“Bullshit!” I screamed in whispered then punched my pillow so I won’t cause any noise.

I’m knelt and bumped my head in the floor while continuous grabbing it. “Kim Sunoo, you’re really an idiot,” I whispered still crying.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” I heard from Beomgyu so I sit up straight and saw him sitting also.

I brushed my tears, “Nothing,” I denied.

“Dummy,” he reacted then I saw him lending me a handkerchief. “Here, cry as long as you want,” he added in comfort.

“Thank you,” I replied and then gladly take the handkerchief from him although I’m wondering where he got that.

“Did Park Sunghoon and you talked?” he asked not looking and me and he’s leaning in the locker.

I throw my gaze at him, “How did you know it?” I asked him back.

He grabs something from his back and I saw a cellphone in there that made my eyes widen. “I’m here just for formality,” he stated that made me frown.

“Huh?” I reacted confusedly.

“That’s why I know who you are and what you’ve done, also why are you here. You are Park Sunghoon’s sasaeng, right?” he asked then I nods. “Tell me, did the article you made is true?” he interrogated me.

His question made me looked down, “I don’t know,” then I paused. “I don’t know what’s real and not, all I care is money. I become selfish and didn’t even think of him— no, I actually thought of him but I chose to be ignorant,” I explained.

“Why do you need money that much? If you and Sunghoon ended up being together, you can have his money too,” he replied that made me glared at him.

“Do I look like a leech to you? I’m earning money with hard work not with that kind of shit,” I replied then rolled my eyes at him.

He chuckles, “So why? Why do you need money that you need to do that to him?” he asked.

I looked at him seriously while thinking deep. “It’s okay to tell me, Sunoo. We’re both going to go out in here and will never meet again. We’re going to be a total stranger,” he told me.

I sighed, “I need to help a friend and myself so we can enter college. We need a lot of money,” I answered him.

He nods, “So that’s why,” he reacted. “Do you really love him?” he asked me suddenly.

I looked at the small window that’s inside our room and it’s really dark inside. “I don’t know either,” I replied to him.

“You do, it’s just that you choose not to let love hinder what you must do,” he commented.

“Did I? We still both ended up hurting ourselves though. No matter what I choose, the result will still be painful,” I replied.

“Right, because that’s how love works,” he stated.

I stared at him for seconds and finally speak up, “How did you end up in here?” I asked him.

“I almost killed my friend,” he answered looking directly at my eye.

I gulped and unable to speak up that quickly. I pursed my lips and calm myself. “Did I hear it right?” I asked him for clarification.

“No, you heard it right,” he confirmed. “That wasn’t my fault,” he added and looked at the ceiling.

“What happened?” I asked him.

So the day I heard them talking behind my seat, all of those were true? How could they do that to their friend?

“Soobin hyung’s rest house is free that time so we all went there. He deceived me, they lied, all their promises aren’t real at all,” he opened up.

Then I saw a tears escaped from his eyes. “A lot of misunderstandings happened that night, all the dream, hopes and imaginations were burned down,” he paused and looked at me. “All I care is our youngest won’t know why all of this our happening. We’re all trying to protect him at all. All the memories we did, sunk,” he stated and I can really see how hurt he is.

That’s why he doesn’t know if his friend will still welcome him when he goes out. That’s why the lyric of the song stated, “Friends don’t understand me anymore”. Choi Beomgyu’s circle of friends got the most hellish misunderstanding that led them to burning each other’s memories.

“We always imagine things together. Everything doesn’t matter as long as we’re together. We run away together, we fight differences together but things went just really worst and none of us can control it anymore. I’m always dreaming that what if we’re in Magic Island together? Maybe every tomorrow will be wonderful,” he shared his thoughts.

I held his hands, “We’re both having our own problems but I know we can get through this,” I stated then I smiled.

“Sunoo, when we get out in here I hope we will both find the happiness that we deserved. Your love for Sunghoon and the love for my friends, I want that we all received those,” he added and smiled.

“We will,” I agreed.

Then the both of us decided to take rest and when I fixed myself I felt something from my pocket. I quickly reached it and when I took it out, my eyes began to water again.

I’m holding a cassette tape recorder and I read what’s written on the masking tape. It stated in there, “My Sunshine”. Is this song he wrote for me that night? Is this the reason why he bought this cassette before?

Park Sunghoon, why are you making things so complicated? I’m so sorry.

Maybe because of tiredness, I fell asleep without me noticing it. All prisons stayed inside their cells. Beomgyu noticed the cassette I’m holding so he asked me about it.

“Did he give that to you?” he asked me.

“I guess so? I didn’t notice it,” I honestly replied.

“Ahh, I wanna hear what’s inside that,” he added.

I smiled, “Me too,” I agreed.

I heard him sighed, “It’s already December, anytime snow will fall. Are you going to celebrate your holidays with your family?” he asked me.

I nod, “Yeah but in Japan, maybe,” I answered him.

“So you’re planning to get away from him after causing him that pain,” he commented that made me pursed my lips.

“Is it wrong? To run away?” I asked him in my low voice.

“Nope, running away will never be wrong but it’s still better to face your problems and the reality,” he stated and smiled at me.

“You have the point,” I agreed.

“Of course! I’m Choi Beomgyu!” he exclaimed that made me laugh.

“I hope you’re going to celebrate holidays with your friends too,” I stated.

He smiled bitterly, “I’m not sure but I will try my best to be with them until the end,” he assured me with his smile.

We ate dinner together with the others and after that one of the guards told me that I have a visitor. I’m hoping it’s not Sunghoon and I hope it’s Atty. Jeon.

But neither was right.

“What’s with your face? Don’t you like seeing me here?” he asked me then he smirked.

I sighed and take a seat, “Why are you here, Boss Jeon?” I asked him politely.

“What do you think? Of course I’m here to get you out in here,” he answered me.

My brows frown, “Huh? Wait, where’s Ni-ki and Jungwon?” I asked him.

“Ahh, those kids were already in Japan the moment you got caught,” he replied in his casual old voice.

I automatically smiled after hearing that from him. “Is Ni-ki with his mom already?” I asked him again.

“Jungwon already found NI-ki’s mom before the article got posted. You probably don’t know that,” he stated that made me glared at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I growl.

He scratches his nape and started talking, “Well, you really trust Yang Jungwon a lot huh? The thing is, I really suspended him that day because of his unprofessional behavior but I also took the chance to order him around while you’re busy with Sunghoon. I made him look for Ni-ki’s mom and yeah they saw her together with Ni-ki’s other siblings.”

I scoff, “Wait a damn second, are you for real right now?” I asked him and smirk.

Jungwon really did all of those behind my back? Why? For what? I’m not thinking he betrayed me or something, what he did is for good. I just wanna know why?

“Yep I am!” he confirmed. “When they finally found Ni-ki’s mom, he immediately told me that he wants to send Ni-ki back to Japan already so you don’t need to ruin Park Sunghoon’s career but I don’t think I’ll gain with that deal though?” then he smirked.

“You’re really a devil,” I commented while grinning at him.

“Of course HAHAHAH!” he laughs in evil. “But I also didn’t know that Ni-ki will be framed up causing you to be triggered by it and maybe, Jungwon saw a chance to pushed you to releasing something really big because of that,” he added.

So that’s explained why Jungwon acted like that before. He wants me to choose love over work but then he suddenly wants me to pull Sunghoon down for money.

I thought we aren't the same. Then I just realized we're both hungry for money.

I closed my eyes in frustrations while tilting my head sideways then made my lower lip wet by my tongue.

I glared at Boss Jeon and speak, “That’s all?” I asked.

“Kind a?” he answered me and lean on his chair.

“So when I’m going to get out in here?” I asked him. “I need to see Ni-ki and Jungwon right away. I don’t really trust you at all. You even put my name on that article,” I complained.

“Hey brat, I need to protect my writers. All of those are part of my plan. I didn’t let any of the media speaks that you are also under ENB before. And hey, you received money and EN Broadcast placed ranked 1 in general survey. All of that are thanks to you, Sunoo. That’s why I will never let you stay here for long,” he explained.

It made me rolled my eyes and just let out a deep sighed. “I already know that. Now, when I’m going to get out in here?” I asked him again.

He pulled something under his suit and I saw two familiar papers on his hands, “Now. Our flight to Japan will be around midnight,” he replied.

“Our?” I repeated. “You’re coming with me?” I asked him.

“Yep! I have a business meeting in Tokyo that’s why I’m coming with you. You don’t want that? You can buy your own ticket then,” he stated and stood up that made me followed him.

“Fine! I’m coming with you,” I replied.

“Good, see me in ENB later,” he said and then made his exit.

Who would think Boss Jeon will play this huge part in my life. I really hate him that’s true but deep inside me wants to thank him too.

I’m really grateful I met him.

I went back to my cell holding my new clothes that Boss Jeon bought me. I am currently changing clothes inside the cell when Beomgyu asked me.

“We’re not going to see each other again, right?” he asked me.

“I’m not sure. I don’t even know if when I’m going to comeback in here, why?” I answered him.

“Nothing, I want to meet your friends,” he replied.

I stopped from what I’m doing and smiled at him, “Me too. I wonder if your friends are tall as you,” I said and chuckled.

Beomgyu laughs so hard, “We’re made up of legs,” he joked that made me laugh. “But I wish you the best, Kim Sunoo,” he added.

I bowed at him, “I’m wishing you the best too,” I replied.

I bid my goodbye to Choi Beomgyu and he’s really happy while waving his hands on me. When I got out, wearing my mask and hat, there’s already a car waiting for me.

It’s really cold already although the sun is high, I don’t think it gives hotness. Everything feels so cold and empty.

We reached ENB and I didn’t even also thought that I’m going to be here again. The company where everything started, the reason why I entered jail and now I’m entering here again.

When I opened Boss Jeon’s office, he wasn’t in there but I saw something on his desk, it’s my cellphone and my ATM card. I also noticed a familiar bag in the chair.

I immediately walk towards it and open it. I saw the camera and my laptop inside it. Seeing this made me tear up and sobs in silence. I’m not doing this job again anymore.
I will never be someone’s sasaeng anymore.

I open my cellphone and saw lots of messaged from Ni-ki and Jungwon. They also sent me lots of videos that made me sobs even harder. They are really doing fine in there.

I’m relieved.

I’m busy reading their messages when a news notification pop outs from my screen and it says, “All HIVE artists are confirm to attend year end events except Park Sunghoon”

I pursed my lips and then put my backpack then rush outside. I wait for a taxi and get on. It stopped across the building of HIVE. Office hours already ended.

I’m standing on the other side of the road while looking at HIVE’s building. My tears started falling drastically and I felt something light is pouring from above.

It’s snowing.

My favorite season, autumn, really ended already.

Why am I in here? Why am I crying and standing in here with this kind of temperature? Why do I really feel like I want to head inside and ask if he’s in there?

I felt my phone vibrates and I answered Boss Jeon’s call. “Where are you? I told you to wait for me at my office!?” he scolded me.

“I—“ I wasn’t able to finish my sentence.

I saw this young man, tall, gorgeous and smiling while coming out from the building together with his protocol team.

“Huh? Where? We’re going to go now,” I heard Boss Jeon’s voice over the phone.

Park Sunghoon reached out his arms to catch some snow that made me feel pain. His smile is what pains me the most.

“I’m in front of HIVE’s building, p-please get me out in here,” I cried.

I even heard Boss Jeon cursed before he ended the call. I know he’s not in the line anymore but my phone is still in my ear. And my tears are still falling.

Hyung, this is going to be the last time that I’m going to see your face.

Then a car stopped in front of me and the back door opened. Before I could get on I saw Sunghoon hyung looking at my direction.

He stopped what he’s doing and looked at me for the meantime. I smiled for the meantime and waved my hands at him. My tears continue to fall down as he smiled wide while waving back at me.

I head inside the car and looked at his side and he’s still smiling at my direction. I don’t know if he knows it was me or he’s just friendly to other people.

This is going to be the last time I’ll see you but at least you’re smiling, Sunghoon hyung.