Chapter 53
"What happened to you? How?! When?! Who dared?!!" Taehyung went off after he retrieved himself from the hug he was gifting to Sira.
"Okay. Take the questions more slowly please. I will explain." She giggled at his worried behavior, while pulling his hand to sit back down at the edge of the bed.
"It was an accident. I got distracted and i passed a red light." She explained, her eyes drifting away from his as she felt burdened by his stare, that was quite serious.
"The heck were you thinking!! Yah! You are not a kid! You should be more careful! You could have -. Aish!" He stormed off at her, standing up again,his frustration visible through his body language, as he was pacing up and down, ruffling his hair aggressively.
"I am sorry." She apologized, lowering her head, as she started feeling bad.
Silence fell for a moment, Taehyung looking at her and feeling bad himself for yelling at her and making her feel apologetic. So he sat back down at the edge of the bed and without looking at her, placed his hand over hers.
"Don't apologize. I didn't mean to yell at you or blame you. I just.." Taehyung tried to explain himself but at that moment, after realizing what he was about to say, he halted his tongue, in surprise of his thoughts.
I just.. got scared of losing you
"Let's not talk about it anymore okay. I am fine after all. Also.. I called you for another reason." Sira looked up at him, feeling her heart beating faster against her chest nervous about the words that she wanted to confess to him.
"What is it?" Taehyung asked her, finally making eye contact with her, while his hand took a gentle hold of hers.
"I know it may sound silly and you are probably going to laugh at me but.." She stopped, feeling a lump growing in her throat.
"When i got hit by that car. At those mere seconds, i thought everything was over. And while at the hospital, i couldn't help but think that my life could end at any minute. Yours too. Or anyone's. And at that moment i realized that.. I wanted to give it a try. "She spoke as calmly as she could, remembering her feelings and the scary thoughts of death that had penetrated her heart at that moment.
" I don't understand. "He simply told her, looking at her with his puzzled gaze.
" I know you were pretty clear that night. I know that i don't have a chance with you. I know that you don't want me to have any hopes but I realized that I really want to try. I want to try and create a chance to be with you. So, i decided to let you know. "Sira spoke confidently to Taehyung's surprise, making him stare at her blankly, not believing that any girl would have the courage to pursue him so openly.
" I am gonna try my best to win your heart Taehyung. Just wait and you will see!"She smiled brightly, her arms folding upon her chest as her chin rise confidently, placing a smile initially on his lips, before he broke to a fit of laughter.
Sira stayed silent observing him laugh, feeling at the edge of crying at his reaction, even though she had thought of the possibility of him making fun of her feelings.
"You don't have to laugh that hard you know. A simple 'You are delusional' or 'Keep dreaming' would have been enough" She told him, pouting, as her eyes turned to look down at the blanket that was covering her lap.
"If i had said any of that,would you have given up?" His deep voice reached her ears, a serious tone having replaced his laughter.
"No." She responded in all honesty as she had thought this through many times. She wasn't asking much, just for him to let her try, and if they weren't meant to work out then she would back away. She wanted him to be happy after all but at the same time, she wanted to be true towards herself and be able to not regret anything in her life. And not pursuing him was something she surely would regret.
Her heart grew even sadder as silence fell between them again, her mind full of scary thoughts that after this conversation, he might push her away and end their friendship, which was the only thing that connects them.
However her worried thoughts vanished for a second, as she felt his fingers against her chin, lifting her head up to meet his calm eyes and faint smile that was ghosting his lips.
Without her having a chance to say anything, his face grew closer, his lips softly placing themselves upon hers, sending her mind to a black out and her heart beat to accelerate.
"You Promise me that you will always be this persistent with me?" He whispered at her lips after pulling away from the sweet slow peck.
"I won't give up that easily on you. Trust me." She told him, her eyes looking at his fondly.
Taehyung stayed quiet again for a while, just staring at her eyes. Those eyes that he so much wanted to trust and at the same time, he feared to do so.
"Let's try then." He gave in to that loving gaze that was so endearingly looking at him, thinking that she surely deserved a chance more than anyone that he had actually slept with.
----Change of set---
SeonGi returned to her living room, now fully dressed and with dried hair, as she had allowed Jimin to enter her house then excused herself for a while, considering that she had just gotten out of the shower when he arrived at her door step.
"I suppose you came to explain yourself about the party, right?" She asked him, as she took her seat opposite him, bitter memories of him kissing his maid coming in mind.
"Not really." He responded, leaning forward, placing his elbows on his knees.
"So now i don't even deserve an explanation?" She questioned, feeling anger rising inside her.
"If you wouldn't, i wouldn't be here,but what i want to explain has nothing to do with Y/N, so please just listen." He told her, his soft gaze meeting hers.
"I know you slept with someone yesterday night." He exclaimed, her eyes going wide at the surprise of his knowledge and her mouth out of reflex, snapped.
"Are you blaming me now? Do you even know how I was feel-" Her words however her abruptly interrupted by Jimin's.
"Taehyung is my brother." His statement, echoed in her ears as her mind went blank at the unbelievable and unexpected information that was thrown at her.
Seeing how she had went speechless out of shock, Jimin took the chance to continue, having the opinion that is better to throw everything at her together and be done with it.
This wasn't easy for him either after all, so the quicker he would be done with it the better. He had learned after all the times he had had to do the explanation in the past and he had a clear view of the near future that awaits. What was the point in lingering into it. He knew that at the end he would be hated again .
"I never introduced you to my family because i didn't want them to know i am in a relationship. You see, we have a small vendetta with my brother and he is sworn to get away from me every woman that I would grow to care about. And he always succeeds." Jimin admitted, a pained smirk appearing for a second on his lips, as his fingers intertwined with each other, his eyes focused on them.
"And i cared for you. I really thought that this time it would work. But -" He stopped, his hand reaching his hair, pulling them back in frustration, taking some minutes to collect himself from continuing.
SeonGi was left staring at him, finding his words unbelievable yet they made sense. The reason he kept her hidden. The reason he didn't mind having a secret relationship with her. The reason why whenever they would go out together he would seem more worried of paparazzi than she herself was. He wasn't doing it because of her career, he had another reason. A reason she could have never thought of.
"I screwed up again. I don't even know how this time things got more complicated than ever. I own you an apology." He added, his hair now messed up, as that was the aftermath of his tangled feelings.
"I was attracted to you and I started this. I really never had any bad intentions. I just wanted to love you and even though at an extent i do, it never is enough" He admitted, her eyes becoming teary at his words, as she could feel his pain.
"Don't say that! I am so sorry! It's all my fault. I didn't know, i shouldn't have assumed anything. I am so sorry." She told him, her voice breaking, reflexively her hands reaching to her mouth as she realized that it did, tears steaming freely down her cheeks after.
Jimin averted his eyes at the ground not feeling strong enough to look at her. At one more person that he had brought to tears.
"It is not enough not because of your betrayal or your love SeonGi. It has nothing to do with you. It's not enough because every love that i have had after her, was insufficient. No one ever matched, no one was ever able to compete."
SeonGi gazed at him confused, as her hand was whipping away her tears.
" Who? "She asked, realizing that she was way more oblivious than she had thought when it came to him.
They were together for over a year yet it seems like she knew him so little.
" You don't have to know. However I do realize my actions and that I have hurt you. I know an apology is not enough but i want you to know that after today, if you want to, you can come to me whenever you need a friend. My door will be always open for you. "He concluded, pulling his body up from the couch he was sitting.
" Are you breaking up with me? "She questioned, dumbfounded at how little he had explained yet how easily he was ready to leave.
This didn't made any sense. How dare he say that he practically never loved her! How can he say something like that so easily! So straightforwardly. Why did he had to be so cruel yet leaving behind a lingering opportunity for comfort when she would be in need.
Wasn't he taking her for a weakling? Wasn't he just playing with her feelings once again? Not even asking about her feelings, her pain, her guilt.
"How can you be like this?!The Jimin i know would never treat me like this!" She raised her voice at him, standing up herself, as her hands had gathered into tight fists.
It was true, the Jimin she knew would never treat her like that. The Jimin she knew would try to hold on to her, would apologize and tell her the he loved her, that he needed her to stay. The Jimin she knew would swipe away her tears trying to comfort her, he would do anything to make her smile. He would take every outburst of her stress without complaining or showing anger towards her not even for a second. He would bare with every behavior of hers and at the end he would always say that he understands and he always stays by her side at the end. The Jimin she knew was the Jimin she needed.
But the Jimin she knew was not real. He was incomplete. The Jimin she knew was the Jimin he though she needed and she would love. The Jimin she knew was a desperate act of his to find love and be loved. He was a perfect creation made by him to win her love and as thus, the Jimin she knew was far from the real him.
Jimin looked past his shoulder after her words reached to his ears, a bitter smile haunting his lips as his sad eyes looked at her.
"You, never tried to know me. That's why you don't really know me." He left his words echo on the now silent heavy atmosphere, before the sound of his footsteps decorated that silence, as he took his leave.
Out of her house, out of one more relationship, one more love. Out of one more story that reminded him of how trapped he truly was.
---To be continued....
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