I Sold Myself to the Devil... [EXTRA: Lexi&Alex's Break-Up Scene]
Okay, so before you read this... Oh I'm kinda worried about this one.. lol.. Damn you È for not getting on MSN to proofread it!! Anyway.. ya.. that's a little treat for you guys (not sure you can call it that way though..:S) anyway I'm posting it because I think you guys deserve to know why Lexi and Alex broke up, and that way you might understand a few things more clearly! I'm also posting it because I want Lexi to be able to say things a little more up-front about their relation, I mean if you read carefully there a lot of evasivness about when they dated..
So, okay, you have to keep in mind that it happened like more than one year ago from where we're at in I Sold Myself, so of course Lexi had time to cool down and all...
And to all of you who already guessed it, round of applause for you ;P
So anyway, enjoy!! Oh and comment, I'd like to know your reaction! Oh and please don't freak!!
Lexi&Alex's Break-Up Scene
"Alex, we need to talk!" I told him, the second I walked in his room, not bothering to knock, but just walking in like I owned the place.
Alex walked out of his wardrobe, shirtless as always and left me breathless as always.
If only things could be as simple as that. If only I could just be content by staring at his really really hot body...
"Well well aren't you nice looking tonight Kitty?" Alex said with a half smile looking at me up and down.
"Right back at you. I think you have the perfect birthday suit!" I told him half smiling.
"Oww, perfect? Really?" Alex said smiling.
"Alright, I so not came earlier to talk about your nice bod" I said rolling my eyes.
"What for then?" he asked, absentmindedly, going through his closet.
"Alex..." I started to say but then the words got caught up in my throat.
How could I say this, how could I explain this without sounding like a stupid slut?
Alexander turned around and then looked at me frowning.
"What's wrong?" he asked his voice southing.
Okay, so I'm his girlfriend, I should be able to say this, to state this easily I mean...
But the words wouldn't come and then I just kept staring at him, staring at Alexander who was my closest friend beside Vanessa, who I had a crush on for has long as I could remember, Alex who was my boyfriend now, and who was shirtless and so dang hot...
So instead I just did what I wanted to do and walked up to him, grabbed him around the neck and kissed him. I kissed him like there was no tomorrow.
I could feel him frowning against my face, but I didn't care, I just kept kissing him, my fingers tangling in his hair, pressing our bodies together, while tottering back towards his bed.
But deep inside I knew it was useless, I could already feel it, or more like not feel it. But my lips were still more and more demanding, almost fighting with his.
When the back of my knees touched the side of his bed I let myself fall, bringing Alex down with me. He stopped himself from squishing me, putting his hands on both of my sides and then for a tiny second, I actually believed that I might have been wrong, and that I had just been freaking out for no good reason, and that everything was alright and so before this moment stopped, before this sudden change of habit disappeared, I wrapped one of my legs around his waist, as one of my hands ran over his hard and muscular chest, slowly trailing down his stomach.
But then reality came crashing back down.
"Lexi..." Alex mumbled against my ravenous lips "Lexi, stop..." he said as his hand unwrapped my leg from him.
And then I was mad, so I pushed him off hastily.
"SEE!!! This is why we need to talk!!" I yelled furious sitting on the bed.
"Why? Because we not..." Alex sighed, beside me, before rubbing his palms against his face, and then brushing his fingers in his hair.
"Because for some reason, you don't seem to really want me, and all right, I know how slutty that sounds but please! We've been going out for like what? Ten months? I think holding hands and kissing is overdone by now! And I'm not talking about having sex, I mean, just making out! That could erase all my worries, but it's like you don't even want that!!"
"Lexi..."
"And you know what? It's like there's no spark between us! You know like those couples that just can't keep their hands off of each other! We don't have that!! We act exactly like we did before except that sometimes we kiss! That's all!! I mean, if you don't like me, just say it!!" I yelled and then covered my face with my hands.
"Kitty I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you..." Alex whispered and then came to sit closer to me.
"WHY?? Just why? Tell me what's wrong with me? Please! I'd like to understand why you aren't ATTRACTED to me!!" I shrieked, raising my head back up, staring in his eyes and I felt mine starting to tear up.
"Lexi please don't cry... I just... I thought... I thought because I loved you so much I could change..." Alex whispered, his voice strained.
"What do you mean?" I sobbed.
Wow, I'm already crying? How pathetic...
"Please, forgive me Lexi, please... I'm so sorry..." Alex said and then he took me in his arm, hugging me as tightly as he could.
"Alex?"
"I'm the quarterback. I hang out with guys that only think about scoring a new girl every night. And they started to say, started to ask, "Why the hell aren't you going out with any one?" and I knew they were jealous because you were always hanging with me-"
"What?"
"Let me finish... So I didn't know, I wasn't sure... and it was mean but I knew how you cared about me, and you have to understand Lexi, I care about you more than you can possibly imagine. You're like half of me. So when you kissed me at school before getting in your bus, before leaving for your trip to Hawaii that got me thinking. All the while you were gone... I thought, well if I love her so much maybe it's going to be enough, maybe I'm going to change, maybe I can be normal... but then it wasn't... but I just couldn't break your heart Kitty, because I love you so much, but not that way. I can't love you that way... And I couldn't tell you the truth because I know you'll be mad at me, and you'll stop speaking with me, and I'm going to lose my best friend and I just can lose you..."
Oh god...
"What are you saying Alex...?" I breathed but I already knew it...
"I'm saying I'm not attracted to you that way, because I'm just not attracted to girls..." Alex whispered.
And then, I pushed him off and got on my feet.
I started at him wide eyed.
Alex, my best friend since preschool, the boy I had a crush on for as long as I could remember, Alex my BOYFRIEND was gay?
"Please Lexi, that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you!!"
"Oh because going out with me was so much better!! You could have just said the truth!! God Alex!!" I hissed, the tears spilling out of my eyes and I wiped them away furiously with the back of my hand before my hand grabbed the roots of my hair on top of my forehead "And what? Have you been with... someone else?!! Did you cheat on me? What..." I rambled.
"Please Lexi" Alex started to say and got on his feet too "I would never do that to you!"
"Oh but you would still lead me on for TEN months!! Go out with me even though you knew you would just break my heart in the end!?!"
"Don't say that! I never meant to hurt you! Believe me Lexi! Please" Alex pleaded.
"BELIEVE YOU? How can I believe you!! You lied to me all this time!!" I shrieked, still holding my hair away from my face, the tears still spilling.
"Lexi..." Alex breathed and walked towards me, reaching for my hand.
"Don't touch me!!" I yelled, stepping away from him "DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!! I don't want to see you ever again!!" I yelled and then I stormed out of his room, banging the door behind me, while Alex yelled after me, to stay.
Oh my god... how can this be happening, I sobbed while fighting with my purse to get my keys, running to my car.
I stumbled in it, and as I took a last look at Alex's house, I could see him standing in the threshold of the front door, looking at me.
I ignored him, and then looked ahead and drove away.
How could this be happening? How could this be happening...
Oh god, oh god, oh god...
The tears still spilled, on my black metallic dress, making it hard for me to see and drive properly. I couldn't even breathe.
What was I supposed to do now?
What did this even mean??
I parked on the side of the road, clutching the steering wheel, hyperventilating.
How could I have been so dumb? How could I have been so blind? I should have known!!
I punched the seat beside mine and then lean my head back, my loud sobs escaping my lips.
This was just fucking perfect!! My only boyfriend didn't even like girls!! I was so freaking pathetic and unwantable that all I could attracted was a gay guy trying to hide the truth!!
And Alex had lied to me. Alex who I trusted with almost everything, Alex who was my best friend, aside from Vanessa. Alex who knew me almost better than anyone!!
And all these years, I had thought I knew him, but it was all just a fucking lie!!
I punched my steering wheel and cried even louder, gasping for air.
Why is this even happening?
I cried.
And cried.
And cried...
And to think that just hours ago I was getting all dressed up for him, so we could go to that stupid Shawn's birthday party together!
Who would have thought that instead I'd be parked by the side of the road, crying my freaking heart out!!
God...
And then my cell phone rang in my purse. I took it out with shaky hands and looked at the caller ID.
Alex.
I wasn't answering that!
I threw my cell phone on the back seat and held the steering wheel tightly again.
I started the car and then I drove.
Without even realising it, I found myself parked in front of Shawn's house, the party already wild.
I looked at myself in my mirror, wiped my tears away, brushed my hair with my fingers, and then took bloody-red lipstick out of my glove box and put it over my lips.
With one last glance, I stepped out of my car and walked to the house, the music loud, people already going wild.
The second I stepped in, I got my hands on the first bottle of booze I could see; Sour Puss was the grand prize winner, and took a good mouthful, right from the bottle, my expression twisting from the sharp taste.
"Hey Lexi!!" someone yelled and then Connor was in front of me smiling.
"Where's Alex?" he asked frowning.
The tears slowly built up in my eyes.
"We broke up!" I said sharply and then took another gulp.
"Whoa, easy there" Connor said.
"Can't get drunk on Sour Puss!" I told him and then walked towards the dancing crowd, the bottle still in my hand.
Now let's see if there really is something wrong with me...
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