January 14 2014

"I know this is going to be difficult for you , Luce." My mother began " but I promise you it's for the best. Greenwood is one of the best rehabilitation centres in the UK they'll have you back to normal in no time." I wasn't listening , my mind was a million miles away her words meant nothing to me. The car had been parked outside the centre for more than half an hour and I could tell I was beginning to test my mother's patience , I'd made it very clear to her that I didn't need to attend a detox program nor did I need to stay here for the duration of it , but as usual I was ignored. "Luce, please." She sighed "get out of the car. You need to do this for you know it's going to benefit you in the long run. You don't want to end up like him do you?"

I flinched at the not so subtle mention of Hayden , since leaving home I hadn't been allowed to contact him or any of my other friends. I had no idea if he was okay , for all I know he could be dead , the thought had troubled me to no end and I'd began having nightmares they were always the same , him lying on the cold gravel with me stood next to him screaming for him to wake up but he never does. "I have told you plenty of times." I murmured "I don't need to see anyone , I'm perfectly fine you're just over reacting." As alwaysI added silently. My objection fell on deaf ears as my Mother let herself out of the car and began walking inside the building. I thought about making a run for it but just as I reached for the door handle the central locking system was activated and with that my last chance of escaping was shattered.

A few moments later my mother returned , this time with two people who I assumed worked in the centre. If the whole situation wasn't so insulting I would've laughed , if she thought two middle-aged women could persuade me to leave the car she was sorely mistaken because I wasn't budging. In all honesty I knew this whole process was not only going to be a waste of her money but also a waste of time for the people in this place , this so called issue she thought I had was nothing more than something I and the others did at parties not a full blown addiction. I never ever craved the stuff , It's as if my mind were able to tell that the alcohol and drugs were a social activity and weren't to interfere with my 'normal life'. To some I might seem like a highly functioning addict but I knew I had no dependence on either drugs or alcohol and that's what pissed me off the most. Not only that I felt guilty , there was an astronomically long waiting list for this place , a list filled with people who actually needed to use the services here but clearly my mother paid no attention to that. In she charged with her cheque book ready and willing to pay whatever price necessary to get me a place here and that meant the people who really needed this place had to wait that little bit longer , I just hoped that nothing bad happened to any of them while they waited.

The car door swung open and I glanced at the two employees , they both had kind eyes but they wore the same expression on their face , tough loveI thought to myself. At least they don't look like total ass holes. "Hello , Lucia." One of the women said "my names Martha and the other ladies name is Penelope. We're two of the senior nurses in the clinic , how about you climb out and we can give you a tour?" In a slight moment of weakness I almost did , her voice was calming and had she had a very maternal appearance as did Penelope but I was determined to stand my ground. "Lucia , stop being so damn difficult and get out of the car." My mother snapped and sent me a glare that could've frozen hell. The two nurses turned to face my mother and this time Penelope spoke. "Mrs Smith , if you could refrain from using that tone. It's extremely counterproductive and as Lucia seems to be in a fragile state at the moment she needs not to be spoken to like that." The look on my mother's face was priceless I would've bet my life that her jaw would've hit the floor if she wasn't so utterly stunned. "We have a lovely room set up for you , dear." Penelope said , turning to face me again. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's going to be easy because it won't be , but I can promise you at the end of it you'll thank yourself for sticking with it." She held out her hand and for one brief moment I hesitated before finally giving in and climbed out of the car. The two women gave me a heart-warming smile as my feet made contact with the concrete and for the first time In a long while I actually felt okay.

"So , Luce." Martha began "How about that tour ? After were done we can get you settled into your room and we can tell you what's going to happen over the next few weeks."

"Yeah , okay." I murmured , I didn't know why I'd gotten so nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it was the thought of them actually finding out there was something wrong with me or the fact for the next 3 weeks I wouldn't be aloud any contact with the outside world while they tried to help me with my 'issues'.  I began following Martha inside the building , part of me wanted to say something to my mum or for her to at least say something to me but she stayed silent , not even an I love you leaving her lips.

The tour around Greenwood hadn't been too bad but I'd realized things around here weren't going to be as easy as I'd first thought. Both Penelope and Martha had given the place a calm and loving vibe but god was I wrong. The program I'd been put on was divided up into two parts , the first one  Involved me working with a councillor to overcome my 'issues' and to figure out why and I quote 'started using alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism' and the second part I'd be working with one of the rehabilitation team to try and 'detox' myself and to break the cycle of addiction. I'd only been here for a maximum of two hours and I already wanted to cry , I didn't want to be here but more importantly I didn't need to be here.

Thankfully my room wasn't all that bad , it reminded me a little of a hospital one but that didn't matter too much. The four walls surrounding me were white but thankfully my window overlooked the centre's garden , if I didn't have somewhat of an interesting view I was more than sure I'd go insane. Martha and Penelope had promised if I did well in my first week here I'd be allowed a few photos from home to decorate my room with and that gave me something to look forward too , I might even push for a magazine or two to stop myself from dying of boredom.

When night finally came and it was time for me to sleep I found it hard to shut my mind off. I had nothing to distract myself from what had gone on over the past few weeks and I'd tried so hard to block it out completely , but begin in a strange place without anything to occupy my mind with meant that all of those suppressed emotions and memories were slowly starting to push themselves to the front of my mind. The images of Hayden's lifeless body lying on the ground haunted me , remembering the way the paramedics looked at each other as they assessed him made me physically sick. For the first time since that night I cried myself to sleep , hoping and praying that tomorrow would at least be okay.

A/N

I'm extremely sorry for the late update. These past two week's have been super hectic , starting university and adjusting to a new chapter in my life hasn't been the easiest and I've had hardly any time to sit down and write.

I'm going to try to aim and get a chapter out every 2 weeks but as I have an exam on the 25th of October that might not be the case but I promise I will try my best. While you wait for updates I have a complete book on my profile if you want to check that out I'd really appreciate it !

Let me know your thoughts on the chapter & don't forget to vote your support means the world to me x