Happy Birthday, Grayson!
Or the one where everyone goes to Jason for advice
Humor/Family
April: First of all, english is DEFINITELY NOT my first language, so tell me when you'll find any mistakes.

Jason: And second, ENJOY! Cause I DIDN'T.

April: Jay, get over it.

Jason: ...done

~~~<<<|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|==|¦®¦>>>~~

"Um... hi Jason... are you... busy or something?" Tim asked rubbing his neck.

"Yeah, or something." Jason answered, sitting backward to fourteen year old and typing on the Batcomputer, searching for files on one guy he wanted to put in jail.

"Oh. Okey, doesn't matter. I won't bother you." Just as Tim was about to go upstairs and leave the cave, Jason turned towards Tim, still in the chair, and said "Geez, kid, I was joking! What's up?"

"You know that Dick's birthdays are next week, right?"

"I heard so." Of course he knew, but this 'I have everyone somewhere' bad boy image won't stand up for itself, will it?

"Well, I... um... don't really know what to get for him. I mean, sure, I know what he likes and all that, that's just... I've been in almost every wallmart in Gotham and I just can't find the right thing!"

Tim shouted the last sentence and Jason looked confused. Usually Tim was the calm one. Okey, MAYBE Jason was second eldest from all of them, and MAYBE he spent a lot of time with Dick. Just MAYBE. But this didn't mean that he knows him the best! Shouldn't this kid go to Bruce for an advice? Why Jason? There were bunch of others if not Bruce. Wally for example. Or Roy. Barbara. Or even Alfred for God's sake! Yeah, Alferd probably would have known. Or maybe he would just say something like: 'this has to be from you, young sir, I do not want to and will not think for you'.

"Why did you come to me? I don't know a shit about Golden Boy."

"Yeah, right. Doesn't matter what you say, everybody knows that from all of us he's hanging out with you the most."

Well, that was an argument, and truth, but hey! It usually was because:
a) Dick was hanging out with Wally and Roy with Jason, but Roy wanted to hang out with them too so Jason ended up hanging out with his way-too-good-looking, everone's favorite, older brother one way or another;
b) some stupid girl had broken up with Dick and he wanted to drink with his brother and Tim and Damian were WAY too young;
c) both of them had a bad day and wanted to kick some sons of a bitch's asses;
Or:
d) they really wanted to spend some time together without Damian trying to kill Tim and Tim trying to lock Damian up in the closet;
e) someone had to wash the Batmobile, so they ran as far away as they could, which was usually the Bat-bunker at the suburbs of Gotham, and they had a sleepover;
All he said was:

"But I don't know him best. You should have gone to Wally."

Jason saw that Tim twitched and was very uncomfortable in this very moment, so he gave up and said "Relax. I'll TRY to help, but I have a bad feeling about this."

Tim looked up at him (all this time he was staring at the bats up high or the floor), curious. "Di- did you just... quote Star Wars at me?"

Jason smiled.
"Dick made me watch it enough times to remember. And I'm a fan."

Tim just raised an eyebrow.

"He likes Star Wars? Since when?!"

This time it was Jason who looked shocked. Wasn't Dick, like, one of the biggest SW fans he knew? He an West were doing those Star Wars pranks of them all the time and he heard that Dick learned that language or whatever which droids used (and he taught Wally too)? He stood up and walked to Tim. He put his hands on boy's shoulders an asked:

"Since he was, like, nine? Wait wait wait. You want to tell me that he haven't done ANYTHING Star Wars-related or talked about it most of the time in R2's language?! What the hell is going on under this frigging Bat-roof?!"

"No? ...bat-roof?"

Jason sat down on the chair again. He rubbed corners of his eyes with his thumb and middle finger and remained quiet.

After a minute he snapped out of this when Tim said:
"So... I'll just buy him something special with Star Wars... Thanks Jay! For something!" The certain teen ran towards an exit from the Batcave and Jason was just sitting there, thinking about how he suddelny became this helpful big brother.

~~~<<<|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|==|¦®¦>>>~~~

It wasn't even half an hour since he came back to his work when he felt someone's presence behind his back. With his bat-reflex Jason reached for his guns and took a step back to get a better look at a mysterious individual. Suddenly there was a loud 'tt' and he saw Demon-brat, with his arms crossed on his chest and raised right eyebrow.

"Put those down, Todd, if you don't want to be decapitated."

With a sigh Jason returned the pistols to their rightful place (he still thinks that it's in his hands, but who would listen!).

"What do ya want, brat?"

Damian made his back straight and rised his chin. "I demand your assistance with something." Jason rised both his eyebrows.

"Wait, what?"

"I demand-"

"No! Not that!... Did you just... asked ME... for HELP?"

"I did not such a thing."

"I think you just did."

"Wash your ears, Todd. I said that I demand your assistance, not that I need it in any possible way."

"Belive whatever you want. So what do you need my... assistance... with?"

"Tt- as you're more capable of..." he said something very quiet "than Drake."

"What?"

"You're more capable than Drake."

"Thanks, I guess? Still. What's. Your. Problem?"

A minute of silence later there still was no answer.

"Let me guess. You don't know what to give to Dick."

Suddenly Damian moved and sat on the desk, next to the keyboard.

"Let's say that that's the case, Ja- Todd. What would YOU give to him?"

"A bullet into his handsome head."

Demon gave him THE batglare so Jason gave up and 'surrendered'. "Oh my God, kid, it was a JOKE! You really thought that I would kill the Golden Boy?! I would must have been crazy!"

"So?"

"So what?"

"What would you get?"

"You should know, you're his favorite 'little bro'."

"Well, certainly I don't."

"You can draw quite good, make him something. I just bought him a stupid T-shirt! (yeah, maybe that was an all-Batfamily tee (well, their chibi version), but they didn't have to know and copy his idea)"

Damian seemed to think about something for a moment and suddenly jumped from the desk, next second going towards the exit. "Your... assi- help is.. appreciated." He disappeared the very next moment.

"That was one of the nicest thing you've ever said to me." He said to an empty space. Then Jason returned to his work once again.

~~~<<<|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|>>>~~~

Bruce walked into the main cave.

"If you want to know what to give Dick, leave it. I don't know. Bake him some shit and don't set the kitchen on fire in the process."

And Bat walked out.

~~~<<<|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|>>>~~~

Next week when Jason went to get some coffee (not only Tim is addicted, he's just worse at hiding it) he saw something he would never expect.

"You've got to be kidding me! Did you guys REALLY bake an enormous Dick as Jedi Knight?! He has, like, six feets!!!"

In this very moment Dick decided to wake up and eat some breakfast, but when he saw his cake, his bright smile made everyone in the kitchen blind. He threw his hands in the air and shouted: "I'm a frigging JEDI MASTER! BEWARE THE MIGHT OF MY FORCE! OH MAN, JUST WAIT 'TIL WALLY SEES IT! My God, he'll be SOOOOOO jealous!!! God, someone make a blue lightsaber, yes, I'm looking at you Timmy! That's, like, my BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!"

Then he closed his eyes and made a pose like he was going to use the force at the box of cereal and a bottle of milk to make himself breakfast.

"Eeaa... Dick? What are you doing?" Tim asked.

"Shh! I'm jedi-ing!"

"You're doing wha-" Bruce didn't have the right to end because a certain red-headed speedster ran into the room and instantenously stood still in awe. Dick stood up and smiled.

"See now?!"

"Oh. My GODS-OF-BEAUTIFUL-FOOD! You weren't joking!"

"I wouldn't joke about THAT!"

"West, why are you here?"

"To see this beauty, of course! Why else?"

Bruce took a step towards him. "That doesn't explain anything. Who told you?"

Dick put a hand on Batman's shoulder. "Told you I was jedi-ing! He felt it in the Force!"

And everyone but Wally facepalmed.

~~~<<<|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|==|¦®¦|>>>~~~

The End

R&R!

G'night
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