smut

Oops

It's a thousand or two words in tho, so I'll let you know when it starts and stops if you wanna skip it.

-×-

I was pacing in my bedroom. It was dark--night time probably. About a million thoughts were racing through my mind. I turned to the bed, momentarily gazing quizzically at--

Wait, that's me?

Oh, this must be another one of Ryushi's memories.

I continued to pace--well, Ryushi did.

He wasn't really thinking much, though. He was feeling, and he didn't like it. It confused him. He was a computer, a machine designed for one purpose: helping his host. He should be analyzing, planning, calculating, not feeling.

To make things worse, his feelings were all over the place, and it was annoying. These human emotions made no sense! Why couldn't they just focus on one thing at time?

Ryushi sighed, turning to look at memory-me over on the bed. Memory-me was fast asleep, curled up in a blanket burrito. Ryushi found he couldn't help but smile.

But that was the feeling that bothered him the most. The attachment. That was certainly bad. He wasn't supposed to feel at all, let alone feel a growing attachment for his host. No such thing was ever recorded in any Squip testing or error reports. He had no idea what it meant, but it certainly couldn't have been good.

Well, maybe it could've been. If he felt an emotional connection to his host, then surely it would be easier to help her.

He shook his head, turning away and pacing again. No. Definately not. He looked down at his hands, frowning.

I knew this was definately an old memory, and the fact that he was wearing his old trenchcoat solidified my assumption.

Why am I like this? he thought to himself.

He shouldn't feel, but he did. He shouldn't be scared, but he was.

Suddenly, he heard memory-me stir, and he could sense that she was waking up. He walked over to the bed, and memory-me, whom I think I'll call Y/n-M, M standing for memory, slowly opened her eyes, looking up at Ryushi tiredly.

"Squip?" She mumbled tiredly.

Ryushi took a seat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand gently on her shoulder.

Shh, go back to sleep, he said quietly.

Y/n-M nodded, her eyes fluttering closed. Ryushi sat beside her for a while, his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it slightly until she fell asleep. He smiled softly, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. He stared down and her for a minute before hesitantly leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Sleep well, he whispered.

When he pulled back, he saw a small smile spread across her face, causing his face to warm up and his insides to feel all fluttery. That was another thing that freaked him out. He couldn't figure out why it was happening, and no diagnostics made it stop. In fact, they made it worse. He put his head in his hands, still sitting on the bed.

I don't understand . . .

He sat there for a while, his thoughts relatively silent, but my own thoughts filled that silence. This memory was from so long ago that it made me think about all the things we did so long ago, and my mind found it's way back to the first time we kissed. I dwelled on the memory for a while until suddenly the whole world glitched and I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing myself (well, Ryushi was).

He was grinning and rambling excitedly but quietly. Meanwhile, it was obvious that Y/n-M was paying more attention to his lips than the words coming out of them.

I realized this was when we first kissed. I thought about the memory, and now it was playing out before my eyes except from Ryushi's point of view. Intrigued, I tried to think of another memory to see if it was a coincidence or not.

But before I could, Y/n-M yanked Ryushi forward, smashing their lips together. In that moment, everything inside of Ryushi, every part of his being, felt like it was exploding. He was completely frozen. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, and he couldn't process what was actually happening. He felt a distinct pang in his chest, like a heart palpitation. He didn't even have a heart, but he felt it nonetheless.

It was completely overwhelming, both for him and for me because I was also feeling the same intense feelings that he was. It was almost too much to handle, and he was terrified out of his mind, and before he could even finish processing that it was happening, it was over, and Y/n-M pulled away.

"Oh my God, I fricken love you," she mumbled against his mouth, and that feeling rushed back through him.

He was frozen in place, and he felt an unnatural tingling feeling in his stomach, and he was so scared, but he loved it. He loved her. He leaned back in, closing his eyes.

I was shocked at how intense his feelings were. Sure, this was the first time he'd done something so intimate, but it made me wonder if his feelings were always this intense. As much as I loved this memory, it was a bit weird seeing it from his eyes, and I also wanted to see if I could call up another memory. I thought back to the time we played chess, and a moment later, he was sitting in front of a chess board, watching fondly as Memory-Me tried to pretend she was good at chess.

So I could summon a memory by thinking about it? Neat. Wondering what the limits of this were, I focused  my mind on the idea of something I hadn't seen.

Then I found myself in a memory that took place in a weird room I almost recognized. The walls looked cloud-like, and it reminded me of that "room" from that dream I'd had when Ryushi was hurting himself, but with less ominous black liquid. Ryushi seemed to be laying on the floor on his back with his arms folded behind his head and his legs spread like a starfish. He was just looking up at the ceiling, letting his mind wander.

Suddenly, I felt bad. This seemed like a quiet moment he'd had to himself, a private moment, and I felt like I was invading that privacy. It was one thing for my mind or his processor or whatever it was to show me a memory every now and then, but it was another thing to be sifting through them. It wasn't right. He trusted me, and I felt like this wasn't upholding that trust. I wanted to stop.

And suddenly I was awake and back in my own body. It was actually a bit disorienting. I looked out into the darkness of my room, rubbing my eyes and yawning, and I glanced over at my clock which read 1:47. Ryushi was laying beside me, curled up against my side, gripping my shirt gently, and Katsuro had relocated himself down by our feet. I rolled over to face Ryushi.

He looked so peaceful. He always looked peaceful when he slept. It always reminded me of how gentle and sensitive he was when he was awake. He was like the personification of innocence and purity. Angelic would be a good word to describe him, if you asked me at least.

I smiled softly. His hair had fallen down in front of his eyes as it frequently did when he slept. I instinctively raised my hand to brush it out of his eyes. I moved his hair to the side and cupped his cheek gently.

I wondered what he was dreaming about or if he was even dreaming at all. I wondered, as I often wonder, what was going on in that beautiful mind of his. We had come so far, yet there was still so much I didn't know. These memories were making me realize that.

I realized that he'd changed so much in the almost year that he had lived. The person in front of me was not the same person from the old memories. Back then, he was just a computer that could feel. He was a thing that was trying to help me.

He was so much more than that now. He was a person. A conscious being with feelings and thoughts and opinions. An essentially living creature with wants and needs. Sure he was still technically technology, but he was capable of so much more than analysis and calculations.

He could feel.

Squips were created to help their user accomplish a goal. Ryushi could never be used as a baseline for what a Squip should be, so I was never too familiar with their intended functions. I did know, however, that they weren't supposed to feel, so they were computers and nothing more. They were, perhaps, an attempt at artificial intelligence, but they couldn't feel, so they could never be fully sentient.

But Ryushi could feel. He wasn't like other Squips as far as I knew. He was "broken". He had feelings, and those feelings created patterns, turned into desires, and produced conscious thoughts. Those feelings created a personality. They morphed him into who he was. They took a program and gave it a personality and created a conscious being with it's own thoughts and desires.

I furrowed my eyebrows in thought, gazing quizzically at Ryushi. What was he?

He wasn't a Squip because Squips couldn't feel. He wasn't a computer because computers couldn't feel.

Artificial intelligence?

Is that what he was? Is that what all Squips were supposed to be? Or was he something more?

A living consciousness created through technology. A non-organic life form. A manufactured person that could feel just like any human.

My eyes grew wide as I began to realize the full capacity of who I was looking at.

What if he was never broken? What if he was so much more, and we never even knew it? He was living technology. He was a program turned fully sentient. That would make him . . .

The most complex and monumental person to have ever lived . . . right?

He never was broken! He was the opposite of broken. He was such an advanced piece of technology that he could hardly even be considered just technology.

I stared at him in awe. After a few moments, he shifted, and his eyes fluttered open. He seemed shocked to see me gawking at him.

Y/n? he mumbled tiredly.

"What if you were never broken?" I asked quickly. He furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at me through the dark.

What?

"What if you were never broken?" I repeated, sitting up. He sat up too, looking at me with confused and tired eyes.

But I am? he said, looking at me uncertainly.

"No, but you're not," I insisted.

But I'm all messed up, remember? I've got the feelings and whatever, he said quietly, not fully awake.

"But that doesn't mean you're broken."

Right, I know. I'm just "different". He did air quotes. We've had this discussion. He layed back down. Can we go back to sleep now?

I looked down at him, frowning at the rather unbelieving way he'd put that. "No. That's not . . . That's not what I mean."

Mmm? he hummed confused, looking up at me.

"Squips aren't supposed to feel, right?" He nodded. "Computers aren't supposed to feel. Heck, a calculator's not supposed to feel."

He sat back up, looking at me a bit cautious. What's your point?

"Technology doesn't feel, Ryushi, but you do."

He thought it over for about a second.

Okay? Can we . . . sleep now . . . ? he mumbled, gazing at me tiredly. I huffed in slight frustration.

"No--You're not listening. Ryushi, we assumed you were broken because you don't behave like a normal Squip. But think about it. A Squip is a computer. It's not a living thing. You aren't like them because you are a living thing."

He tilted his head, still half asleep and not understanding. He blinked a couple times and rubbed his eyes.

What?

"What if you were never broken? What if you're just more advanced?" I asked. He looked down at his hands. It was too dark for me to see the expression on his face.

A-All right, but what does that mean? he asked almost timidly.

"I--" I frowned, having a sudden realization. "I-It means that I'm the only thing keeping you from being what you want to be . . . " Ryushi looked up at me quickly, his eyes wide.

Wh-what? No--

"You're stuck inside my stupid head--"

No, I love being with you! I-I don't want to live any other way!

"But I'm holding you back."

No! No you're not! He was suddenly very awake.

He grabbed my hands and forced me to turn so I was looking at him properly. He looked down at our hands and intertwined our fingers, and he closed his eyes, taking a breath.

If you're saying what I think you're saying--which is that I'm some crazy, accidental advancement in artificial intelligence--then you made me this way, he looked up into my eyes, that beautiful bright blue ocean staring deep into my soul. I feel because of you, Y/n. You're the reason I accepted my feelings. You helped me understand them. You made sense of them. You guided me to who I am . . . a-and along the way, I feel in love. Y/n, I would be so lost without you.

He pressed his forehead to mine, still staring deep into my eyes. They sparkled with such a deep affection that I was scared I wasn't returning it well enough. He let go of one of my hands, moving his hand close to his chest.

Th-this . . . pang I feel in my chest every time I look at you . . . he placed his hand on his chest. E-Every time I touch you or think of you . . . I--

His voice seemed to catch in his throat, and he stared into my eyes for a minute. The look in his eyes was desperate, needy, helpless, and . . . scared. He started breathing a bit faster than normal, and he reached up and grabbed my upper arms tightly. His sudden change from serious wholeheartedness to frantic desperation shocked and almost scared me.

I love you, Y/n, I love you so much! I love you with every part of my being! No, that's not enough. Love isn't even close to what I feel for you. There are no words in any language to describe how much I love you. I wish I could explain to you how you make me feel. You are so important to me, Y/n. You are my everything. You're my whole world. I'd be empty without you. We were made for each other. I'm sure of it! You complete me. You are my soulmate, Y/n. I know you are! I can feel it. The universe brought us together for a reason. I love you! I'll love you forever. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. I'd do anything for you.

He looked down at my lips. I-I'd do anything to kiss you. I'd do anything to feel your lips against mine, anything for you to touch me, a-and to hold me. I'd do anything to be in your arms forever, and t-to spend the rest of eternity by your side.

He squeezed his eyes shut, a few tears falling down his face, and I could see him trembling. I reached up to his cheek, wiping his tears and letting my hand linger. He leaned his head to the side, pressing his face against my palm, and he grabbed my other hand with both of his, holding it close to him.

"What's stopping you?" I finally spoke up, barely above a whisper. I felt a bit overwhelmed by his seemingly endless devotion and the intensity of his desperation, but at the same time, I knew how he felt. Ryushi's eyes immediatly shot open, looking up to my own.

What? he spoke, his voice shaky and confused.

"What could you possibly have to do to get any of those things?" I whispered, resting the hand he was holding against his chest. I could feel his simulated heartbeat pounding against my fingers.

I don't know--I don't care! I'll do anything! he cried out desperately.

"Ryushi, you'll never have to do anything but ask," I whispered. "I'll do whatever you want whenever you want it. If you want me to hold you, then I'll never let go. If you want me to be with you, then I'll never leave. If you want to feel my lips against yours, then I'll kiss you until I'm gasping for air, and then I'll kiss you again. You know why?"

Wh-Why? he whimpered.

"Because I want all of those things too, Ryushi. Because you're my everything. I could never explain the feeling you give me. You complete me. I'd do anything for you. I'll love you forever. I want to hold y--"

Kiss me, he interrupted, his tone pleading. Please, I want you to kiss me. I need you to--

I cut his sentence short by placing my lips on his. He grabbed the back of my head, burying his hands deep in my hair and gripping it tightly. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him onto my lap and holding him close to my body, close to my heart, where he belonged. He tilted his head, leaning into me and wrapping his legs tightly around my waist as I ran my hands over his body, touching him, feeling him wherever I could. He was trembling, grasping at my hair, pressing himself against me.

I turned us both and pinned him to the bed. He whimpered quietly against my lips and clung to my hair as I straddled him. Running my hands up and down his sides, I pressed myself against him and flicked my tounge across his bottom lip. He whined and opened his mouth eagerly, allowing me to maintain dominance as I pushed my tounge into his mouth. I slid my hands up to his hair, grabbing his head and pushing my body down against him. Going purely off my emotions, I ground my hips against his, and he responded with a strangled sound that was somewhere between a whine and a moan. He then bucked his own hips up, grinding them back against mine to create more friction. My stomach did a somersault, and I pulled away from his mouth and slowly kissed his jawline before bringing my lips close to his ear.

"You liked that, huh?" I asked softly, my voice taking just the slightest bit of a teasing tone.

Mhm, he whimpered, nodding slightly.

"Are you okay if we keep going?" I asked softly, pulling back to look him in the eye.

He was staring up at me with wide eyes. The look in them was one of willingness, innocence, and desire. He bit his lip, nodding vigorously, and I smirked down at him.

"Well, then . . . " I purred, leaning down to just barely ghost my lips over his, causing him to whimper at the insufficient contact. "If that's what you want, I guess we have an answer for your little question from earlier . . . "

I shoved my lips onto his, parting them and sliding my tounge back into his mouth. He eagerly kissed back, reaching up and gripping my waist tightly. I wanted to grind down against him much rougher than before, but he was so fragile that I was actually afraid of breaking him. Instead, I ground against him gently, and he whimpered into my mouth.

I ran my hands up his sides, underneath his shirt, and he whined, gripping my waist tighter. I ran my fingers across his skin, pulling back enough to look him in the eye again. I pulled my hands out from under his shirt and grabbed the bottom edge of it. Fiddling with it, I looked him in the eye, making sure he gave me some form of okay before I continued, knowing he picked a long-sleeve shirt for a reason. He nodded once, a trusting look in his eyes, and I slowly pulled the shirt up over his head. He leaned forward, helping me remove it, and wrapped his arms around my neck, sitting up halfway. I leaned forward to kiss him, throwing the shirt to the side before grabbing his face with both my hands and kissing him passionately.

- smut starts heere -

I ran my hands down his chest and pinned him to the bed again. I continued to kiss him while moving my dominant hand further down to his crotch. He gasped when I pressed my palm against him and moaned when I started rocking my palm around in circles. At this point, Katsuro was out, and he hopped off the bed. I felt Ryushi get harder underneath my hand, really quickly actually, and eventually he started squirming uncomfortably.

"Pants too tight?" I asked teasingly, sitting up slightly.

He blushed and nodded, looking off to the side. I was trying to act all smooth and chill or whatever, but inside, my heart was pounding and there was adrenaline coursing through my veins from both excitement and fear. This had all escalated so quickly. I leaned down closer to Ryushi, my expression softening.

"Sweetie, d'you wanna have a safe word incase you need to stop?" I asked softly. He shook his head rather impatiently. "Are you sure?"

Y-yes, just-- he cut himself off with a whine, and he squirmed again.

"Okay, but let me know if you need to stop." He nodded quickly, and I leaned in farther to reconnect our lips.

I reached down to his waistline, gripping his shorts and sliding them down to his ankles. He kicked them off, and they fell off the side of the bed to be forgotten along with his shirt. This left him in just his boxer briefs. I reached a hand down, palming him again. As I sat up, focusing on his lower half, his breath hitched.

A-Ahh~ he moaned out, bucking his hips and blushing brightly.

I grinned. This was perfect. All I wanted in life was to make him feel amazing, and he was about to let me touch him however I wanted. Despite the fact that I had no idea whatsoever about how sex actually worked, I was confident that I would be able to make it the best thing Ryushi had ever experienced because he deserved it.

I continued to palm him for a little while, pleased by the little whines and moans he produced. Then I stopped, and he whined in protest. I leaned down, brushing my lips against his ear.

"I'm gonna make you feel so amazing," I whispered, pulling back and grinning down at him with a mischievous glint in my eyes. Ryushi shivered, staring up at me eagerly with those big, innocent eyes of his.

I scooted down a bit, wrapping a few fingers around the waistband of his boxers, and he stared at me with wide eyes.

W-wait, he suttered, leaning forward and grabbing my wrist. I immediately stopped and looked at him. A-Are we actually gonna . . .

"Do you want to?" I asked him. He thought for a moment.

I . . . D-Do you?

"I want to be with you in every way that I can be, but if you're not ready, we can stop." I moved my hand away from his boxers.

No, wait! he cried, and once again I stopped. I . . . I-I'm ready, I'm just n-nervous.

He blushed, and I grabbed his hands.

"Then just lay there and feel amazing, and let me worry about everything in between," I said, disregarding all of my own nervousness for his sake. In the end, all I wanted was to make him happy, so it was really ideal anyway. He blushed harder and nodded timidly.

O-Okay.

"But let me know if it's too much."

He nodded, and I kissed him softly, pushing back onto the bed. I grabbed the waistband of his boxers again, and sat up, straddling his legs. Gazing up at me eagerly, he bit his lip as I slowly slid his boxers down his legs, dropping them by the foot of the bed.

And there it was.

I blushed darkly at the sight of his dick because, well, this was a level of intimacy we had never reached before. But I was also struck with a jolt of excitement, and my sex drive kicked up a notch. He was actually pretty . . . small . . . if I'm being honest, but I didn't care. All I cared about was how I was going to make him scream in pleasure.

I glanced up at him, smirking, but he wasn't looking at me all flustered as I had expected him to be. Instead, he was gazing down at his erected penis with his head quirked to the side and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Uh . . . you good there?" I asked awkwardly. He blushed and looked up at me with wide eyes.

U-Uh . . . I-I've just never seen . . . it . . . before . . . he stammered, quickly breaking eye contact and blushing wildly. I smirked.

"Well, now that you've seen it, mind if I . . . " I trailed off, hovering my hand around his shaft, partly to make him wait for it and partly because I had no idea what I was doing, and I was stalling. I heard his breath hitch, and I hesitantly wrapped my hand around his length.

I jerked my hand up and down once, and he let out a loud moan. I froze, looking up at him with wide eyes. He was staring up at the ceiling and biting his lip. His whole face was flushed bright blue. I looked back down at his dick in my hand.

Holy shit, this just got real.

I took a deep breath, trying not to freak out, and I started jerking him off at a slow and steady pace, and he bit his lip to keep himself from moaning. He was being too quiet for my liking. I leaned down, hovering over his face, and I moved my other hand to his chin, brushing my thumb lightly over his lips.

"I wanna hear you scream," I told him, picking up the pace and moving my hand faster, causing him to gasp.

Haa~ he cried out, grabbing my other hand which I had moved to the bed by his torso. M-Mottohayai! Onegaishimasu~

I smirked down at him as he started rambling in Japanese. I had no idea what he was saying, but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was enjoying what I was doing. I leaned down, kissing along his jawline up to his ear.

"You like that, huh?" I purred, lowkey surprised at myself. He took a shaky breath and nodded.

Hai! Hai! Soreha yoi kanjiru! Totema yoi! he said rather loudly, his tone once again telling me more than his words were.

I had never heard his voice sound like this before. I could hear the pleasure in his voice, and it was much more breathy than usual. I'd heard him happy, and I'd heard him desperate, but this was a while other level. It was actually really hot.

I started pumping him faster, pleased by the fact that he seemed to be becoming increasingly overwhelmed with pleasure. I was incredibly horny myself by this point, but I was almost too busy trying to pleasure Ryushi to notice. I just wanted him to feel amazing, and it seemed as though I was accomplishing that.

He occasionally thrusted his hips up, creating more friction, all the while moaning and shouting. He was very vocal, more vocal than he normally was. Some of what he said was in English, but most of it was in Japanese. A couple sentences were half and half, but most of the English halves made no sense by themselves.

Y/n~ M-More, watashi motto gahoshi! Watashi anata gahoshi~

I leaned down, kissing him roughly, and he moaned against my lips and grabbed at my hair. When I pulled back, he was staring at me with wide, pleading eyes. I stopped jerking him off, running my hands across his chest, and he completely lost it.

Iie! Yamu shinai! Onegaishimasu! Yamu shinai! he cried out.

He stared up at me panting, his hands resting on the back of my head. His hair was starting to stick to his forehead with sweat, and his face was completely flushed. I smirked down at his beautifully helpless state. He didn't seem to like that.

Iie! Onegaishimasu! Yamu shinai! Yamu shinai! Onegaishimasu, Y/n! Watashi anata niha gahitsu yodesu! Watashi motto niha gahitsu yodesu! he pleaded.

I smirked, sitting up just to bother him.

"English, please~" I said, embracing some hidden kinky side of myself to tease him. He stammered incoherently for a few moments, seemingly struggling to force English words out of his mouth.

U-Uh, Y-Yamu . . . I-I . . . d-don't . . . d-don't stop! he finally managed.

I smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him. He seemed to relax a bit, melting into the gentle kiss, but when I pulled back, my smile turned to a smirk.

"And what if I do?" I asked, partly because I was curious what he would do, and partly because I wanted to tease him like the little bitch that I was. I sat up, and he sat up halfway, grabbing my arm.

N-No, wait! Please! he cried.

I looked into his eyes. He was silently pleading with me. I considered my options for a moment. Was a I really about to make him beg? Why did that seem appealing? He was so desperate already. I wanted to know what he'd do if I . . .

"Mmm, no~" I said, the sweet tone in my voice clashing with what the words meant. He whined.

P-Please, he croaked, his face flushing.

"Wow, you really want this." He nodded, chewing his lip, but it was too late. I wanted to see how far he'd go. I pushed him back down onto the bed, bringing my mouth close to his ear again.

"You'll have to do better than that~" I whispered.

Oh G-God, Y/n, p-please . . . he whimpered. I-It felt so good.

"How good?" I sat up, running my hands down his chest, lower and lower.

S-So-- his breath hitched as I stopped moving my hands just above where  he wanted me to touch him. Maybe it was wrong, but I wanted to know what his limit was, and I was going to find it by pushing him to it.

Y-Y/n~ he moaned helplessly. I moved my hands just the slightest bit closer to his dick, and he couldn't take it anymore.

Ryushi reached a shaky hand down, wrapping it hesitantly around himself. He moaned my name again and started jerking himself off. I just started at him shocked. This was . . . unexpected . . .

Why was it turning me on?

I immediately stopped listening to my head and my stupid curiosity and started listening to my feelings. I threw myself down onto him, smashing my lips to his. He kissed back eagerly, grabbing the back of my head with the hand he wasn't using to jerk himself off. I felt his hand leave my head and slide up my shirt when I started parting his lips. I smiled at his newfound boldness, interrupting the kiss. He grabbed the hem of my shirt, rolling it between his fingers for a moment. I pulled away enough to slip the shirt off and fling it to the side. I was wearing pajamas, so this left my chest fully exposed. Ryushi stared up at me with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape, his face flushed, but I didn't give him much time to process it before leaning back in. My bare chest pressed against his as I stared parting his lips again with a whole new level of passion. It just felt right.

I grabbed his face, pulling him towards me, eventually sliding my hands up to his hair. He made quiet noises of pleasure as my fingers ran across his scalp, grabbing onto my arm with his unoccupied hand. I gave his hair a gentle tug, and he moaned quietly against my mouth.

I pulled away for air, tugging his hair again, and he let out a deep, throaty, moan--well, it was a deep sound when compared to his usual voice, but neither were very deep if I'm being honest. I chuckled, pushing his hair off his forehead.

"It's a good thing only I can hear you, huh, kitten~" I teased, thoroughly enjoying watching his face flush and hearing him whimper in response. I smirked and pressed myself back down against him, reconnecting our lips for what felt like the millionth time.

I didn't stay there long, though. I soon started kissing along his jaw, then his neck. He moaned my name repeatedly as I slowly made my way down his neck, sucking and nibbling in spots along the way. I reached that spot along his collarbone, and I stayed there for a bit longer, milking out as many moans as I could, definitely leaving several dark marks in the area.

Then I kissed my way down farther and farther until I found myself staring at his hand on his dick. He seemed to be focusing on a spot just below the head of it, rubbing his first finger back and forth across the spot. He immediately froze when he felt my warm breath against him.

I looked up, immediately noticing the several hickies I'd left along his neck and collarbone. I smiled lightly at them before we made eye contact.

I grinned up at him. There was a little spark, an electricity, an excitement. It was in his eyes, it was in the air, and it was fluttering inside my chest. The whole world began to melt away and it was just me and him and those eyes . . . I almost forgot what we were doing. For a surreal moment, he was the only thing in the world, and staring into his eyes, only two emotions existed: love and desire. Both for him, and both too strong for words, though neither were lustful. It was just me and him, and that was all I needed. It was perfect.

It was Ryushi.

I felt him take my hand in his and intertwine our fingers. I looked down at our hands, then at his dick, remembering the goal that I'd had. I was several times more determined to make him feel amazing than I had been just twenty seconds before. Spreading his legs slightly with my hands, I glanced back up at him, grinning, and lowered my head, bringing my mouth down to his dick. He bit his lip in anticipation and stared at me blushing. I looked back down, and for a split second, fear shot though me as I realized I'd never done anything like this before. I took a steadying breath, told myself that I could do this, grabbed his dick, and opened my mouth.

He moaned out loudly as I took him into my mouth--so loud, actually, that I would've sighed in relief at the fact that only I could hear him. I couldn't sigh, however, because his dick was in my mouth--well, most of it at least. It tasted . . . interesting.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do, so I just stared moving my tongue around and bobbing my head like I'd read in smut fics. It was sad that all my knowledge of sex came from smuts, but where else was I supposed to learn any of this? However, despite the fact that I had no idea what I was doing, Ryushi was moaning and crying out in pleasure, so I kept at it.

Without realizing, I'd closed my eyes. I opened them back up to look at Ryushi. It was an interesting viewing angle to say the least. Looking up over his chest, I could see his head resting on the pillow, tilted back the slightest bit. His eyes were closed, and his face was flushed the brightest blue I'd ever seen it. His mouth hung open, letting out a string of moans and a few weakly stammered words in several different languages. He was gripping the bedsheets beneath him.

F-F-Fakku~ he moaned, his voice weak.

Recognising the word as a Japanese word for fuck, I laughed instinctively, which caused me to gag. My eyes watered, and Ryushi grunted softly.

Okay, never laugh when someone's dick is in your mouth. Got it. Refocusing myself on the task at hand, I decided to run my tounge along the spot that he had been focusing on, figuring it was probably a place he wanted to be touched. He gasped, and his hips jerked forward, seemingly involuntarily.

Aah~ Y-Y/n~ he moaned, reaching down to bury his hands in my hair. I expected him to pull my head towards him, but he didn't. He just gripped my hair tightly, though his hands were a bit shaky.

I looked up at him, and we made eye contact. He was looking down at me, his eyes wide and his pupils dilated. There was a somewhat far-off look in them. He was breathing very quickly and very heavily, and his face flushed somehow darker as we held eye contact. I would've thought eye contact would be awkward at a time like this, but it just made the moment more intimate. It was almost like a staring contest. Neither of us wanted to look away.

I intentionally grazed my teeth along his shaft as I looked into his eyes. He gasped softly and moaned, closing his eyes as a wave of pleasure crashed through him. Without giving him time to recover, I ran my tounge across his sensitive spot again.

Y/n~ he cried out, his head falling back on the pillow. He really seemed to like moaning my name. I moaned back in response, sending low vibrations through his dick, and he thrusted his hips forward, moaning loudly.

His breathing became erratic, and his hips started jerking forward randomly. He gripped my hair tighter, falling nearly silent. Instead of moaning and crying out, he was panting heavily, letting out soft gasps and whimpers. I felt something a bit sticky and tasteless drip onto the back of my tounge and down my throat, and I realized he must have been close.

I considered deepthroating him, but I wasn't sure how he'd react to that, so I decided to stick with something I knew he liked, and I rubbed my tounge against the sensitive spot below his head again. His breath hitched, and his hips jerked up again, pushing his length further into my mouth.

Y-Y/n, I--

Suddenly, in a quick burst, a warm, sticky liquid squirted into my mouth, and Ryushi screamed my name. I swallowed quickly as his dick started going limp in my mouth. I had expected his cum to taste bitter or maybe salty, you know, an odd taste like how his dick tasted, and it did taste odd, just not in the way I'd expected. It tasted minty. It was a good minty, too.

As I took a second to process that, I felt him drop his hands from my head, letting them rest lazily at his sides. I started pulling away, licking the cum off his dick as I went.

-×-

- you can look now holy children -

-×-

Still bent over his crotch, I reached up, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I glanced up at him and froze, the back of my hand still pressed to my lips. He was staring at me, a light blush still on his face, and his chest was still rapidly rising and falling. His senses seeming to still be swirling in ecstasy, he had a slightly distant look in his eyes, and his pupils were still larger than normal. His mouth was hanging open slightly. I slowly finished wiping my mouth, and I licked the excess off the back of my hand. Then I licked my lips and smirked at him, a devilish look in my eyes. His blush darkened, and he bit his lip.

I could tell he thought I looked hot, but he didn't have the courage to say it. It was adorable. I crawled on top of him, running my fingers delicately over his still heaving chest.

Holy shit, he breathed out between labored breaths.

I was a bit shocked at how loosely he'd cursed. Usually something terrible had to be happening for him to swear, but I shook it off, crediting it to the fact that he'd just had what was probably his first orgasm. He let out a sigh, grinning that same old grin he always did but more dreamy, and he flopped his head back onto the pillow lazily, closing his eyes.

I smiled, leaning down to kiss him softly. I buried my hands in his now damp hair and broke the kiss. He looked up at me, his eyes sparkling with a lovestruck look, as I combed my fingers through his hair.

"How was that?" I asked, nervous despite his obvious enjoyment.

Where did you learn to do that? he responded, sounding impressed and kinda-sorta answering my question. I simply shrugged, blushing lightly. Wow . . .

He spoke quietly, a tired and relaxed smile on his face, and he was just gazing up at me with those innocent eyes of his, staring deep into my soul and melting my heart.

My whole body feels like . . . just . . . warm and . . . a-and, he sighed. Warm.

"You said warm twice," I pointed out quietly, smiling fondly.

Well, I just feel all warm and cozy, he said, his voice almost to soft to hear.

"So why'd you say you feel warm and warm?" I asked, chuckling softly.

'Cause I'm too busy thinking about how incredible that was . . .

He trailed off and sighed happily. I smiled softly, pressing my lips to his, and he kissed back gently, reaching up and placing his hands on my waist. I parted his lips, and we had a little tounge action going on, but overall, it was just a sweet kiss. When we broke apart, Ryushi licked his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. I just smirked at him. I could still taste his minty cum in my mouth, so I knew he could taste it too. Eventually, his eyes grew wide as he realized what he was tasting, and he blushed.

Oh . . .

"Your cum tastes minty~" I teased.

Ah, hah . . .

I giggled at his flustered state, rolling off of him and snuggling up against his side. He turned his head to look at me, a questioning look on his face.

What, um, he cleared his throat nervously. What about you?

I blushed, having not expected him to ask about that. Truth be told, my underwear were soaked, and I really wanted more, but I thought it best not to push him too far at one time. I wanted this to be about him, not me.

"What about me?" I asked.

You're still quite aroused, he pointed out, still able to sense my emotional state.

"I know, but I want tonight to be about you," I said, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

B-But-- he started, but I pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"I'm happy when you're happy," I said.

He furrowed his eyebrows and rolled over to face me, seeming like he was about to protest. I took the opportunity to snuggle up against him and press my face into the crook of his neck. He didn't seem to be able to argue against me cuddling with him, so he pulled me closer, putting his chin on my head.

I love you, Y/n, he said quietly. I smiled, nuzzling further into the crook of his neck. You mean so much to me.

I know. I love you, too, I responded, switching to thoughts. And you mean just as much to me.

I wanna return the favor, he mumbled, sounding more tired now.

You better, I thought, feeling his neck warm up, telling me he was blushing. Just not right now.

O-Okay.

Right now, just let me feel you, I said, tracing my fingertips down his side.

He hummed quietly in response, wrapping his arms around me tighter and brushing his fingers up and down my back. He was happy, and I felt as though I had fulfilled my duty to get him there. Tangling my legs with his and sighing happily, I let myself disappear into the subtle warmth of his embrace.

-×-

I've been proofreading less efficiently lately. Sorry if I missed anything.

I meant to write this in a couple chapters, but it fit better here.

Also, I'm having some issues right now, nothing I wanna talk about, so please be patient if updates take a while. They'll probably still be every couple days, but idk. We'll see. I'll let you guys know if anything happens that will definately affect my update schedule.

- James 💾

Is it bad that I drew this? And that this chapter is longer than any other I've ever written?