you are pleading for the kiss. Some of you are getting a little too impatient though. But see that thing is I have this theory where I believe that if you can't wait for anything you don't deserve it... and it might have rubbed off a little on my characters! But honestly not everybody just hooks up with the guy they think they like the second they can! I actually know people that it was just freaking obvious that they liked each other but even if they had a shot (this also applies to you È and that 15 minutes on Papa Bear's lap! MOUHAHA) never acted upon it! Why? Fear of rejection is a bitch! ;P And that brings us to another one of my theories ( I have QUITE a lot of those) and that's : fear and desire are irrevocably related. Now I could ramble for a while but I'm going to spare you! lol

But hey! Who's to say this one isn't it? Could totally be it! I mean why would I make you wait longer, that would just be mean of me, and when have I been mean with you guys? ;P MOUHAHAHAHA

Anyway, enjoy this I don't know when I'll upload again and I'd like to upload my other stories first cause I feel kinda cheap so ya... happy reading, sorry if it's short but I'm getting tired and I worked my butt off today! lol

Read, enjoy, comment and vote! :P

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I sat at my desk, my feet taping on the floor, controlling the urge to bite my nails.

"Don't forget to make hand gesture when you say I'm big, you know, about like this" Blake whispered beside me, making a space almost two feet long between his two hands, smirking.

I glared at him.

We were Monday afternoon, last period and were about to finally do the play in front of everyone.

Normally this wouldn't have affected me that much but for some reason I was scared shitless. I mean I was going in front of the class with Blake! Who's to say he wouldn't do something completely idiotic... and I was freaking going to have to say he's big in front of the whole goddamn class!

Okay maybe I was overreacting a bit?

But I was still analyzing and turning everything that had happened on Saturday night, trying to figured out what the hell was wrong with Blake, because there HAD to be something wrong with him right?

He hadn't gone in there just because he had swallowed paint right? He was hiding something. He had to be hiding something. Wasn't Blake always hiding something! That boy was so cryptic sometimes...

So if it wasn't just a "swallowing paint" deal what could it be? Was he REALLY freaking jacking off in the bathroom? Because that would be just wrong on so many levels! And I mean he wouldn't have been doing that right? RIGHT? Okay Blake was sick and deranged sometimes but he wasn't Clark or Shawn... I doubted he had been doing that... I mean could I really trust what Josh said?

So if he hadn't been jacking off than what? There were SO many possibilities! Possibilities I had been thinking about all Sunday long while trying to read my script again. That attempt was pretty much useless though.

Now since I was never observant with Blake I tried to analyze everything. He had pretty much attacked the food and I mean he was slim... well sexy actually but that wasn't the point... the point was maybe he had an eating disorder or something and went to puke in the bathroom or something... But if he had wouldn't he had gone right after eating?

Another possibility, one I didn't enjoy that I had though because of the sort of sniffing thing he had done was maybe he was on drugs. After everything he had gone through in his life I would kinda understand why he would... I was COMPLETELY against it but it WAS a possibility... one I didn't really enjoy...

Well none of those possibilities were good actually!

The worst... the worst had something to do with maybe him being sick or something and I really didn't want to think about that one especially since Blake was all happy and smirking right now.

Wouldn't someone dying be gloomy? Why would Blake be smiling if he was dying?

Blake couldn't be dying, it was as simple as that. If Blake died...

I couldn't even think about it...

"Hey Pumpkin what's wrong?" Blake whispered beside me while the teacher talked more about the trip next week.

And I don't know why I just blurred it out "Are you dying Blake?"

Blake snorted and covered his mouth with his hand, choking a laugh, getting a short narrowing of the eyes from the teacher who still went on with her speech after.

"Is that a no?"

"Where does that come from?" Blake asked, still holding the laugh.

"I don't know, feels like something you could be hiding or something..." I whispered back.

"Well as far as I know I'm not, but thanks for the concern Pumpkin, I'm touched"

"Mister Eaton, Miss Grayson, are we disturbing you?" the teacher asked.

"No M'am, we're all good" Blake smiled, waving his hand.

Dumbass.

But at least he said he wasn't dying... So I could scratch that one off my chart right?

"Well then, why don't you two and Alexander and Daphnee, go on a do your part of the play now?" the teacher said

"Are you actually asking?" Blake smirked.

Idiot!

I restrained myself from punching him.

When I got up from my desk, script in hand that's when I realized the other students had costumes and accessories and stuff.

What the hell?

I grabbed Blake by the sleeve of his gray hoodie that he had pulled back up to his elbow, stopping him.

"What the hell? Why didn't we come with a costume or something? Why didn't you think about that?" I asked him my eyes bulging.

"Aww don't worry, we'll just lose a couple of points no big deal, I was NOT gonna dress up for this, I'm sorry and as long as you're not wearing a French maid uniform I don't need to see you dressed up either" Blake smirked.

This time I punched him

"You asshole!"

"Easy Pooky" Blake whispered and still smirking went to stand in front of the class, Alex and Daph already there.

I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. I have a bad feeling about ALL of this. We're SO gonna fail! Blake is gonna do something stupid! I'm SURE of it!

But then again, I could be wrong. I've been wrong about Blake before...

I mean from the very beginning I had been wrong about him. I had actually thought helping Blake was a bad idea, when okay yes there were a lot of angering moments, but all in all this was all...

Nice...

Much more than nice...

And as I thought about it... this whole deal, helping Blake and all, agreeing to spend time with him... it would have been so simple to just say no. I could have. Easily. Tell him to butt off. Trust is I was usually stubborn and would never have agreed really. I could be a strong head if I wanted to.

But truthfully, I think I accepted it, because I had needed it. I hadn't realized it when I had say yes, but I had agreed because there was something in me, deep within me, that knew, just knew that I needed Blake in my life right now, and as pitiful as selling myself for vinyls to him sounded, it had given my life a new breath.

Before Blake, I was sad, and I wasn't my happy self anymore. And now, well I wasn't exactly like my "Old-Self" because let's admit it, I was becoming obsessive about a certain running-back... but I wasn't sad anymore.

I was obsessing and smiling and stressing and happy and over-thinking... so many different things but anything but sad!

Blake's shove of the elbow brought me back to reality as I realized Daph and Alex's part was done and then it was my turn to come in scene.

"Josefa!" I called.

"Madam?" Daphnee read, faking a British accent.

Did she purposely WANT to make me laugh?

Maybe I should have been worrying about her too...

"Oh! I fear some mishap. Hernani should be here. That must be him. Let him in before he knocks." I read.

This was weird; I didn't particularly liked reading this in front of the class... I mean I was okay with presentations but those words just didn't sound normal coming from me.

And then it was finally Blake's turn to speak. I bet every girl would swoon out loud at his reading.

"Dona Sol! Ah, finally, it's you. The voice that speaks to me is yours. Why does fate place my days so far away from yours? I need you desperately to help me forget all the others." Blake said.

"My lord, your clothes dripping. It must have rained hard." I read back, my jaws tight a little, remembering Blake's little comments and trying really hard not to chuckle.

And I mean, Dona Sol sounded so stupid when you compared it to what Hernani had just said!

"If it did, I didn't notice." Blake smirked, obviously noticing my struggle and finding amusement in it.

Asshole!

I kept on reading my lines, struggling between chuckling, and reddening, because for some reason the stuff he said sometimes made me... not uncomfortable but... I didn't know how to put it into words...

And of course I rushed the "How big you are" part, and he couldn't make me say it ten times so that wasn't so bad...

Well it was bad, but it could have been worse.

And then when Blake had gone through his almost-monologue I read "I will follow"

"The old Duke is rich and prosperous. There is no stain on his father's name. He offers you treasures, titles, happiness." Blake said.

Just like when we had practice, the way Blake read it... there was something about it. It sounded eerily real, like he was actually Hernani. As if he was actually living what he was saying.

"We'll leave tomorrow. Please Hernani. Don't blame me for my audacity. Are you my downfall or my savior? It does not matter, I am your slave. Listen. Go where you will, I will follow. Whether you stay or leave, I am yours. Why? I only wish I knew. I need to see you again and again. I need to have you all the time. When you leave, and the sound of your step disappears into the night, my heart stops. When you leave me, I sense something missing. But, when the footsteps I long for ring in my ears, they remind me that I am alive. My soul lives again."

When I read those words... it felt wrong and right at the same time, wrong that I was reading them in front of an audience, right... right why?

But I mean saying them to Blake, sort of, I mean, why did it feel so real? Because yes when he left me it felt like there was something missing, even though he was just a phone call away most of the time... and "my soul lived again" when I was with him... And I wanted to see him again and again and again...I needed to have him all the time...

God... this was getting bad... REALLY bad...

"Angel..." Blake whispered back, when I finished reading my line... and just like when we had practice, he stared me straight in the eyes when he said it, he wasn't reading, he was telling this too me... and it was almost too much to handle!

Breathe Lexi! FREAKING breathe!!

A play! This is just a freaking play!!

Think about all the idiocies you just said! You said he was big in front of the whole goddamn class!

"At midnight, tomorrow, bring your escort. Knock three times beneath my window. Go. I'll stay brave." I read, not looking into his eyes anymore, because it was really getting too much to bear.

This was just ridiculous! A play! A freaking play! Play, as in, not real!

"Now, do you know who I am? Do you realize..." Blake said his voice sounding like the only thing in the world.

In fact it almost was, the class was completely silent, even the flies had taken the time to stop and stare.

Blake's voice was all I heard, and it almost sounded closer to me, but I ignored it and still, my face bended and my eyes fixed on my text I read the next line, biting my lips to try to get some freaking CONTROL over my overreacting hormones!

I wasn't good with too intense moments!

"My lord, what does it matter? I will follow." I read, and then I raised my head, relieved that my part with Blake was over, that now Alex would come and make Blake scowl and stop staring at me that way to make the play believable, because that was what was happening, he was trying to make the play believable so we could have a good grade, but my body completely frozen when I did.

Blake was, much much closer, too close, too close for a school presentation, much too close, but truthfully, right then, the class disappeared, Alex and Daph who were waiting to read their lines too disappeared, the teacher disappeared, so did the students... everything except Blake, Blake's hand cupping the side of my face, right under my jaw, thumb over my cheek, Blake's face inching closer and closer to mine almost in slow motion but at the same time fast, way too fast.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD!

That was all my mind kept repeating, all my mind was filled with...

"Oh my god's" and Blake's eyes, his grey eyes, almost dark blue right now, and then the sound of my script dropping on the floor, my hands too weak to keep it in them. And I couldn't see anything anymore because my eyes closed as Blake's lips pressed against mine.

Even in all my pitiful daydreams I never could have guessed the way that would feel.

I had always said that I was a believer in spark, and those sparks were a necessary thing in a couple... well right now... this, his lips against mine, it wasn't spark, it was fireworks, lightning, explosions, the whole thing!

Blake hand still cupped the side of my face, as mine reached to his waist to pull him to me, not thinking about anything, just feeling those warm soft lips, those perfect lips pressed against mine, slowly brushing them. I don't know what was more maddening. The fact that I wanted to almost attack him with all the electricity running between our already close bodies or the sweet way he was kissing me right now?

It wasn't some crazy all hormonal lick fighting kiss, even though I sure as hell wouldn't have minded because that was EXACTLY where my mind was going, no it was a nice kiss, a gentle kiss, the kind of kiss I had never expected Blake could or would give me, his lips slowly brushing against mine, just a light pressure, but a light pressure that felt a thousand times better than any kiss I had shared with anyone.

OH MY GOD!!!

I was kissing BLAKE!!!

When the reality REALLY sank in, that's when the teacher spoke.

"That's not in the script Mister Eaton" she said clearing her throat.

My eyes budged open, to see Blake's grey ones, shining, the blue standing out probably because of his dark blue t-shirt under his hoodie and then he backed away, my hands dropping from around his waist and I actually thought I would have fallen on my butt if I hadn't collected myself, gripping the side of the board.

"Sorry, I just thought Hernani deserved some sugar" Blake smirked and then the class started to laugh "Consider that our points for the costumes or something!"

But I wasn't listening to his rant right now, my hand hitched to rise to my lips and touch them, to make sure they were still there, to make sure this had really happened...

My cheek was still warm from his touch...

My mind was COMPLETELY confused.

"Just stick with the script alright?" she asked and I didn't get the answer but then Blake bended and was handing me something...

Oh my script... ya right play...

Can I kiss him again?

Shit!! No NO no!!

Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!!

What had this meant? Did this MEAN something??

Oh god oh god oh god!!

I had wanted to kiss him, I couldn't deny it, I had wanted to kiss him so many times... and now that I had... this wasn't what I had expected...

Usually shouldn't everything feel CLEAR after a freaking kiss!

"No! Since you wish to follow me, woman, you must know what name, what station in life, what soul, what destiny is hidden in Hernani, the shepherd. Do you really want a criminal? Do you want a marked man?" Blake read, looking straight in my eyes as I looked straight into his.

Yes, anything BUT clear...

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Sooo... hadn't expected THAT right? MOUHAHAHAHA

Love me? Hate me? A little bit of both?