Ryan tossed and turned as nightmares filled his head and haunted his dreams. He saw blood spray in front of his eyes and felt like his chest was being ripped apart. His whole body was burning like he was on fire. What was happening? He ripped at his skin and pulled at his hair, desperately trying to stop the pain. It hurt so bad... he couldn't see anything through the haze of pain. Or maybe that was just a regular haze.

Everything around Ryan had turned to black as he rolled around in the nothingness, screaming without sound. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened my eyes and his heart froze. Jacob nelt in front of him with a smile. He was covered in blood, it was dripping from every lock of hair on his head, and his eyes were glazed over despite his warm smile; there was no light in them.

Ryan trembled in despair as he stared at him. "You're dead," he whispered. "It's all my fault. I couldn't protect you!"

"It's okay," Jacob said. "You don't have to worry. I'm fine. I'm okay."

"No, you're not!" Ryan wanted to hold him, wanted to feel the weight of him in his arms, but he didn't dare touch him. He didn't deserve to. "Because of me you're dead... You were shot because I was too weak to protect you."

He shook his head. "No... You were much stronger than anyone could be. You did everything you possibly could," Jacob said.

"But, I still failed! I screwed up and got you... killed." Ryan covered his face with his hands and sobbed. "Now, I'll never get to hold you again... I can never make you smile... It's all gone and I can't change it!"

Jacob chuckled softly. "I'm still alive. I'm just in a different place," he said. "You'll see me again. I would never leave you."

"But you have to... Dead people can't stay with the living," Ryan said.

Jacob shook his head. "You're right. I can't stay here. But I know you'll come to me in time. You have so much more to live for than just me. You can fight through and when the world decides you're ready it will send you to me. Then we'll be together again," he promised.

"No! I can't do it without you! You are my world! Without you it's a waste of time," Ryan said.

Jacob kissed his forehead. "It's not. Just remember me this way. See me here and now, and don't forget anything." He glanced behind him and turned back with a smaller smile. "I have to go now. I'm being called."

"No, don't leave me!" Ryan begged frantically. He reached out, but Jacob suddenly looked very far away.

He waved as he grew distant. "This just a nightmare. They don't last. Just wake up," he said.

"No! Jacob! Don't go, please! I don't want you to leave!" Ryan shouted and ran towards him, but he just got farther and farther away. He was shrinking out of Ryan's hands and Ryan screamed for him to wait.

Jacob only smiled. "It's just a nightmare. Wake up."

*******

Ryan sat up with a jolt. "Jacob..." he said, choking air. Ryan breathed in and out of his mouth like he hadn't breathed in ages. He looked down and saw he was sitting in a bed; it was a hospital bed. It was then that he noticed the lady next to him. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm a nurse," she said. "Are you okay? You were having, by the looks of it, a very bad nightmare."

Ryan wiped his sweaty neck and blinked several times to orient himself. "Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in a hospital. You've been out for a few hours," the woman explained. She started checking his pulse.

"How did I get here...?" Ryan asked.

The nurse frowned, tilting her head at him. "You don't remember? You were resisting assistance and the officer in charge had to, regretfully, stun you. The effects haven't completely worn off yet, so try not to move much," she said. Ryan put a hand to his forehead and took deep breaths. The lady pulled out a chart. "Can you tell me your name?" she asked.

"It's... Ryan Richards," Ryan said subconsciously. As she started scribbling down his name, his mind finally began to clear. He remembered what had happened. He had been so upset he hadn't wanted anyone to be close to him and Jacob. He...

Jacob.

"Where's Jacob?" Ryan asked ubruptly. "What did..." He struggled to say the words. "What did you do with his body?"

The nurse raised her eyebrows. "As far as I know, no bodies were reported. Was there someone else besides you and the other kid the police might have missed?" she asked.

Ryan shook his head in confusion. "No... It was just me and Jacob," he said.

"Does this Jacob of yours have sandy blonde hair? Blue eyes?" she asked.

Ryan felt his hands start shaking. "Yeah," he said. "Is he okay?"

The woman smiled kindly. "He's in the room next door," she said. "Don't worry. His wound was serious, but the doctor was able to patch him up pretty good. He's resting now."

Ryan eyes watered in relief and he let the tears flow freely down his face as he stared at her, speechless. "Thank God..."

She looked up to smile at him, but stopped when she saw his state. "Are you okay? Are you in pain or something?" she asked, walking closer to inspect him.

He shook his head frantically and wiped his face. "I have to see him for myself," he said, and started trying to stand up. "I have to know this is for real."

The nurse quickly made him sit. "You can't see him right now. He needs to sleep and you still have to see the doctor," she insisted.

"No, I have to see him," Ryan said pleadingly, still trying to stand.

The nurse glanced at the door with a frown. "Fine, but just for a minute," she said. Ryan immediately started to stand and stumbled his way to the door. The nurse hurried after him quickly. "Wait. Use a wheelchair. You're not ready to walk yet."

"I don't need any damn wheelchair," Ryan grunted as he pulled the door open and turned the corner. He made his way to the next room and opened the door slowly, wondering if Jacob would hear him if he was too loud.

Before he entered the room, the nurse put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't wake him. He needs his rest," she said.

Ryan nodded without looking at her and walked inside. The room was dark except for a small amount of moonlight coming from the shaded window on the other side of the room. There was a single bed in the corner that was in a slightly reclined position, only half hidden behind a curtain. Ryan's eyes landed on a legs tucked in under the covers, one hand barely visible at the edge of the curtain.

With his heart rate speeding up, Ryan walked closer and looked down upon the most beautiful face he'd ever seen. Jacob's shiny blonde hair lay over his forehead perfectly, and his lips a slight shade paler than usual, but not any less plump and soft looking. Ryan reached a hand out slowly and ran his fingers through Jacob's soft, golden locks. A lump formed in his throat and he let a tiny sob leave his lips. "How...? I thought I lost you..." he murmured, shaking his head.

He sat down in the chair next to Jacob's bed, his eyes never leaving Jacob's sleeping face. He was a little pale and his breathing with shallower than before, but he was breathing. His chest was rising and falling like it should. That was the most important thing. His eyes moved under his eyelids and Ryan wondered what he was dreaming about. He put his hand in Jacob's and held it to his chest. "Please, wake up soon. I want to hear your voice," he whispered. "If you don't wake up, I can't see your eyes or hear you laugh..."

There was a hand on Ryan's shoulder then and he glanced at the nurse. She rubbed his back comfortingly. "Come on. Let's let him sleep," she said. "You can see him in the morning."

Ryan took another look at Jacob before he nodded and stood up, following the nurse to the door. He hesitated just before leaving and ran back to Jacob's side to brush a small kiss over his forehead. Ryan smiled down at him. "Take your time, baby," he said. Then he left.

*******

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